Cloud Chaser Cemetery

"I've packed my house for you, so you can live here for now." After Kang Zhe entered the house, he put Sangji's luggage beside his bed.

It is said to be luggage, but it is actually a cloth bag that is not much better than a woven bag. It is tattered and covered with dust and dirt after a long journey.

Because it happened so suddenly, Kang Zhe frowned a little annoyedly when he saw the sheets and quilt on the bed that he hadn't had time to change.

He looked back at Sanji, only to find that he hadn't come in yet, but was standing at the door a little helplessly.

First, he took a shuttle bus from the town to the county seat, and then took a bus from the county seat to Chengdu. He didn't get a sleeper ticket, but Sangji was glad that he got a hard seat.He didn't have much luggage, but it was all his belongings. He didn't dare to sleep, so he stayed up all night. When he arrived in Shenzhen in the afternoon, he had been on the road without sleep for almost three days.

The train smell on his body hadn't dissipated yet, and Sanji had never realized for a moment that his body smelled so bad. He was afraid that Kang Zhe would find out the smell, so he could only stand there in embarrassment.

Before Sangji left, he knew that he must be afraid of coming to this big city. He didn't feel embarrassed because he was a minority youth from the countryside who couldn't even speak Chinese well. Out of place breeds belated shame.

He knew that he must be very different from the outside environment, but Kang Zhe's clean, tidy, and decent residence in his opinion suddenly made this out of place real.

Standing at the door of the bedroom, Sangji saw his dirty "luggage" being piled up next to the neat bed by Kang Zhe, and felt like crying for a moment.

He stood at the door, subconsciously digging at the door frame with his fingers at a loss, hesitantly said: "Azhe... Did I cause you trouble..."

Kang Zhe paused, looked back at him, and raised his eyebrows in surprise, "You can speak Chinese now? Who taught you?"

Sangji lowered his head in embarrassment, and his Chinese, which he could barely speak neatly, suddenly became stammered, "Just where you left... these few years... I went to school. No... no What a good...good school, just...that is...the...high school in the county. I haven't finished it...Abba...Abba won't let me go."

"Really? It's good to learn Chinese, so you should try to speak as much as possible, don't be afraid." Kang Zhe was silent for a while, and smiled like a big brother without hesitation: "What are you afraid of? will laugh at you."

Sangji pursed his lips, Kang Zhe went to the cabinet and took out a new bed sheet and quilt cover, put them on the bed, rubbed between his brows, and then answered his question just now: "I don't think you are troublesome, don't think too much, I'm just a little tired today."

After getting Kang Zhe's nod, Sangji dared to enter the room that was too bright and clean for him. Kang Zhe pointed to the bed sheet and quilt cover and said to him: "You can change it yourself, it's too much trouble, I'll just change it." I won't help you anymore."

Sangji nodded obediently, Kang Zhe was quiet for a while, and said directly: "But I can't stay in Shenzhen for too long, I should have left next month, but I will stay until this winter when you come, but You have to make long-term plans, and if you want to settle down in Shenzhen, you still have to make a decision early, and the sooner you look for a house, the better."

Sangji didn't seem to understand, and after a while he said blankly: "Where are you going...?"

Kang Zhe was silent for a few seconds, but did not answer directly: "Let's talk about it, I haven't thought about it yet."

Sangji said eagerly: "Did you decide to leave before you made up your mind?"

Kang Zhe hummed and glanced at him. Sangji took a step back subconsciously, but Kang Zhe didn't say anything, but withdrew his gaze, "Go to rest early, I'll go to the sofa to deal with it all night, and wait until tomorrow." I went to buy a folding bed. I didn’t clean up the room next door. The last renter left a while ago, and there are still some things there. I’ll call the landlord tomorrow.”

Sangji quickly said: "How can this work, you sleep on the bed, I will go to the sofa."

Kang Zhe patted him on the shoulder, "You're welcome, go to sleep, we'll talk about it tomorrow."

The next morning, when Kang Zhe was woken up by the alarm clock, he was almost on the verge of nuclear explosion when he woke up.

To spend the summer in this hot and humid city, I will stay for several more months. The point is that there is still such a headache and thorny trouble. This kind of irritability does not seem to be relieved by sleeping.

Kang Zhe rubbed the center of his eyebrows wearily, adjusted his mood, sat up and woke up for a few minutes, and after making sure that he didn't want to make trouble for no reason, he went to the bedroom door and knocked on it.

Immediately there was a sound of panic in the bedroom, and there was an obvious sound of urgent fabric rubbing. Kang Zhe stood at the door, and after a few seconds, he called out in a calm voice: "Sangji."

The caressing sound paused, and then stopped as if giving up, Kang Zhe heard the sound of slippers rushing on the floor, Sangji opened the door with a little helplessness, "Azhe...? What's the matter? Why did you get up so early?"

Kang Zhe glanced in through the crack of the opened door, and said calmly, "Are you changing the sheets and quilts?"

Sangji tightened his hand on the doorknob, forced a smile, "Yes."

Kang Zhe raised his eyelids, no emotion could be seen on his face, "Why didn't you change yesterday?"

Sangji lowered his head, "I was too tired yesterday, and I was sleepy early, so I thought it would be the same if I got up tomorrow to help you change."

Kang Zhe didn't say anything, just stared at him for a few seconds, until Sangji began to lower his eyelids uncomfortably, Kang Zhe said indifferently: "It's okay, don't change yet, come over and have breakfast."

After breakfast, Kang Zhe was going to continue working in the store, so he asked Sangji what he planned to do today.

What happened in the morning seemed to have caught Sanji by surprise. He kept silent during breakfast, and it took him a while to realize, "I'm going to find a job."

Kang Zhe was changing shoes at the door. Hearing the words, he thought for a while and said nothing. He put a key on the shoe cabinet, "Come on, this is the key to the house. If you can't find it, come back first." .”

He hesitated for a while, and finally took out two thousand cash from his bag, and put it with the key.

Sangji came back to his senses now, his face was flushed, and he waved his hands desperately, even choking out Tibetan, but he didn't want it.

Although he guessed that this would happen, Kang Zhe still knocked on the table, and deliberately tuned his voice to the impatient channel: "Stop making trouble, I'm going to be late for work, and it doesn't mean anything else, you can Use it first, and put it away if you really don’t need it.”

When Sanji was said in such a tone, he didn't dare to say anything, so he could only sit in place and nodded.

After Kang Zhe walked out of the door, he went down the stairs and wondered if he had pushed too much. He sighed, wondering if his father knew how troublesome it was for him to deal with a good little sang.

When he reached the first floor, Kang Zhe was sweating again due to the exercise of several steps of stairs. He thought of Uncle Deji's face in his mind, and felt that he was sighing more and more frequently recently.

When Kang Zhe came back in the afternoon, Sangji had already returned.

He sat on the sofa, didn't turn on the TV, didn't do anything, just sat straight in a daze.

He is like a bunch of stiff, unattractive air that is isolated from this house. Even if he is in it, he seems to be more confident than all other inanimate things in this space, and he dares not move anything. , and dare not do anything.

Kang Zhe himself felt a little tired looking at him, and really couldn't figure out why.

As soon as Sangji saw him coming back, he seemed to have finally come alive from the cloud of air, and his eyes suddenly lit up, "Azhe, you're back!"

"What do you want to eat?" Sanji smiled happily, "I went to buy some food and I can cook for you."

Kang Zhe put the keys on the shoe cabinet. He felt that he had done too many bad things recently, and his life would be shortened, but he still said without emotion, "Have you found a job yet?"

Sanji's suddenly energetic light quickly extinguished, and his footsteps stopped, and he said a little embarrassedly: "No...not yet...I'll try again tomorrow."

It would be impossible to find Winter like this, Kang Zhe thought calmly while watching.

He pours two glasses of water and sits on the couch, letting Sanji sit across from him.

Sanji looked a little nervous, the fingers of both hands curled up unconsciously.Kang Zhe took a sip of water, pondered for a while and said, "It's not easy to find a job in Shenzhen."

Sangji on the opposite side suddenly raised his head, as if he had finally found a plausible reason for his embarrassment, "Yes...my dad told me before...it's hard to find a job in big cities."

Kang Che didn't say anything, he knew that people of this age had a strong sense of self-esteem, especially those who held their breath, and the more difficult the situation was, the more stubborn they became. Presumably what Sanji feared most was that he would look down on him.

Although Kang Che planned to stay away from him, there was really no need to treat him so badly on this point.He nodded and said: "Well, it's hard to find, so I came up with a solution for you. I have a friend who opened a record store, and I need someone to watch in the store, and I'm looking for people everywhere, so I came back Let me ask you, do you want to go?"

Sangji was silent for a long time, and then he seemed to muster up his courage, and said in a low voice: "What is a record...?"

Kang Zhe was taken aback for a moment, and then a feeling of indescribable feeling surged up in his heart. He slowed down his tone and said, "You will know after a few days. The work is very simple. Almost no one goes to his store. You only need to go to his shop every day." Go to open and close the door, pick a few records at random when you are in the store, and at most collect money occasionally, and you can listen to music every day, it’s not complicated, do you want to go?”

Sanji didn't speak, and began to wring his fingers unconsciously again.

He was quiet for a long time, until Kang Che began to feel a little impatient uncontrollably, Sanji said in a low voice: "I'll go."

The matter of cooking for Kang Zhe that night did not come true. Kang Zhe took him out for a hot pot meal, which was said to be a celebration of his finding a job.

At that time, a secret expectation arose in Sanji's heart. Amid the smell of hot chili oil, he faced up to the life he had chosen for the first time, and felt that there might be hope for everything.

But Sanji soon discovered that the time he could see Kang Zhe was actually very little.

Because the record store is located in a night market, Sanji often needs to come to open the door in the afternoon, and can only go back after ten o'clock in the evening.

Kang Zhe goes to the store very early every day and usually comes back in the afternoon.The time with him was almost completely missed.

At the beginning, Sanji was very happy to cheer up and cook breakfast for Kang Zhe for several days, but Kang Zhe would always say that he had no appetite or could not eat in the morning.

But Kang Zhe didn't stop cooking at all. Sometimes when Sangji came back at night, he would see Kang Zhe left him a supper.

He just didn't want me to cook for him or meet me.

After more than a month, Sangji finally slowly realized Kang Zhe's intention of keeping his face.

This question can't go deep into the reason. Sangji's throat became hoarse just because he had this consciousness.

He felt like a person walking in the dark in the dark, even if he encountered a hard rock wall, he didn't dare to think about what it was, so he could only bypass it and lie to himself to go forward without hesitation.

Otherwise, he doesn't know how to face the self who tried his best to go out and chase here.

Sangji thought vaguely and painfully, I didn't completely lie to myself to stay here, I just came to see Ah Che, who was really good to me.

When he first came here, Sanji was so inferior that it almost became a chronic disease in his heart. He was well aware of the gap between himself and this glamorous and decent big city. Before going out every day, he would stand unconfidently. I stare in front of the mirror for a long time, afraid that any cell in my body will reveal that I am just a rustic, troubled fellow from the same country as Kang Zhe, who can't be shaken off.

Kang Che hardly looked in the mirror, and there was only one small mirror in the house, which was in the bathroom.

Once when Kang Zhe was taking a break, he saw Sanji laboriously looking up and down in front of the small mirror in the bathroom for a long time. Kang Zhe didn't say anything at the time, but later he installed a large mirror in the living room.

Sangji still remembers Kang Che telling him with a smile that big men should look less in the mirror and be more confident.

Kang Zhe's kindness is actually silent.

In the house they lived in, the room where Sanji was in had no air conditioning, only fans.This is almost killing people in Shenzhen in midsummer. Sangji has lived for more than a month, and he has spent almost all his money, which is not much different from being penniless.The plateau is freezing cold, and he has never experienced such muggy, humid and sticky heat. One night, Kang Zhe saw him woke up by the heat and blowing on the balcony. After returning from the night shift, I saw an extra air conditioner in the room.

This is a rented house, and the air conditioner can't be taken away. It's a cheap landlord to do this kind of expense.

That day, Sangji stared blankly at the brand-new air conditioner, and stood at the door of the room helplessly.

Kang Che had already fallen asleep, as if he deliberately didn't want to be thanked by him.Sangji has been here for so long, he has learned to savor his silent refusal, and he knows that Kang Zhe has no other intentions, but he still can't control his sour heart and wrinkled into a ball.

This is an air conditioner, a high-end electrical appliance that even my dad has never seen or used.

Sanji suffers an almost biting remorse, sees the base weakness of his own soul, and yet at the same time cannot control his own despicable and secret delight.

Every night, lying under the clean and pleasant-smelling cold air from the air conditioner, Sangchi would feel like crying.

Ah Che is really a very good person.

Sangji thought a little ashamedly, it was my fault, I shouldn't like him, I shouldn't bother him.

He has gradually understood that Kang Zhe helped him find a job, left him supper, installed mirrors for him, and bought air conditioners, all because Kang Zhe felt that he had the responsibility to take care of him.

He still had a phone call with his father every week. Sangji couldn't figure out why, but he gradually came to his senses later.

Kang Zhe has done almost everything that a fellow countryman, friend, and even an older brother should do, but nothing is close to him.

Kang Zhe is self-restraining and polite, considerate and thoughtful, full of a sense of distance that is appropriate and not hurtful.He is a real resident of this city, even a resident who is easy to handle and does not miss. He is familiar with Sanji, galloping on the grassland, feeding horses, herding sheep, watching clouds, running down from the hillside, and then recklessly and arbitrarily under the sky. Brother Ah Zhe, who smiled proudly, was completely different.

Sangji knew that he spoke Chinese very poorly and didn't even have a high school education, so he could understand that he was able to experience the city life for several months, completely relying on Kang Zhe's help.

He used to want to work hard, almost to fit into this city where everyone looks beautiful, far away, and full of fantasy, and to be able to stay beside Ah Zhe without being too obtrusive, but it was this little requirement that he thought It's not much, but I didn't expect it to be so difficult in fact.

For several months, one person consciously hid while the other was subconsciously in a daze. The hottest time in Shenzhen had passed. On the first rainy night in early autumn, Sangji thought in a trance, how about I Let's go back.

He is really stupid, far from being as smart as Ah Zhe, and he will probably never be as smart as Ah Zhe.

It took him so long to remember Chu, the first day Ah Zhe saw him at the station, it turned out that it was not the fact that he politely denied later, but that he was really not welcome.

Sangji thought, when Ah Zhe leaves Shenzhen, I will go home and accompany my father.

I shouldn't bother him inappropriately anymore, I didn't want anything at first, I was just dizzy, I haven't seen him for too long, I miss him very much.

Sangji felt that he was in love with Ah Zhe almost dumbly and secretly, like the humid and gloomy air in Shenzhen.

But he hoped that Ah Zhe would not run away, run away, or even bother him, because he would not hurt him, and he would be the one who loved him forever.

As long as you never tell Ah Zhe it will be fine.

I'm a sinner, Sanji thought, I'll be abnormal for a few more months, and then I'll be fine.

It’s as good as not being in the grasslands day and night thinking about Kang Zhe teaching him to read; it’s not as good as being beaten and borrowing money, and chasing him to Shenzhen without saying a word; it’s not as good as not changing the quilt quietly and then being discovered by Kang Zhe; not stealing Kang Zhe's clothes, it's better to do that kind of thing in his smell; it's not better to get up at night and sneak to Kang Zhe's door, wrapped in a thin quilt, and standing naked under the quilt.

For a few months, I was gone, and then I was fine.thought Sanchi.

I will be unhappy, but I don't need happiness. Azhe will be healthy and happy, free from disease and disaster in my prayers and blessings day after day for the rest of my life.

"Have you made up your mind? Don't you stay in Shenzhen anymore?" Kang Zhe was a little surprised, looking at the humanity in front of him.

There is still one month until the rent is due, and Sangji seems to have no plans to find a house. When asked by Kang Zhe, he smiled and said with a little embarrassment: "Well, I want to go back."

How much has Shenzhen changed this Tibetan boy in the mountains? Finally, he is no longer as fearful and weak as when he first came here. Although he still lacks self-confidence, at this time he said with a relieved smile: "I think I Dad. I may not be suitable for a big city, I just wanted to come out and have a look, but I never thought about staying outside."

"Don't say that," Kang Zhe said calmly, "Just think it over."

Sanji just smiled and said nothing.

Kang Zhe looked at him for a while, and he saw that the light in Sanji's eyes hadn't been completely extinguished. If he could persist to this point, the light probably wouldn't go out so quickly.Kang Zhe smiled, he knew what Sanji wanted to hear, but in the end he just remained the same as usual, and said indifferently: "When are you leaving, I'll treat you to a meal?"

Sanji quickly waved his hand, "Next week. Don't invite me anymore. You have helped me so much and taken care of me for so long. I will treat you to dinner."

Kang Zhe thought about it for a while, and nodded without arguing with him, "That's fine, then wait for me to come back from the store tomorrow."

The last dinner on the second day was hot pot, and Sanji ate very happily. He always remembered that first noisy night that made him feel hopeful.

Both he and Kang Zhe drank wine, but Kang Zhe drank very little. Sangji knew that he was happy, but felt that his heart was broken and empty, so he deliberately indulged himself and drank a little more.

Kang Che didn't stop him either, and Sangji fell asleep in his room soon after being carried back by him.Kang Zhe remembered that he had just changed the bed sheet and quilt cover today, and smelled the alcohol on his body with disgust.

Carrying drunk people was really tiring, and Kang Che rarely felt lazy and didn't want to take a bath, so he made do with the night on the sofa.

Kang Che is not a light sleeper, but a kiss is enough to wake him up.

He opened his eyes in a half-dream, and saw Sanchi kneeling devoutly in the morning sun, pressing his lips tremblingly to his own.

Kang Zhe looked at it silently for a while, without saying anything, turned his gaze to the mirror directly opposite the sofa, and looked at it without any emotion.

He evaluated his mood, and felt that he really didn't have any feelings, but felt a little pitiful and wanted to sigh.

On that mirror, he saw two people who seemed to be close to each other. He saw Sanji's eyes closed, even his eyelashes seemed to be shaking, and he saw his tired, untouched expression.

But at the same time, he also saw Uncle Deji standing at the door, his face full of confusion, maintaining a stiff posture, his eyes wide open, his lips parted unconsciously, looking at them as if he could not make a sound, as if he had already Frozen by this picture.

Kang Zhe pushed Sangchi away abruptly, and Sangchi snorted and wanted to stand up in panic, but he saw his father standing at the door in the huge mirror at a glance.

In Kang Zhe’s memory, the mirror seemed to be broken, because he heard the crisp and piercing cracking sound very clearly, but he later confirmed that the glass was intact, and the cracking sound was only his own. illusion.

He caught Sanji's eyes again in a deathly suffocating silence.

The light went out.