Pavlov and the White Moonlight

There is heavy snow in the north.

This year's severe winter, the temperature here in our house is very low, and it has been snowing for a few days at the end of the year.On the afternoon of the [-]th, Tang Shuhe and I landed on the plane, and it was four o'clock in the afternoon when we arrived at my parents' house. The time was just right. Tang Shuhe was visibly nervous when he entered the gate of the community. I pulled him to stand under the rain-covered platform at the entrance of the unit building, brushed the snow off his head and shoulders, and said, "Take it easy, Professor Tang, I'm really afraid that when my mother opens the door, she will say, 'Oh, this is Xiao Tang, right?' Then you slammed it out."

"What." He frowned and smiled.

I took his hand: "Let's go."

It was my dad who opened the door, and I found that he also made a fuss about it. He was wearing a suit, and his glasses were clean. He is an old man who has started to lose his hair in middle age, and he even sprayed mousse pomade. After so many years, it was the first time I saw him so formally bald.My mother was behind him, put on makeup, and seemed to have a perm on her head, with curls all over her hair, smiling towards the door.

My dad smiled and said, "Here we come."

Tang Shuhe was next to me, his hands were cold, but his smile was warm. He said, "Happy New Year, uncle and aunt."

A little stiff, I praised him in my heart, yes, the voice is loud and festive!

"Okay, happy Chinese New Year, come in quickly, it's cold outside—come and change your shoes, change your shoes," my dad let the two of us into the house, my dad looked at him, and said with a smile, "this kid, come and bring us what."

"I... I heard from Lu Huai that you don't touch alcohol and tobacco, so I brought you a box of tea and a silk scarf for my aunt. It's a little bit of my filial piety..." Tang Shuhe didn't know where to go after changing his shoes. Where to sit, I stood stiffly in the porch and talked, my mother let me sit on the sofa, he looked back at me subconsciously, I smiled at him, and sat beside him.

My mother quarreled: "The child is sensible. Yes, the important thing is the mind, as long as the mind is there-oh, this brand of silk scarves is too expensive for the child."

My dad picked up a pile of gift boxes that Tang Shuhe had put on the wall and took a look, said nothing else, just smiled and said: "This kindness is too precious, I will find a clean place to store it."

Tang Shuhe was wearing a high-necked wool sweater, with a gentle look, with his hands on his knees, red ears, and a somewhat restrained smile.

I put my hand on the back of his sofa back, my heart was full.

"The children are back, so I'll start cooking. I want to make you a hot meal, but I dare not open the pot before you come." My mother stood up and walked to the kitchen. Tang Shuhe and I hurriedly followed. We push it out, "You can just sit outside, Xiao Tang, don't be restrained, there are sugar, melon seeds, peanuts and fruits on the coffee table, you can eat whatever you want, don't be hungry."

"I can't let you work alone." I scratched the door frame of the kitchen with a playful smile, "The two of us came in to help you."

My mother took a look at both of us and said with a smile: "Then you two can help me choose the dishes."

Tang Shuhe and I moved a small horse, put a basin in front of us, and bowed our knees to choose vegetables. I knew why my mother asked us to do this. Asking nonchalantly, just pointing to this kind of time to make homework, she asked Tang Shuhe and answered, where did she graduate and what job did she know inside and out, after all Tang Shuhe didn't have any reservations.While chopping vegetables, my mother said: "I thought you could come back a few days earlier, young people, you are too busy."

Tang Shuhe said: "Yes... I have something to do with me, so I'm delayed."

My mother asked: "Hey, aren't you a teacher, your school doesn't have winter vacation?"

"Release," Tang Shuhe touched his nose, "but our research group has something to do."

"My God," my mother sighed, "the child is so tired, doesn't he even have time to eat?"

I quickly set up my wrist for him, put my elbow on Tang Shuhe's leg, leaned half of my body on him, and blamed my mother: "Yes, I work overtime every day, so busy that I even ran home after work." , and left after cooking for your son."

My mother laughed immediately, and looked relieved: "Really?"

Tang Shuhe was a sincere child, and was a little at a loss for a while: "It's not like what he said..."

My mother poked my forehead with a smile on her face: "You just let others get used to it!"

I laughed, wandered out and looked at my dad, my dad was making tea, saw me coming, and gave me a cup, I raised an eyebrow at him, he smiled silently, raised the teacup, blew, After taking a sip, he nodded to me for a while.

I wanted to laugh a little, and turned my head to look at the teacup.My mother is still chopping vegetables, and the smell of meat is already wafting out. The TV is broadcasting interviews with guests before the Spring Festival Gala. At dusk, the golden sunset slanted in from the window and fell on his hair and the bridge of his nose. At a certain moment, he turned his head and subconsciously looked for my sight.

I am separated from this person in the living room, by the old-fashioned wooden floor, the latticed glass door of the 90s, the old-fashioned TV and coffee table, the dust cover of the TV that my mother bought, and the person who accompanied me for the first 18 years of my life. Those things called "home", he looked at me, he didn't smile, he sat curled up in a corner of the fireworks in the world, with a calm and gentle expression.

It was already evening when the dishes were served, and my dad didn’t drink himself, so he asked, “Xiao Tang, would you like some drink?”

I hurriedly stopped him: "Pull it down, Dad, he poured a glass. Last time he drank too much at the celebration party when he was promoted to associate professor. I recited it."

My dad raised his eyebrows, surprised: "You are promoted to associate professor at such a young age?"

Tang Shuhe opened the stool and sat down, and said with a smile, "We have to wait until the teaching age is over next year."

My dad was very happy, and kept saying yes, yes, and poured tea for Tang Shuhe, praising him as a young man with great promise. My wife leaned over to hold the teacup, and the redness on her face never disappeared. I looked at him with a smile on my forehead. Look at me, wrapping my hands under the table quietly.

Before the New Year's Eve dinner that day, I called my parents in advance and asked Tang Shuhe before calling. He meant that he didn't want my parents to know too much about his past. I don't know because he was afraid that my parents would be wrong He has prejudices, and he simply felt that the incident was too bloody and he didn't want to go through it again, so when he called my parents, I half told about Tang Shuhe's situation and concealed the scar on his wrist and miscellaneous diseases. , I said: "...so I'll bring him back, don't say too much to him, he's had a hard life." The old couple didn't speak for a long time, my dad sighed and said don't worry, my mom has a complicated expression, He scolded me over and over again, you little kid, and you can protect your kid.

But it was also today's New Year's Eve dinner. My mother raised her glass amidst the singing and dancing of the Spring Festival Gala and said, "Xiao Tang, Auntie wants to say a few words to you."

Tang Shuhe immediately put down his chopsticks and sat up straight: "Auntie, tell me."

My mother smiled: "Don't be nervous, take it easy, Auntie just wants to tell you a few words from your heart...Xiao Tang, you are a good boy, you are such a good boy, you should also see that, the two of you are together , Uncles and aunts are very relieved, but you know, as a parent, she always has a little... She is always afraid that the child will have a bad life outside, unhappy, and no one will take care of her..."

"I know," Tang Shuhe said softly, "Auntie, I know."

My mother smiled, turned her head to the side, quickly turned back, and continued: "Lu Huai is a stubborn child, but he knows how to love others, but you may not know that he has a period... a long period of time. Time, he was alone and had a hard time. At that time, who would feel sorry for him, and no one. In the past two years, he was outside by himself. I happened to call him that day, and he answered with a wrong voice. I asked where he was, and he said that he had a stomach problem and was in the emergency department of the hospital..."

"My mother," I sat there with my head crossed, pulling my hair in embarrassment, "what are you talking about when you are a Chinese New Year?"

Tang Shuhe glanced at me, I didn't look at him, but I felt that his expression changed a bit, my dad pinched my mother's shoulder, and she continued: "The person the child recognizes by himself, we have nothing to say, just... just hope From now on, both of you, just be good. Your business, uncles and aunts love you, and treat you like your own son in the future, but Xiao Tang, you have to understand the little selfishness of parents, let's just say - you are good to him, don't Break his heart and it's over."

Tang Shuhe was silent for a moment, stood up and said, "Let me toast my uncle and aunt."

I lowered my head and heard him say: "I was sorry for him before..."

"Don't say that," I put my arm on the table and patted his back, "Don't say that."

My mother also said: "Son, you can't help yourself."

Tang Shuhe just looked down at me, smiled a thousand words, his eyes were reddened by the smell of tea and rice, he pursed his lips, and carefully considered his words, that kind of solemn tone made people's voice tremble. It became heavy and strange, I withdrew my hand, and he picked up the cup.

I remember that scene for many years.Once, Tang Shuhe and I had an argument over a fart. It was a fart. It was like the gravel in a shoe, mixed in the wind and sand of time. Neither of us could remember which stone was wrong at that time. Be careful, but at that time I was so angry that I was sitting on the sofa watching TV by myself, and fell asleep unknowingly, feeling flustered in my heart, dreaming about this passage.He raised his cup, as if he was trading a name, very tragic, but in the end he was probably too excited, and the words were all stuck in his throat. My mother smiled and said to him, "Just drink this cup of tea, uncle and aunt I understand you." He took a sip without saying a word, sat down and covered his face with a teacup, and then his emotions calmed down, and he said word by word, Auntie, he is my home, how can people leave home.

I woke up in the middle of the night, and saw that the person in the dream was not sleeping, standing in front of me delicately with bare feet holding the quilt. After a long time, I choked out a sentence: "Are you still angry?"

I fell asleep, forgot that I was still angry with him, took his hand, raised my head and said to him: "Why don't you sleep in the middle of the night? It's cold on the ground, put on your slippers."

He didn't move either, and said in a low voice, "If you don't go to bed, I'll squeeze the sofa with you."

I just reacted.It was already late at night, Lu Bowen's dog's head was resting on my feet, and Xiao Ke's head was resting on Lu Bowen's buttocks. I sat up amidst their snoring, and said to him, "Put on my slippers first. superior."

He was taken aback for a moment, then oh, stepped on my slippers, and asked persistently, "Are you really not angry?"

"Oops," I felt ashamed, put my head on his shoulder, and walked into the bedroom with my arms around him, "It's been a day, we two."

Tang Shuhe lowered his head and laughed in front, his laughter was more and more like mine, hehe.But how could home leave him, I thought.

Those are words from a long time later, and they should be included in the line of young couples coming to be with each other when they get old.

After the New Year’s Eve dinner, my mother was determined not to let me and Tang Shuhe participate in making dumplings. She and my dad made dumplings together, and gave me a big bag of firecrackers, and let us play by ourselves. I am happy, My heart said that this was coaxing us two like children.

Ours was a small town, and fireworks and firecrackers were still prohibited at that time. Tang Shuhe and I ran downstairs with a piece of orange candy in our mouths, and set off firecrackers under the building. The sound of the second kick was as loud as a fucking mortar Like a cannon, it was very enjoyable. I buried my feet in the snowdrift, clicked on the letter and turned around and ran. Tang Shuhe stood a little far away and looked at me with his pocket in his pocket. Fireworks bloomed in the sky behind him, and his face was shining Light it up, I can see that he is smiling, I ran to him, and when I turned around, I kicked and exploded, and the avalanche scattered everywhere.

The bag of firecrackers was wiped out by the two of us in one night. Tang Shuhe was still holding it at first, but then he completely liberated his nature, squatted on the ground and played with the Sky Monkey, and when the Sky Monkey went up, he raised his head Look, my eyes are bright, I don't run away, my head is cracked, my mother opened the window and called us: "Those two children, go upstairs to eat dumplings!"

He smiled and stood up, I ran over and hugged him from behind, the two of them swayed left and right and walked into the building on the same hand and foot, the sound of fireworks was loud behind me, and I smelled the dry smoke in the air , buried his face in his neck, he pushed open the unit door, and the north wind howled in.

We just stood in the corridor and kissed briefly.

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