uncut

Before going to university, Ji Jian did a lot of psychological construction.

He remembered that Shao Youguang once lifted up a lock of his hair after a screening organized by the school, imitating the unserious appearance of the male protagonist in the movie, and touched it with a smile, and commented that it was quite soft.

But a soft-haired person does not mean a soft-hearted person.

Ji Jian handed in the volunteer form a little later than the others.That summer was very hot and sticky, and Ji Jian rode Song Manzhi's bicycle to school, so that he could deliver it to the homeroom teacher who was always sweating this season because of puffiness before the deadline.He rode with wind in all directions, walking side by side with the rampaging No. [-] bus.The wind ran through his hair to his toes, which made his thin clothes bulge up like a big bag on his back. He couldn't compare this to a heavy burden.Later, I recalled this day in my diary and wrote: I seem to be carrying a big paraglider. It cannot be seen or touched, but it leads a long line.

Ji Jian finally thought of two things before handing over the list of volunteer letters to the head teacher.One is that he decided to go to a different city with Shao Youguang.

The second is that unless he has to, he should return here as little as possible.

Here, this place, it didn't provoke Ji Jian.It's just that Ji Jian sees how annoying Qingshan is, and Qingshan has nothing to do.The mounds of dirt are like this every year.When the pomegranate flowers on the west mountain bloomed, the flames were still burning, but they burned more vigorously every year than the previous year.In May of this year, there was such a joke that the mountain watchman got up at night, went around to the forest behind the house to pee, looked up suddenly and saw a large area of ​​shaking and dazzling red, and ran down the mountain before he even had time to pull up his pants Shouting that it's on fire, every household in the immediate vicinity ran out. When they saw where it was on fire, it was clear that the mountain guards mistook the durian for a mountain fire while half asleep and half awake.

This incident has been reduced to a joke that has been circulated among the crowd for a long time.

But Ji Jian thought that this could well be a grotesque and beautiful thing.When his second uncle came from Shanghai last time, he brought him a lot of books, probably out of a hodgepodge mentality of bringing a little of everything, including Reader's Digest, and some famous literary works that college students love to read the most.There are many books dedicated to describing such extremely vulgar and extremely beautiful stories.But Ji Jian was not grateful to his second uncle, just because the Reader's Digest couldn't be sold, he always felt that the second uncle's giving brought some pity.You see, some of Song Manzhi's temper has also flowed into his veins.

It is worth mentioning that there is actually a set of Ibsen's complete works, yellow, three volumes.The three translators printed on the cover all lived in the period of the Republic of China.

For a long time, Ji Jian opened the book every day and looked at these three black and white faces, imagining how they would be writing at their desks.He didn't want Ibsen because Ibsen was too far away from him.He should really thank his second uncle, because with these books, he finally decided to slam the door of fate [1] and never come back.

As for the Muddy River, Ji Jian and the others no longer called it that.But there are always half-grown children lingering by the river, calling them affectionately.But when it is cut into type blocks and printed on thin test papers, it loses all meaning of being called Muddy River.

It is called the Huai River, which divides the south from the north and finally flows into the Yangtze River.Every time Shao Youguang came up with such a question, he would take the trouble to ask Ji Jian: Is our land the south or the north?

Human beings are indeed pathetic animals, and they have to find the so-called sense of belonging even on the issue of geography.South or North?It turns out that we don't understand ourselves.

Shao Youguang's admission batch was earlier than his, and he had already decided to go to a city in the north.He can't hide things, and soon everyone will know.

When a city becomes a political center, it naturally also becomes a cultural center.Shao Youguang tacitly agreed that Ji Jian would also go with him, because he felt that Ji Jian deserved the best and could get the best.

He knew that Ji Jian wanted to major in Chinese language, so he always smiled and said: "Then we will have a couple every two days, and I will direct whatever you write."

Ji Jian is more practical than him: "It's just you, you should read a few more books when you have time."

A collection of yellow Ibsen plays happened to be stacked on the table. Shao Youguang picked it up and flipped through a few pages, and sighed after a while, or forget it, it’s too ugly.

Ji Jian really couldn't understand how Shao Youguang, who was so miserable after reading a script, took the exam to study drama director by mistake. This small city doesn't even have a decent theater, let alone any drama to watch.They actually didn't know what drama was, and Ji Jian couldn't help worrying about the future of drama in his motherland for a second.

But Ji Jian knew that the Shao Youguang now was different from when they first met.When Ji Jian first met him, he only thought that he was a brat who was not afraid of anything, with a round green gourd naked, dragging Ji Jian all over the street.Inquire around the textile factory, who doesn't know Zhao Fengqiu's dishonest son.

Ji Jian can still recall his sweaty arms and his round, hairy, annoying head shaking and shaking.

But it was such a young man who was regarded as a "problem" who became Zhao Fengqiu's pride recently.

In this small city, picking up and dusting off any old sesame seeds and rotten millet can be the most novelty, and the neighbors talk about it for a long time.

"The son of the Shao family has passed the exam in Beijing, have you heard?"

"Son of the Shao family?"

"Hey, his father died earlier."

"Who do I think you are talking about, Zhao Fengqiu's son. Tsk, look at Zhao Fengqiu's face, you're almost laughing."

Song Manzhi naturally heard about it too, and she didn't bother to go out and gossip, so she told Ji Jian—really, did you teach Shao Youguang a lot in studies, then he has to thank you.

"No." Ji Jian sighed, and he saw a plate on the cabinet that hadn't been placed on his family's dining table for several days.Aunt Zhao next door blew up and asked Shao Zhenzhen to send it the day before yesterday, probably because Shao You has grown up, and she was embarrassed to send him to visit again.

"It seems that Shao Youguang is very lucky. But what is his major, director? What's the use of learning it?"

When she said these words, she was casual, sitting at the table peeling edamame.

"Mom, this dish..." Ji Jian didn't respond to her, but reminded her of the dish that was put on hold.

Song Manzhi glanced: "I saw it. Don't worry about it, the oil is too much, and it has been left for so long...I will just pour it out later."

Ji Jian didn't speak, he was tidying up the pile of used books and papers on his desk, took out the diary that was pressed down at the bottom, and put it carefully in the drawer.

"What do you write all day long?" Song Manzhi saw from the corner of his eye, "Aren't you going to study some language and literature? Do you also write something on weekdays?"

"No," Ji Jian was stunned for a moment, and he pushed the notebook a little further in confusion, "Some wrong questions or something." Song Manzhi didn't interfere with Ji Jian's study like some autocratic parents, after all, in the small town It's not easy to become a college student. Besides, Ji Jian thought, she only cared about where he went, not what he was going to do.

"Oh, I thought you were interested in hobbies, but Shanghai is good, it's better to go to Shanghai. I still think it's right for you to go to Shanghai, it's closer to home, it's convenient for you to come back, and the weather is good." Song Manzhi said again.

"Grandma has been counting on you all her life. When can I take your light and take me home to see." She seemed to be joking, but for some reason, what she said actually had some old-fashioned charm. His accent is like a beauty caught in a glimpse.

"I'm going to go out later." Ji Jian changed the topic a bit stiffly.

"Going out? What are you going to do?"

"The class broke up, I told you before."

"Neng, let's go," Song Manzhi sighed, "Just this time, it's hard to get together again."

Ji Jian arrived late that night. When he entered, the table was already full of people, and several boxes of beer had been moved, obviously already drunk.Naturally, Ji Jian's eyes passed through a long, long table, and saw Shao Youguang's face, he was smiling vigorously, talking nonsense to the person sitting next to him.In fact, the table is not big, but it is filled with too many people, which makes it look very long, as if connecting two cities.

And Ji Jian has to cross long roads and mountains to go from one place to another.

Ji Jian wanted to find Shao Youguang, but was cut off by Zhu Xiaohong.She dragged him to another table, came to this table, this table was for drinking, and the group of them didn't drink, they were bored to death.

So Ji Jian sat down, and a lot of people who didn't say a few words came to offer him a glass of wine jerkyly.The mouth is full of words, the future can be expected, youth has no regrets, and the future is smiling.

Clink the wine glass and drink it, as if you can really turn around and go to the future.

Ji Jian took a sip of wine, his angle was just right enough to see Shao Youguang's side face across a long table.There were so many people, everyone was talking excitedly.Therefore, he can look at Shao Youguang openly. In the mixed, smoky small restaurant, full of the unpleasant smell of hormones and dopamine, his gaze penetrates the mixed air, and he does not know what kind of special temperature it brings. .The visual distance of human eyes is not enough for him to see clearly, so in fact, this table is like the Huai River, dividing the south and the north.Ji Jian just watched from the other side, sliding his eyes across his forehead, down the bridge of his nose and into the vortex of his slightly raised lips, and then gliding past his protruding Adam's apple, before walking into the undulating arc covered by his collar, and disappearing. The shadows formed by the vague and ambiguous gray space at the point.Since when, this face became sharper.Where is the sharpness?Ji Jian couldn't tell, could it be that the browbones were higher, or that the eye sockets were sunken, and there were two shallow shadows under his eyes, which became more obvious when he smiled, adding something between a boy and a man? ambiguous.

Ji Jian looked at the whole person in a stupid way, and only kept one ear to listen to the people around him.I don't know why, drinking one glass of wine after another is a little angry, and I feel that the people next to me are talking nonsense.Are they really looking forward to the future, but why he has already started to look back.He kept looking back, on the one hand he thought it was good to stop time in those spring scenery, on the other hand he felt that it would be good not to go forward, just stop at this moment, Shao Youguang was sitting there, although there was some distance, It's a momentum that he's looking for when he's up.

"That..." A girl with the head of an overseas student patted Ji Jian on the shoulder, "I want to keep this postcard for you as a souvenir."

Her voice was low, and she stuffed the card and left. Ji Jian didn't have time to ask her before he heard what she said.

He turned the card over and saw the delicate words on the back, which were still written in commonplace words, "Friends are like water, and I wish you a bright future."

Ji Jian's eyes were sour, it would be great if there was a friendship like water, he wouldn't be so reluctant.

"Hey, Brother Shao," the squad leader said hello to Shao Youguang, "Ji Jian seems to have drunk too much, you can take him back later."

"Where is it?" Shao Youguang was a little anxious, "Who the hell did it, I didn't pay attention to him for a while, why did he drink too much?"

"We didn't find out until we finished eating that he was drunk and out of his mind."

"He drank it himself, no one fed him, hey, but I didn't expect that Ji Jian, a kid who usually can't tell, is quite able to drink."

A few people nearby chattered.

Shao Youguang walked over a few steps, and found Ji Jian sitting on the stool stupidly, in a daze, with his hands on his knees, looking very cute.

"Okay, you guys continue to eat, I'll take him back first."

"Hey, we agreed that we're going to sing karaoke after dinner, and that's the Blue Angel across the street."

Shao Youguang was deeply displeased with Ji Jian's behavior of getting himself drunk without saying a word, and ignored the squad leader at all, and put his hand directly through Ji Jian's armpit, and scooped him up completely.Ji Jian was also unprepared, and leaned softly into his arms.

"Can you go?" Shao Youguang put his hand in front of Ji Jian and shook it.

Ji Jian didn't speak.

So he made a old-fashioned and helpless comparison, and asked, "How much is this?"

Ji Jian looked at him mistyly, but still didn't speak, the lover was already drunk.

Shao Youguang suddenly felt that half of his anger had disappeared.He supported him and walked through such a dark and long corridor. The small restaurant was so careful that they were unwilling to turn on the lights.The source of the light is actually not far away, an exit with a blurry white light is located at the end of the corridor not far away.And what they are currently in can be an endless tunnel, a cave, or an air-raid shelter left over from the Anti-Japanese War.Their similarity is that they are wrapped in darkness and are good at storing secrets.

I don't know which neurons all over my body told Shao Youguang at this time, this is Ji Jian, Ji Jian who is not so conscious, the person he has been thinking about for a long time is now in his arms.His breath was wet on his face, and his lips were very close to his neck, moving slightly like an itchy kiss.

"Ji Jian." Shao Youguang couldn't help calling him, but he was reluctant to go out from the darkness to the light in just a few steps.

"Hey."

"Ji Jian."

"Hey." Ji Jian muttered to him, his voice soft and soft.

Shao Youguang unmorally hoped that he would talk more, so that he could kiss him more times.

With a small stagger, Ji Jian insecurely deepened the tightness of this embrace, unconsciously entangled his limbs even tighter, and his legs were folded together intimately.Shao Youguang then saw Ji Jiantuo's red face through the light at the end of the road.

The weak willpower of young people was completely shattered.Shao Youguang thought confidently, I like this person, why not?He is full of joy, they are about to go out, they will be in the same city, maybe the class will be very busy, but he will go to him as soon as he is free, he can work and make money, and then they will have a small room But very cozy rental house…

At this moment, it doesn't matter if you say it's infatuated, or it doesn't matter if you say it's going all out.

They were one step away from walking out of this darkness, Shao Youguang pressed Ji Jian against the wall.Nose tip to nose tip, he inevitably smelled the damp and moldy smell of the wall, as well as the smell of alcohol on Ji Jian's body.He followed the smell to find Ji Jian's lips accurately.

Then kiss it down.

But when he was still a little away, Ji Jian suddenly called his name.

"Shao Youguang."

Those eyes were wide open, looking at him bewilderedly, not knowing at all that he was in a situation where he was being taken from.

Shao Youguang kept the distance unchanged, breathing entangled.He heard his own voice hoarse.

"what happened?"

"I'm going to Shanghai." Ji Jian told him.

[1] "Bang" borrowed the ending of "A Doll's House" where Nora ran away at the end. "A Doll's House" also served as an enlightenment and influenced the earliest runaway scenes in China. It matches, just use it.bow!

The author says:

I wrote a bit confused in the middle of the night, welcome to catch bugs!