Yu weep

During the summer vacation, I went back to Chunjiang and stayed for more than half a month.

Why is it more than half a month?Because in mid-August, we started school.Seniors and sisters in the third year of high school, the summer vacation is only fifteen days.They've been around for a while while we're in class.

With the comparison, everyone will stop complaining about the incomplete summer vacation.Even during the holidays, everyone made an appointment to study together and supervise each other.Nagasawa Bookstore has been there a lot, and it seems to have become a small base for the few of us.How familiar is the uncle who often sits behind the front desk drinking tea, we even know his name, from Uncle to Uncle Li.Uncle Li even memorized the drinks each of us like to drink: I like to drink fruit tea, Yu Qi likes to drink pure tea, Yunling likes to drink scented tea, Ke Xin likes to drink green tea, Yu Xiaonan likes to drink differently every time, but Always drink black tea once in two or three days.Our tastes hardly overlap, and it's rare that Uncle Li can remember it.

We also met Aunt Yao a few times. She found that after we came here almost every day, she would occasionally bring some extra refreshments, sometimes a few small cakes, sometimes a plate of cookies.At this time, Yu Qi would always argue with Aunt Yao, insisting on giving money to Aunt Yao.Aunt Yao couldn't bear her soft-heartedness. After accepting the money, we also gave money to Yu Qi, and Yu Qi said, "No, I won't accept it."

I threatened Yu Qi with my eyes, and reminded her with my mouth: "AA."

Yu Qi had no choice but to accept my money. Yu Xiaonan saw it with sharp eyes and said, "The relationship between you two is so good that the school committee insists on giving you money. How can we not give it? Or are you being polite?" !"

As a last resort, Yu Qi also accepted their money.

A week before school started, I went back to the old house of the Yu family.

One day before school started, Yu Qi knocked on my door.

At that time, I was playing chess in the online chess world.This day is a rare leisure day for us. We agreed to take a day off on Sunday, and this day is Sunday.Yu Qi rejected my invitation to play chess together ("The user experience is too bad! You are crushing!"), and chose to play computer games and watch live in her room for a while.We usually do our homework together in the restaurant, and rarely go to each other's room.

So I was a little surprised that she took the initiative to knock on my door.

I opened the door and ushered her in.Because at home, Yu Qi was wearing home clothes, and he was dressed casually.But her expression was a little uneasy. I glanced at her right hand, and sure enough, she was grabbing the hem of her clothes.

"Do you...do you have something to say?" I saw that she hesitated to speak, her eyebrows were furrowed, so I asked her first.

She nodded slowly: "There is indeed something..." She paused again.

Expressing is really difficult for her.Or, maybe what she wants to say is a very, very important decision for her.

I thought about it, probably, maybe I guessed a little bit.

"Do you want me to accompany you to Qisan?" I saw her so entangled, thought for a while, and then expressed my guess.

"...Yes." Yu Qi frowned.

Now that I have opened my mouth, she didn't continue to struggle.She straightened her expression and asked me: "My psychiatrist told me that I can find a friend or relative who can rest assured to accompany me."

I nodded and waited for the next text.

She added: "These few times he felt that my progress was good, and he could consider letting relatives and friends know about participating in the treatment."

I nodded.

Yu Qi looked at me with wet eyes.like small animals.

She said, "Would you like to come with me?"

Of course I am willing: "Yes, is it tomorrow?"

After Yu Qi got an affirmative answer, he relaxed.She smiled: "Yes, it's tomorrow. It's a bit far away. I made an appointment at nine o'clock, but I'm afraid we'll get up at seven. Can you?"

What's so difficult about it?I naturally nodded.

Yu Qi stayed here, watching me play chess.As I played, I explained to her why I came here, the other party's intentions, how to break the game, and so on.Yu Qi was very surprised at first, and after slowly comprehending some essence, he would even take the initiative to interact with me, asking me if this step is for this purpose, what is the other party's intention in this position, and so on.

Unknowingly, time slipped into the evening.I looked at the time, and then at the chessboard. It was almost the end of the game, and I said to Yu Qi, "Shall we go to eat after this game? I want to eat sliced ​​duck." It just so happened that the sliced ​​duck can be bought and eaten.

Yu Qi has no objection: "Okay."

During the speech, the game is over.We walked slowly to the school gate.In the summer of Tongcheng, the sun was still hanging in the sky at 06:30, the sky was still white, and there was no sign of evening.We walked to the other side of the school gate, which is also the gate of the South Vegetable Market (if you want to talk about the signs of the evening, the evening market after get off work in the evening makes people feel the arrival of the evening more than the sky), there is a delicious sliced ​​duck over there .

We came here by accident, the last ready-made roast duck has been sold out, and we still have to wait ten minutes for the next one to come out.When Yu Qi heard the news, he let out a slightly disappointed "ah".I kind of wanted to stroke her head and smooth her hair, but apparently that wasn't an option.So I comforted her: "Think about it, although we missed the last duck, we will be able to eat the first roast duck that was just out of the oven and the best roast duck later. Would you feel lucky if you think this way? "

After hearing what I said, Yu Qi smiled slightly and said, "You're right."

Wait for ten more minutes.After confirming the seven o'clock with the boss, I made a suggestion: "Shall we go for a walk together?"

Yu Qi did not refuse.

After leaving the store, go to the right and you will find the main body of the vegetable market.The South Vegetable Market is the largest vegetable market in Tongcheng. Several rows of two-story buildings form a small square.The gate of the South Vegetable Market is facing the Yunhu playground.Passing the fence of the playground is the main entrance of Yunhu Lake, and then turning to the right is the ruins of the South City Gate in the Ming Dynasty. The gate ruins are facing a Taoist temple from the Southern Song Dynasty to the present, and there is a square between the two.Behind the ruins are three or four traditional buildings, which used to be the original site of Tongcheng Shixiao ("My grandfather studied here when he was a child, and Tongcheng Shixiao was called Zhenxing at that time."), and now it is Nanmen Restaurant.A small river flows between the gate of the restaurant and the site of the city gate, and a stone arch bridge connects the two banks.This turned out to be the moat and also the inner canal of ancient Tongcheng.The old house is in the deep alley on the side of the river bank near the restaurant. Opposite the old house, the other side of the river is the teaching building of Yunhu Lake, and you can also see the basketball court.In fact, after the sophomore moved to the second floor of the high school, he could see the balcony on the third floor of the old house in the class.

We walked around the ruins a few times and went back to the shop.A new batch of roast duck is out, and we came just in time.

Yu Qi wanted to buy milk tea, but I stopped him.There is a bit of doubt and grievance in her eyes, I can't see this kind of eyes: "Eat sliced ​​duck for a while, it is oily, and you also drink iced milk tea, the stomach will not be able to bear it."

Yu Qi had no choice but to obediently give up this decision.

The next day, I got up early, had just changed and was about to go to the bathroom to wash up, when I opened the door, I saw Yu Qi standing at the door.She raised her hand as if preparing to knock on the door.Before she knocked, the moment I opened the door, all we saw were each other's shocked faces, and we both laughed out loud after reacting.

She's obviously done washing up, and today she's wearing a white T-shirt and black cropped pants, and I'm wearing a white T-shirt and light blue jeans, which is rare for us to wear similar clothes.She said to me: "I'll go downstairs to prepare breakfast first, come down after you wash up."

Me: "Okay."

Go out to the back door of Yunhu Lake to take the bus to the passenger station, and then take the 45 special line bus to the hospital, which happens to be [-]:[-].We signed up and went to the office of Yu Qi's attending doctor.

As soon as I entered the outpatient hall, I noticed the difference between Qisan and other hospitals.

It's too open.I've never seen a hospital with so few people.The people who came and went were expressionless. From time to time, there were nurses or security guards walking through the hospital with patients in hospital gowns.The waiting area in the lobby has an empty feeling because of the small number of people.

I watched quietly.

The people who come and go are no different from any pedestrian passing by on the street.

We walked to the door of the office on the second floor, waited for a while, and the last patient came out.So we knocked on the door and went in.

This is a separate consultation room, and it is rare to see one consultation room per person in a general hospital.Standing in the middle of the consulting room was a doctor with a cropped head and a pair of glasses. He was in his 40s, tall and thin, with a white shirt under his white coat, which looked a bit bookish.He should have stood up and sent off the last patient.

Seeing Yu Qi, the doctor smiled at us, beckoned us to sit down, and sat down himself.Yu Qi took off the bag on his back and hugged it to his chest when he sat down.

After the doctor saw that we were seated, he smiled and said to Yu Qi, "Why don't you introduce me?"

Yu Qi's right hand started to grab the corner of his clothes again: "Ah, okay, this, this is my good friend, Tao Zhizhao."

The doctor nodded to me, and I quickly said, "Hello."

The doctor smiled and said, "Don't be reserved. My surname is Tan. Yu Qi usually calls me Dr. Tan, and you can do the same as her."

Dr. Tan leaned on the back of the chair, with a relaxed look, and asked, "How do you feel recently?"

Yu Qi pondered for a while, and said, "It's been fine recently. I lost control once this week."

Doctor Tan didn't seem very surprised when he heard this answer.But he corrected his posture, as if thinking about something.After a little while he said, "I remember the last few weeks, we've been doing less of that, haven't we?"

Yu Qi: "That's right."

Dr. Tan: "Did anything happen this week? Was it affected by something? Or was it sudden?"

Yu Qi was silent for a while, then said, "I don't know either."

Dr. Tan: "..."

He signed two checklists to Yu Qi, and said, "You haven't been checked for a long time, and it just happened to be a phased test today. It's on the fourth floor, you know where it is,"

Yu Qi: "Okay." Stand up and leave.I hurriedly prepared to get up, but Dr. Tan said: "Xiao Tao, you stay here, she will go by herself."

May I?I glanced at Yu Qi, she nodded to me and said, "Then you can keep it, I'll go upstairs to check."

I guess, Dr. Tan should have something to tell me.

Dr. Tan watched Yu Qi leave the consulting room, and said to me: "You should have guessed it, I have something to tell you alone. However, it was half a year ago that Yu Qi took the assessment last time, and it is almost time to do it. Her recent state is actually quite poor. Get better."

I could feel it, so I let out a "huh".

Dr. Tan added: "When she came here a year ago, her condition was quite serious. She didn't resist the treatment, but her overall state, it's not an exaggeration to say that she was a walking dead." He paused and said, "At that time , only occasionally when she picks up her mobile phone to read the news, she will have a little human expression."

I know it, but when I talk about it again, I still feel sad, and even feel a little breathless.I dare not think...

Dr. Tan: "She sometimes even self-harmed unconsciously. For a month, we didn't dare to let her touch any metal products. We dared not even give her a mobile phone until someone looked at it. Her hand may now be There are still some very shallow marks, which won't come out unless you look carefully, she scratched it with a plastic spoon." I never noticed it...

Dr. Tan: "You may be the person Yu Qi trusts the most now. Many times, she told me that the things that happened in her life are all related to you. I think you have a lot of weight in Yu Qi's heart. It's heavy."

He paused, and then said: "Yu Qi's condition should be better now. She is mainly suffering from sleep disorders, and the other is psychological disorders." He sighed, and said: "Would you like to tell me Is there tears in your eyes?"

Of course I didn't want to.I almost blurted out: "She is a very gentle person. She used to be in junior high school, and she is still now. She was sometimes cheerful in junior high school, but now..." My voice gradually lowered, "She is Is it because I don’t like myself now? She is very quiet and introverted now, and she can’t always express her thoughts. But even so, she is still very good to people, and she is generous enough to her friends. In fact, no matter what, she is the one who makes people Yu Qi who feels at ease, what does it matter if she is cheerful or silent..." Now I can finally understand the ridicule and disgust that Yu Qi often shows in her eyes, it is for herself.She hates herself.

Dr. Tan: "I'm very happy. I think you're right about what you said about Yu Qi. Yu Qi doesn't believe in herself, she can't be sure of herself, and she doesn't trust the external environment, so she chooses to close herself. I think, If possible, I hope you can always be by her side. It may be very difficult, but it can be said that your existence is the reason why Yu Qi has not completely sealed herself off."

Yu Qi's frequency of going to the hospital is no longer that high. From going every week a year ago to once every two weeks now, her sleep has gradually stabilized, and she no longer often cannot sleep.Even the aunt who came to clean on weekends said that Yu Qi's complexion looked better than before.

The summer vacation is over soon.In September, we officially became high school sophomores.

The author has something to say: I fell asleep at [-] o'clock last night, and woke up at [-] o'clock in the morning...

I'm rushing to work today, and there should be a chapter tomorrow, and then I'm afraid I have to stop updating this weekend, because I have to go to school on Sunday, and I will start offline classes next Monday, so the update will be relatively delayed.

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