madman

At the end of the video, Liang Jie watched the computer screen turn black, but the desolation of the last second penetrated the screen and permeated the consultation room, covering up the pleasant incense and the beautiful piano music.

Lin Zhile has also been listening to the sound coming from the computer, but the expression on his face has not changed at all compared to just now, it can be seen that he has watched this video countless times.

Liang Jie got up from the computer, sat next to Lin Zhile again, and continued to write with the pen in his hand, "Having hallucination symptoms, you haven't experienced them for more than half a year, and, when you came last time, you said you were insomnia The situation has improved a lot, I have slowed down your sleeping pills a lot, can you tell me, what happened to you recently?"

"I met him again, in the Mina River, in the old house, I was trapped in the village by the snowstorm for three days, and then I met Brother Xun again." Lin Zhile raised the corner of his mouth when he said this, "He lost weight, but Still so good-looking, this time I didn't look at him secretly, he was right in front of my eyes, very close, so close that I could touch the tip of his nose as soon as I stretched out my hand."

"Doctor Liang, it's been five years. I've always dreamed that I'm a normal person. I won't be like my father. I can always be by Brother Xun's side, but I'm still the same person as him in the end."

"In the past five years, I have been living with Brother Xun, living a half-dream, half-shadow, half-human, half-ghost life."

"All these years, I seem to have returned to the endless snowy nights before I met Brother Xun."

Liang Jie put down the pen in his hand, "The Zhou Xun you described to me is a gentle person. You grew up together and once loved each other passionately. In fact, having family and lover's company is more helpful for your recovery. .”

Hearing this, Lin Zhile tightened her grip on the sweater, "Dr. Liang, I know you are a professional doctor. You have seen all kinds of patients, and you know all their possible symptoms, but you know the truth? What's it like living with a mental patient?"

Lin Zhile asked and answered: "I know, I lived 11 years like that, my father was sober from once in the first few months, to once in the next few days, until finally he was in a state of madness every day , in winter, he stripped me naked and threw me naked in the snow, and in summer he pressed my head into the river. From the time I remember, I only learned one thing, that is, to constantly Run away from him when he is unconscious, in the mountains, in the kennel, in the pigsty, anywhere."

"In the past, people in the village called him a big lunatic and called me a little lunatic. I told myself that I must not be like him, but now, after all, I have become him."

"When I was young, I had only one idea, as long as I lived, so I kept running, but now, I can't run away no matter what."

Liang Jie listened carefully to Lin Zhile's narration before opening his mouth: "Mr. Lin, you are different from your father. In the past two years, I have made countless medical assessments and diagnoses on you, and my diagnosis is the same as yours before. The judgments of several doctors are consistent, and you have no tendency to external violence."

Liang Jie saw that Lin Zhile's hand holding the sweater relaxed a lot, and continued: "And in the past two years, combined with your previous diagnosis and treatment records, you have only experienced some slight emotional changes, which are not controlled by short-term medication. Hallucinations are relatively mild clinically positive symptoms, and the most important thing is that you have not had any accidental internal or external injuries during the five years."

Speaking of this, Lin Zhile's breathing was a little short, her chest was rising and falling, and her brows were furrowed, "But I hurt Brother Xun, I broke his head with an ashtray, and Brother Xun didn't know."

Liang Jie asked: "Your memory is blank, how did you make sure that it was you who typed it?"

"At that time, when I was sober, I was still holding that bloody ashtray in my hand." Lin Zhile opened his eyes. He didn't wear glasses in the hospital, and his eyes were scarlet.

and...

And he once tied Zhang Qi up for three days, and Zhang Qi told him——

"The way you hold up the ashtray and beat Zhou Xun, you look like a mad dog!"

Lin Zhile didn't finish, and continued: "At the door of the old house, I looked at the scar on his forehead, and I was thinking, let me let brother Xun go, he will meet better people, at least He is a normal person, you can wake up with him, eat together, watch the stars together, and eat jujube cakes together."

"I thought, so be it, even if I have been living in the dark, as long as Xun Ge is good, I see the firewood burning, I wish I could burn myself."

"When I watched the firewood burn, I knew I couldn't let him go... No matter how well I built myself, I couldn't let go..."

—

—

Liang Jie also tried to appease, "Mr. Lin, you can actually have your own lover and get along with him day and night. You just need to have regular checkups. Your real problem is actually psychological."

"For Zhou Xun, what you can't stand the most is that you have used violence against him and hurt him. In fact, you can try to trust me once, and trust me as a professional doctor's judgment."

Lin Zhile grabbed her sweater again with the hand on her chest.

Liang Jie didn't let go of any subtle expressions on his face, and carefully recorded them.

He realized that Lin Zhile's situation this time was worse than before, and then said: "Mr. Lin, have you ever thought about telling him the truth, or, have you ever thought that maybe the person in your heart, It is your real cause of disease, and also your real medicine.”

"Actually, I often think that I haven't completely cured you after two years. Maybe it's because I'm too weak to help you."

Lin Zhile interrupted him and said, "Doctor Liang, you don't need to question your abilities, I know what I am like."

"And I also know that as long as I tell Brother Xun, he will definitely help me, but I just gave him an inescapable chain, and I may still have hallucinations, or even any possible situation." Lin Zhile seemed to recall something, and her hands became tighter and tighter.

Seeing this, Liang Jie hurriedly appeased him, and changed the subject, "Can you tell me again what you want from the bottom of your heart?"

Lin Zhile thought for a while, and repeated what he said in the video just now: "I hope that on the next rainy day, I will pick him up on time."

Liang Jie opened a corner of the curtain with the tip of the pen in his hand, looked at the dark sky outside the window, and said, "The first rain of this year is coming soon, I hope you can pick him up and go home."

After Liang Jie finished speaking, he added: "In fact, I really hope to meet Zhou Xun."

Lin Zhile couldn't wait to speak: "Dr. Liang, I want to be admitted to the hospital for treatment. I can accept any treatment, drug treatment, physical therapy, psychological treatment, just like before, any method is fine."

This was the first time Liang Jie saw Lin Zhile develop a sense of resistance to his suggestion. The previous Lin Zhile was too obedient.

Hospitalization didn't play much fundamental role for Lin Zhile. He had approved it several times before, but it was Lin Zhile's only means to appease himself.

It seems that as long as he receives treatment, he can recover faster.

This time Liang Jie did not agree as usual, "Mr. Lin, it is best to contact your family members this time, because many documents for admission and treatment require the signatures of your family members."

Lin Zhile was a little surprised. He sat up from the medical chair, "Dr. Liang, I chose to come here because you don't need to force family members to sign. I know what you are worried about. First of all, I have no tendency to commit suicide. On the contrary, I have a strong desire to survive, and secondly, I can sign a waiver agreement, and I will be responsible for any problems during the hospitalization.”

He agreed to Fang Hua to join the Fang Group at the beginning because Fang Hua was the only family member who could sign for him. Apart from Zhou Xun, the only person he could find was Fang Hua.

Liang Jie still shook his head, "This is the hospital's new regulations this year. I'm really sorry, Mr. Lin. This time, I can't issue you a hospital admission slip. Moreover, if you are hospitalized, you will miss the first rainy day."

Lin Zhile's eyes kept sinking: "If I don't receive treatment, I'm a lunatic, Dr. Liang, I can't control myself recently, ever since I saw Brother Xun again in my hometown, I've always been persuading myself to use various methods There are no excuses and reasons to go to see him, to find him, I am afraid that I will get sick again at a certain moment and do something that hurts him."

Liang Jie said: "Mr. Lin, you can really trust me once. I will prescribe you some sleep aids and regulating medicines. As long as you take the medicines on time and return to the doctor on time, you don't need to be hospitalized, and , you are not crazy."

Lin Zhile looked dully at the gloomy sky outside the window, "Who would want a lunatic?"

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