I want to cover up the tide

If it was said that Lin Yan still had certain hopes and fantasies about Lu Qinan before, after being kicked out by him, the only remaining feeling he had for Lu Qinan was disgust.

It was this man who led him to get involved in so many right and wrong, and all these desperate things were inseparably related to Lu Qinan.

When Zhang Qirui injected him with drugs, as well as Lu Xin's threats and warnings, all these strange behaviors, Lin Yanba's memory fragments were always pieced together, and he roughly figured it out.

Although the ways of the two were very strange, Lin Yan still guessed the real reason behind their strange behaviors - Zhang Qirui and Lu Xin probably both liked Lu Qinan since they were young.

Because his appearance attracted Lu Qinan's attention, they were unbalanced in their hearts, but was there any way for him to attack Lu Qinan, so he became the lamb to be punished, and became the target of Zhang Qirui's vent and revenge.

After he was injected with drugs, although Zhang Qinan was very angry, he did not do anything to Zhang Qirui. This is probably because of the greatest helplessness of the members of the big family?No matter how angry he is, he can't use the entire Lu family's rights according to his own situation. This is Lu Qinan.

He is always rational and will not do things impulsively because of emotions that make him regret for life.

No matter how angry Lu Qinan was, he wouldn't make fun of Lu Shi. He kept all his anger and unwillingness in his heart. Maybe this was the reason why his mania couldn't heal for a long time, Lin Yan thought sadly in his heart.

During the time when he lived in the hospital before, when Lu Qinan mentioned Zhang Qirui, there was clearly a little murderous intent in his eyes, but every time Lu Qinan would force himself to suppress the anger in his heart - Lin Yan knew very well that Lu Qinan had to take care of To the forces behind Zhang Qirui.

Firstly, Lu Qinan is not yet the master of the family, and he has to take care of the overall situation; thirdly, maybe he is not worthy of him turning against people like Zhang Qirui and Lu Xin at all - but they are just people he likes casually, and he is tired of playing Just kick it away, like a dog.

Originally, he had no intention of caring about the interests of these big families, but in the middle of these interests, it was difficult for Lin Yan to not notice it.

He is not a stunned young man who is ignorant of the world, he has spent so many years in the university, and Lin Yan thinks he still has a clear understanding of what is going on in the society.

It's nothing new for young men in high society to play with men, but these things happened to him, which made Lin Yan a little confused and self-deprecating.

He really doesn't have anything special to attract those elders and young men. In the final analysis, the reason why Lu Qinan fell in love with him was because of that ridiculous one-night stand.

There is no guarantee for the relationship between men and men, let alone these young and old men whose identities, status, and knowledge are far from their own.

Lin Yan no longer dared to have any hope for Lu Qinan, even if Lu Qinan was sincere to him, he would not dare to be involved in these right and wrong again.What happened this time made him completely scared.

There was only one sincerity, and he took it out wholeheartedly, and it made Lin Yan suffer so much for such a ridiculous end.

His wish is very small, he just wants to be an ordinary person and have an ordinary life of his own.

Every morning when I wake up, I can see the sleeping face of my same-sex lover, and I can have a sweet good morning kiss when I wake up in the morning. Both of them have each other's work and share housework together. This is already the best.

Originally thought that Lu Qinan could give him such a comfortable life, originally thought that they could live a small and happy life, but never thought that everything was just his dream, and everything was just the whim of that superior young master of the Lu family.

Lin Yan didn't dare to believe that Lu Qinan still had any feelings for him. In the sentence he yelled: "Get out of here!", her heart was still completely broken.

When he saw Lu Qinan leaning down to kiss Lu Xin, his heart was already dead and completely shattered.

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After leaving Lu Qinan's villa, Lin Yan took a taxi and went straight back to his home.

He wants to leave that place, far away.He wanted to remove Lu Qinan from his life, even if it was a convulsion of heartache - because that place has been badly hurt by him now, the only way to recover is to completely remove all feelings for him.

Nothing at home has changed. When he was picked up by someone sent by Lu Zhi a few days ago, he had a vague premonition that he would return here soon, but it really came true.

This kind of coincidence made Lin Yan dumbfounded.

He has always been a person who goes with the situation, since the previous relationship has evolved into that situation, the most important thing right now is to live alone, take care of himself, and negotiate with Lu Qinan again as soon as possible, so that he can bring back his parents who are being treated in the United States.

No matter how expensive the medical expenses are, selling the house should still raise a sum of money. With his savings over the years and his parents' savings, Lin Yan believes that his family will be able to repay the money owed to Lu Qinan.

He didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore, he just wanted to live a peaceful life in peace in the future.

He doesn't have any lofty ambitions, he just wants to be a man who can make his family live a good life by his own efforts.

Thinking of this, Lin Yan couldn't wait to turn on the computer and continue the half-finished translation work.

Before that, he was worried about Lu Qinan's safety every day in the villa, so he didn't have time to do any work at all.Recently, the work he has received from the publishing house has been several times that of the past. Although the editor was a little doubtful about whether he could finish it on time, he still gave him the amount requested. Now it seems that if he does not hurry up, he will not be able to deliver on time. drafted.

In the past, Lu Qinan always asked him to translate less, always saying that such a long time facing the computer would hurt his eyes too much, and it would not be good for Lin Yan's health...

At that time, Lin Yan didn't have any extra thoughts to think about why Lu Qinan cared about him so much, but now that he thought about it, there was nothing else in his heart except bitterness.Maybe Lu Qinan cared about him sincerely at that time, Lin Yan didn't want to deny this, after all, they had so many sweet and warm moments.

Those nagging words seemed to still be in his ears, but now he had to tell himself that all of that was an illusion, Lu Qinan didn't fall in love with him, it was just a little interest.

After tidying up her emotions, Lin Yan no longer thought about anything about Lu Qinan, and concentrated on translating that academic paper on physics.No matter how intense that person's feelings were, he still couldn't give himself a reassuring future, not to mention that he was just playing around for a while, and had no so-called feelings at all.

Now, he doesn't like himself anymore, and he wants to be with Lu Xin, he can tell himself to go away so indifferently, what else can he not do?

Lin Yan just secretly rejoiced that she hadn't fallen completely, didn't love him to the point where she couldn't live without him.

——————————————————————————————————

Time flies by at work. After spending the whole night translating on the computer, when Lin Yan looked up at the cheap alarm clock he bought in the afternoon, he suddenly realized that it was already five o'clock in the morning.

This is already the fifth day he left the Lu family villa, and the tenth meal he ate - he is very regular now, 24 hours a day, a pack of instant noodles every half a day when he is awake, and he doesn't know anything when he is asleep .

In order not to wrong her stomach, Lin Yan bought several five packs of different flavors in the supermarket.

After working in front of the computer for most of the day, my back hurts, especially my shoulders.In the past, Lu Qinan would massage him. Although he didn't learn any special massage techniques, Lu Qinan's hands are big and strong. Every time he presses him twice, the stiff muscles on his shoulders can quickly relax. There was no problem at all when I continued to translate the next day.

But now, the pain is still pain.

Shaking his head, shaking off all kinds of thoughts in his mind, Lin Yan got up hungry and went to make a bag of instant noodles.

Junk food, which he hated so much at first, is simply the ultimate delicacy in the world in his eyes—not to mention eating it with relish, he also drank up the instant noodle soup.

He didn't like these nutritious instant foods very much before, but now, it seems that this is indeed one of the great inventions of the twentieth century.It can save human time so much that it can shorten the time for eating to 5 minutes, and only need to wash one bowl.

When Lin Yan went to the kitchen after eating, he suddenly found that the sky had already started to light up, and he could vaguely see some sparse crowds on the road through the window.

City T has always been such a bustling city, even in this inconspicuous community, the people who come and go are full of vigor.

I have worked so hard and tried so hard to live, but what is the purpose of living?What's the point of living?

For parents?

So what about yourself?

Lin Yan asked himself, but couldn't find any answer.He stood by the bed and stared blankly for a while, but he couldn't resist his tiredness after all, so he went back to the bedroom and fell asleep on the bed.