uncut

Natural disasters and man-made disasters, natural disasters and man-made disasters, this year is probably really unlucky.

Song Manzhi burst into tears in these short seconds.She couldn't figure out what emotion she was in, but after all, anger was greater than sadness, and it turned out to be such an easy thing to tear apart all decency.

Standing in front of her was her son. He was much taller than her, and he seemed to be widening the gap more and more.It was only at this time that Song Manzhi realized that she didn't know Ji Jian at all. She used to think that her son was excellent and obedient, and this was what she was most proud of talking about.Of course, she never expressed it in any language, but when the female workers in the same workshop of the textile factory stood together and chatted about their children, Song Manzhi could straighten her waist even more.

She lives this life, and it's the only thing she cares about and can care about.For a young woman like her, where to talk about great courage, all she cares about is the eaves of such a wronged life.She has envisioned Ji Jian's future life trajectory countless times, and she also takes this as her own life trajectory to continue.What a happy life that would be. Go to a good university, find a suitable wife, live in a bright city, and it would be best to pick her up to enjoy her old age.

Her heart was completely broken, not only for the huge gap in values, but also for the bright future that she almost grabbed and ran away.Besides Ji Jian's, there are also hers.She admitted that she saw her selfishness at this moment, but why couldn't she be selfish?With tears in her eyes, she thought, I am human too.

The belief that supported her collapsed at this moment.Song Manzhi is this kind. No matter how weak the human strength is, once the bottom line is violated, huge anger and hatred will erupt.

She yelled out: "You are sick, do you know that? Ah? You can live a good life, but why do you have to do this?"

"Are you worthy of me raising you so big? Are you worthy of me?"

Ji Jian didn't answer, because the bad things in the world like to come together.He himself is numb, and his consciousness flies to another neighbor's house. Is Shao Youguang also sad?A person like him who behaves recklessly has warm and rich emotions, and I don't know if anyone can comfort him. Aunt Zhao herself is sad enough, and she certainly doesn't have that kind of thought.

How unjust, Ji Jian thought, when they parted, Shao Youguang gave him a hug.So Ji Jian also wanted to hug him at this time, these have nothing to do with Fengyue.They were still teenagers when they parted, and Ji Jian recalled that Shao Youguang still had a youthful face, which made him even more sad. He thought he was still hugging that teenager.

"Are you talking? Ah?" Song Manzhi continued, and she became more emotional, "Tell me...can you change it?"

"I can't change it. How do you want me to change it?" Ji Jian said expressionlessly, "Even if I don't like him, I will like another man sooner or later. I still have to ask you how you made me like this."

Song Manzhi finally realized that all of this seemed to be beyond her ability to change, and the sense of powerlessness and uncontrollability was the most deadly.After this mutually damaging war, Song Manzhi went completely insane.A decent man is indeed a rogue's disaster when he doesn't care about his own decency.

It's really crazy, she is in extreme tension, and she doesn't even allow Ji Jian to leave her sight, otherwise she will be forced to die.This is also due to the fact that this flood made her realize that human life is worthless and has never been worth anything.But how ridiculous is this, is love something that will dissipate if you don’t see it, is sexuality something that can be changed by desensitization treatment?Song Manzhi just wanted to seek a psychological comfort, so Ji Jian had to go crazy with her, because he knew that Song Manzhi was really someone who could make fun of his own life at this time.

At night, Song Manzhi couldn't sleep, and neither could Ji Jian.After staying up until the next morning, Song Manzhi leaned on the sofa and dozed off in a daze.Ji Jian felt that he was flustered with hunger, maybe he wasn't hungry, but just needed to be filled with something at this time.He went to the kitchen to cook the noodles, and when the noodles were cooked, he heard a loud noise in the room.

Ji Jian hurried to look, and saw Song Manzhi fell to the ground. She walked in such a hurry that she fell down.The corner of his forehead hit the door frame, and it turned red.

So Ji Jian silently helped his mother up.When he went back to the kitchen, the whole pot of noodles was stuck to the bottom of the pot.That day, he brushed for a long time.

Song Manzhi finally fell asleep, very deeply.This is because Ji Jian put a sleeping pill into her water.

He couldn't count how many days they had been fighting, but what was this, Ji Jian thought as he melted the white pill into the water.In order to cover up the bitter taste, he also added some white sugar to it.He felt that his deliberate appearance was too ugly. Both he and Song Manzhi seemed a little sick, but there was no moral ethics to judge right from wrong.

Ji Jian finally left this small house, he knocked lightly on the opposite door, and it was Zhao Fengqiu who opened the door.She was probably really tired, not in good spirits, and even spoke hoarsely: "Xiao Ji, you are here."

"Shao Youguang..."

"He's not at home," Zhao Feng smiled palely, "He's not at home very much, and I don't know where he went."

So Ji Jian went all over the city to find Shao Youguang.In fact, he was very tired, every family had difficult scriptures to recite, and he was no better than Shao Youguang, but he insisted on seeing him.Ji Jian left the entire city, and everywhere he went was devastated, all of which were the aftermath of the flood.Perhaps it was a fluke, he went to many places, many of them were visited together, and finally he went to the place where Shao Zhenzhen was buried.

In fact, he knows Shao Youguang well. He already knew this was the case, but he still didn't want to face the worst result directly.

That day Ji Jianman climbed up the hill, surrounded by cold tombstones, stone ones, many of which were overgrown with weeds.He turned his head and looked down the mountain, and saw the Huaihe River passing by, and large areas of reed flowers on the bank were in full bloom, white and soft, like gentle waves one after another.You see how dramatic life is, not just the bad parts, but the good parts too.

Shao Youguang's back appeared in the middle of a group of tombstones, and Ji Jian saw him at a glance, because people are always different from "objects" when they are alive.His figure was soft and curvy, just from the back, Ji Jian knew he was still sad.

Probably the same airflow and magnetic field made him perceive it, Ji Jian didn't believe that there was a connection between minds.

He suddenly felt the so-called reckless "fierce" nature of Song Manzhi at this time.This is a kind of thrill of killing and red-eyed.I like men, but I'm just human.

I am a human being, and I can exercise any rights as a human being, including eating when hungry, sleeping when sleepy, venting desires, and having sex/love with men.

He is like a piece of paper laid flat in the sun, and will go in a certain direction when the wind blows.He cursed freely in his heart, go to the fucking world.He wanted to go forward and kiss Shao Youguang, no longer a shallow kiss, but a deeper kiss, so that he could suck the tip of his tongue and the inner wall of his mouth.He wants to tell him that I love you, I love you, I love you, and he needs to tell him many times, so as to make up for all these years.This is a "yes" or "no" torture sentence written by Shakespeare, standing at the two ends of the balance, he is both Hamlet, and everyone is Hamlet.As long as the answers they get are correct, they can truly leave here forever.

But until Ji Jian walked behind Shao Youguang, Shao Youguang couldn't turn around to receive the torture.Shao Youguang must have heard Ji Jian's heavy footsteps.

He ignored him and let Ji Jian stand for a long time,

After a while, he suddenly asked, "What was it like when Zhenzhen left?"

"I…"

"Huh?" Shao Youguang turned to him and asked him, as if he was surprised that he hesitated to start with "I".

Ji Jian had no choice but to change the opening topic.

"She was covered under the white sheet, well, the expression on her face was not at all painful."

"Doctors did not deduce the time of death, so there is no specific time."

"Why are you all lying to me?" Shao Youguang asked lightly, "Is it interesting to always lie to me? If you lie to me, my mother will lie to me too."

"How could it not be uncomfortable to be drowned in water?"

Ji Jian didn't know what to say, he wanted to give him a hug, but Shao Youguang didn't realize his intention, so he just turned around and said, "Let's go."

"Don't be sad, it's true she..."

Shao Youguang ignored him and stood in front of the grave with his back turned.It took a while before I turned around to look at Ji Jian.

They all changed in some way, more or less.At this time, there is no time to take care of it.

"Why are you still here?" There was no more emotion left for Ji Jian in his eyes, he was just explaining calmly.

Ji Jian saw Shao Youguang's eyes with black pupils that were so deep that they couldn't see the bottom, and the whites of the eyes were covered with fine red bloodshots. "I just want to be with you, you don't have to worry about me." He remembered that he seemed to smile at that time

"I don't need it," Shao Youguang said to him almost viciously, "Ji Jian, weren't you very good when you left, why can't you drive away now?"

At that time, if Shao Youguang asked, where have you been these days?Ji Jian told him everything he wanted to say.

But when he got to the point of his mouth, he could only say: "Oh, good." The balance was tilted in a mess.

He turned and walked down the hill alone again.On his way home, he saw a row of several funeral houses open at the foot of the mountain.Probably because the business has been good recently, the proprietress stood at the door, smiling and putting a huge paper house on a tricycle.Red, green and green are very bright.

Ji Jian thought about where he had seen it, saying that the folks would send maidservants to fill the houses in the underworld for men who died young, and if the man had a habit of breaking his sleeves, he would be called a gentleman if he burned them.He couldn't help thinking, if he died, what kind of paper tie would he entrust his dream to burn for others? If he couldn't ask for it or was infatuated with it when he was alive, would he want to tie it up with Shao Youguang?The Chinese are ridiculous. If we can't get it in the world, we can see it in heaven.

Ji Jian shook his head thinking, but forget it, how could that person go into the dark night with him, he should live in the light, open and bright.

He was walking home, just in time to see Zhao Fengqiu struggling to drag a dead tree out of the textile factory compound.The old concierge chatted with her and said, "It's a pity you threw it away, why don't you leave it for me as firewood."

"Okay," Zhao Fengqiu agreed without saying a word, "The tree at home was drowned by the water."

"Hey, there are too many." The uncle took a puff from his pipe, casually broke off a branch of the crabapple flower, and threw it into the boiler for her wife to add to the fire.There was a sizzling sound in the pot, and the hot oil exploded.

Ji Jian stood watching from a distance.So far, their teenage years have come to an end.

The author says:

Well, leave the sadness for 2020! 2021 is sweet~