madman

"Brother Xun, I'm hungry..." Lin Zhile sat on the edge of the hospital bed, eating the apples that Zhou Xun had peeled for him. During the few days when he was hospitalized with a broken hand, Zhou Xun had to give him clothes for him Wearing clothes, and having to eat every week to find food in the mouth, the comfort is broken.

"What do you want to eat?" Zhou Xun was generally responsive, "After you leave the hospital, I'll go home and make bone soup for you?"

"I've been eating bone broth for days, and I want something with flavor."

"No, the doctor said, you have to eat a light diet, high in calcium and high in protein." Zhou Xun said while packing up the things the two left the hospital.

"My hands are so sharp, it will take two months..." Lin Zhile raised his hand to look at his bandaged hand, and sighed.

Zhou Xun followed him in other matters, except what the doctor said, he strictly followed, "If you can't do it, you can't do it. When you're done, you can eat whatever you want. Wait for me here, and I'll get you out of the hospital." formalities."

It happened to be meal time when Zhou Xun completed the discharge procedures and went upstairs. There were too many people in the elevator. He stood at the front and was squeezed down before reaching his ward floor. After going out, he bumped into a woman. is on.

Zhou Xun quickly went to help him, apologizing, "I'm sorry, I bumped into you."

"Zhou Xun?" The woman looked up at him.

Zhou Xun didn't expect to see Fang Hua again under such circumstances. Although the person standing in front of him was still very strange to him, he took off the huge sunglasses and removed his makeup. Now Fang Hua's eyebrows and eyes are the same as Lin Zhile's. There are many similarities. Unlike the last meeting, Fang Hua is much haggard this time, with a sickly pale face.

"Mr. Fang, it turned out to be you. I'm really sorry that I bumped into you..." After Zhou Xun finished speaking, he noticed the sign on the wall directly opposite the elevator entrance, which said the level of the oncology department. He looked at it again. Look at Fang Hua, "What are you doing here..."

Fang Hua smiled lightly, "Lung cancer has recurred..."

Zhou Xun really didn't know what to say after listening, so he asked, "Does Zhile know?"

Fang Hua said: "I haven't told him yet. I know he is also in the hospital. Because of you, I broke my hand...I know everything."

Zhou Xun was dumbfounded, and finally said: "I will take good care of him in the future."

"Is it convenient? Let's talk..." Fang Hua didn't plan to go anywhere else, and sat down on the chair in the corridor, "Don't worry, I'm not here to let you leave Zhile this time, I know I can't drive you away, and Zhile can't leave you either."

Zhou Xun also sat down, "What do you want to talk to me about?"

"Do you know Zhile's disease?" Fang Hua asked.

"I know, and I just knew it not long ago..."

Fang Hua was obviously a little surprised, "You know? You know that you are still willing to be with him, he is just like his father..."

"He is different from his father..." Zhou Xun interrupted Fang Hua, "Zhile is still the same Zhile as before, he is different from his father!"

Fang Hua breathed a sigh of relief, and then spoke in a calmer tone, "I knew about Lin Jianbin's condition before we got married, but I thought at first that as long as there is love between us, even he will get sick, but at least he will get sick." It won't hurt me, and I always thought he would be fine."

"But later, I couldn't bear it any longer. From the first endurance to the last resentment, day by day, a little bit of madness grew. Sometimes I wished that Lin Jianbin would die immediately. Later, when I looked at Zhile, I was afraid that he would die in the future. I will be the same as Lin Jianbin, my resentment towards Lin Jianbin was transferred to Zhile, so I left, because if I didn’t leave, I must have died first, but I didn’t take Zhile away with me, I admit I am very selfish, I would rather not have a son like Lin Jianbin, I know I am not worthy of being a mother, and then I got cancer, this may be retribution."

Zhou Xun sat aside and listened quietly, without further comment, because what Fang Hua didn't want was a treasure to him.

Fang Hua continued: "When I first came to Zhile, he didn't agree to join my company, because I went to you and asked you to leave him, and he knew about it. He told me at that time that he didn't agree Will leave you, but then one day he suddenly found me and said he was willing to join my company, but I had to sign for him."

"Sign what?" Zhou Xun asked.

"Sign in the family consent form for treatment in a psychiatric hospital. Only when the family members sign it can he be hospitalized."

In the end Fang Hua said: "Zhi Le is not the same as Lin Jianbin, and you are not the same as me..."

—

—

When Zhou Xun went upstairs to pick up Lin Zhile, he was typing on the keyboard with one hand while working, "Brother Xun is back, why have you been away for so long?"

Zhou Xun told Lin Zhile about Fang Hua's illness.

Lin Zhile was quiet for a moment, feeling a little complicated, after all, it was his mother, "She came to see me a few years ago because she was sick, and then recovered after chemotherapy, but she relapsed unexpectedly, I went to see her .”

"When I came up, she had already left. I will go with you later."

Lao Zhang drove to the hospital to pick them up, and it was already noon when he sent them back. The sun was very strong, and he was sweating as soon as he got out of the car.

"Excuse me, I'll take the things myself." Zhou Xun got out of the car and said to Lao Zhang that there were a lot of things in the car, which were brought by friends and colleagues when they came to see them after they were hospitalized.

"There are so many, you have to run several times to get them yourself." Lao Zhang said and carried some things upstairs. He didn't have a key, so he put them at the door first.

When Zhou Xun went upstairs, he found that he was putting things on the opposite door, and reminded: "You put the wrong door, my house is 401, the opposite door..."

Zhou Xun looked up at the closed gate of 402, a white light flashed in his mind, and then looked at Lao Zhang's slightly nervous expression, all the vague things before were strung together and connected together, no wonder he first The first time he saw Lao Zhang, he would feel familiar, because he had seen him before. Five years ago, 402 changed residents, and he saw Lao Zhang when he was decorating the house. Forgotten memories suddenly became brighter, and blurred memories became high-definition.

By the way, Luojiang on the grassland told him that a person surnamed Zhang has been asking his brother to draw him all these years, and the client's surname is Zhang—Old Zhang.

Of course, Lao Zhang would not ask someone to paint him for no reason, but Lao Zhang's boss is Lin Zhile——

When Lin Zhile went upstairs, he also carried something in his right hand, and said to Lao Zhang: "Old Zhang, you don't need to move the things in the trunk up, brother Xun and I can't eat that much, take the rest home Let the children eat."

After Lin Zhile finished speaking, he saw them standing at the entrance of the corridor without moving, put down their things, and then took out the key from his pocket to open the door. The key in his hand had not touched the keyhole, Zhou Xun said: "Wrong drive..."

Lin Zhile looked at the key in his hand, "That's right, Brother Xun, it's this key."

"I said the door was wrong," Zhou Xun knocked on the door of 402, the opposite door, "Open this."

"Brother Xun..." Lin Zhile called softly.

Zhou Xun first said to Lao Zhang, who was on the side with a look of guilt: "Old Zhang, you go back first, sorry to trouble you, I have something to do with your boss."

Lin Zhile watched Lao Zhang leave, and took out another key from his pocket. When he opened the door, there was still a smell of dust. He hadn't been back for a while, so he stood by the door , Said: "Brother Xun, I didn't want to hide it from you, but there have been too many things recently, one after another, I haven't had time to tell you."

Zhou Xun went in without saying a word, and probably guessed it when he looked at the decoration of the entrance. Except for the absence of wood carvings, the rest of the entrance was exactly the same as their house, even the slippers were in pairs. I only glanced at it a few times, but didn't dare to look closely, my heart was already very stuffy.

Passing through the living room, the door of the master bedroom diagonally opposite the entrance was still open, and the foggy blue curtains were blown up by the wind.

"Where are the paintings?" Zhou Xun asked, "What about the paintings you have asked someone to paint these years?"

"In the bedroom..."

Zhou Xun walked directly into the bedroom. If there is a difference, it should be the bed in the master bedroom. The head of the bed should have faced east, but it was changed one by one. Now it faces west, because behind the wall of tens of centimeters, there is Zhou Xun's bedside.

The painting was hanging on the bedside. Zhou Xun looked up at the painting and looked at himself in the painting. He remembered that it was the coldest time in Beijing before the Chinese New Year. He remembered that it had just snowed and he was still wearing a down jacket. , the background is outdoors, with the sun, but the weather is still very cold, and his nose is red from the cold.

"How long have you lived here?"

"Almost, five years..."

"Lin Zhile, you are amazing. You have lived next door to me for five years, nearly [-] days, and you have never seen me once only separated by a wall..." Zhou Xun touched the wall at the head of the bed. With dark gray wallpaper, "If I didn't have this wall, I could reach out and touch your ear when I was sleeping..."

Listening to Zhou Xun's hoarse voice, Lin Zhile's throat tightened, and he called softly again, "Brother Xun..."

Zhou Xun took a deep breath, sat on the edge of the bed, propped up with his hands, "If there is anything else, just say it at once..."

"I installed a positioning system on your car..."

"What else?" Zhou Xun asked.

"These five years of New Year's Eve, I have actually spent three with you. In the first year you were sick, had a fever, and was in a daze. The third year was also the same. This year, after I came back from my hometown, I attended the annual meeting. Smoking on the balcony, you broke the glass, I heard you drank too much, and then I opened the door and went in..."

Zhou Xun sat on the bed and listened quietly, feeling that he could hardly sit still, raised his eyes and scanned the bedroom again, saw the medical records with the name of the hospital on the bedside table, he reached out to get it, Lin Zhile subconsciously I wanted to stop him, but finally I took my hand back.

After Zhou Xun picked it up, he realized that it was not just a medical record, nor just a hospital.

He opened a page at random, and the name on the top was Anding Hospital, and that page was filled with records——

On November 2009, 11, the patient's name was Lin Zhile. On the third day of hospitalization, at 6:36 a.m., his body temperature was 5°C, severe insomnia, slight anorexia, and insensitive to drugs. The patient requested electroconvulsive treatment...

Zhou Xun only read these few lines, and didn't have the energy to look back. It seemed that the electric convulsion treatment written in the medical record was applied to him, and all his strength was exhausted.

He reluctantly closed the medical record, and scratched the corner of the bed sheet with his fingers, "Anding Hospital, Qu Jinxiang's mother lived in that hospital at the time, and Lao Qu told me about electroconvulsive treatment. He happened to be in the hospital when he told me. At the wine table, he drank a lot, tears and snot all over his face, he said: Zhou Xun, I went to the hospital to see my mother today, she happened to be receiving electric convulsions treatment, I didn’t understand, so I asked the doctor, I said What is electroconvulsive therapy? The doctor was silent for a while and said that it is what you think."

After Zhou Xun finished speaking, he stopped and swallowed, but the stone in his chest could not swallow, "Old Qu described it to me, saying that he was sitting on a treatment chair, and his body was covered with that kind of bandage... Wearing on the head, electrified..."

Lin Zhile slowly squatted down, laying her head on Zhou Xun's lap, "Brother Xun, it's actually not as painful as you think, so... difficult..."

Zhou Xun put his splint-wrapped hand on his side, and unconsciously stroked the hair on the back of Lin Zhile's head with his palm, and gently pinched it with his fingers when it reached the base of the neck.

He went on to say: "I remember the last time we went to the hospital to see Lao Qu's daughter, I told you on the way back, I can't remember, I seem to say, I am an outsider, looking at Qu Jinxiang His mother felt uncomfortable when she was admitted to the psychiatric hospital...I can still say what I felt at that time, because it was someone else after all, but Lin Zhile, I don’t know how to describe my discomfort now, the needle stuck my throat Nor is it the stone beating the chest..."

"Brother Xun, I'm just afraid that you will feel uncomfortable..." Lin Zhile put his left hand on the back of Zhou Xun's waist and rubbed against his stomach, "Brother Xun, don't feel bad..."

"How many times have you stayed in the hospital?"

"Eight times..."

"You asked for it on your own initiative?" Zhou Xun asked.

Lin Zhile didn't speak, Zhou Xun squeezed Lin Zhile's neck, and said after a while: "Our son... so I went to the hospital eight times by myself, and I... didn't accompany me once... .”

"In 2002, the year of your college entrance examination, we were in Nancheng. You said we would never break up, but you yourself were a deserter first..."

After Zhou Xun finished speaking, he felt that the hand on his waist almost penetrated his clothes and sank into his flesh. He took his hand off Lin Zhile's neck and put it on his back, rubbing it repeatedly. He bent his back, "Lin Zhile, if I get sick one day, I have to ask you a lot, and I have to let you take care of me by my bed, every sip of water and food, if you don't do your best, I can scream You, you have to agree to whatever I ask you, this is a lover... On the contrary, if you are the one who is sick, you have to ask me to do the same..."

As Zhou Xun said, he felt that Lin Zhile's cloth next to his stomach was slowly soaking through, getting hot and hot, "Lele, let me sleep in this room with you tonight, we will go home tomorrow ..."

The author says:

The back is sweet...