star shift

Pei Shan really wanted to wait for something to happen, but he didn't wait for Tang Liyan to open his mouth until some brat outside the window yelled again, so he had to tentatively ask, "Acquaintances? Are...how familiar?"

"Oh? Now it's my turn, isn't it?"

Pei Shan boldly pointed at the bedside table, "Well, tell me about this photo?" Then he asked tentatively, "Is it convenient?"

The person who needed to answer also stared at the photo for a long time, as if being haunted by a terrible dream, the whole person seemed to be floating outside the body, and it was not until Pei Shan called out a few more words that he finally regained his senses.

"That is Teacher Li Feng."

The guess in his heart was suddenly confirmed, but Pei Shan didn't feel the dull pain in the afternoon, and even had some "it's true" mentality.He wanted to ask again, but he didn't dare to ask, for fear that Tang Liyan would tell something about the past that he could not accept.But after thinking about it, it seems that I have no right to "not accept", or even say a word of distress.

"Want to say it?" Pei Shan asked, "If you don't want to, I'll change it."

"The fact that you're asking that question shows you've looked up something, right?"

Pei Shan nodded honestly, and got a relieved smile from the other party, "What did the news say? I want to see if it's still the same after all these years."

Pei Shan recounted the line he had sorted out as gently as possible. When talking about the scandal between Tang Jing and Li Feng, he saw Tang Liyan holding the can tightly.

The body of the can was pinched and deformed, and the beer inside was also squeezed out of foam and gurgled out.

Pei Shan took the beer from his hand, and patted Tang Liyan on the shoulder in a gesture of comforting his friend.

Tang Liyan waved his hand, indicating that he was fine, "Actually, I have no right to criticize others. After all, I am no different from those people."

"I've known Mr. Li for a long time. At the end of 03, I was preparing for the college entrance examination. He and my dad were old classmates, so he often came to my house to help me with my homework."

At that time, Tang Liyan still had a nominally harmonious family, and Guan Ligeng was still called "Tang Ligeng".Guan Xin and Tang were busy with their careers every day and rarely stayed at home, but Li Feng spent more time with Tang Liyan.

Li Feng is a very good teacher, he is persuasive and gentle, and he is easy to gain children's trust.Under his influence, Tang Liyan even developed many habits that were not commensurate with him.

Such as photography, such as excerpts.At that time, Tang Liyan loved to freeze everything beautiful, no matter in words or in video.

Seeing the malt-flavored liquid dripping onto Tang Liyan's shirt, Pei Shan hurriedly wiped it off with a piece of paper, "Then your father was exposed... sexuality?"

"Well. The whole world is scolding him. From marriage fraud, homosexuality, all the way to all the roles he has played." Tang Liyan let him rub it, as if his soul was out of his body, as if he was reading a narration that had nothing to do with him, " Anyway, it’s pretty darn good. My mother was like losing her soul during that time, arguing with him every day, wanting a divorce, about "how to divide the equity", "how to divide the house and children", I just listened in the other room, also dare not speak."

At that time Tang Liyan had just figured out his own sexuality, and when he saw the news that people were scolding homosexuals to death, he was terrified and kept hiding it from his parents.The couple had been arguing for less than half a year, and they had "negotiated" no less than five times about the equity issue of Guanghe Cooperation Company.Tang Jing insisted that he had no infidelity in marriage, and he had no major faults, so he could not accept too harsh divorce terms.

"My dad is too much, to be honest." Tang Liyan smiled bitterly, "Actually, the psychological trauma he caused to my mother is irreversible, even if he really loses the entire company to her, it's okay. Anyway, it's not difficult for him to earn more .But he just clings to such a small benefit, saying that he did nothing wrong, and even feels that he is wronged."

"It just so happens that he and Mr. Li are old schoolmates and have always had a good relationship, so he insisted on inviting someone to my house for a drink, and sent us all away, saying that he wanted to have a good drink."

"I was still living in school at that time, and I could only get my mobile phone every Sunday." Tang Liyan said, "I really didn't expect that as soon as I turned on the phone, I would see news about them."

The impact of those two naked men copulating on Tang Liyan was no less than an earthquake.He suppressed his nausea and finished watching the video, went to the toilet to vomit until his stomach acid came out, and then returned to masochistic, zooming in and zooming in until he could see the blush on their faces.

Pei Shan put his hands over Tang Liyan's eyes, not wanting him to think of that video, "Okay, it's okay. Let's not talk about it."

"I lost my appearance when I came home, but no one cares. I am the only minor in my family of four. I don't know what they are arguing with their lawyers back and forth every day." Tang Liyan lightened Pei Shan's hand He took it off lightly, and continued, "The court finally ruled that me and my father, Guan Ligeng and my mother. The company and the villa also belong to my mother."

Guan Xin took away most of the property; Tang actually cheated on the marriage, cheated in marriage, and was photographed drunk several times after the verdict, so there is no possibility of a comeback in the entertainment industry.So he turned his anger on the child and began beating and abusing him.

As for Li Feng, it was miserable.Some people raped him at the school where he taught, threatened him with paint razors, and even pulled banners to boycott him at the performance of "Unfortunate Life".

"Did Teacher Li look for you later?" Pei Shan asked.

"Yes." Tang Liyan's voice began to tremble, as if he was about to grab a life-saving straw, he grabbed Pei Shan's wrist violently, "But I didn't see him."

Pei Shan thought he was soft-hearted, but when he put it on the young man at that time, he felt that it was only natural for him not to see Li Feng.But Tang Liyan exerted a lot of strength and repeated word by word, "Why didn't I see him?"

Not only did he not see him, but he also poured all his anger towards Tang Jing on his mentor, and insulted him through the door with swear words that he had never said in his life.Until Li Feng was far away, as if venting his anger, he tore up the sentences he had copied and the photos he had taken, pinpointed where Li Feng had passed, and threw them down from the upstairs, even because he missed Li Feng. And depressed for a while.

Pei Shan vaguely guessed that the matter was not simple.That photo didn't seem to be as ambiguous as he thought, and the relationship between Tang Liyan and Li Feng was probably far from what he thought.

With mixed feelings, Pei Shan raised his hand to smooth Tang Liyan's bangs, and comforted: "Because at that time, you were too young to have the ability to understand the whole picture."

"It's not too young. When I got home, it was just in time for my birthday. Are you surprised that my parents didn't take good care of me when they were together, but on my birthday, they pushed out a cake and said they would celebrate my birthday .As a result, a happy birthday turned into a murder scene."

Goujitiaoqiang is right.Birthday celebrations are just a pretense.Tang Jing just wanted to find an excuse to call Guan Xin out, so that she would stop buying news to suppress him, and stop blocking all resources and forcing him to have nowhere to go.

Tang Liyan was watching the orange turn into water while listening to the buzzing quarrel in his ears.Tang actually kept saying that Guan Xin was a lunatic, and told her to withdraw all the news, saying that she wanted money and wanted to be crazy, and that she was fueling the black news; Guan Xin responded with even worse words, even Li Feng scolded together.

Tang Liyan stared at the cake and started to lose his mind, thinking that in the drama that Li Feng had shown him before, he compared "eternity" to "a too short moment that just disappeared". *[1]

How short is it?Before Tang Liyan could blink, he saw Tang Jing pick up the knife in his hand and stab Guan Xin in the chest.Guan Ligeng desperately went to hug the crazy Tang Jing, turned around and yelled at Tang Liyan, telling him to call the police for an ambulance.

Pei Shanxin was pulled together, and he didn't care about not crossing the line, so he opened his arms and hugged the person in his memory.

"I don't know what I was thinking at the time. I thought all this would not have happened without Li Feng." Tang Liyan pressed his head into Pei Shan's chest, "So I dropped out of Ningda University and became obsessed with that...you know what? ?I can’t tell, that is, heartbeat, fresh, dangerous, or something like that. The last time you asked about my scar, it’s mostly from the time I injured myself in a racing boxing. I don’t have any empathy, nor I feel like there is something in this world that I can miss. Just like what Guan Ligeng said, he took me to see a psychiatrist a lot during that time. They all said it was some kind of trauma. There is a fart trauma!"

Tang Liyan lived a ridiculous life for about three years, as if escaping, he no longer listened to anything about Tang Jing, and he no longer paid attention to Li Feng.Whenever Guan Ligeng mentioned these two people, he would make a big fuss.

"I originally planned to just hang around like this. I'm going to die anyway. Why is death not death?" Tang Liyan said, "But when I was about to graduate, I received a letter, which was addressed to my roommate. Signed Li Feng. I only found out when I opened the letter that he lost his career, stage, reputation and everything. He was severely depressed and kept sending emails to the media and my brother. But when I found him, he had already..."

At that time, Tang Liyan blocked all of Li Feng's contact information, and Li Feng only had Tang Jing's home address, so he wrote letters there for three years, but Guan Ligeng stopped them.Li Feng did not get feedback for a long time, and his various public channels were restricted again. Under the double collapse of economy and psychology, he chose a very tragic way of suicide, and before that, he sent a letter to Tang Liyan's school. a letter.

Pei Shan had already figured out a rough idea in his heart, his heart was already twisted into a ball, and he hugged the person in his arms even tighter, "What did you say in the letter?"

"Ms. Li said that he didn't apologize to anyone." Tang Liyan bit his lower lip, painful and stubborn, "He said he thought there was something wrong with the wine. It was Tang who took the medicine!"

"That old bastard has been secretly in love with Mr. Li for many years, but because of his old friend's face and his status as a public figure, he couldn't do anything. It may be that those days made him a little crazy. He thought he would bring him to his home It’s very safe to come here, and no one will know if you take the medicine, give me a fuck, and scare you with money.”

"But he didn't expect that my brother installed a pinhole camera at home." Tang Liyan smiled wryly, "Yes, the video was released by our family, and the news and promotions were also bought by my mother."

"Teacher Li tried to clarify, but all his accounts are in a state where he will be scolded for saying anything, and all the blog posts that help him are suppressed by my brother. Teacher Li tried to find me, beg for mercy, beg our family... Let him go."

"But I didn't see him. And after my parents divorced, I changed schools and moved houses. I even, never got a letter."

Guan Ligeng followed Guan Xin into the studio since he was a child, and he and Guan Xin took care of the company's affairs, so Guan Xin's image on Guan Ligeng's side was much more three-dimensional than Tang Jing's.

After Tang Jing's sexuality was exposed, Guan Ligeng felt that the sky was falling, and he listened to his parents arguing about the division of property every day, and he only wanted to let the wicked reap the consequences.But Tang Jing has always been very careful, there is no evidence of cheating or deceitful marriage.

Guan Ligeng doubted the relationship between Li Feng and Tang Jing more than once, and this suspicion reached its peak when he knew that Li Feng was coming from home.Driven by both anger and profit, Guan Ligeng persuaded Guan Xin to install a pinhole camera at home, and borrowed Guan Xin's contacts and company resources to spread the video news to everyone in Ningcheng.

Unknowingly, the moon was already hanging overhead.

Pei Shan maintained a posture, his eyes were involuntarily wet.He just listened to a few words, and his heart ached like this. How difficult it must be for Tang Liyan, who has experienced all this, to get out.

"I don't blame you." Pei Shan held Tang Liyan's face in his hands, saw the red eye circles, and couldn't help kissing him, "I really don't blame you."

"No. When Teacher Li came to me, if I hadn't chased him away, or asked my brother a little more...it wouldn't have happened." Tang Liyan's voice was a little hoarse, between crying and pain, " I am the same as those who insulted him."

"You're not." Pei Shan felt his hands were shaking and his heart was throbbing, "You're not!"

"I went to him when I saw the letter. I drove so fast I nearly got run over—but I was late, I was late! Do you know what I saw?"

"Corpse, another corpse. The yellow line is so long that I can see a person lying on the ground from a distance of several meters. The brain and blood are mixed together, and the face can't be recognized clearly. But I can still see it. The clothes Mr. Li wears, he likes the clothes the most, it is dirty and old - I think he may have been so poor in those years that he has no spare money to buy new clothes. I..."

Tang Liyan was choked up as he spoke, and Pei Shan kissed his eyes again and again, but the tears could no longer be held back, and his voice trembled as he flowed: "I'm really an asshole, it's really useless. I'll go talk to Guan Liyan Geng Nao, I asked him to return those letters to me, send a notice, and give Teacher Li a clean slate."

"But Guan Ligeng said that the letter was torn up, and it was all Teacher Li's one-sided words. No one can prove whether it is true or not. He knows all the media in Ningcheng. I have no choice but to be angry. I just graduated and have no connections. The money is all given by my family, I can’t escape, I can’t escape! But I want to leave him, find a place farthest in a straight line, find a place where he can’t reach, find a place where I can breathe The place."

"So you come to Yancheng to be a policeman, and you are also—" Pei Shan's tone was very light, as if he was trying to put a frightened baby to sleep.

"Yes. I think if I were on the law enforcement side, would I be more patient? Look through Teacher Li's autobiography or manuscripts, look at the time of the depression diagnosis, check the physical condition of the main character in the video, and listen to their difficulties. I Looking back at those videos now, I can clearly feel that Teacher Li is not in the right state, but why did I—”

Tang Liyan was completely choked up while speaking, but still insisted on speaking vaguely.On this suffocatingly hot night, pointing to a small photo, I recalled the man who jumped off the 36th floor like a butterfly and a stack of papers.

"Liyan, look at me." Pei Shan was so twisted that his internal organs were constricted, and he kissed Tang Liyan's face one after another, from the scar at the end of his eyebrows to the tears on his cheek.

Whether it's a game or a little sincerity between them, Pei Shan just wants to hug this person who seldom cries.

"You look at me."

The young police officer raised his head and grabbed Pei Shan's wet front.

"Unfortunately, I don't have a time machine, so I can't travel to your place to give you a hug." Pei Shan nodded his with the tip of his nose, "But if I can, I want to tell 23-year-old Tang Liyan: This world is crazy, Inhumane, corrupt—”

"But you have always been sober, gentle, and spotless."*[2]

The author says:

[1] Excerpt from the musical "Butterfly", "Verse"

[2] From "Sagan's Love Letter to Sartre"