madman

2012, in the middle of winter.

The Mina River is as cold as in previous years. The twelfth lunar month is in the depths of winter, the coldest time. According to the weather forecast, there was a blizzard just a few days ago on the Mina River. The mountains and fields now look like a vast expanse. white.Fortunately, it cleared up yesterday, and now the sky is high and blue.

Zhou Xun wrapped himself fairly tightly, but a rope under the cotton velvet Lei Feng hat broke, and he couldn't tie it on, and couldn't protect his face, so he had to cover it with one hand, and the whistling old north wind would still blow. It got in through the crack of the hat and scratched his face, which hurt.

The road after the blizzard is difficult, especially in the mountainous area. The snow on the road into the village is too thick for a car to drive in. When the taxi was called from the county, the driver told him to get off at the fork before entering the village. It took a three-kilometer walk to get there.

Zhou Xun did not bring anything back to the village this time, only a usual canvas backpack. He had to go back to Beijing on the train at [-]:[-] p.m. I bought a lot of incense paper, some pastries that my grandma loved, and red date cakes, which he himself loved.

There are not many families living in the village, and the younger ones have all gone out to work. There are only some old people, and no one is seen along the way. The whole village gives people a sense of depression.

Grandma was buried in a public cemetery not far from the village. He didn't go back to the old house and didn't want to go back, so he went directly to the cemetery.

Because of the snow, every grave is covered with white, and it is almost Chinese New Year, and many people have come to pay their respects.There are new wreaths in front of the tombstones, and incense paper is pressed on the gravestones,

Finding grandma's tombstone, Zhou Xun found that there were some things placed in front of grandma's tombstone, a bunch of white chrysanthemums that were still in bloom, not withered, and there was also a box of red date cakes next to it, and some that had just been burned and were still black Incense ash.

It must have come after the snow stopped.

Has Zhou Dahai been here?Zhou Xun muttered in his heart.

Zhou Dahai is his father. When grandma was alive, she didn't see him a few times, but now she wants to see him.

Zhou Xun knelt in front of the grave, kowtowed to his grandma a few times, then placed his own things in front of the tombstone, and took out the incense and paper money he bought. The wind was a bit strong, and he used a lighter to light it several times but failed. Then, he finally took out a cigarette from his pocket, lit the cigarette and then used the incense paper to light it.

The flames and soot shot up together, and the tombstones behind were swaying behind the flames, moving indistinctly

"Grandma, I didn't come to see you last year. Don't blame me. I didn't come to see you when something happened at work last year. This time I will burn more paper money for you."

"Did my dad come to see you? He hasn't been in touch with me for several years."

"I've been doing well recently, and now I don't repair cars for others. At the beginning of last year, I set up a car dealership with my friends and sold second-hand cars. I made a lot of money. Now I don't have to work from dawn to dusk, and I can be considered a boss. There are also more than [-] employees, and they all call me Mr. Zhou.”

Zhou Xun smiled after finishing speaking, and took out another box of jujube cakes from his bag and put it down.

"I brought you jujube cake. I bought it in the county. Now people use machines to make it, and add more spices. It's not as delicious as yours. It's authentic. I miss that taste so much. I want to eat it even in my dreams. .”

Zhou Xun put all the remaining paper money on the fire, and the smoke got bigger, which made him cough several times.

After he took a few breaths, he continued: "Grandma, I still haven't found Zhile. I heard that he went abroad a few years ago, and he is promising. Our family also has an overseas student who went to drink foreign ink."

"Grandma, do you think I'm still looking for him? We've been together for more than ten years. At the beginning, he didn't even show his face, so he sent a text message saying that he broke up with me, and then disappeared. I've been looking for five years. Are you looking for it?"

Zhou Xun's voice became smaller and smaller.

"You used to say that I was a shaft, but I still didn't believe it. Now I believe it. I'm a shaft. I'm 32 this year, and I still can't let it go. It's a lot of shafts."

"I'm looking for him, and I don't have to do anything with him. Even if we're not together, he still has to call me Brother Shengxun? At least... at least give me a reason. But I've been so confused until now."

Zhou Xun's eyes were empty, his black eyes were out of focus, and he only looked into the distance.

"I miss him...fucking miss..."

The rest of the incense sticks were also burned, and Zhou Xun barely uttered the last few words, choked in his throat, and had difficulty breathing.

What has been said is also blown by the north wind along with the burnt incense ash, and is scattered and scattered.

Zhou Xun didn't speak again, and knelt for a while indifferently, feeling a little numbness in his calf, besides the numbness, there were also bursts of dense pain, I don't know where it started, and finally gathered in the chest.

After a while, he took a deep breath, stood up, patted the snow and soot on his knees, and when he turned to leave, he accidentally kicked the small bunch of white chrysanthemums in front of the tombstone with his toe.

The white chrysanthemum turned over, revealing the yellow bow tie tied at the lower end. Zhou Xun's footsteps stopped suddenly, and his eyes were nailed to the bow tie.

Among the people he knew, there was only one person who tied this bow tie in this way.

Lin Zhile tied her shoelaces in this way. After the knots were tied, one rope was longer and the other was shorter. The longer end was wrapped around the bowknot and hung behind.

he came back?Just came back?

Lin Zhile... is back?