The world is cool

Generally speaking, people with disabilities have a strong sense of existence. There is no discriminatory meaning in this statement. It is purely seeking truth from facts. Because you are different, others will always pay attention to you intentionally or unintentionally.

When I was a child, there were two around my house, one was in the front building, and the vasculitis developed to the amputation of both legs. At that time, I didn’t know what these terms were. I only knew that the uncle would sit on the homemade rocker every time he came out. In the car, the thing looked a bit like a wheelchair, but the pedals of the bicycle were refitted on it, and then he shook it forward with his hands, and the car started to move slowly.I yearn for that car. A large part of my childhood memories are fantasizing about sitting on it. For me before school, that car and a tank are the same concept.The other one is upstairs. My dad asked me to call her Grandma Wang, but I never called her once because I was a little afraid of her.Thinking about it now, she seems to be very kind to me, to be precise, to the children on our first floor. She often cooks sweet potatoes and peas for us, but everyone runs away after eating, no one thinks. Stay with her just a little longer—to a child, an old lady who can't speak but screams is like a witch in Smurfs.

Yes, before I met Huahua, all my impressions of the mute came from Grandma Wang——I have something in my heart but can’t say it, the more anxious I am, the louder and more terrifying the cry will be.When I was a child, I knew she was not a bad person, but I couldn't erase my fear. When I grew up, I was no longer afraid, but no one used such a special way to arouse my attention.

Huahua is so quiet that as long as there are other things, I will completely forget him.

Not just me, NO.17, the first prisoner, but even everyone in this place.

It was an ordinary night, because the weather was hot, so everyone queued up early to take a shower.There are limited places to shower in the prison, and no one will care if you can’t get in the queue if you are late, and you will still be driven back to sleep with the lights off.

The little lunatic was taken away to write a propaganda paper, and after a day of blowing the air-conditioning in the office, I was extremely happy. I was so envious, I hated myself for not learning a beautiful calligraphy.Da Jinzi and Zhou Cheng came earlier than me, and have already finished washing and returned to the house.After a cursory glance, there is no one I know in the front, back, left, or right, so let's wash it honestly and forget it.

I saw Hua Hua when I was washing my hair. To put it bluntly, I didn’t see him when I opened my eyes when I put it outside. Now I squinted my eyes with a head full of soap, but it was real.

He was just under the shower head, three people away from me, flushing the water quietly, no one communicated with him, and he didn't talk to anyone. The obscene jokes and cool screams in the bathroom formed a real and There is some absurd world, but he seems to be independent of this world together with the dim light and shadow around him.

The soapy water ran into my eyes, irritating me to stick my head under the shower head and rush.The water is cold at all, it’s okay to wash it on your body, but it’s like a small steel needle pricking your scalp. Your mother doesn’t need to save coal for the boiler!

After washing my head, I soap my body, and after washing the soap, I rinse the soap. The whole process only takes three to five minutes.And during this period, according to incomplete statistics, I looked at Huahua seven or eight times.

Because there were too many hot faces and cold butts before, I don't care about him anymore during this time, and I used to live well without my family, why am I so anxious to find myself uncomfortable?As for a person like Huahua, if you ignore him, he will really disappear.I think this is also a skill, abandoning all sense of existence and living as a ghost.

I knew that if I didn't turn my head to look, he would be automatically invisible again soon, and be ruthlessly deleted along with the useless information that my brain received every day.

But I couldn't talk myself out of watching it.

The child is almost skinny and grown-up.No, he is far less festive than New Year pictures, so let's take a posthumous photo, although it's a bit ruthless.

If I didn't get along day and night, I would definitely think that Huahua took drugs.Although one kind of rice feeds a hundred kinds of people, there is no reason why there is such a big difference. I have been here for a year, except that my skin color has turned a little lighter-every day I cover it in the workshop, and my weight has not changed at all.Zhou Cheng seemed to have gained a few kilograms, and looking at Jin Dafu's physique and the little lunatic's round face, how could the whole grains not work for Huahua?

After washing, I deliberately put on my clothes next to him, and then muttered casually: "Hey, have you lost weight again?"

No one cares about me.

"You have indigestion? Poor absorption?"

continue to be ignored.

"Aren't you sick?"

He just put on his clothes and strode away without looking back.

I stood in the wind with my underpants on, and Xiao Feng was trembling with anger all the way.

There are also bastards who add fuel to the fire——

"Feng Yiyi, you are making a nest and laying eggs in it!"

After going to the bathroom, the heart of my thirty-eight woman was agitated again.I want to search for Huahua if I have nothing to do, such as whether the work is done well, whether I eat too much, whether my basketball skills have improved, etc. I am so enthusiastic that I feel that there is something wrong with me.

Huahua also noticed that I was observing him, and our eyes collided several times. Huahua went from being indifferent at the beginning to being confused later, and now frowning tightly, her enthusiasm for my response rose step by step. Made Lao Tzu quite a sense of accomplishment.

It's a pity that the observations of the past few days have yielded no results, and Huahua really has nothing for me to explore.He doesn't communicate with anyone, let alone have any friends. When he goes to work, he concentrates on competing with the parts in his hand. The little lunatic scolded him for not being a team player.He is like a dispensable symbol. When it comes to Huadiao, everyone thinks about it, ah, the dumb guy at No. 17, but if you ask more deeply, no one can answer what he looks like. come up.I even thought that if one day Huahua suddenly disappeared from this world, the people in the prison might have to wait a few months to realize it. Of course, the premise is that the guards don’t call names every day. Someone figured it out.

Because no one wants to know.

One weekend in early August, all the people came to visit the prison as if by appointment.Jin Dafu's daughter-in-law, Zhou Cheng's sister, and Rong Kai's classmate, I suspect that they secretly formed the No. 17 Association of Relatives and Friends in the second district of Fushan Prison.

Hua Diao and I were left in the room.He was sitting on the window sill, I was lying on the bed, he was staring at the sky in a daze, and I was worrying about the letter paper.

The old man has not been here for more than half a year, since I told you not to come last time.I have made countless non-human and unreasonable demands on the old man in my life, but he only satisfied the one that is the least important.I suspect he did it on purpose.I admit that I made this request at the time from the bottom of my heart, but people always change. What was my state at that time, what is my state now, one is in the sky and the other is in the ground!

The bastard said that writing letters is the most effective channel for reformers to communicate with their families, even more useful than prison visits, because in letters you can say a lot of things that you dare not say in person, and you may reform yourself just by writing them.When I heard it, I thought it made sense, and now I'm really ready to do it, so I tested his words with practice-it's pure fart.

I racked my brains for two hours, but the letter paper with white background and red stripes was still empty, with seven words lying alone on the first line: How is your body recently...

Finally, I threw away the pen and gave up.

He turned over and lay on his back on the bed, and breathed a sigh of relief, feeling relieved.

Come or not, it's really not my brother's style to cry, act like a spoiled child, and roll around. Thinking about it is fucking cold.

"Huahua, is there anyone else in your family?" From the angle where I was lying down, Huahua's figure just fell in the middle of my field of vision. I knew it was a leopard, but I just couldn't help thinking of him as a kitten, or A stunted, "I haven't seen anyone come to see you."

Usually when I speak, eight out of ten times I will be ignored, so I am used to talking to myself in front of the wood, and it is time to practice the oral muscles.But today is different. Although Huahua is still looking at the sky, if you look closely, you will find that he is completely frozen.

I think I know the answer.

Huahua can't speak, but his mind is not slow at all.I think he knows what I mean by asking this question. If there is no one, there is no need to say anything, everything is natural, but if there are people, my next question must be, why do I never see them come to see you?

Obviously, Huahua didn't want to answer this question.

So I changed the direction: "I heard from Jin Dafu that you are not a local, so you came in...do they know?"

Huahua finally gave me a glance. This glance was very long-lasting, as if it was nailed into my body and could not be pulled out.

I lay on my back and raised my legs, and asked tentatively, "I don't know?"

Huahua suddenly jumped off the windowsill and strode towards me.

I trembled all over, and for a moment I thought this kid was going to beat me up, but before I could get up to defend myself, he had already walked up to me, grabbed my letter paper and pen, and brushed on it Write down a few words and hand them back to me.

I took it and took a look, okay, there are two crooked characters on the letter——

To shut up!

I moved the paper away, looked up at Hua Hua's backlit face, and blinked: "Sure, how about we write and chat?"

Huahua narrowed her eyes dangerously.

I swallowed, and maintained the posture of the jade body in an attempt to let the other party know that I am harmless: "If you are thinking about hitting me in the face or kicking my bottom, I suggest you do both." Don’t choose, it’s not very comfortable for you to be in confinement, and the bastard’s bloody damage will definitely deduct your time for exercising..."

What is convincing people with virtue!

It means that the person who originally wanted to commit the crime finally surrendered to your noble character, put down the butcher knife, turned back to the bed, covered himself with a quilt, and pretended to be dead.

I got up, looked at the tightly covered quilt on the upper bunk not far away, and grinned, but I was very kind and didn't make a sound.

No matter how dangerous, impulsive, violent, or black, this is a child.I have a problem with this person. It is difficult to change things I believe. To put it bluntly, I am stubborn. For example, when dealing with Huahua, I adhere to the traditional Chinese virtues of respecting the old and caring for the young. In the second half, Jin Dafu said that I have a problem, I think He is cold-blooded.

The five of us get along day and night in NO.17. It seems that we are the closest, but in fact, who has been really fucking close to whom?I still don’t know what the relationship between Jin Dafu and Zhou Cheng is, I don’t know why the little lunatic’s family doesn’t come to see him, I don’t know whether Huahua’s inability to talk is natural or an accident, just like they don’t know that it’s okay for me to howl Listen, I used to go to KTV with my friends on the road, and I had to make the finale. What little Baiyang, let me tell you what was in my heart.

But because no one cares, no one will take the initiative to spread themselves out, like a fool.

But some things don’t need to be spread out, they will appear in front of your eyes brightly, if you don’t want to see them, they are transparent, if you want to see them, they will have shapes and colors.For example, I finally figured out why Huahua lost weight this afternoon. It might not be the whole reason, but it must be the most important one - not eating well.Push it up, why is it not good to eat?I have no money.

The old man hasn't come to see me for half a year, but the money on my card has been paid in on time every month and has never been broken; Jin Dafu and Zhou Cheng are also paid in monthly, a daughter-in-law and a sister; Needless to say, the labor performance is good, and there are specialties, literature and calligraphy are outstanding in everything, and the remuneration for a casual secondment is more than that of a few days on the assembly line, so the extra earned every month will be given to me by the old man. He fought hard, not to mention that he used all kinds of weird ways such as betting to trick and abduct the inmates in the same cell.Only Huahua’s labor performance can only be at a passing level, and the little symbolic salary every month is gone for buying some daily necessities, and she is not rich at all, so we can order small stir-fries in the cafeteria, and we can occasionally make instant noodles to improve our lives. If he is lucky, he can grab two fruits at the canteen, but he will always just eat the dry steamed buns from the cafeteria, and the big pot dishes that are either salty or faded out, and usually there are not a few pieces of meat.

To understand this matter, I am quite uncomfortable.As the old saying goes, Xiao Yanshuang just hits rootless grass, saying that the more miserable you are, the worse God will make you miserable. I think Huahua has this vicious circle.

After dinner for the next two days, I paid special attention to Huahua, and the more I paid attention, the more I couldn’t stand it anymore. I felt that I had to do something. The starting point was definitely not such a noble thing as helping others, but purely to make myself feel better. Spend some money to get psychological comfort, I am so qualitative.

The method is also simple, that is, order two plates of stir-fry when eating, and then invite Huahua to come and eat together.

I have calculated everything, including how to deal with the little lunatic when he is sarcasm, but I have only neglected the most important link-if the flowers don't come, they don't appreciate it at all, and the ass is as if it is growing on the seat. Move the place.

The small stir-fry area and the big pot rice area are still separate, and I am not allowed to pass by with a plate.Greeting once is not enough, twice, not coming twice, not coming three times, making several brothers in the prison area ready to move, and even risking points being deducted, shouting from the air, if he doesn't come, we will come if he has money I can't spend it!The little lunatic also booed, and told me several times in private, A, you burn too much money to lie, B, you look dumb, Feng Yiyi, come on, choose one.

Pick your grandma a paw!

Forget, there is also Yu Qingzhou.This guy is quite tolerant of my behavior, basically turning a blind eye to it, and then on the way back to the workshop from the cafeteria at noon, he leaned over and said seriously, so you like this one.

Nima, what happened to this world!Can't I just show my love?Can't I exchange my true feelings for your smile!Does it mean that I am a pedophile just because I donate money to Hope Primary School?

Although Ruan Lingyu said that people's words are scary, but I, Feng Yiyi, are really not a master who listens to people's persuasion. On the contrary, I often feel that everyone is drunk and I am sober, and the whole world is wrong. Running with the right sunrise.So after being rejected by Huahua for the first time...uh, I don't know the tenth time, I still smiled and started the tenth plus one time.

But Huahua has reached her limit.

I always feel that he doesn't care about those gossiping people. The so-called limit is purely burned by my enthusiasm.

It was an ordinary day in mid-August, and the sun was still alive after six o'clock, as if it wanted to drag everything in the world to burn with it.The cafeteria didn’t know which muscle was wrong and actually gave out bananas. Although there are too many bananas per capita, sweet and glutinous things always make people feel comfortable and soft, so I walked back to NO.17 humming a little song all the way. .On the way, I didn't pay attention to Huahua's expression, because I was numb because of being rejected too many times, and besides, I can afford a small stir fry, so I think it is an improvement of food.I didn't know that as soon as the front foot entered the room, the back foot was pushed and staggered, and the back slammed on the table, my old waist!

Taking a closer look, the culprit stared at me angrily.

Angry eyes have always been the patent of little lunatics, Huahua has always pursued cold brows, but now I don't care so much, the pain in the waist really makes it impossible to maintain a good mood.

"There's something wrong with you!" I scolded.Apart from this, I can't think of any other explanations. It's just a problem to push people all at once!

Huahua glared at me fiercely, then suddenly leaned down on the table and began to write.

I could see that he was so angry that he couldn't control his strength and cut several places on the paper.

Huahua wrote for a long time, very long, until my anger rose and fell, fell and evaporated, and finally turned into a little bit of curious raindrops, falling with the wind.

The little lunatic sat on the lower bunk nearby and picked his nose: "I said dumb, can you show us the first half first, and then you can continue to write the second half, so that we can finish the second half after we finish the first half."

See, I'm not the only one who is curious.

Finally, Huahua stopped writing, and the huge page of letter paper was completely filled.

I stood there waiting for him to hand it to me. I waited for a long time, but Huahua just stared at what she had written.The hostility on his face was gone, and the coldness and indifference of the past had returned, as if all the emotions had been vented out along with the words on the paper.

I walked over and reached for the paper.Huahua's arm on the table moved, as if to stop it. I don't know if he regretted it, but I didn't give him a chance to regret it, so I pulled the paper over in the blink of an eye.

Huahua's handwriting is ugly. To be honest, it is at the level of the first grade of elementary school, with all kinds of crooked and separated radicals.But the strange thing is that there are very few typos, and occasional typos will be obliterated and rewritten, like a refined version.

Rong Kai came over to look at it, but I kicked him away, and then I sat across from Hua Hua and read it carefully word by word, as if I was listening to the other party face to face.

Feng Yilu:

I'm dumb, but I have hands and feet, I can work and eat, and I don't need anyone's pity, even if you are kind.Before you came, I had a good life here. After you came, I don’t think I’m any worse than before. I don’t know why you suddenly have a seizure. If you insist on treating me to a snack, maybe you have to spend more money I can’t finish it, but let me tell you, I don’t lack your food. I’m thin because I was born like this. If you think it’s because of poor digestion and absorption, it’s okay. If you burn too much money, you can spend it on filial piety and discipline. .Before you asked if there was anyone else in my family, I will tell you now, there are people in my family, there are fathers, mothers, older sisters and younger brothers, but my mother is not my real mother, and my sisters and younger brothers are also half-kissed. I ran away from home when I was 15 years old. I haven’t contacted my family anymore, I stabbed someone when I was 17, but I was lucky at that time, I didn’t get caught, I know that Jin Dafu hates me, you can tell him, he deserves it, if he doesn’t mess around, it’s not obvious If you have to pretend to be brave and work and live like a real coward, he won't meet me, and he won't be brought in by me.That's all I can remember what you want to know, if there is something incomplete, you can ask me at any time, but I hope you don't bother me after I finish answering, especially when eating.Finally, let me say it again, I don't need your sympathy and pity, even if it's kind, and I don't think it's kind.