Xu Jun's life

The Beijing doctor explained to me the difference between early cancer and precancerous lesions. Li Zhurong probably knew about it, and grabbed Wu Gan by the collar: "Give me the phone number of that surnamed Lin."

I hurriedly stopped him: "Xiao Zhe, don't do this, he doesn't know..."

"You Qi gave me a phone call." Wu Qian has a good temper, and he is not angry when he treats him like this. He reached into his pocket and took out his business card: "He said he took his parents abroad to play, and if someone wanted him, he would call him." Telephone."

Yuan Hai handed over Li Zhurong's cell phone.

"I'll fight, I'll fight." I was afraid that Li Zhurong would be rude to Youqi.

The phone rang three times and was connected.

"Hello, Yuxi?"

"It's me..." Youxi recognized my voice immediately, and smiled leisurely over there: "Why, did you see Wu Gan?"

I have the urge to swear.

"Why did you lie to me? How have I lived for more than a month..."

"How can I live with your Li Zhurong!" You Qi smiled happily: "Isn't there anything I can do, what you did at the time was already a dead end, and if you don't make some big things, how can there be a turning point? Really let him kill that idiot surnamed Meng, and then the two of you will never communicate with each other?"

I was so choked by him that I couldn't speak.

With empty hands, the phone was taken away.

Li Zhurong put the phone to his ear and said angrily, "My surname is Lin, I'll fuck you, please listen to me, it's useless for you to hide abroad..."

I don't know what Youqi said over there, but he replied: "If you are not the teacher's friend, I will kill you."

Yuqi said a lot more.

Li Zhurong's complexion turned out to be a little better.

Then he said, "Mind your own business!" and handed the phone to me.

Although I know that You Qi has always been eloquent, I really didn't expect Li Zhurong's emotions to calm down so quickly.

"Xu Xu, are you listening?"

I walked to the corner of the corridor with my mobile phone, stood at the window and talked to him.

"What did you say to Li Zhurong? He won't really send people abroad to arrest you?"

"Don't worry, he's much smarter than you, he can see the facts, how would he deal with me, if it's someone else, he should have prepared a gift to thank me." You Qi laughed at me over there.

I've been holding my breath up.

"You are too much, Youqi." I condemned him seriously: "You lied to me about such a big matter, how can I trust you in the future."

"Don't, I'm not doing it for you, am I?" You Qi said anxiously, but his tone was not worried at all: "Think about it for yourself, is it better when you and Li Zhurong are facing each other, or if you get along well, there is business and there is business." A little better. This month, he didn't hurt your family or friends, and he didn't lock you out. Isn't it good to live in peace like this?"

"No." I refuted him: "I can't calmly let go of what he did before."

"What did he do to you before? It was his grandfather who made you drop out of school. Your parents were really criticized because you were gay. The matter of having a son was a compromise between him and his grandfather, just like you and Shen Wanyi , You know all of this. Don’t you just hate him for not coming to you for ten years? You grind him slowly, and one day you will find the answer.” You Qi did not forget to add: “Don’t be angry with me, I Instead of defending him, I can follow you to crusade against him, scold him, and talk about what he did to you in the past all day long, but is it interesting to live like that? I hope you can have someone to accompany you in the future and live a good life. You Think about it for yourself, are the days with him these days happier than staying with us in the past?"

"But people don't live just to be happy, sometimes they have to fight."

"If Zuo Qi can come back, I can live my whole life in peace."

"That's different..."

"What's the difference?" You Qi asked me back: "You take a breath, if you really separate from him, he disappears from your life, what is the difference from his death? Then you live alone for the rest of your life, You are only 30 years old now, and you have not passed half your life, do you really want to ruin your whole life for one breath?"

"You see, if you think that you have cancer and your time is numbered, you still want to spend your last days by his side. Because you think that your days are numbered, you pamper yourself and live the life you want. Isn’t it good to follow your heart? I’ve designed it for so long, just to let you see this clearly.”

I am speechless.

I could only smile bitterly and say, "But I don't have cancer..."

If you are about to die, you can still lie to yourself and say: you don't have many days left, so let's indulge for a while.

But I live.

Just like when a person is dying, he will often say something that has been buried in his heart for a lifetime.

Because when you are alive, there are too many ties, too many rules, self-esteem, family, and the past that cannot be ignored.

I am a rotten wood that cannot be carved.

No wonder You Qi said angrily at the end: "Then you can work hard, and when you really develop cancer one day, you will have a good life."

Go back with Li Zhurong.

It happened to be dinner time when I went back, and I saw Li Xiu standing at the gate of the garden from a distance. The roses were blooming wonderfully. He was wearing the white T-shirt and dark brown khaki pants I gave him. The cartoon pattern on it is dismissive.

"I'll come out to see if my YOYO car is outside." He explained to us very draggingly.

"Let the servant find it." Li Zhurong patted his head.

"I will add a coat to him when it gets dark," I explained to the housekeeper, "There are a few pullovers that can be worn as well."

I don't know why Li Zhurong forced me to drink asparagus juice even though I knew I wasn't cancer anymore, and the food was still too bland.

After dinner, Li Zhurong went into the study, and I knocked on the door.

"I have something to tell you."

He was sitting behind the desk, looking at the computer screen with his chin in his hands, and turned his gaze to me: "What's the matter?"

"I want to go back to my parents in two days." I said.

"Okay, I'll go back with the teacher." He agreed succinctly, and turned to look at the screen again.

"I want to go back alone." I said through gritted teeth.

He looked up at me.

The coldness in those long and narrow phoenix eyes almost made me afraid.

He stood up.

"What do you mean, teacher?" He walked up to me and reached out to pull my chin: "What do you mean, teacher, you want to move out?"

My eyes looked at the corner of the desk.

"Why didn't the teacher dare to say it?" He leaned closer and asked, "Since you have this meaning, why didn't you say it?"

"I want to move out."

He pinched my bones.

"Don't get angry, I'm here to have a good talk with you." I tried my best to appear calm: "I want to discuss with you."

"This question is not negotiable." His tone was firm, but the strength of his hand was a little weaker.

"Listen to me, Xiao Zhe." I looked up at him, looking directly into his eyes: "I am not a saint. Ten years ago, you said, you are not gay, I was expelled from school, and I never studied physics. My parents are being criticized by colleagues now. And you haven't come to me for ten years, and when you came to me again, you brought a five-year-old son with you. I can't help but care about these things. "

He looked at me silently, with no emotion on his face.

"At the very least, you should give me an explanation, talk to me frankly, and tell me why everything happened in the past ten years, and what reason do you have. We can sit down and talk Let’s talk, let’s start talking about it ten years ago, is that okay?”

His dark blue eyes were deep and deep, and his heart was chilled.

He said, "What if I don't tell?"

"Then I have to leave, maybe one day you will be willing to come and talk to me."

"What if I don't let you go?" He asked me calmly.

"I will hate you."

"The teacher already hated me."

"I never hated you, those were just angry, and real hatred will never die."

"The teacher is threatening me." He said bluntly: "But as long as I keep the teacher with me, the rest is empty talk."

"Then I shall die."

"I will not let the teacher die. Besides, the teacher has a strong sense of responsibility, even if it is for the parents, he will not die."

I feel like my heart is cooling down.

"Then have you ever thought about my feelings, my mood? I have so many things in my heart, how do I live? You say you love me, do you express it in such a way that makes me feel so aggrieved alive?"

"Teacher is with me, so we won't feel aggrieved. Didn't we have a good time in the past month?" He didn't wait for my answer at all: "In two days, I will take the teacher back to Beijing, The teacher's parents can also go there together, doesn't the teacher want to live with his family?"

I am almost desperate.

I don't want to ask him.

But I couldn't convince myself that I would live with him without suspicion as I did ten years ago, as if nothing had happened.

Since meeting him again last year, I have reminded myself every day that you cannot forget what happened in the past.You can't give up, don't forget how you got here in the past ten years.

Even if you love him again, you can't forget him.

From the beginning to the end, I never wanted to go back to him and be that devoted Xu Xu.

I want him to explain to me clearly everything in the past ten years.Then I can reconsider.

I'm not Youqi, and I don't want to give up my tone for the sake of Li Zhurong.

Be it stupid, stubborn, or overreaching.

I am such a person.

I have no power, I haven't learned physics well, and I don't necessarily have much backbone. I always worry too much, think too much, and I have no power to restrain a chicken. In front of Li Zhurong, I don't even have the right to say no.

But as long as he doesn't explain or apologize for a day, I won't let go of my knot and live happily with him.Even if it's just torturing each other, that's fine.

Just take it as, I can't feel sorry for myself who stood at the gate of R University ten years ago, smiling brightly.