Xu Jun's life

I slept all afternoon.

I am too tired, my mind is in a mess, I know that now I am not only unable to figure out the ins and outs of the whole thing, but also unable to deal with it calmly.

I slept until nine o'clock in the evening, during which he helped me up and fed me a bowl of porridge, and I asked him, "Has my mother been here?"

He said, "She made this porridge."

"Your father is teaching Xiao An." He scooped up a spoonful of porridge with lean meat, and put it to my lips: "Your reporting back to R University was postponed to the day after tomorrow, and it is still Group A."

"Aren't you going to explain to me?" I didn't eat the porridge, but looked into his eyes.

His face was calm: "Open your mouth."

I wanted to throw that bowl of porridge in his face.

"Are you crazy? My mother's impression of you is already a little bit better. Are you thinking that you will never be able to enter my house? What is going on in your mind?"

"If I want to come in, I can come in if she doesn't let me in." He said expressionlessly.

"Can you think like a normal person? She is my mother, not your enemy. Can you put away your way in the mall and use other methods to make her accept you..."

"Which way do you use?" He asked me back: "Smile at her, but she asked me to support you to have a son with another woman?"

"It's just a thought of hers, and I'm going to give birth again! She's an old man, so she's guilty of feudal thinking!" I trembled with anger, "You even gave birth to a son, but she can't even think about it!"

"If you don't give birth to a son, I will die, will you fucking not give birth!" The porcelain bowl made a crisp sound when it was smashed on the table.

He looked at me and I looked at him.

"Look, Xiao Zhe, is it so difficult to say it?"

Still he didn't say anything.

About this decade, about the incredible thing he just did.

He just stood there, looked at me quietly for a while, then turned and walked away.

He came back half an hour later.

Before he came back, Li Xiu gently pushed open the door of my bedroom.

Seeing that I was awake, the child immediately put on a haughty expression.

"Your father asked me to come and see you." He stood still at the door: "He asked if you were sick?"

"I'm not sick, it's just that I feel a little uncomfortable..." Knowing that there was a quilt covering me, I was still a little guilty when I faced the child's clear eyes.

He tilted his head and looked at me for a while.

"My father is not a bad person." He said suddenly, "He treats you very well, but you don't know it."

It is precisely because I don't know, how can I tell myself, remember him well?

"My father is smarter than you, just listen to him, don't think about it yourself, he won't hurt you." He taught me seriously: "My father said that it is not shameful to listen to the opinions of people who are smarter than yourself." thing."

This kid is very much like his father, no matter whether others can understand or not, he will say whatever he wants to say.No matter how much others want to hear, he won't say a word if he doesn't want to say it.

Li Zhurong and I started a cold war.

In the past, it seemed to be my unilateral cold war, but this time, his words seemed to be less.

He is a person who rarely shows fatigue, but on the day I went back to school to report, when I came down from the stairs, I found him smoking outside the car.

He has something on his mind.

I would rather believe that he is struggling, should he talk to me about the past ten years.

My mother finally recognized Li Zhurong's "true face", and never mentioned the matter of having a child since then, but treated Li Xiu a little better - probably because she knew that I would not have a child, no matter what happens, there is only one child.

I don't like the current situation.

Even if he comforted himself, he was thinking about whether to tell me the truth.Even if he does things the same way as before, I still feel uneasy.

He never did, and even in the worst quarrels, when I hated him to the point of gnashing my teeth, he never kept his thoughts from telling me.He was always straightforward, even if he was too arrogant, he told me clearly.

It was impossible for me to ask him, so I had to call Youqi.

Youxi was milking cows in Australia, and scolded me for the cold weather in Australia, saying: "I knew Xia Chen had no good intentions in recommending this place to me!"

Hearing me consult him about this matter, he almost forced me to repeat all the "details", then commented on Li Zhurong's character based on these details, and finally told me: "Xu Xu, you are too fraternal. "

"I didn't." I was taken aback by his adjective.

"You are just too kind to people." You Qi accused me, smoking a cigarette: "You are so kind to everyone, it is best to be a friend, but not qualified to be a lover. He is only kind to you, but you are so kind to everyone." He must be upset if you take good care of him. Besides, you are good to everyone, but it seems that you are not so good to him. "

"What's the point?" I defended, "I didn't just treat anyone well after I caught them. I only treat those around me well. Isn't that the right thing to do?"

"Forget it, I can't tell you clearly." He sighed: "Just remember not to be too nice to people other than your relatives."

I know that there is no answer to questioning, so I can only ask him: "So, this is what he is thinking now?"

"Of course not." You Qi said leisurely: "This is just the reason why he tosses you on the bed. What he thinks is, what's the use of you being nice to others, he is the only one who can sleep with you in this world..."

I heard my face burning up, and interrupted him anxiously: "Then why is he scaring my mother now? This kind of thing is not good at all. I have already said that I will not have children. Doesn't he believe me?"

"With your EQ, it's really difficult to figure this out." You Qi pointed out, "Don't you have a translator by your side?"

"What translation?"

"The person who can translate Li Zhurong's behavior for you is Li Zhurong's son. You can ask him, and he can translate for you how this matter is explained by Li Zhurong's logic."

"He's only five years old, how can you tell him. He's just a kid and can't listen to such things."

"He's not a child, at least he's much smarter than you." You Qi said in a tone of resentment: "You really do your best as a stepmother, but it's a pity that this child may not take you well. Even if you treat him No, as long as Li Zhurong is with you, his son will reconcile with you. On the contrary, no matter how good you are to him, if Li Zhurong breaks up with you, he will not stay by your side anymore. To put it bluntly, you Good things are only valuable in front of Li Zhurong, but they are worthless in front of his son. You only care about being good to Li Zhurong, and don't care about them?"

I didn't know how to refute it, so I could only say, "He's just a kid, too."

Children, in fact, are not wrong, the wrong thing is to teach them to be such a person.I used to feel sorry for Li Zhurong's bad life when he was a child, so when I saw Li Xiu, I always wanted to treat him better and not let him live the same life as Li Zhurong.

"Forget it, you elm head, it doesn't make sense." You Qi didn't bother to say: "Don't ask me, don't worry, Li Zhurong won't be wronged too much, there are people around him who love him. If he doesn't say anything, Someone will jump out to rehabilitate him, just wait and see. On the contrary, you, don’t keep standing in front of your parents, let them know how difficult it is for you, so that you won’t push forward and mention things you can’t do.”

Yuki was right.

When I went back to work on the first day, someone rehabilitated Li Zhurong.

It was early in the morning, and Li Zhurong was going to have a meeting. I walked to class, the school was nearby, and it took about ten minutes. Halfway there, a black car drove up. Said: "You get in the car."

I thought he wanted to learn from Chen Ke, but he just said, "I have something to tell you."

There were only the two of us in the car, and the distance was short, so he couldn't let him lay the groundwork. As soon as I got in the car, he said bluntly, "Did you quarrel with him?"

"It's about the two of us..."

"I know what happened." Yuan Hai interrupted me: "Are you angry that he deliberately let your mother see the scene after you did it?"

"you……"

"You have no right to blame him for this matter, and you have no right to ask him for an answer. It's because you are too simple-minded and can't see through anything." Yuan Hai looked at me coldly in the rearview mirror: "There are many things, the answer is just the answer. It's there, but you can't see it."

"what is the answer?"

"The answers you want."

I looked at him suspiciously.

"You also know that he did this very stupidly. Even though the relationship with your parents has eased, he still does this kind of thing, and his image in your family plummets overnight. You didn't plan to have children. He came here One trick is superfluous, and it will do a hundred harms but not one benefit."

"However, no matter how stupid you are, you should think that with his brain, he is not someone who would do such stupid things." Yuan Hai was still cold.

"What is that for? He didn't say anything, so let me guess..."

"It's because you are simple-minded and can't figure it out." Yuan Hai said with a sarcastic tone: "When this happened, your mother didn't know, and you would never listen to her to have a child. But you have already decided in your heart not to have a child. If you don't give birth, your mother will find a reason, there are only two reasons, either, you disobeyed your mother and didn't want to have a baby. Or, he didn't allow you to have a baby. "

I looked at him in shock.

"Your family doesn't treat you well, and they don't tolerate your homosexuality. When you didn't graduate from college, you dropped out of school and came back, and you were forced to stay away from your hometown. They didn't worry about you dying outside, but arranged for you to get married and have children. Are you a natural homosexual, just want to save face and embrace grandchildren. Now that things have come to this point, I have no choice but to accept. If you are now rebellious and refuse to have children, your mother will definitely be more chilling to you. You this kind I don't know how long I have to feel guilty about the temper of a filial son and virtuous grandson."

"So he shouldered this matter for you. If your parents want to hate you, they will only hate him for turning you into a homosexual and unable to have a son." Yuan Hai said coldly: "He did this because he thought that one day, you After breaking up, at least your home is still your way out, even if it is unreliable, he will not sweep you out. He planned this not to break up with you, but to save even the worst way out for you, you know That's his style of play."

I muttered for a while, and defended my mother: "It was because of rumors that my parents..."

"Because the rumors let your son who doesn't even have a job leave the house, you won't be gay when you go outside? They don't care about this, what they think is that if you go outside, there will be less rumors." Yuan Hai ignored my defense. : "There are too many 'because' in this world, it's not worth paying attention to. To put it bluntly, face is more important than you. This is an authentic Chinese family. You can whitewash whatever you want. I just want to tell you today, don't hurt your heart in the future." Chun Beiqiu, thinking that the whole world owes you, you are not so pitiful, and he is not so hateful. Many things are completely different from what you think, so don't chase him for answers..."

R is big.

"Why can't I ask for an answer?" I held my head up and asked him, "I can't figure it out, and I don't want to guess by myself. I have to spread it out for the past ten years. Is it just like this?"

Yuan Hai looked at me in the rearview mirror.

"If you don't expose the past, what do you want? Do you want him to kneel down and apologize? What have you been thinking in your mind for the past ten years? Do you think you have a reason? Do you have persecution paranoia? It was you who wanted to talk to him at the beginning. Love, you don’t know that he is the chosen heir of the Li family? You don’t know that his grandfather will force him to marry and have children? You don’t know that his grandfather can make you drop out of school with just one word? You chose him yourself. What did you do for him? What were you doing when he was working so hard for your future in Beijing? You are looking for a man in a gay bar. You also want to blame him for the loss of face of your family. Others talk about you It’s not because you’re gay! What does it have to do with him? Why do you blame him for not coming to you for ten years!”

"Let me ask you again, if you know the answer, what are you going to do? Will you feel guilty when I told you the answer today? Will you apologize to him? Or is it because he is Li Zhurong, so he doesn't need to apologize? Back then Can you just write off the vicious words you said when you didn’t know the answer, and the torment you’ve been forcing him to answer these days? What you suffer is a crime, but doesn’t he suffer? Because he loves you, Because he is Li Zhurong, and you feel that he is invincible, invulnerable, and deserves to suffer any crime, only your family's heart is the heart, and only your fiancée's feelings are feelings, so blame Li Zhurong for everything!"

I remembered that many years ago, I quarreled with Li Zhurong because of Luo Qin's matter, and he was so angry that he slammed the door.

At that time, Zheng Yehu said to me: "Mr. Xu, have you ever fought?"

"If one day you fight with someone, Xiao Zhe speaks for that person, saying that you are unreasonable and that person is justified, so he will help that person beat you. On that day, can you still be like this? , act like a messenger of justice?"

He said: "If you love someone, shouldn't you stand firmly on his side. I don't know why you pretend to love Xiaozhe to death, but you can't even say a few times for someone People scolding Xiao Zhe, wouldn't you be sad to see him sad? Or do you think Xiao Zhe is strong enough, so it doesn't matter if you stab him once in a while?"

He said: "If one day you kill someone, Xiaozhe will help you bury the body and take the blame for you. But if Xiaozhe kills someone, I'm afraid you will report him."

He said: "You said that Xiaozhe is not happy, you want Xiaozhe to be kinder to people and be happier. But I hope he is as invulnerable as before. Although I am just his friend, I can also accompany him in racing and fighting, helping him He buried the body. Mr. Xu, I'm afraid that the happiness of his life will be ruined in your hands."