presumptuous!I was wrong

Shikong was not feeling well, he barely supported the wall to go out, and was blown by the cool wind, he felt his mind cleared up a lot, but his body began to feel uncomfortable again.

His whole body was as hot as a stove, and he wanted to explode, making him want to release, want to vent, want to vent his body's emotions. This violent and unbearable feeling made him unable to vent, but it was suffocating and uncomfortable.

Zhao Chuge, who was walking in front, found that time and space were not right, and wanted to help him, but time and space quickly avoided, he knew what was wrong with him, and now letting Zhao Chuge touch him is courting death.

"I'm fine, let someone take me home." Shikong squatted on the ground and rubbed his head, resisting the fire and standing up, it must be the apple's problem, and he doesn't know if it was intentional or not.

Zhao Chuge looked at it for a while and understood what was going on, and asked, "Do you want me to find someone for you?"

"No need." Shi Kong's entire face flushed red, and his voice was trembling, "Just send someone to take me home."

Bai Yueguang saw the crooked appearance of time and space in the car, and immediately wanted to get out of the car, but stopped when he opened the door.

Time and space must not want to see him.

Lu Shengping hugged Zhao Chuge and got into another car, Shikong wanted to blow some air outside to wake up, Zhao Chuge wanted to stay here with him, but was coaxed and tricked by Lu Shengping and Shikong into the car.

Zhao Chuge couldn't keep his eyes open for a long time, and fell asleep leaning on Lu Shengping as soon as he got in the car, but subconsciously he was still worried about time and space, and even dreamed of the days in the mental hospital.

He jumped up from the seat with a "bass", and then successfully hit his head, Lu Shengping didn't stop him.

When Lu Shengping asked him what was wrong, Zhao Chuge said nothing with flickering eyes, he didn't want to tell Lu Shengping that he had been in a mental hospital, he wanted to be normal.

Zhao Chuge's wish is very simple, he just wants to make himself look normal, but every time it is self-defeating.He didn't say that he really hated Lu Shengping looking at him with that caring look, which would make him feel that he was terminally ill and hopeless, although it was true.

Seeing that Zhao Chuge's mood suddenly fell, Lu Shengping didn't know what he had done wrong. Zhao Chuge didn't say anything, but he thought about it carefully. As a result, there was a silence in the car.

After Zhao Chuge left, Shikong leaned against the station for a while, his fists were clenched so tightly that his palm was punctured.He looked down, stuck out his tongue and licked the corner of his mouth, feeling really happy.

"You go, don't follow me, I'll go back by myself." Shi Kong said to the person who sent him off.

The man hesitated for a while, Shi Kong yelled at him a few times before leaving.

He walked alone on the street for a while, the cool wind blowing on his body didn't cool him down much, it just got hotter and hotter, he found a bench and sat down, looked up at the night sky.

Human beings are like this starry sky, thousands of people of the same kind are lonely, because it is very difficult to find the real "kinds of people", and you may not be able to find them if you are busy all your life, and you may even be kicked by someone.

Shikong is like Zhao Chuge, living in the world with no interest, can't find any hope, doing nothing but busy.

Zhao Chuge was busy seeing a doctor.

He was busy seeing doctors and raising children.

Bai Yueguang followed him all the time, watching him staggeringly walk, feeling uncomfortable and guilty.

Time and space turned around and saw Bai Yueguang, but couldn't see the face clearly, he said, "Why are you following me?"

Bai Yueguang didn't dare to let him see himself, but he still stepped out of the shadows, allowing Shi Kong to see his appearance clearly.

Shi Kong was a little stunned for a moment when he saw him, but soon realized that this was not an illusion, he didn't know whether he should say hello, after all, he is not qualified, isn't he.

In the end, he rolled his eyes, and decided to pretend he didn't see him, and walked forward alone, since he was used to loneliness anyway.

"Time and space." Bai Yueguang called him.

Time and space didn't look back, if he could, he wanted to give up his name, anyway, there is no place for him in this world, it doesn't matter what he is called.

The more Zhao Chuge thought about it, the more worried he became, so he called Shikong.

"Well, I'm almost home, take a good rest, don't let Mr. Lu worry about you, I'm fine, I'll send you a message when I get home."

After hanging up the phone, Shikong felt extremely irritable. The feeling that there is no way out except death made him want to go crazy, want to walk into the middle of the road and let a car hit him to death, want to jump off a high-rise building, want to Cut your own arteries with a blade...

He is exactly the same as Zhao Chuge, and has never been normal, but he is better at disguising than Zhao Chuge, and he is very successful in pretending that he is a normal person.

He pulled out the SIM card, then threw the phone viciously into the road. A car passed by, and the phone was shattered into pieces.

The body is getting more and more uncomfortable, he wants to resist, but he can't do anything, just like being alive, he can't do anything.

Bai Yueguang ran over from behind and hugged him, Shi Kong's back pressed against his chest, making him greedy for the warmth.

But at the same time, he was sober, once he was greedy for something, he would definitely lose it.

So he struggled hard, and finally pulled out the dagger from his waist before threatening Bai Yueguang to let him go.

"Mr. Bai, we haven't seen each other for a long time, it's better to keep a distance." Shi Kong said, "I won't appear in front of you in the future, don't worry."

"Time and space..." Bai Yueguang wanted to grab his hand.

Shi Kong opened his palm and cut his palm with a dagger, blood gushing out, he was very happy, finally found an outlet to vent his emotions all night, that's great.

He has a tendency to self-harm, but he hasn't done it for a long time, and now he has found that feeling again, which is great.

Bai Yueguang was frightened by his actions, but Shikong ignored him, dragged his bleeding hand and walked forward, and before leaving, he turned his head and said to Bai Yueguang: "Don't follow me, and don't see each other in the future, never see you again."

Bai Yueguang sat on the bench where Shikong sat, and also looked at the starry sky.

The emotional matter is really incomprehensible, he can't do what he wants to do, he looks at the blood on the ground in a daze, and finally calls Lu Shengping, hoping to learn about time and space through Zhao Chuge.

Because there are very few spatio-temporal data that can be found, and they are all hidden, or simply say that there is nothing, there is nothing.

At this time, Lu Shengping was coaxing Zhao Chuge to eat, but Zhao Chuge refused to eat after he came back, and he didn't want to eat when he was in a bad mood, and he only ate a few mouthfuls of fried rice with eggs.

"I don't want to eat, I want to sleep!" Zhao Chuge walked towards the bedroom angrily, Lu Shengping wanted to stop him, but didn't dare, fearing that Zhao Chuge would be even more angry.

It just so happened that Bai Yueguang called at this time, and Lu Shengping went to answer the phone, but Zhao Chuge became even angrier when he saw that Lu Shengping ignored him!

The bedroom door slammed down with a "bang", and then remembered that this was not his house, so he opened the door again, and then saw that Lu Shengping was still answering the phone, without looking at himself.

unhappy.

Zhao Chuge felt aggrieved, but couldn't say anything, it was his own doing, no one to blame.

Lu Shengping spoke nicely to him, but he always played himself to death. One day when Lu Shengping was completely bored, he would be happy, and he deserved it.

Lu Shengping didn't think much about it, he just thought that it would be good for Zhao Chuge to go back to sleep, anyway, it was so late, thinking that Zhao Chuge just slammed the door just because he asked him to eat more...

After chatting with Bai Yueguang for a few words, Lu Shengping hung up the phone, cleaned up all the leftovers on the table, and cleaned up the kitchen before going into the bedroom, but he didn't expect that the person who was supposed to be asleep was sitting by the bed and playing with his mobile phone.

"Why don't you sleep, aren't you sleepy?" Lu Shengping went to the bed and rubbed Zhao Chuge's hair, "Is there something uncomfortable?"

"No." Zhao Chuge shook his head vigorously and shook his hand away, and asked, "Do you have anything else to do?"

"Nothing."

After getting an affirmative answer, Zhao Chuge covered the quilt and said sullenly, "Sleep!"

Lu Shengping rubbed his nose, wondering where he had offended this ancestor again, thinking about it, could it be that he was hungry?But not long after eating.

But he still asked uncertainly: "Honey? Are you hungry?"

"No! Get lost!" Zhao Chuge covered his head with the quilt and ignored him.

"Then what's wrong? Thirsty? Want to eat fruit? Stomach pain?" Lu Shengping asked several questions, Zhao Chuge was annoyed by him, and shouted, "Can you shut up!"

"..." Well, Zhao Chuge is the only one who dares to shut up the boss.

Zhao Chuge's boredom lasted until the next morning. The symptom was that he didn't eat breakfast, didn't want to wash up, just wanted to sleep, and didn't want to talk to others. He was also aggressive because he beat Lu Shengping.

The consequence was that Lu Shengping was fine, he had his own fetal gas...

Lu Shengping was so scared that he couldn't care about anything, so he called Song Wenjing up. After the examination, he prescribed some medicine and gave him an infusion.Then it’s still the same thing, don’t get angry, don’t exercise vigorously, eat delicious food, pay attention to nutrition…

When Song Wenjing left, Lu Shengping looked at him, still not understanding how he had offended him, as if he hadn't done anything.

Lu Shengping didn't dare to ask, he was afraid that Zhao Chuge would lose his temper after asking, so he could only think by himself, but thinking couldn't delay Zhao Chuge's meal, Lu Shengping saw Zhao Chuge fell asleep, so he went to the kitchen to make some porridge.

Zhao Chuge woke up not long after, and when he saw no one in the room, he became depressed again.

He actually understands his own psychology, he longs for caring but rejects it, he longs for Lu Shengping to treat him well, but he also hates how Lu Shengping treats him as a patient, and he has always been worried about Lu Shengping's disregard for going abroad many years ago, so He couldn't enjoy this kind of hard-won care with peace of mind, because maybe one day Lu Shengping would leave again.

The ones he liked and the ones he loved all left.

So he was afraid, this kind of entangled psychology made him want to find an outlet to vent, but he couldn't find it, except self-mutilation.

When people's emotions can't find an outlet, even if they don't have self-harm thoughts and behaviors, they will unconsciously map their emotions to the body. For example, they may cut a hand when they are angry...

And Zhao Chuge obviously belonged to the person who took the initiative to find an exit.

Thinking of this, Zhao Chuge looked around, pulled out the needle on his hand, then went to the bathroom with bare feet, and found a blade in an abandoned corner.

After hesitating for a while, Zhao Chuge looked at the previous wound on his wrist. There were still traces, but it was not completely clean. It should be easier to cut it from here.

He showed a weird smile in front of the mirror, lowered his head and was about to cut it off, when an exclamation came from the door: "Zhao Chuge!"

Zhao Chuge was taken aback, and the blades were thrown on the ground. Lu Shengping ran over, kicked the blades aside, checked Zhao Chuge carefully from top to bottom, and breathed a sigh of relief after confirming that there was no wound.

Carrying him out, Lu Shengping anxiously called Song Wenjing over again, checked his physical condition and gave him another infusion, Song Wenjing withdrew, leaving the room for the two of them.

"You can tell me what I did wrong that makes you feel uncomfortable, you must tell me, don't hold back, you can beat me and scold me, if you feel uncomfortable, hit me, don't do dangerous things, okay? " Lu Shengping had already used a pleading tone, "Didn't we agree before that you would not do dangerous things, why did you forget? Shouldn't we keep our promise?"

Zhao Chuge was completely irritated by his last sentence, his eyes were red, he roared: "You said you would keep your promise, what about you? Have you kept your promise?" Didn't he leave alone back then, what was agreed To accompany me, and finally left.

Zhao Chuge couldn't say what happened next, and he didn't want to say it, and it didn't make sense to say it. The matter was over, and he was the only one who couldn't forget it because of it. Lu Shengping might not even remember such a trivial matter.

Zhao Chuge felt disgusted by his hypocrisy. He was always cowardly, and he even looked down on himself. He deserved to be like this, and he deserved no one to love him.

Everything is self-inflicted.It's all his fault, it's him time and time again that brought this marriage that shouldn't exist into a stalemate, Lu Shengping doesn't care about him, but there will always be a day when people are tired, and there will always be a day when they can't bear it.

Just like him, didn't he collapse because he couldn't bear it.

He no longer knew how to face it. Facing Lu Shengping, he flinched. He wanted to move forward, but he retreated to the same place after taking a few steps.

"I want to see a psychiatrist." Zhao Chuge said.

"Okay, we'll go tomorrow."

The author has something to say: the next chapter preview

Zhao Chuge also saw that Lu Shengping's complexion was not very good, and knew that he had probably done something wrong, so he got off Lu Shengping without saying anything, and then he got dressed and sat on the bed playing games without talking or eating. What, it looks like a pissed off baby.