uncut

The Yan'an Viaduct sits above the city like a river.At that time, it was not able to run through the whole city like it is today, just like the Great Wall has only been repaired for a section, it is only a short section.

But it's really like a river.When Ji Jian and Shao Youguang looked out from the small window of the hotel where they were staying, they could see the river flowing in the sky.At a certain moment, Ji Jian thought he was still living by the Huaihe River, but when he glanced over, the river reflected bright lights.

However, they really couldn't understand why the lights here were always on all night.For some unknown reason, the municipal department illuminated the underside of the viaduct all night long, making it more like a wide river, alternating red, yellow, blue and green, and the shadows of cars swimming below.

Ji Jian followed Shao Youguang without asking why, and Shao Youguang didn't explain to him.The two made peace tacitly.

The way of making peace is as simple as looking at each other.Suddenly everything was vented.

Shao Youguang loaded the luggage into the car, and rushed down to buy two marinated eggs at a life-and-death speed. Just after the whistle blew three times, he caught up with the car at the last sound, and sat beside Ji Jian, panting.

Shao Youguang touched one to Ji Jian, then peeled and swallowed it himself, and said vaguely: "I was scared to death, I almost missed it, I didn't even eat breakfast."

Ji Jian was silent for a moment, then took out bread from his backpack and gave it to Shao Youguang. Song Manzhi just went to the street to buy it yesterday. The newly opened Jenny Bakery in Xiaoximen sells rare foreign things. The name is also weird, what kind of caterpillar, ham and chives, and butter buns.

Shao Youguang tore open the packaging bag, took a bite, glanced at the label, clicked his tongue, and said that the name was scary, eating caterpillars.

The seat was hard, Shao Youguang moved his butt, and leaned against the car wall.In this way, Ji Jian happened to be in his eyes, and the two of them naturally touched their knees, close to each other.Wear less in summer, the train is bumpy, and the touch is obvious.

Shao Youguang bumped Ji Jian with his knee, and said, "That's great, if I don't come, are you going to leave like this?"

Ji Jian said: "Otherwise."

So Shao Youguang cut it, and took another bite of the bread.Ignoring Ji Jian, he actually took out the book and read it seriously.Ji Jian really didn't understand what he was acting, and after a while, he suddenly touched Shao Youguang's knee, and said in a low voice, "No."

"What?" Shao Youguang raised his head from the book, looked at Ji Jian with piercing eyes, and waited for him to write.

"I was on the platform just now," Ji Jian swallowed, and continued, "I almost threw away my luggage and went to find you."

"I want to knock on your door. It must be your mother who opened the door. Then I ran in under her shocked gaze and rushed to your room to pull you up. I told you Shao Youguang that I was leaving!"

As Ji Jian was talking, he suddenly wanted to laugh, these were his sincere words.

Shao Youguang also laughed, and shook his head while laughing.

"You're stupid, you won't be able to catch up with the car like this."

"Ah," Ji Jian couldn't laugh suddenly, he was silent for a few seconds, "I'm sorry, I..."

"Okay, I know, don't talk about it," Shao Youguang said seriously, "I won't interfere with your future."

He supported the window frame with one hand, tilted his head, and narrowed his eyes.Probably because he was too anxious to go out, and his clothes were crooked.A foolish look.

Then he told Ji Jian, I will not interfere with you.

Shao Youguang never spoke nonsense, but Ji Jian didn't know whether it was a good thing or a bad thing.

Ji Jian wanted to say more, but Shao Youguang turned around and opened the window a little before he could answer.Because the speed of the green leather train was not so fast that year, the windows could still be opened, and the smell in the train was unpleasant in summer, so the air could finally circulate.

Still smiling, he quickly changed the subject.

"I followed Uncle Zhao's boat a few times during the summer vacation." Shao Youguang scratched his head and said.

He still has the habit of scratching his head, this is the Shao Youguang Ji Jian is familiar with.He thought a little sourly in his heart: "Ah, no wonder he turned black."

Shao Youguang didn't care what he was thinking, and continued to say excitedly: "Let me tell you, it's a coincidence that his ship can sometimes take people. Once it carried an old man who was guarding the door of a drama center. I heard that I'm going to study drama, so tell me you have to read Greek mythology first, and say that drama originated from that time."

"Then I picked up a copy of Greek mythology when I came back." Shao Youguang shook the book in his hand, and opened a few thin pages, which were obviously spread out in a pretentious manner.

"Let's get a taste of it."

For a moment, Ji Jian didn't know whether he should pay attention to the fact that Shao Youguang went out to work, or it was rare that Shao Youguang remembered to study, so he could only ask, "Then what have you learned?"

"Learn what?"

Shao Youguang seemed to be racking his brains to think about it, and then laughed.He stuck out one hand out of the car window, as if chasing the wind, and said, "Then let me tell you one, this is my favorite."

Seeing Ji Jian's expression of disbelief, he shrugged and smiled: "Well, I actually remember this."

"There is a god called Icarus... Icarus. He and his father were trapped in a labyrinth, and then he wanted to leave. So he used melted beeswax to make feathers into wings and stick them to his body , just flew out."

"It's so fucking cool." Shao Youguang finally sighed.

I don't know if Ji Jian understands the upside-down story he narrated, but the last sentence is indeed quite unpleasant.

"and then?"

"Then I forget about it."

Shao Youguang actually lied, he didn't tell the most essential part of the story.He hadn't forgotten it, and he remembered the story by the ending of that great tragedy.

But he believed that Ji Jian had read Greek mythology, and Ji Jian should have followed him, but Ji Jian didn't speak.Just as the train passed through the tunnel, there was a whistling sound, and as soon as the light dimmed, Icarus was vaguely left behind the train.They all seemed to agree on some things to avoid talking about.

But there are some things that Ji Jian knows, but there are some things that Ji Jian must not know.For example, Shao Youguang never wanted to tell him that it was not a complete coincidence that they met at the door during the summer vacation.

Shao Youguang didn't know what he was doing standing there, but he knew as soon as Ji Jian appeared.

"Oh, so I was waiting for him."

On their first day in Shanghai, they lived in Jiading on a chaotic street near Kunshan, where the Wusong River made a big bend.The smell of garbage evaporates every day.They don't like it here, and feel that this place is not as good as their own home.

Ji Jian frowned and said, "At least we take it for granted in our country, why is it like this here, it seems to be corroded by a big city."

Shao Youguang laughed, saying that we will change places tomorrow.

So the next day they lived on the side of the Yan'an Elevator, and when they opened a small square window, they could see colorful lights, or they didn't even need to open the window, and the light disturbed people's sleep all night.

The room is also square, with two beds, Ji Jian sleeps on the left and Shao Youguang sleeps on the right.In addition, what is even more memorable is the exhaust fan on the upper right, which turns panting all night.

All night, there were cars honking outside.Ji Jian couldn't help but recall that earlier their fantasy of a big city was the soundtrack of foreign songs plus a few whistles.

And Shao Youguang was sleeping a few steps away from him, snoring softly.Most of the quilt was thrown back, and one arm covered the eyes to block the light.

Ji Jian was awake, lying on the bed unable to move.This is a ditch he cannot cross.

In the morning, Ji Jian and Shao Youguang had breakfast at a restaurant called "Fuchun Xiaolong".

The store was full of people, and the two of them managed to squeeze in and find two seats.All the uncles and aunts who came out to do morning exercises and buy groceries in the morning were talking at the same time. The effect was comparable to putting a big stereo next to the ear, buzzing continuously, making people dizzy.Worst of all, Ji Jian and Shao Youguang couldn't understand a word of these words.

Xiaolongtangbao costs five yuan a cage, and Shao Youguang can eat two cages at a time, and he marvels at the deliciousness while eating.When the two of them were ordering at the counter, the aunt probably saw the two young faces in the early morning. She felt fresh, and when she was in a good mood, she enthusiastically recommended that the signature here is sweet wine stuffed meatballs: "Araziga's hand-made meatballs ah."

After a while, an aunt with a hot roll on her head and a white apron brought two bowls over her feet, put them on the table with a bang, and hurriedly sent them to the next table.The movement was swift and violent, and it didn't spill a drop.

Shao Youguang scooped up a large spoonful excitedly, his whole face wrinkled as soon as he swallowed it.

"What's wrong?" Ji Jian stopped and looked at him suspiciously.

"Today I finally know what is sweetness." Shao Youguang said bitterly.

In fact, what Shanghai and Song Manzhi said is not the same at all.Ji Jian and Shao Youguang traveled to many places, but they couldn't find the shadows of the old times that Song Manzhi said. Those theaters and mansions either changed their faces, or became old and trendy old houses.The bustling scene on Siping Road and Fuzhou Road described by Song Manzhi is actually very quiet now, with bookstores open, they don't look like singing and dancing.And, Ji Jian discovered that there are so many parks in big cities.

Where their park was a wasteland of grass, the park here is a lush and sheltered space.Some parks are always surrounded by people, Shao Youguang was interested, he dragged Ji Jian to join in the fun and took a closer look, and saw a few people in police uniform twisting a boy.The boy's lips were very red, his hair was longer than his ears, his limbs were extremely slender, and he seemed powerless to resist.

There was a circle of people pointing and pointing.

"What's going on?" Shao Youguang couldn't help asking.

"What's going on?" An aunt next to her clicked her tongue, "Catching the hooligans."

"Rogue!" Another mysterious person approached, "Does the rogue know? It's just...that's...with the man..."

"Don't you think there's something wrong with it? Just wait in this park, get tired of having sex with men, and don't feel too flustered."

"It's a disease that needs to be cured."

"Oh, I think so too."

They started chatting on their own, completely ignoring the two young men standing beside them.

Shao Youguang didn't speak any more, just talked about Ji Jian.

"Let's go."

"Okay." Ji Jian hurriedly lowered his head, and quietly clenched his hands.

He thought, what is Shao Youguang thinking?But Shao Youguang had no expression on his face, as if he was indifferent.He didn't know how to ask.

Ji Jian still couldn't help but glance back, his eyes barely met the boy's in the air, and after a moment, the boy coldly slid his gaze away.

So Ji Jian knew that he would not admit his mistake, and neither of them would admit their mistake.But what awaited him was interrogation, or torture? .Ji Jian suddenly felt that the park in front of him, and even the city, devoured them behind like a big and bizarre machine.

It turns out that homosexuality is like a scourge, not just in people's minds, it is an entity that can be seen and touched.

That night they slept in the hotel next to the viaduct for another night.Ji Jian originally thought that he would be embarrassed if he was in the same room with him.I didn't expect that I could deal with it with a normal heart.

Maybe it was the first time he changed the city, and he didn't sleep well these two nights.So until early in the morning, when it was still dark, he could clearly hear Shao Youguang turning over and getting out of bed, rustling his clothes.Then he walked to Ji Jian's bedside.

How long he stood there, Ji Jian couldn't count.Then he felt Shao Youguang bent down, patted him, and said, "Ji Jian, wake up."

Yesterday was the 31st of August, and today, exactly, now, at [-]:[-] in the morning, is the [-]st of September.

College students all over the country start school on this day.

Ji Jian didn't say anything, got up and followed Shao Youguang into the dark morning.In summer, the days are long.Xi Wei's white light has begun to appear in the sky.

They walked and walked, and finally decided to part in Waibaidu Park.Iron swings and benches in the park shone with specific light under specific light.Those black vertical street lamps stood on both sides of the road like slender figures—before the lights were turned off, the sun tremblingly appeared on the horizon.

They didn't explain anything to each other, just like Shao Youguang never told Ji Jian about leaving, and Ji Jian didn't ask.

The two were silent for a while. They were standing on the west side of the park at that time. When they raised their eyes, they saw another river branch from the Huangpu River, which was the Wusong River, also known as Suzhou Creek.

Strange, this world seems to be full of criss-crossing rivers, visible and invisible, organic and inorganic.They are like latitude and longitude, measuring vast lands.

They were amazed at the seriality of this river—this canal runs through the entire city of Shanghai, and each section has a section of human affection.In the morning, the vicinity of the Waibaidu Bridge is so cold, like a kind of empty prosperity.The bicycles, motorcycles, trucks, and tricycles that got up early passed by in the silence with their low beams flashing.The wide strips of river water come from afar, surging with black aftermath.

"It's so quiet." Ji Jian couldn't help muttering to himself.

"Yeah, it's such a quiet Shanghai." Shao Youguang also said when he heard it.

After he finished speaking, he seemed to feel a little embarrassed about his sorrow, smiled and said, "Okay, I'm leaving."

"it is good."

Then they both hugged.It was a very clean and pure hug, their shoulders touching shoulders for only a second before letting go.

Who let go first?This question was often debated endlessly many years later when they could sit face to face again.

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye!" Shao Youguang said goodbye with a smile.

In this gloomy, gray morning, only Shao Youguang is bright.

So Ji Jian knew that this was not just a momentary separation.Shao Youguang was very serious about leaving him, and Shao Youguang had been leaving him since they got on the southbound train.

"Yo, Amei is here."

Sister Xin yawned in greeting, bent down and took out her bag from the cabinet, took out a small mirror, and carefully traced and painted on her lipstick.

"Then I'll go first, Amei."

"Hey, let's go now," called Amei and scolded her with a smile, "I'm making fun of you, go to your boyfriend's house."

"Oh, who is looking for that pig?"

Amei from Hele Hotel is on the morning shift today. She got up early and rode a bicycle for more than half an hour in the early morning to arrive. She sat down and brushed her hair.

The front desk job is always free in the morning, because few people come to the hotel to open a room in the morning.A-mei took out a bottle of nail polish from the drawer and painted it.

But today, things didn't go her way. She had just painted one hand when she heard a creak and the glass door was pushed open.

It was a young man who pushed the door, pursing the corners of his lips.He was alone, but he walked in very firmly.

His expression seemed to be fuzzy, but Amei didn't care at all, she only cared about her nail polish that was not dry yet.Said impatiently: "Wait a minute, I can't register you now." As he spoke, he flashed his fingernails and fanned the air.

The man didn't speak, just lowered his head and waited beside him.

After a while, he suddenly said: "Give me 206, please."

"Sorry, we don't choose rooms here." Amei looked at her nails without raising her head.

"206, thank you." The man emphasized his tone.

"Crazy, you." Amei was finally willing to look up at the person, and she realized that this young man was in his early twenties at most, and his face was immature, young, and very calm.It makes people feel that he is beyond doubt.

Amei turned her head and looked at the wall where the key was hung: "Hey, I want to let you live in it, but you can't live in it. The room 206 just checked out in the morning, and it hasn't been tidied yet."

"It's okay," the young man said, "I just want to live in 206."

"Are you sick? What is there to choose? You should buy vegetables? Every house in our house is not bad..."

"I want 206, it doesn't matter if it's not packed." A double denomination money was placed on the counter in front of Amei.

So Ji Jian went back to the room where he and Shao Youguang lived.He pushed the window open, and the viaduct was dusty during the day, which is its true appearance.

The quilt was unfolded and piled on the bed in a mess.The floor of the bathroom was covered with black shoe prints. Ji Jian squatted down and carefully identified the patterns on the soles of the shoes—the horizontal and wavy ones belonged to him, and the vertical ones belonged to Shao Youguang.

He just watched it for a while.Then go to the bed on the right and lie down.

Ji Jian covered himself from head to toe in the quilt. He took a breath carefully, but he could only distinguish the smell of disinfectant.It is said that hugging is an instant action, but the quilt is a substance, which makes Ji Jian feel at ease, which is closer to eternity than any words.The hem of the jacket was lifted a little, and the quilt was directly attached to his lower abdomen. The fabric fibers turned out to be such an exquisite structure, as if another person's skin had been attached to it.

Ji Jian was covered in cold sweat, he hugged the quilt and finally had a good night's sleep under the blue sky and broad daylight.But outside the window is a complex, sophisticated city that has completely lost contact with him.

The author says:

I wrote the parting in Waibaidu Park because that is the place where Jiang Binliu and Yun Zhifan parted ways in the Peach Blossom Land of Secret Love.