Yu weep

Chapter 44

After the new year, Yu Qi seems to be less restrained.Instead of torturing herself with the pain of the past, she tried to let go.

Not for the person who caused the harm, but for yourself.Indulging in the past is torture to yourself, and the person who hurt you will not feel guilty at all.

This is what Dr. Tan said in a conversation with Yu Qi, and Yu Qi is obviously trying to come out now.

Our feelings are not wrong either.Yu Qi was really closing himself up before, if he didn't reveal his true feelings, he wouldn't be hurt if he didn't give his true heart.

What does it feel like to be in high school?

This kind of feeling can never be experienced by others who have said it thousands of times. Only by experiencing it can one feel it.

To say what I feel, I may not feel it.Like every mock exam, I walked into the exam room as usual, waited as usual, and did papers as usual.

But I'm obviously an exception.Even Yu Qi showed a state of abnormal anxiety before the exam.I am amazed.

"You are usually in good condition, you can perform normally, don't worry." I comforted Yu Qi.

She looked more irritable than usual.Dr. Tan gave her psychological counseling for a long time before he managed to calm her down.

"Her failure in the senior high school entrance examination has a great shadow." Dr. Tan told me this way, "subconsciously, she was worried that the consequences of failure would be unbearable for herself, so she appeared anxious."

Consequences of failure.These five words made me think repeatedly.What is Yu Qi worried about?Can't get into the school of your choice?Can't study your favorite major?Can't choose your favorite tutor?still……

Our agreement is to go to Yanda together.Perhaps our agreement was part of her concern?

If it is, if it is... I am very glad that Yu Qi will pay attention to this agreement, she has always been a person who attaches great importance to feelings, but have I caused pressure on her?

I don't think about it, I don't think deeply, I get rid of distracting thoughts and concentrate on preparing for the exam.Only by going all out is the greatest respect for our agreement.

In the sound of cicadas and air conditioners, two days passed by.For the first time, we didn't get together to check the answers when we left the examination room.

After coming out, everyone found their classmates one after another, returned to the class, and shouted heartily. The flying papers were like snowflakes, covering the small square in front of the third floor of the high school. The school leaders watched from downstairs, shaking their heads, laughing and sighing.

Yu Xiaonan rushed into our class.Their class is next door, we just saw her hugging every female classmate in the corridor, she rushed in and gave Fang Kexin and me a big hug.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh finally! Finally!" There was an unconcealable joy on her face.She rushed in front of Yu Qi, raised her hands, and suddenly realized that it was Yu Qi in front of her.

"Ah," Yu Xiaonan was just about to put down his hands, Yu Qi looked at her, then at me, pursed his lips, stretched out his hands, and hugged Yu Xiaonan vaguely.

"!!" Everyone looked surprised.Yunling came from the next class and also saw this scene.

"You..." Yun Ling's expression was complicated.Yu Qi looked relieved.

"Can I give you a hug?" Yu Qi asked Yunling like this.

"Of course." Yun Ling looked surprised, but did not refuse.

Yu Qi hesitated for a longer time, obviously made up his mind, he asked the question, but he hesitated.

Yunling waited patiently for her.

She finally made up her mind and stretched out her arms to hug Yun Ling.Unlike hugging Yu Xiaonan in vain, she hugged Yunling firmly and firmly.Yun Ling's face was gentle, as if she was feeling emotional, she hugged Yu Qi back.

Yu Qi is really slowly making changes.I realized this and was very relieved.

They embraced, Yunling smiled slowly, and when the hug ended, Yunling said, "Happy birthday."

?

Happy birthday?

Today is Yu Qi's birthday!

After thinking about it carefully, I realized that I really didn't know Yu Qi's birthday.And Yu Qi never told us her birthday.

The only ones who knew about her birthday were those boys and Yun Ling, who she called her "best friend" in elementary school.But Yun Ling didn't say it before, and you obviously can't expect boys to remember these things, so I didn't think to ask Yu Qi's birthday once.

Probably because my birthday is often during the summer vacation, and every birthday is celebrated at home, and the option of celebrating my birthday with my classmates has never appeared in my mind.

Yu Qi himself never mentioned his birthday.She probably hates her own birth... I remember that she once said to Dr. Tan: "It would be fine if I hadn't been born."

But this is not true.

"...Tao Zhizhao?" Jiang You interrupted my thinking.

"What are you thinking?" She asked me, without waiting for my answer, she said, "Do you want to hug Yu Qi?"

I looked at Yu Qi, and Fang Kexin was pulling her sleeve at the moment, saying something with a moved face.Fang Kexin is an enthusiastic person who likes to worry, otherwise she would not have volunteered to be the class monitor for the past three years.We have been acquainted with each other for a long time because of the post bar incident, and Yu Qi can arouse her desire to protect, so at this moment, Yu Qi opened the door of her heart and took a step outside, which also excited her very much, and pulled Yu Qi Qian It's not surprising that you are exhorted.

Instead of replying to Jiang You directly, I asked back, "What about you?"

Jiang You froze for a moment, then smiled and said, "I'll let it go. The way I get along with Yu Qi is not suitable."

Thinking about it this way, it’s true that she and Yu Qi’s daily way of getting along is to dislike each other and become father and son—Jiang You is really an indebted person. When teasing Yu Qi, he always calls himself "Dad" to Yu Qi.

Yu Qi...Of course Yu Qi wouldn't call her that. At times like this, she would usually say "unfilial son" helplessly.

Fang Kexin let go of Yu Qi.Yu Qi walked over to me and Jiang You, took a look at Jiang You, was very disgusted, and punched her.Jiang You laughed loudly and said, "There is no need to hug between us father and son!"

Yu Qi nodded: "Indeed, I am kind to you and filial, so it is true that you don't need it."

Us: "Hahahahahaha!"

Jiang You glared at Yu Qi, but also smiled.

Yu Qi walked up to me, looking a little nervous.

I laughed too, and looked at her: "What's the matter? Why don't you give me a hug?"

She: "How come! I, I..."

Jiang You: "She is cowardly!"

Yu Qi: "Bah!"

I looked at the two elementary school students with a smirk: "What's so cowardly?"

I opened my arms, Yu Qi's ears were a little red, but she still hugged me, and I hugged her back.Yu Qi's limbs were very stiff, and the whole portrait seemed to be frozen in one frame.She's been a little ridiculously thin lately, and I can feel her bones.

Until I let go, I have an inexplicable feeling.It's like... It's like this person who can fall when the wind blows can give me all the support.

Of course, I didn't think at that time that this feeling was not an illusion, but a real existence.

After a day or two of noise and partying, everyone starts thinking about what to do for the summer.

I thought about it, and said in our small group: "My brother opened a farmhouse in Guide. Maybe during the summer vacation, do you want to come and play together?"

Everyone said: "Okay!" Jiang You said that he might have to wait until he came back from the trip to make an appointment.

We asked her: "Where with whom?"

Jiang You: "I'm going to the Southwest for a week with Mei Feng's friends, so I may have to make an appointment when I come back."

We: "...you move so fast!"

Yu Qi finally appeared: "I'm afraid I can't."

I:"?"

Us: "Do you have arrangements too?"

Yu Qi: "Yes, I'm planning to take a tour of the country."

Me: "Are you alone?"

Yu Qi: "Yes."

We all felt a little concerned: "Are you safe on your own? Really? Is your body allowing it?"

Yu Qi: "I will stay in larger cities and try to go to places with a lot of people."

Me: "It's so sudden."

Yu Qi: "I've been thinking about it for a while, but I haven't made a decision. In the early hours of yesterday, I saw the starry sky in the field posted by someone, so I made up my mind and wanted to go around the country."

Yunling: "Don't go to remote places, report safety when you arrive in a new place."

Yu Qi: "Yes, I will."

I pursed my lips.After thinking about it, I asked again: "How long are you going? When will you come back? Don't miss the registration."

Yu Qi: "Okay."

Once Yu Qi has the power to act, his efficiency will be very high.She told us that she made up her mind yesterday and she will leave tomorrow.She plans to fly to the grasslands in the north first, to see the sky that makes her heart flutter.

A small suitcase, a backpack, a cane we insisted she bring, and a full month's worth of medication.

Her ability to take care of herself is very strong, so we don't worry about it, it's mainly because of safety issues, so all I have to tell her is to pay attention to safety.

Fortunately, Yu Qi also listened.Her mobile phone's location is turned on, and she bought a locator, which we can check at any time.

This is a little reassuring.

Unknowingly, a month passed, during which Jiang You traveled happily, but when he came back, he seemed a little disappointed.

We asked her worriedly, but she just shook her head and said, "It's okay."

We don't know why.But we made an appointment to play in Guide for a while, and Jiang You didn't refuse.

When she was in Guide, Jiang You seemed to be getting better; after a month, she became the original Jiang You again.

A month later, our results came out.We can all go to the school of our choice.

Yunling chose psychology at Yan Normal University; Yu Xiaonan went to Yanhang; Fang Kexin and Jiang You both went to National People's Congress, Fang Kexin studied economics, and Jiang You chose sociology.

I successfully applied for law at Yanda University, and Yu Qi also applied for Chinese language at Yanda University. We both entered the school of our dreams.

So everyone discovered that we all seemed to have attended Yanjing's school.Everyone cheers for that.

We asked Yu Qi, "Aren't you back yet?"

Yu Qi: "I want it, I will come back to receive the notification."

When I came back to receive the notice... I asked again, "Are you finished?"

Yu Qi: "I want to go to country J."

Country J is an island country in the east, not far from us, but...

We: "...not good, is it really okay to go abroad alone?"

Yu Qi: "I think it's okay, but I think you guys think there's a problem..."

We: "What do you think?!"

At any rate, Yu Qi gave up the idea of ​​traveling alone in country J, but after receiving the notice, he started to travel freely in the country again.

And our school start time is different, Yu Xiaonan is the earliest, going to military training in mid-August, while Yu Qi, Fang Kexin and Jiang You are in early September, Yunling is the latest, and school starts in mid-September.

So we were not able to report together, but reported separately.

My parents and Brother Hui both wanted to send me off. I thought about it and asked Yu Qi, "How do you report it?"

Yu Qi: "I sent the big things over, and I pulled a box and flew there by myself."

Me: "Isn't Uncle Liang with you?"

Yu Qi: "I was on the same day as Liang, and he was in Gucheng." Gucheng, one south and one north, is true.

Me: "Are we together?"

Yu Qi: "No more?"

I know about this kind of question, once Yu Qi has denied it the first time, the second, third, fourth and fifth times will still give the same answer.So give up.

After careful calculation, I haven't seen Yu Qi for almost three months.In the past three months, she has not stayed in Tongcheng for more than two weeks.

To see her, I'm afraid I have to wait until the university starts.

The author has something to say: the high school chapter ends here, and the university chapter follows.

I believe everyone should be able to see that the author of the high school article is very difficult to write.

Coupled with the sudden start of school, it was almost a month off, I am really sorry.

Now that I am back, it should resume the speed of about one update in two days.

So sorry, and, thanks again!

Spoiler view of crying tears 2

The days of the third year of junior high school were really difficult for Yu Qi.Grandpa was already in poor health and had been hospitalized for a long time. On New Year's Eve, he finally got better. When they returned to the old house, those two people brought a lot of shit to Grandpa.Grandpa was so out of breath that he was sent to the hospital in an emergency.

Yu Qi followed to the hospital, she looked out the window, there were faint fireworks in the distance, and there were patients and doctors watching the Spring Festival Gala in the ward.

Even in the hospital, a family with a united heart can spend a reunion year together.

What about yourself?Yu Qi was at a loss.Grandpa's condition is very bad. The doctor's original order was to calm the patient's mind. According to the previous doctor's order, it only took a year or two.After that?Where is the way home?

Yu Qi feels that he is a ship departing from the port with no return and no route, wandering alone.

Before he knew it, his thoughts went to a distant place, and Yu Qi suddenly thought of Tao Zhizhao.There is no news of Tao Zhizhao yet.

She said she had a little confidence in her, Yu Qi smiled self-deprecatingly, and took out his phone to look again.

Where is the lack of confidence in her?

Yu Qi gradually found that when he was chatting with Tao Zhizhao, he felt a little relaxed.That person is obviously very gentle, but he always uses coldness to cover up his inner concern.Because of this, Yu Qi can't help but tease others.Obviously it's just some trivial matter, but it's like quarreling with the other elementary school student.

Yu Qi smiled, and suddenly a trace of uneasiness flashed in his heart.

Something is wrong.Something is very wrong.So close, this distance.Yu Qi suddenly realized this.

She fell into thinking and hesitation.

The countdown bell began to ring, and it was twelve o'clock.

Yu Qi took out his mobile phone and didn't send a message to anyone, but received a lot of messages, most of them just sent one.Yu Qi looked at the phone, and a red dot with "1" popped up next to Tao Zhizhao's profile picture.

After a while it became "2".

Isn't it mass hair?Yu Qi became curious, clicked in to read the content, laughed a little, and then returned to her after a while.Now that I replied to the message, I can't ignore the previous message, so I simply replied to them all.

Later she called, but Yu Qi didn't expect it.She couldn't help but told her grandpa about it.

There is one advantage of being across the phone, that is, you don't need to be seen by the other party in your embarrassment, and you don't need to see the other party's pity.

Sure enough, the other party cared more about him, but it was difficult for Yu Qi to put himself in a cold shell.She had to take a break after every get out of class, and she didn't need to blow the other party's hair with a fan during class, and stopped all conversations that had nothing to do with study, so as to avoid more contact with the other party.

Tao Zhizhao should have noticed it, she looked at her with worry in her eyes.Yu Qi felt very irritable, she knew that such a sudden alienation, even if she used being tired as an excuse, would hurt the other party.

But always stop the loss in time, before the relationship gets better.If you get too close, you will definitely lose it, and the damage will be even greater by then.

Yu Qi didn't want to bear this kind of pain, nor did he want the other party to bear it.

During the typhoon, Yu Qi still couldn't restrain his care and concern.

It was very windy and windy, and Tao Zhizhao never had the habit of carrying an umbrella with him.She wouldn't take it if it was given directly to her.Tongcheng is a coastal city, and typhoons are very powerful in summer. Almost once or twice a year, roads are flooded and trees are broken.This typhoon is obviously that serious.

Naturally, Yu Qi couldn't just watch Tao Zhizhao go back unprepared.She sighed in her heart, but she was still loose after all.

She is so thin, what if she gets blown away?What if you get hurt?

Yu Qi thought, she is a friend after all, how could I turn a blind eye and let her go home in this kind of wind and rain?

The body finally succumbed to consciousness, and she was shaken.

Tao Zhizhao and his own efforts were finally not in vain.Looking at the rankings, Yu Qi knew that the goal Tao Zhizhao had been working so hard for had been achieved.

Guaranteed eligibility.

Tao Zhizhao's "selfishness" Yu Qi has not guessed, but is it really just Tao Zhizhao's selfishness?The moment he saw the results, the corners of his mouth raised unnaturally, Yu Qi knew that this was not just Tao Zhizhao's selfishness.I am not entirely selfless.

Admit it, Yu Qi, you want to go to Yunhu Lake with Tao Zhizhao.

Yu Qi knew that he had started to have extravagant expectations that he shouldn't have.What she should avoid, the closer she gets, the more uncontrollable her heart becomes.

When did it start?Yu Qi's thoughts slowly turned back, and suddenly a moment was frozen in his mind.

In the early morning of Tongcheng, the morning light is twilight, and the girl is smiling brightly at herself in the shadow of the swaying trees and the sunlight passing through the branches and leaves.

Did the self at that time smile in return?Yu Qi didn't know.

That day was the Geography and Biology Examination.The night before that, Yu Qi was tossing and turning on the bed, and downstairs was the familiar sound of throwing things and cursing.She couldn't bear it anymore, and said to the two people downstairs: "I thought I said that I have an exam tomorrow."

Yu Zhanpeng obviously had a drink again, he dropped a glass: "We are your parents! How did you talk to your parents?!" He picked up the belt hanging on the coat rack in front of the door, and came up with a swipe .

Chen Lan was obviously also angry, she took the broom in the corner, took the pole up and gave Yu Qi a blow: "You came out of my stomach! How can you talk like that!"

Yu Qi showed no expression and remained silent.The silence angered the two of them even more, or, in fact, they just wanted to vent their anger, and it didn't matter what Yu Qi's reaction was.

By the time Yu Qi returned to the room covered in bruises, it was already one o'clock in the morning.

At least it's quiet.Yu Qi comforted himself.After venting their anger, the two of them calmed down and went to drink and play cards. They probably won't come back tonight if there is no accident.Yu Qi lay on the bed and fell asleep in a daze. He vaguely felt that he was not asleep when the bell rang.

When they came to the school gate, they met Tao Zhizhao head-on. They were not in the same examination room, so they just said hello at the school gate.

It is so dazzling, like the sun.In Yuqi in the dark, it is hard not to look forward to that ray of light.

But soon she didn't have the heart to think about it. When she was sent home, there were a lot of people gathered in the house.Yu Qi was surprised.

Grandpa left two hours ago.

When he learned about it, Yu Qi felt that his soul had gone with his grandfather.

Am I finally homeless?Am I finally all alone in the world?

Fortunately, it's Saturday, so I don't have to go to school the next day.Yu Qi knelt in the mourning hall for a day, and said the words to his grandfather in his heart.

On Sunday night, she had to go to rest, and she had to go to school the next day.

In the last class before the exam, the teachers more or less said something for themselves.Yu Qi lowered his head, feeling very bewildered.

Is it really worth caring about yourself?Do you really have something worth caring about?Even grandpa has already left, what else in the world can I care about?

She soon found out.When she got out of the examination room for the high school entrance examination, she faintly felt that she could not perform well.After sending off her grandfather, at home, while dealing with news from her brothers and Tao Zhizhao, she spent every day in a daze.

Those two people got worse, and when grandpa left, they had no scruples, and finally they simply divorced.After the divorce, Yu Zhanpeng drank heavily every day, so Yu Qi was beaten by him every day with excuses.

After the results were finally released, she saw her own results.

Can't read Yunhu anymore.The promise with Tao Zhizhao can't be fulfilled either.She sat on the bed and looked at the light and shadow outside the window, from bright to dark, from dark to bright.I fell asleep without knowing it.

When he woke up, he was already in the hospital.Then, she took care of her family affairs and was transferred to Qisan Hospital.

In fact, she herself felt something was wrong to some extent.She knew about her personality changes.Diagnosis is nothing more than confirming one's own guesses.

In Qisan Hospital, she cooperated with the doctor's treatment and also thought about a problem.

Tao Zhizhao had already seen her worst side, and she didn't leave her, and she didn't even show the slightest bit of impatience or disgust.

Just treat yourself as selfish.Selfishly regard the other party as their own desire to live.

Tao Zhizhao is willing to regard himself as his best friend, and that is enough.If I maintain my status as best friend, this relationship will always be two-way and stable.There is no need to be alienated, and don't get close anymore, it's good to get along peacefully like this.

Tao Zhizhao moved to live with her at home, and Yu Qi was very happy, but she didn't show it.

She was also very nervous, the distance was too close, so close that she was afraid that she would not be able to control her heart.

He clearly knew that he should stay away.But she really couldn't refuse Tao Zhizhao's happiness of living under the same roof with her, and reason lost out to emotion.

Tao Zhizhao was really like a piece of honey wrapped in poison to herself. She knew that after tasting the sweetness, she would be greeted with pain, but she still couldn't help it.

Likes make people lose their minds.Yu Qi felt that this sentence was too reasonable.

Her sanity came back the next day.Yun Ling became his front desk.

Yu Qi felt that this world was really ridiculous.

The cause of her dispute with Yun Ling was the choice of junior high school.Yun Ling refused to allow herself to study Xindu with her, and insisted that Yunhu was better.

To be honest, Yunling is gentle and considerate, she thinks of herself in everything, she is really a good person.

But Yu Qi unknowingly fell in love with Yun Ling, and wanted more care and attention. In her opinion, Yun Ling's thoughtfulness turned into lack of desire to explore, that is, not caring enough. Yu Qi knew that she was too greedy.

She chose not to contact Yun Ling to calm herself down. Yun Ling didn't know why, but also chose to fight coldly, which lasted for a year and a half.

Participating in the dictation competition, in the eyes of Yu Qi now, is more like wanting to end it, wanting to say goodbye, rather than rebuilding it.

She didn't know how to treat Yun Ling, let alone how to get along with Yun Ling.But Yunling still seems to regard herself as a friend.

But yes, I have always been just Yunling's friend.

To make matters worse, he and Tao Zhizhao were at the same table, and Tao Zhizhao had heard what he said at the gate of Shihu.

Yu Qi has four big heads, and the things that he was obsessed with in the past have come true when he let go.

Yu Qi felt that he should greet his damn fate.

The author has something to say: This is a side story from Xiao Yu's perspective that was written before.The main text of the high school part ended in the previous chapter. Logically speaking, I should have opened the third volume, but you may be able to see that I wrote the second volume intermittently, and Caven was very serious.I deleted, deleted, and revised the third volume, but I was not satisfied with it, and I also felt that there was a problem with the connection.Might have to clear my mind.

After considering whether to overhaul the full text, alas.