[Comprehensive British and American] Exchange bodies with Chaoying

How would it feel to watch your best friend die?

I've been through it once, and I'm going to do it again.

Although it was proved to be unfounded after the first time, the feeling at that time was not fake.And the second time it really worked, because I watched him die, watched his life disappear.

I heard his heartbeat gradually weakening, and I saw the light in his chest dimming.

I saw the sun fall.

You know that sense of helpless hopelessness?I know, I know clearly, that sense of helplessness always pops up when a person is most vulnerable, and it can always give you another fatal blow.

After seeing Tony snatch the Infinity Stone, I realized that it was not good. At that time, I could already predict what would happen next, and I had already predicted his death——

But I couldn't stop it, because that was the only way at that time, so much was sacrificed and we had to win, even if it required some more sacrifices.

I accept it intellectually but I don't accept it emotionally, I ignore my gut, I expect a miracle to happen.

But the reason why a miracle is a miracle is because it almost never happens. It is just a yearning for the good, and it is an illusory straw of hope for those who are on the verge of despair.

Tony's body was severely destroyed by the power of the Infinity Stone, and he could not be saved.

I didn't step forward when he fell there. I don't know why I didn't choose to step forward. After all, it was the last chance to hug him.

I know, but I just don't.

Thinking about it now, maybe it was because of fear. I was afraid of facing Tony's death, and I still kept a funny fantasy of hell in my heart.

But the reality is that it will destroy my inner defense time and time again. It never knows how to restrain itself, and it does all the things that make people collapse.

For the first time, I hated my quadruple perception, because it made me clearly perceive the passing of Tony's life, it was like a trickling water, and I could only reach out and touch it.

He's dying, he's dying!

A voice screamed in my head.

You should do something, you should save him!Hurry up!You are Captain America!Hurry up and save your friends!

But what can I do?

I question the voice in my head.

Can I heal his injuries?Can I divert his pain?Even if I am Captain America, can I reverse life and death?

……

The voice in my head quieted down.

I smiled bitterly in my heart, look, look, even my subconscious is ashamed to face this, I really failed.

Once upon a time, I wished that I had stronger abilities to save more people, but later on I realized more and more that even having stronger abilities may not necessarily save more people.

The heartbeat in my ear gradually weakened until it disappeared.

Tony is dead.

I realized.

Other thoughts automatically rolled out of my mind when this realization came to my mind.

I looked at Tony and knelt in respect.

He is a hero, a real hero who is as good as a god in a mortal body.

Tony's funeral was not so solemn and grand, it was just attended by our familiar people, in that cabin, by the small lake near his home.

Morgan saw me at the funeral and asked me what was wrong with her dad and why he hadn't shown up for a few days.And I told her that her father is going to a place where he is happy and free from worries and stress.

"Then why are everyone so sad?" the little guy asked, blinking those big caramel-colored eyes that were exactly the same as Tony's, with the innocence and simplicity that only belonged to children.

Looking at those eyes, my suppressed sadness surged up all of a sudden, like a rushing river, rushing to the distance with an unstoppable momentum.

But in order not to worry Morgan, I suppressed my tears: "Because everyone is blessing him."

I wish him a better life in that unknown world.

Bless him to finally unload his burden and rest.

Morgan may have realized something, and after asking these questions, she didn't say another word, just quietly watched the people walking up and down in front of her to deal with things, her eyes rolled around.

I stood next to Morgan, looked at Morgan's little face that hadn't changed, and sighed.

Morgan is a smart kid, maybe she doesn't realize what this change means now, but it won't take long for her to realize it.

And that would be a huge pressure on her—people would inevitably say to her that your dad is Tony Stark, that's Iron Man.

What does this mean?This means that you have to be better, you can't let him down, you can't let down everything he left behind...

But it's so unfair to the child, forced to bear the pressure from others, forced to carry all the expectations.

But no one can think otherwise, even I have to admit that I hope Morgan can be better and can inherit Tony's will.

At the same time, I don't want Morgan to inherit Tony's will. This may seem contradictory, but it doesn't contradict if you think about it a little bit.

If Morgan inherited Tony's will, it would be inevitable to follow the same path as him, and that path...was too bitter, and she shouldn't have to suffer.

Morgan has so many people who love her, she should live a relaxed and happy life, like a carefree little princess.

But the person who loved her the most is no longer in this world.

No matter what I or anyone else thinks right now, the road ahead for Morgan will never be smooth.

Under such circumstances, it is conceivable that Morgan would also choose to become a hero, but...

The most glorious sacrifice is the fate of a hero.

Pepper bent over to place Tony's original reactor on top of the wreath, set it on the lake, and gave it a little push.

The wreath floats away, carrying with it what it symbolizes.

I watched it go away.

And in the process of seeing off, I saw a sentence, a sentence that made me unable to restrain my emotions again——

Proof that Tony Starkhasa heart.

Tony Stark has a warm heart.

He has a warm heart, a warm heart of gold that no one can match.

That's when I was thinking, at the end of the day, Tony did everything he could, and I was completely wrong.

I once said he would never lead his comrades through barbed wire in war.

He said he would just cut the barbed wire.

That's when I snorted, thinking that such a 'hero' would never do such a thing.It turns out, however, that he was the one who led his comrades through the barbed wire.

He sacrificed himself, but I live on.

At that time, I was thinking, Tony should not sacrifice himself, he has a happy family, he is very important in this era, even if the identity of Iron Man is removed, this era still needs him.But I'm different, I'm an outdated person, I don't belong to this era.

No matter how much this era praises my deeds and how many people worship me, it is useless. I have been severely abandoned by the era.

The worst humiliation that fate can bestow upon a man is to throw him into an age wholly strange to him.There, everything he knew was gone, and everything he loved was gone. *

My connection with this era is so pitiful, and it has been relentlessly lost as time goes on.

I think it's up to me to snap my fingers. I should have sacrificed in the past. The time I'm living now is all picked up.So it is only right for me to sacrifice in the present moment.

But it's just my thinking, no matter how firm my belief is, it can't change the fact.

And when I think of faith, I think of a sentence Tony once said to me.

"We shouldn't compromise, we should change it." I was still angry with Tony about the registration act, and I didn't understand what Tony had paid for the act.

Tony took a deep look at me, entangled in anger, panic, and fear. I couldn't understand all kinds of complex expressions at that time, but I didn't understand until now, and realized that if I let go of my mouth at that time, we wouldn't have reached the last one. situation.

"Steve, you know, there are times when beliefs don't work, and we have to compromise with reality."

"We don't live in an ideal world."

Once again, he was right, belief doesn't work, it just makes you feel powerless.

Reality tells you over and over again, recognize your damn mistakes, admit your damn mistakes, stop being proud of your beliefs, your pride won't do anything for you, it will only make the pain worse.

It's a pity that I learned this truth too late, and I couldn't say sorry to Tony myself and tell him that you are the right one.

People will always cherish what they have lost. This is an eternal truth.

I've had so many opportunities to apologize to Tony in the past, but I didn't.

There were so many chances to get close to Tony's heart in the past, but I didn't.

There used to be so many...

So many pasts, so many presents.

Looking back, I realize that the amount of time I spent with Tony wasn't that much of a stretch.

During the Battle of New York, we were not familiar with each other and had different ideas. I still disagree with Tony's approach.

After the Ultron incident, Tony often fell into self-blame, and at the same time he had to fight Hydra, and he didn't have much time.

Then came the civil war.

The Civil War that changed everything.

In the nearly seven years from the Civil War to the present, we have seen him pitifully infrequently, not a few days if converted into days.

Then we managed to clear up our suspicions, and it turned out...

No one knew how happy I was when Tony handed me the shield.Of course, what makes me happy is not the shield, but his forgiveness.

"If you keep it in my place, it will be taken by Morgan to go skiing. In order to avoid such a tragedy, it should be returned to you."

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