promiscuous

The past has always been dispensable to Su Zhi. After years of hard work outside, he has already wrapped himself in layers of indifference and defense. He thought that he had no weaknesses, but when the train travels south, it is getting closer and closer to the south where he was born and grew up. When he was in a small town, he suddenly felt that he might not have escaped from his memories all these years. No matter how far he was away, this backward and closed town was his eternal pain. Once he got close, the scars would be reopened. It was bloody.

The air in the hospital is full of the smell of disinfectant, and there is silence in the intensive care unit, where everyone's life is counting down. This silence symbolizes death, and life is always meager and unbearable.

Su Zhi stood outside the ward and looked at the blinding whiteness in the window. The woman's white hair was wrinkled and her face was washed old and tired by the years. She quietly guarded the man on the hospital bed, her face neither sad nor happy.The man on the hospital bed had only a handful of bones left due to years of hard work and frequent hospitalizations. He was in his early fifties and looked close to seventy, and he was sleeping on the pillow in a daze.

Su Zhi knocked on the window glass, and the woman turned her head to look at him for a few seconds before she recognized him.Nodding to signal Su Zhi to wait for her for a while, she gently let go of the man's hand holding her, and changed the isolation suit to go out.Su Zhi leaned against the wall and waited for her to come out. After so many years, Su Zhi thought that she would be indifferent when facing them, but when she saw the man humble and helpless at the last moment of his life, she held on tightly to this love-hate relationship with her like a life-saving straw. Su Zhi had mixed feelings when she was entangled with the woman all her life, and it was difficult to express her inner feelings clearly.

After Su Zhi left, Yu Zhening still lived alone, went to work and socialized, and then went back to the empty house to rest alone in the middle of the night, but those who knew him could clearly feel that something inexplicable happened to him. Unknown change.

He works like crazy, the time to come home is getting later and later, it is getting harder and harder to get drunk, and he is good at teasing, but it is harder to ignite desire//desire.He sometimes laughs at himself, it's just a friendship by chance, it's just a coincidence, it's just a loose//slutty//body, why does he drown//want//obsessed like a demon?No one gave him an answer, he could only question himself, and then remained silent for a long time.

Sometimes Yu Zhening really hated her own empathy. If he didn't get close, she wouldn't chase after him;

But Yu Zhening was unhappy and unwilling, if he just let Su Zhi leave like that, what was he struggling with?Once again pushing away the boy who took the initiative to post in the nightclub, Yu Zhening only felt tired. He went out to block the roaring music behind him, and when he leaned against the wall to light a cigarette, he couldn't help thinking of the first time he met Su Zhi, to block the clamor Lips meet.

At that time, the snow was falling all over the sky, blocking the roaring music like that, the smell of alcohol rose slightly, the surrounding area was filled with coldness, only the temperature in his arms was so clear, he lowered his head and kissed Su Zhi's chattering shouts, Su Zhi also surrounded her He returned ten times the warmth with his lips and teeth, but at that time, there were tears on Su Zhi's face, and a puddle of water stained his neckline with warmth.

He suddenly felt that he knew too little about Su Zhi.

Yu Zhening didn't take a puff until the smoke burned to the end, and he hurriedly threw the cigarette on the ground and stomped it out when the pain in his fingertips woke him up from his memories.At some point, there was another person beside him, and after looking at that person for a few seconds, Yu Zhening finally realized that that person was Zhuo Lin, whom he had long since forgotten.

Zhuo Lin stood aside and looked at Yu Zhening with a gloomy expression, and there seemed to be pain in his eyes, "How can you let him go?"

"Who are you talking about?"

"Su Zhi, there are no secrets in this circle. Since you are together, how could you just let him leave like that?!" Zhuo Lin seemed to have tears in his eyes, but Yu Zhening's face was numb when he turned around.

"He wants to leave by himself, so what can I say."

Zhuo Lin wanted to hit Yu Zhening, but when he saw the helplessness in his eyes, he retracted his fists. He smiled helplessly, "It turns out that people are equally cowardly when they fall in love."

The elevator went up slowly, and stopping on the first floor was like a trial. Yu Zhening leaned against the wall of the car and closed his eyes to rest. The dark eyes showed that he hadn't slept all night.Zhuo Lin's words have been repeated in his mind since last night, making him worry over and over again, and clamoring for him to find Su Zhi again and again.

"When he was eight years old, there was an accident at home. The factory caught fire. He lost his parents and had to bear a lot of foreign debts."

"I was found out to be gay in high school, almost dropped out of school, and since then I have been stared at and notorious."

"When he was in college, he was forced to associate with a foreign teacher. He vowed not to commit suicide."

"You don't know how much he has suffered, how can you bear to let him go like that?"

"Why don't you try to approach him and ask what is the reason that forced him to give up?"

"He feels that he is not worthy of being loved, but why can't you try and become an exception in his life?"

Yu Zhening stepped out of the elevator and the assistant came up to greet him, "Mr. Yu."

"Say."

"The one in the prison offended Master Luo after he came out, and he went in again yesterday. The materials you asked for are on your desk. There is a meeting with the kin company at ten o'clock..."

Yu Zhening didn't speak, and walked into the office after nodding.

The thick stack of materials on the desk was carefully bound and placed neatly. The top page was Su Zhi's resume. In the photo, Su Zhi had just graduated from college. She was young but not jerky. There was thick defense and seeming panic on his face.Yu Zhening didn't understand when Su Zhi's later casualness covered up his uneasiness and hesitation, but in the desperate atmosphere of every extreme love//event, Yu Zhening could feel the pain from Su Zhi//pain release //Zong, like the luck of the rest of the life after a catastrophe, and like the last carnival of the end.

Yu Zhening felt uncomfortable, just a single photo could easily strangle his mind, making him no longer have the courage to read Su Zhi's life word by word.Yu Zhening was used to seeing right and wrong in big winds and waves in his life, but no one had resolutely appeared and disappeared in his life like Su Zhi. Obviously nothing was left behind, but it made him riddled with pain.

Yu Zhening didn't read Su Zhi's information again, he just sat in the chair and his shoulders trembled silently, but there was only one tear, and it dried up when it flowed down.

After receiving a group of visiting students, Wen Changjing sent the students away, leaving Su Zhi alone to guard the sleeping man who had just finished chemotherapy in the hospital bed. It is funny to say that this man was owned by Su Zhi's demon in his youth. The source of the shadow of memory, but also he stretched out his hand to Su Zhi when he had nothing and stumbled to protect him until he became an adult; he is the old principal respected by everyone in the small town, a great kind person who subsidizes poor students to go to school, but he is also his The life of an innocent teenager was distorted by robbing and destroying himself who was unable to resist at that time.

Su Zhi also hated him, but after more than half a month, other than being tired, she couldn't ignite other emotions. In a place like a hospital, both love and hate seemed too powerless.

Perhaps the temperature of the air conditioner was a bit low, the man on the bed coughed, Su Zhi pulled up the quilt for him, but the man woke up at this moment, and held Su Zhi's hand in a daze for two seconds, he still wanted to say something but couldn't breathe The phone blocked all the voices, so he could only open his mouth to confide silently. Su Zhi couldn't read lips, so he could only tell that the man had pronounced his nickname, "Azhi".

The door suddenly opened behind him, Wen Changjing stood at the door and did not come in, the man on the bed was startled, and let go of Su Zhi's hand.