Overwintering method of lilac

Big brother passed away.

Initially, the news from the work unit to Ding's family said that something happened, and the family members were asked to go there quickly.The words on the phone were vague, and if I called again, no one answered.

At that time, Li Shumin was at home with Ma Gan'er's grandma crocheting socks for the children. When she received the call, she collapsed on the spot.She said, it's over, Yu Huan is gone.

Grandma Ma Gan'er hurriedly poohed her, telling her not to say unlucky words.But Li Shumin just kept crying.

When she found out about this, Yu Qing's first reaction was to not believe it.Eldest brother is doing well, he sent a letter and a photo half a month ago - the elder brother in the photo looks relaxed, with the green mountains in the western suburbs of Yanjing behind him.

Li Shumin was getting old and fell ill immediately after hearing the news, Yu Qing stayed at home to take care of her.Mom and sister set off for Yanjing.

Grandma was lying on the bed crying, talking about things about my eldest brother when he was a child, and the reasons why he came to Ding's house.Yu Qing comforted him, saying that it must be just an injury, the medical conditions there are good, and the eldest brother is so young, nothing will happen to him.

He really thinks so.Big brother is so young after all.In Yu Qing's eyes, as long as you are young, you are far away from death.But he couldn't help but think of his father whom he had never met—Ding Kang was very young when he left.

Ding Kang in the photo is still smiling.Yu Qing went over to burn incense on him, and said in a low voice: Dad, you have to protect elder brother.

I don't know why, Ding Kang's smile is no longer so bright after seeing it for a long time, but sad and bitter.Yu Qing touched the photo, thinking uneasily, it must be because of the light.

Mother and sister came back unexpectedly quickly.When Zhou Hui brought Yu Fen into the house, the first thing she said was, Mom, we brought Yu Huan back.

Yu Qing was overjoyed and breathed a sigh of relief.He said grandma, and I said brother is fine.

Unexpectedly, when he ran out, he didn't see the elder brother, only the elder sister with red eyes and a small box in her arms.

It took Yu Qing a long time to realize what it was.His smile disappeared, and he felt as if he was suddenly thrown into an ice cave for three or nine days.

The work unit said that Yu Huan committed suicide, and the Ding family also got the relics and suicide note—only a copy of the suicide note.

That simple letter didn't say much, just a peaceful farewell to family and friends.Yu Huan said that he was too exhausted and felt guilty for being alive, and hoped that his family would forgive him, because this was the only way for him to be freed.

Yu Qing still couldn't believe that this was true.How can such a grown-up person say that he is gone?He wondered if Yu Huan had received some secret job, so he wanted to hide it from his family like this.Yu Qing told her sister about this idea, but Yu Fen burst into tears, saying that the person really left, and my mother and I saw it with our own eyes.

His mother and sister would not lie to him, but Yu Qing always felt that it was not true.He didn't even cry because there was no real sense of death.Ten thousand steps back, even if Yu Huan really passed away, he really couldn't figure out why his eldest brother couldn't survive.Didn't he work hard, went to the unit he wanted, and had a good relationship with colleagues and classmates.

No one told him why, just like no one told his family why.The eldest brother's spiritual world will always be isolated from his family, Yu Qing thought, they will probably never know why.

There is no man in this family.Li Shumin lay on the bed crying, big and small, they all left as soon as they said they would go.

Yu Fen choked up, saying that there are still me and Doudou.

Li Shumin cried even harder, she grabbed Yu Qing's hand: said what I said at the beginning, how nice it is to stay at home.I have to go, I have to go, I really go now, and I will never look back.There must be a reason for others to leave, so what is going on with him.We have raised him for more than twenty years.

Yu Qing lowered her head silently, looking at her knees.The fabric at the knee is a bit dirty.He thought absently, as if he hadn't changed his pants for days.

There was silence at home for several days.Li Shumin cried enough, finally struggled to get up, found a familiar Mr. Baishi, performed a ritual ceremony for Yu Huan, and buried his ashes.

The whole family was there on the day of the funeral.Yu Huan’s cemetery is in the same cemetery as his biological parents, but it’s far away—there are all tombstones as far as the eye can see, death seems so common and crowded here.

After Yu Huan's burial, Li Shumin insisted on going to see his biological parents.After reading it, she cried uncontrollably in front of the tombstone, blaming herself for not stopping Yu Huan at that time.If he had stayed at home, now Yu Huan would have worked hard and had a stable job in Factory 176, and he might have gotten married and had children.

Yu Qing still didn't cry.Looking at the unfamiliar name on the tombstone, he thought to himself, wondering if his eldest brother thought of his biological parents when he left.

When everyone came back from the cemetery, Li Shumin lay down.Yu Fen wiped away her tears and stayed by grandma's bedside.

Zhou Hui looked calm and said that something happened in the hospital and I had to go back.Doudou, come to help my mother carry things, and I want to give some thank you gifts to my colleagues, and they also help a little.

Yu Qing ran over, picked up those things, and sent Zhou Hui to the station.

The mother and son did not speak all the way.It's just that when walking, Zhou Hui deliberately went around to the outside of Yu Qing - that side was close to the driveway.When Yu Qing was young, his mother led him to the street like this.Later, when he grew up, Zhou Hui didn't pay much attention to this matter.

But now she did it again.

Yu Qing said sadly: "Mom..." He wanted to say something, but couldn't.Yu Qing never cried, neither did Zhou Hui.When dealing with Yu Huan's funeral, people who were familiar with him whispered, saying that it really wasn't his own, and it still didn't work.At the beginning, I might not know how I treated them.Or how good it is, I have to go to other places.

Yu Fen heard this, and was so angry that she wanted to quarrel, but Zhou Hui stopped her silently.

Because of this matter, their family did not notify anyone of the funeral.

The bus is coming soon.Yu Qing handed the things to Zhou Hui: "Mom, you can go to work with peace of mind, don't worry about grandma, there are me and sister."

Zhou Hui patted his head, and said softly: "There are not so many people at home, you can go back to school. Walk and look at the car, don't pay attention to what other people say."

Yu Qing nodded and sent her to the car.When the bus drove up, he saw his mother buried her face in her arms from a distance.

Yu Qing stood alone on the side of the road for a long time, then walked silently towards the department store.It's already this time, and he doesn't want to go to school today - anyway, the leave has already been taken.Because of the eldest brother, grandma has been eating very little recently, and he wanted to bring her some snacks back home.

The autumn is crisp and the streets are full of people.Yu Qing remembered that when she was a child, her elder brother would occasionally take her to buy apples in this kind of weather.If he encountered crossing the road, he would directly hug Yu Qing up.

Yu Qing was born without a father, so she doesn't know what a father is like.But he thought that his father might be like that—he would let the child ride as a big horse, cross the road with the child in his arms, take the child to the public bathhouse to take a bath, and leave the best food at home to the child.

At that time, Yu Huan was still a young man.Other people's elder brothers would fight with younger brothers, but Yu Huan never did, even though Yu Qing was quite mischievous sometimes.

An older brother is like a father.Yu Qing thought that he would have no father and no elder brother in the future.

He was walking down the street in a daze, vaguely as if he heard someone calling his baby name.Yu Qing stopped, feeling that someone was pulling her arm.

Runsheng got off the bicycle and panted, "Why are you here? I've been looking for you everywhere..."

Yu Qing said in a daze: "You are the one, aren't you going to school today?"

Runsheng caught his breath, and said in a low voice, "I ran out." He looked a little disheartened, and the sparse stubble on his chin had grown back, which seemed to be harder than before.

Yu Qing was silent for a while: "Skipping class will be demerited."

Runsheng didn't say anything, just pulled him past: "Come up."

Yu Qing hesitated, "Where are you going?"

Runsheng didn't answer.

After hesitating for a moment, Yu Qing climbed onto the back seat of his bicycle.

Runsheng took Yu Qing to a very expensive restaurant.When the bicycle stopped at the door, Yu Qing finally realized that Runsheng wanted to take him to dinner.

"I don't want to eat." Yu Qing said disappointedly.

"Just eat something." Runsheng insisted: "This one is delicious."

"Thank you, but I don't want to eat." Yu Qing said stubbornly, "I'm going home."

Runsheng looked a little embarrassed, and at a loss as if he had done something wrong.

Yu Qing looked at him and wanted to explain to him, but seemed to lose the strength to explain again.He whispered: "I'm fine, I just want to be alone for a while. You should go back to class quickly. If you are found to have played truant, it will affect your future studies and work."

He waved to Runsheng and walked back.After walking for a while, Yu Qing turned her head subconsciously and found that Run Sheng had disappeared.

Yu Qing stood on the side of the road, feeling an indescribable loneliness.

He was supposed to go home, but on the way, he accidentally walked to the riverside.The summer flood has passed long ago, the river is wide and quiet, and the water is the reflection of the sky.The train crashed past the distant river bridge, not knowing where it was going.

Yu Qing wondered, would the eldest brother sit on a certain train and go to a distant secret base to perform some special mission?But it was impossible, he saw the urn buried in the ground.

What exactly is death?Yu Qing thought.Will Big Brother go to reunite with Dad?Or go to find your own biological parents?Will you meet Erpang's grandma?It would be great if I could see him, Er Pang's grandma is so enthusiastic, she would definitely be willing to take care of her elder brother.Maybe the old lady will ask how Erpang is.But the eldest brother has been away from home for many years, so he probably can't answer the question.The old lady would probably be disappointed if she couldn't find out how her grandson was doing.

Thinking of Er Fat Grandma's kindness and openness, Yu Qing smiled.But that smile quickly disappeared.

He suddenly felt weak under his feet and staggered on the river embankment.At this moment, a hand stretched out like lightning and held him tightly.

Yu Qing turned her head and saw Run Sheng standing behind her with her lips tightly pursed.His hand was so steady, with a little force, he pulled Yu Qing back to the railing.

Yu Qing stared at him in a daze as he climbed over the railing and stood still beside her.

Neither of them spoke.Yu Qing suddenly realized that, like Runsheng, she had something on her mind that she didn't want to tell others.Because I can't say it, and I don't know how to say it.

They are not children anymore.

The water receded, and the river beach revealed a large area.There are many people digging mussels with their children.A boy of eighteen or nineteen picked up the child who was running into the water and let him sit on his arm.

Yu Qing's eyes blurred.He wiped his eyes, but the tears grew more and more, and soon flowed all over his face.Yu Qing couldn't wipe it clean no matter how hard she tried, she finally squatted down, buried her face in her knees, and burst into tears.

Warm hands landed on his back hesitantly.

Yu Qing turned around and hugged Runsheng, and started crying like she was a child.

He didn't know how long he had been crying, but he only knew that the sun was so bright that it made people's eyes glow—he couldn't say for sure, because he was very dizzy.

Runsheng has not spoken.In the end, Yu Qing had had enough crying, and said in a hoarse voice, "Did you know? When a person dies, he becomes so small."

He gestured to Runsheng: "There is only a little bit left."

Runsheng said softly, "I know. I've seen it too."

Yu Qing looked up at him.Runsheng's eyes were deep and calm, and Yu Qing gradually calmed down.

In the past, he felt that Runsheng was often too indifferent.Now he was almost thankful for the indifference.

But that's not total indifference.Runsheng stared at him for a moment, then wiped his tears with his hand: "Don't cry."

Yu Qing nodded, but tears fell down again.

Runsheng helped him up steadily: "I'll take you home."

Yu Qing slowly climbed onto the back seat of his bicycle.Before Runsheng set off, he suddenly licked his finger.

The autumn wind dried the tears on Yu Qing's face and made him wake up slowly.Only then did he realize that Runsheng was tasting his own tears.

There seems to be nothing wrong with this, because Yu Qing also licked her own tears when she was a child.But it seemed very wrong, because Runsheng was no longer a child.

But he didn't ask anything.The prolonged crying had left him tired and dull, unable to think of anything more.

Back home, Yu Qing and Run Sheng went upstairs together.

Li Shumin fell asleep.Yu Fen is guarding her.Seeing Runsheng enter the door, my sister's eyes turned red: "Thank you for coming."

Runsheng looked like an adult, and said to Yu Fen, "Sister Yu Fen, my condolences." When he turned around and saw the spirit tablet on the cabinet in the living room, he naturally went to burn incense on Yu Qing, his father and elder brother.

When doing these things, his demeanor looks skilled and standard, even with a bit of calmness and elegance.

Yu Fen sighed, as if speaking to Yu Qing, and also as if talking to herself: "Run Chang has grown up."

Runsheng and Yu Qing were good friends, and Yu Fen and him also saw each other, brought him tea and lunch, and then went back to guard grandma.

Yu Qing had already washed her face, and said apologetically, "There's nothing delicious, just vegetarian buns."

Runsheng didn't care, and picked up one: "It's okay."

"I'm sorry." Yu Qing sat on the bed: "Today I..."

Runsheng shook his head: "I said it's all right." He took a bite of the steamed stuffed bun: "It's delicious."

How could Yu Qing not know about Ermao, he would not eat without meat, and would frown even if the meat was not tasty.But he didn't say anything.He sat beside Runsheng for a while, then got up and opened the drawer.

There are two brand-new unopened razors in the iron box. It is said that they are daily necessities issued by the research institute-this is what my sister found when she was sorting out her eldest brother's belongings.Yu Huan left many such relics behind.Before leaving, he neatly packed all the new things that were not used and left them to his family.

Yu Qing picked up a handful and handed it to Runsheng: "This is for you to use, my elder brother left it. It's new."

Runsheng looked up, but didn't answer: "Is this a relic?"

Yu Qing froze for a moment, then suddenly realized that Runsheng might have a taboo.He put down his hand and said sadly: "Ah, yes. It seems not very good."

Unexpectedly, Runsheng suddenly reached out and took the razor from Yu Qing's hand: "Then I don't need to buy it. Is there a blade?"

Yu Qing smiled subconsciously, but her nose was sore again: "Yes, I'll get it for you."