Reborn the tamed beast

The eyes cannot be stimulated by strong light and do not like flashing lights.But Gu Shen likes sunshine very much.It seems that a long time ago, Gu Ziming, who once said that he likes the sun, and Gu Shen held the book "Prudence and Self-Clarity" in his hand. He has been carrying it with him since a long time ago, but he has no time to read it.

In fact, he really wanted to spare a few hours to read it, but it was a pity that the book was a pastime for outsiders, but for Gu Shen, it was fate.

Through this book, I can see Gu Ziming's heart bit by bit, see what Gu Ziming thinks and how he views himself.Many of the processes engraved in Gu Shen's mind were written down by Gu Ziming lightly. In his opinion, a novel that can be completely substituted by characters will suddenly become angry or be at a loss...

When Gu Shen hurried home, it was already daylight.Facing the west wind, the black windbreaker was blown slightly.Gu Shen stretched out his hand to smooth his hair, only to feel that there were faint water stains on it, which seemed as cold as if it would never melt.

At this time, Gu Ziming may have already woken up to write, and it is very inappropriate to retrieve his own things at this time. He may quarrel with Gu Ziming on the spot. Gu Shen is going to find a place to pass the time first. At night, wait for a while go back again.

Gu Shen found a very quiet coffee shop nearby.

That coffee shop has no waiters, and the owner is also lethargic

The seats in the coffee shop are modeled after tree stumps and look dirty, but they are just painted with retro paint.Because of the high price, there are very few customers. Gu Shen often came to this coffee shop in his previous life and sat there for a long time, but the owner never said anything. It is a good place to spend time...

I slept against the window with my eyes closed, and when I woke up, it was already one o'clock in the afternoon.Hearing the sound of Gu Shen getting up, the shopkeeper just opened his eyes and looked at him lightly, as if it is not surprising that there is one more person here, and let Gu Shen stare at him.

Gu Shen stood up, patted his clothes, walked to the shopkeeper, and asked, "Can I order something to drink?"

"Hmm..." There was a nasal sound in the voice that just woke up, "you have to wait a moment."

"..."

"The tea maker didn't come." Seems to have found a suitable reason, "Well, no one made it for you, what do you drink?" He pointed to a place casually: "Sit like you just now—just sit It's fine."

I slept for too long just now, and now my eyes are a little astringent.

In the previous life, Gu Shen once drank the coffee made by the owner here. The special taste made people remember the feeling for a lifetime, so it is not that there are no people who "make tea", but the owner is unwilling to brew...

But how did you drink coffee in your previous life?

As I said before, Gu Shen in his previous life did not major in music, but music is very easy to drive people crazy, and he longs to let others hear his own melody one day.So Gu Shen once came here to play the piano. Of course, the coffee is not free.

But Gu Shen in this life is much more low-key, and naturally he doesn't want to use the old and out-of-tune piano in this cafe just for a cup of coffee.

Gu Shen took out the book "Prudence and Self-Clarity" from his schoolbag, and read it bit by bit with the sun behind his back.

The total content of this book is about 20 words, including the preface and other people's comments, it can reach [-] words. Gu Shen only read the content written by Gu Ziming, and after reading it for so long, he soon came to the end.It was getting closer and closer to the time when Gu Ziming went abroad, but Gu Shen didn't seem to feel that he was actually there.

Gu Ziming wrote

[Ten-year-old Gu Shen, his voice was still milky when he spoke, I thought he was pretending to be mature. Gu Shen, who was 11 years old, no longer showed a sincere and straightforward expression in his eyes. At that time, I thought his eye disease had relapsed.When he grows up to be 12 years old, the 12-year-old Gu Shen will be completely——I may not be right to say this, but he really doesn't look like a 12-year-old child. 】【Some things can't be said clearly, it's more of a psychological feeling.I often see Gu Shen sitting by the long floor window very silently alone, silent, silent, pale, with complex and indifferent emotions in his eyes. 】【A 12-year-old child, do you have such patience? Is it possible for a 12-year-old child to show a thoughtful expression like an adult?Perhaps it is the birth environment that determines the character. Anyway, for me, as a father, this is something that I am very puzzled and can't understand. 】.

[He just sat there so quietly, his limbs were slender and powerful, with the heroic spirit and indifference that did not belong to a 12-year-old child. 】【I really want to hug his thin back, I really want to.However, I didn't dare. 】【This child gives me a very strange feeling.It's familiar, but I don't know how to integrate it. 】【At that time, I thought to myself, this is not your child anymore, you can only treat him like an outsider. 】【What makes people find it ridiculous is that apart from the hug when we first met, this child can even be called extremely indifferent to me. 】【Gu Shen before the age of eight does not belong to me. 】

【Then, it should not belong to me anymore. 】

Gu Shen's fingers turned the book slightly, and the pages were folded into tiny wrinkles 27

[The story is coming to an end here, and now I am writing the last words at home in Munich, Germany. I came to the United States, invited a psychiatrist, and asked how to solve these things. Unfortunately, I didn’t get anything Substantial help.In order to solve some problems at work, I went to Germany again. 】【But now, I decided to go back to China. 】

[I want to see my son. 】

The arc of the sun's rays slowly shifted and reflected on the book in his hand, but there was no dazzling feeling.Gu Shen narrowed his eyes slightly, touched the last line of the book lightly, and sighed helplessly.

Why does everyone think Gu Ziming is a good father?

The reason is here

What I think in my heart is how perfect the things written in my pen are. Whether it is a tender lyric or a cold-eyed commentary, Gu Ziming is like an actor who can play any role, and can make the written things move people's hearts. Impressive.

However, has he ever thought about whether Gu Shen is willing?

It was because Gu Shen was a little 'indifferent' to him, and he felt that 'Gu Shen didn't belong to him', so he left a child and went abroad to find a solution.

Talking to him face-to-face is sometimes easier to find a solution to a problem than if he walks away.

Gu Shen knows that there may be some problems with his psychology: indifferent, targeted and ruthless, without any collective concept, he only wants to be alone, and can only live alone But, how do you ask for an orphan?In the past and present lives, he spent the first eight years of his life alone, how can he talk about trusting others and integrating into the group?He didn't even understand what fatherly love was.