Restlessness

The evening wind was cool and whizzing, people were coming and going on the street during the day, and after six o'clock in the evening, the whole sky was covered with gray and dark, Xu Yue suddenly realized that this was the fastest and most chaotic winter he had ever lived.

It seems that even the whole New Year is full of endless regrets, and sometimes even fantasies make people feel sad.

The entire third-year teaching area of ​​the attached middle school is also doing the final struggle before the college entrance examination. The end of evening self-study is still the old time, but the bell for the end of class rang once again, and there are no more boys who can’t wait to jump down from the stairs. There are no girls chatting with their sleeves in the corridors of each floor.

Li Ranran and Zhou Hui would bring a few papers to the back row of Class A every recess, sometimes they would just stand in the middle of the aisle of the third and fourth groups, and sometimes they would sit in Gu Yuan's vacant seat.

Holding the pen, Xu Yue drew circles on the clean draft paper, and finally unfolded the answer and a long list of formulas in front of the two of them.

"...Then did you understand the first question?" Xu Yue waved the pen in front of Li Ranran's eyes a few times, and finally gave him a slight push, "Why, you are still distracted after only a few minutes between classes ?”

"No, no..." Li Ranran denied it flatly, and knocked off the pen on the table in a panic.

"So, did you understand it?" Xu Yue bent down and picked up the pen that fell on the aisle, and looked up at Zhou Hui, "This is the answer, and the detailed process of solving the problem is written later. I also wrote the knowledge points next to it, if you still don’t understand, I will explain it to you slowly when you come to the classroom after lunch.”

"It's over." Li Ranran came back to his senses, picked up the piece of paper and looked at it for a while, and finally couldn't help but nodded, "Awesome, Xu Yue, your problem-solving process is better than the reference answer. The above is even more detailed, it’s really amazing. If you don’t understand this, high school is for nothing..."

Xu Yue didn't know whether he really understood it or not.He just smiled at Li Ranran, said "hmm" a few times, and spent the remaining few minutes between classes chatting with them about where to eat or what to eat at noon.

The expression on Xu Yue's face was the same as that when he just stepped into the door of dormitory 207, and he didn't show any abnormality at all, as if the person with the cold thorn in his eyes full of fierce words on the first day of school was not himself.Li Ranran was a little surprised. He always felt that something was wrong, but he really couldn't tell what was wrong.

The two-person table in the last row became Xu Yue's exclusive long table, and all the students in class A did not have any emotional changes because of an empty seat. Everyone and even every teacher devoted all their attention. During the review before the exam, no one would stand in front of Xu Yue and whisper, "Where's Gu Yuan?"

The owner of the outdoor cleaning area on the boulevard was replaced by a freshman in high school. Whether it was in the windy and noisy evening or in the early morning of the warm sun, Xu Yue could always see a few tall figures carrying half a bag on their shoulders. The tall broom ran from one end of the road to the other, and finally scattered the dead leaves that had finally gathered in a pile on the heads of several girls in the midst of a fight...

There were many moments when Xu Yue seemed to see them in the past. Gu Yuanhui stood not far away and waved to him with eyes full of love.

"Xu Yue, I'm here."

The second midsummer in the attached middle school came very quickly, and before I knew it, the whole campus was filled with the lingering and scorching sound of cicadas.

The leaves of the camphor tree seem to be greener than last year.

The quiz in the third year of the attached high school was not postponed because of anyone's absence, and the school-level ranking list was successfully transferred from the teaching and research office to Li Ye's hands. The only shortcoming is that in the form that Xu Yue is so familiar with, the class size in the upper right corner has been reduced from 40 to 39. Xu Yue looked over and over several times with a cold face, but could not find it again. Gu Yuan is a familiar yet unfamiliar name.

Many nights, Xu Yue came out of the bathroom and climbed onto his bed without saying a word, then bowed his body and squinted his eyes half-closed. The English song saved from Gu Yuan's playlist was always played in the earphones. Zhou Hui occasionally made a few noisy words, but still failed to break the peaceful atmosphere.Xu Yue clicked on his circle of friends, and the few posts seemed to be the only ones that could truly make him feel that Gu Yuan really existed and was with him, a living proof with flesh and blood .

But the more you look at it carefully, the sadder you feel.

Flustered and restless.

At noon the next day, Xu Yue went to Li Ye's office in person and asked word by word, "Teacher, do you know where Gu Yuan has gone?"

Where did Gu Yuan go?

Why don't you go to him.

Li Ye's eyes were complicated, he hesitated for a long time before he took out a piece of paper from the thick stack of information books on the right hand side of the table and handed it over.

Xu Yue took two steps forward, took a look at it, and saw that the five big characters on the title tore all his calmness into countless gaps.

"Exit... application form for withdrawing from school..." Xu Yue's right hand couldn't help trembling, he didn't even dare to look at the signature in the bottom right corner, "Teacher, what...what does this mean? Why did you suddenly drop out of school! In less than a month..."

The college entrance examination is less than a month away.

They had previously agreed that they would go to college together and do what they liked together.

"This application form was brought to me by Gu Yuan's mother before the start of this semester. She said..." Li Ye's expression froze, "She said that our teachers and the school should know about Gu Yuan's drop-out. No need to notify anyone... That's why I didn't notify the class, and I was afraid that it would affect everyone's final review..."

Ah……

Far-fetched reasons are always so ridiculous.

No need to inform anyone...

Only Xu Yue is the so-called "anyone".

"Teacher, there is always a reason for dropping out, right?" Xu Yue's voice was so soft that it seemed that if she was not careful, she would easily destroy a beautiful dream she had woven.

Li Ye took a deep breath and said slowly: "Gu Yuan...he is going to study abroad soon, in fact, his family has already made all the arrangements a few years ago..."

"So... from the very beginning, Gu Yuan knew that he would definitely leave in the end, right?" Xu Yue was stunned for a moment, "It's no wonder he worked so hard to learn English... so it was all for today..."

Xu Yue smiled lightly. In the past few months, in order not to let himself have any chance to think wildly, he put all his thoughts and time into those textbooks that he had read countless times, and he finally ran out of them one day I tried my best to give myself an answer.

All that was waiting for him... was an application form for dropping out of school without any temperature.

There was no continuous stroke between the lines on the application form, and it was neatly arranged in front of his eyes. Even the signature in the lower right corner, the last stroke of the word "Yuan" was drawn down a lot, and the ink was thicker than the others. , probably stayed on that last stroke for a long time.

Xu Yue suddenly laughed.

"Thank you teacher." Xu Yue handed back the application form, bent over to Li Ye and prepared to turn around.

The next second, Li Ye stood up and reached out to grab Xu Yue's back hem.

"Xu Yue, wait!" Li Ye let go of his hand, cleared his throat and smoothed the thin beige T-shirt on Xu Yue's body, "The teacher hopes that this matter will not have any impact on your future test scores ..."

"Teacher..." Xu Yue paused, then said lightly, "Thank you for taking care of me so much."

Xu Yue suddenly wanted to run away, to go to a place where no one was around, to cry hard, and to forget everything that happened to him.

Forget about it.

But he can't and won't forget.

That afternoon, Xu Yue skipped all the self-study classes. He rolled his sleeves up to his shoulders by himself, dribbled the ball in the gymnasium and smashed it on the transparent backboard frantically.

Since then, Xu Yue has never had lunch with Li Ranran and Zhou Hui again. After the evening self-study is over, the time to return to the dormitory is getting longer and longer. Most of the time, she just closes herself in a dark corner next to the ginkgo tree In the middle of the day, the eyes that used to be so bright and full of stars began to gradually become hollow and lifeless, and the countless exercise papers that were pulled down and the plummeting rankings could not be made up again.

Next to the blackboard in Class A classroom, there was an LED light sign with the countdown to the college entrance examination as early as the beginning of the school year. Xu Yue put his face sideways on the table, and his gradually clear sight finally fell on the number "10".

Li Ranran and Zhou Hui would still pass by the back door of Class A, and each time they would look worriedly at the last row of the classroom.Finally, one afternoon, Zhou Hui couldn't bear it anymore, kicked open the door and rushed to Xu Yue's table, dragging him up from the table in a daze.

"Xu Yue, look for yourself." Zhou Hui pressed Xu Yue's head and forced his face to face the blackboard, or it might be the light sign next to the blackboard, "Open your fucking eyes and take a good look. There are still 10 days, 10 days! Look at your results again! You used to be the first in class A, but now! Li Ranran and I went to the bulletin board downstairs to find your name for a full 10 minutes. What is 10 minutes? You know the concept better than anyone!!"

Zhou Hui let go of his hand, pushed Xu Yue a few steps aside, and took out a thick stack of scattered but very flat test papers from his desk pocket. Each paper was so clean that he didn't even bother to write his name on it.

Among them were several math papers that Zhou Hui found familiar. After a few careful glances, he realized that this paper had been analyzed by Lao Yang half a month ago in class...

As for Xu Yue, he never even glanced at it.

"Xu Yue, what the hell are you doing now!" Li Ranran's breath was unsteady, as if he would cry at any moment.He pinched Xu Yue's sleeve tightly, and his eyes turned red in an instant, "Xu Yue, can you tell us what happened the day you went to find Li Ye...why did you become like this today!"

Xu Yue remained motionless, and turned her head to glance at them coldly.Finally shook off Li Ranran's hand, laughed a few times and said fiercely

"Go away, don't fucking touch me."

"Xu Yue!"

"I tell you to go away, don't you understand?" Xu Yue suddenly threw all the blank papers on the table on Zhou Hui, and finally sat back in his seat and said slowly, "You should go back and take the test Take the test, and leave the rest alone."

"Why not? Xu Yue! We are best brothers..."

"It won't be from now on." Xu Yue suddenly raised his face, his eyes filled with horrible bloodshot eyes, "Just go the way you should go..."

Correct.

That's it.

Gu Yuan...

Just go on the road you should walk, and I will live my life alone.

The countdown to the college entrance examination is 4 days.

After evening self-study, Xu Yue still didn't show up in the dormitory during the normal break time. To everyone's surprise, it was Gu Yuan who raised his hand and knocked on the wooden door of 207 dormitory.

"Xu Yue is back?" Li Ranran jumped down from the upper bunk, looked at Zhou Hui with surprise in his eyes, and rushed to the door without putting on his slippers, "Here, come, Xu Yue, why are you acting like this today?" Long ago—Yuan, Brother Yuan?"

Gu Yuan's entire left hand was wrapped several times with white bandages, and his wrist bones could be seen in the gaps, with bruises lingering in blue. He sniffed and looked around the dormitory.

Hearing this, Zhou Hui hurriedly rolled off the bed, put on his shoes indiscriminately, and rushed over with clenched fists.

"Fuck Gu Yuan. Your mother, where the hell have you been these past few months... Do you know that Xu Yuexian—" Zhou Hui stopped suddenly, and the words got stuck in his throat halfway through. His eyes were fixed on Gu Yuan's injured arm, and the bruised face on the left side, "You... what's wrong with you!"

"Where's Xu Yue?" Gu Yuan's voice was extremely hoarse, and he asked cautiously, "Where's Xu Yue..."

Zhou Hui lowered his fist, but suddenly couldn't let go.He took a deep breath, and dragged Gu Yuan from the door into the dormitory.

"Xu asked him... In the past few months, he sometimes didn't come back until three or four in the morning in the middle of the night, and sometimes he didn't come back after going out for a whole night... Gu Yuan, as brothers, I think we need to know some things. What's the matter between the two, even if it's a breakup, they can get together and get together, and at the end of the day, they will be passers-by... There's no need for everyone to make trouble like this, right?"

"No," Gu Yuan sat up straight suddenly, his eyes lit up but quickly darkened, "No...we didn't break up..."

"It's up to you whether you broke up or not, but can you tell me where you have been these past few months?" Li Ranran couldn't help standing up, took out his mobile phone from his pocket, and even turned on the call Records, "Look carefully at yourself, call records, WeChat chat records, and WeChat voice records...Gu Yuan, take a good look at it."

Gu Yuan stared at Li Ranran's cell phone for a long time, turned it over for a long time, and finally put the cell phone on the table, his eyes were full of pity, but he didn't say a word in the end.

"Gu Yuan, this is just a message I, Li Ranran, sent to you..." Li Ranran suddenly laughed a few times, "Have you ever thought about how much Xu Yue sent you?"

"Gu Yuan, do you know that this winter vacation is over, Zhou Hui and I saw Xu Yue on the first day of school, do you know how much we love each other? You don't know! You don't care at all... Putting this aside, Do you know what Xu Yue has become now because of you! Do you know! His test scores have been completely..."

"Li Ranran, shut up!" Zhou Hui suddenly put the cup back on the table, his face full of boredom, "We are outsiders about the two of you, and I understand that it is inconvenient to know, but can you tell us, you Where did you go!"

Gu Yuan was silent for two seconds, then took his mobile phone out of his pocket and put it on the table. The photo of Xu Yue was still on the lit screen, but there were countless unread message reminders in the middle of the screen.

"I'm going abroad."