star shift

"Sit down and look up! Okay, the filming is over, next one."

The old-fashioned Wanling camera emitted blue smoke from time to time, and the recruits sat down one by one.After taking the photo, even if it is saved, it will be included in the new army list.

As soon as Tang Liyan finished filming, he was squeezed out by the crowd and took several steps back.

With this stagger, he bumped into someone and stepped on him lightly. Tang Liyan said "Sorry" several times, raised his head apologetically, and suddenly froze.

"If I don't come, when are you going to tell me?" Pei Shan stood where he was, without yelling or responding. He just asked coldly, "It's been half a month since the new army's conscription began. .”

"Xiaoshan?" Tang Liyan panicked immediately, stuck to him at a loss, grabbed the corner of his clothes, and Pei Shan broke free.

"Go back and talk."

Along the way, Tang Liyan followed behind, like a student who made a mistake, he only dared to follow Pei Shanmai.

After dawdling back to Xiangyuan Building, Pei Shan closed the door and asked, "So, where are you going. Guangzhou?"

Without giving Tang Liyan a chance to speak, this question stunned the young man, and he was stunned for a while before he realized it, and hurriedly waved his hands and said, "No, no, not going to Guangzhou!"

Tang Liyan's voice was a little aggrieved, and his fingers were also hooked to the corner of Pei Shan's clothes, "Can you stop being angry first? Sir, Mr. Pei, I didn't want to hide it from you."

It's just that the snow was so stunning that day, and the atmosphere was too suitable for a reunion, Tang Liyan really couldn't open his mouth to say it.After all, it is not known when this farewell will be fulfilled.

"At first I thought that my husband hated me and bothered me. It just so happened that the theater troupe broke up again. From now on, I won't be paid or have a place to live. I... just signed up." Tang Liyan tentatively moved closer to Pei Shan, "But the day you came to me, the audit results hadn't come down yet. I thought I wouldn't be able to pass it. Who would have thought..."

"Who would have thought that not only did you enter, but you were also an elite soldier?" Pei Shan was angry and reluctant, wishing to tie the child by his side and tell him not to run around, "You are promising. Such a difficult place to enter, you are a light singer Go in easily?"

How could you not be angry.The elite team, listening to the scenery, is promoted quickly, but it is all in exchange for life and blood!

Tang Liyan couldn't tell whether the husband was complimenting him or being sarcastic, so he could only murmur, "It's not easy, there are quite a lot of physical examination items." Of course, Pei Shan stopped his words in his eyes.

The teacher who had been teaching for several years was at a loss for words at this time, and thousands of words were melted into the hands that waved helplessly, turning into a hug, taking the child into his arms.

"I have to go?" Pei Shan couldn't believe it himself. He, who was accustomed to the teachings of his family and country, would say this. "The battlefield is not like a stage, it is all true!"

Tang Liyan knew that Pei Shan was reluctant to part with him, so he endured the pain in his heart and his nose was sore, holding back his tears and said, "How can we not go? The list has been made long ago. If you don't go, you will be considered a deserter."

Pei Shan had never been so embarrassing in his life, he burst into tears unconsciously, and after a while, Tang Liyan's skirt was soaked.

"Xiao Shan, don't cry. Once you cry, I really won't be able to leave." Tang Liyan was so anxious that he didn't know what to do. He held up Pei Shan's face and looked at him, then kissed his eyes, "Then I Don't go, don't go, okay?"

Said not to go, but still impossible.Even, Pei Shan didn't even get the quota to see off the family members, so he could only wave his hand to the crowded train from afar across the platform.

But there are too many people, too many, so many that each recruit is like an ant, densely packed, unable to see his lover's face, hear the call of love, and even have no way of knowing where he is.

Pei Shan followed the train all the way, chasing all the way, exhausted by the sound of bang chi bang chi, and sat down towards the railroad tracks.

After that, Pei Shan's life became much more boring.The school was closed, and Wanwan went to work in the factory again. When he was free, he took care of Pei Lin. In his free time, he went to tutor girls from rich families and tutor them in their exams.

The girl he is teaching, named Ruan Qing, will be admitted to a girls' school next year.Pei Shan could always think of Wan Wan when he looked at her, so he did his best to teach her.

When there was no class, Pei Shan ran to the post office—first he went straight to the "death list", searched for it in fear, then heaved a long sigh of relief, and then went to the window to ask if there was a letter signed by "Zhi Bai" .

In the first month after Tang Liyan left, the letters came frequently, detailing how good his food was and how friendly everyone was to him.When Pei Shanguang read the letter, he knew that he was whitewashing the peace.How could it be possible for recruits to go in?

But Pei Shan still sent back the same text, although he didn't know if it would be delivered, but anyway, let him know what he was doing.

He wrote about Ruan Qing's homework, Wanwan's work, and Pei Lin's illness in the letter, and sometimes secretly expressed some love in the letter—not as bold as Tang Liyan, who only dared to poke at the ground, and the honeysuckle Go in, or imitate Tang Liyan's handwriting, and say that you want to send him a winter.Although the wait for this kind of day is impatient, at least there is something to look forward to.

This hope was quenched in the third month.

Tang Liyan seemed to have changed the company and the station, and he never received a letter from the familiar place.Pei Shan was so anxious that he ran to the post office every day, looking for each one on the death list, and he had to experience a lot of ups and downs every time.Pei Shan felt that if this kind of life continued, he might go crazy.The only thing that can calm him down is probably the radio.

In the beginning, Pei Shan would watch the war schedule and listen to the station at the station where he found Zhibai, but later he didn't know where he was, so he simply listened to the news from the South China region from morning to night when he had time.It made Wang Linou laugh at him all the time, why did Pei Shan, who didn't care about anything except academics, start paying attention to these things.

"Classes will resume in two days, please calm down and don't bring these things to class." Wang Linou persuaded him, "The children nowadays are all young, I'm afraid they will run out again during class .”

Fortunately, school started, so Pei Shan felt that he would not go crazy.It’s just that every time I go home from get out of class, I’m still the first to go to the post office, line up for half a day, put my heart on the fire, and still can’t see the shadow of the letter.

In the end, is it disconnected?Or is that kid not caring about himself anymore?

Pei Shan has no way of knowing.

[Mr. Pei himself.

This is the hundredth day since I left you.And I feel like I'm going to die already.

This war zone has been fought too fiercely, and we have no chance to deliver the message.I have often feared that I would die, so I hid this letter in the mahogany chest you gave me before you left.Hope, I can hand him over to you.

I have thought countless times, why did I apply for that name in the first place, and why did I have to go through this life for nothing?I even planned to run away, to run back to you.But I definitely can't have this kind of thinking. I still want to go back in a dignified manner and grow into the person you like.

Mr. Pei, please be sure to cover your cold hands and feet, and don't save dinner for a penny and a half.Don't worry that I will forget you, because every night when the sky is full of gunfire, I think about you over and over again.

[…]

In the sixth month, there was no trace of snow in Yancheng.Only the chirping of cicadas and birds, and the coconut trees that always cover the sky and the sun remain.

During these six months, Pei Shan celebrated her 26th birthday, and Ruan Qing went to school smoothly.The elder brother of the Ruan family knew Pei Shan's family background, and asked his younger sister if she needed some help from time to time.

In fact, Pei Shan can understand the heart of the girl's family.When he was teaching, he could often see Ruan Qing's eyes glued to his body, just like the white ones at the beginning, he wanted to look but didn't dare to look, but the corners of his mouth couldn't help but curl up.But it is absolutely impossible for him to respond to this thought, so apart from teaching, he does not even give the slightest chance to greet each other every day, and even dare not accept Brother Ruan's kindness, even if it breaks the etiquette, don't go too far with them. close.

It's just that brother Ruan's doting on his sister is far beyond Pei Shan's imagination.He went directly to Pei Lin and talked about Pei Shan's age and Ruan Qing's excellence.Naturally, Pei Lin was happy to make friends with the Ruan family, and when Pei Shan came back, he sat down with him and brought up his lifelong affairs.

"Impossible." Pei Shan refused flatly, "The girl has a bright future, so there's no reason to let someone like me fall here."

Pei Lin didn't know where the strength came from, so he smashed his radio into pieces and yelled at him: "What kind of person do you think you are? The Ruan family took the initiative to mention it to you, but you don't want to? Then who are you willing to talk to? ah?"

Pei Lin's lung disease was so angry that he relapsed. Although he had no energy to force him, it also cost his sister and brother his family money to get medicine for him.As a result, Pei Shan had to find another teaching position and an editorial job, and often kept himself busy until late at night.

That's fine, when I get busy, my head doesn't turn around very much, and I don't have much time to think about where that person in the sky has gone.

But once he lay back on the bed, Pei Shan would have nightmares all night long. The white of his dream was swallowed by the flames of war, and he dreamed of a bloody figure pushing open the door. Write down your thoughts quickly, and read them to the night over and over again.

By the way, where did you go?

By the way, you're thinking about me, right?Think of me and you'll be able to come back, right?

[…

The happiness mentioned before is fake, all of them are fake.I shouldn't have told you these terrible things, but I am really worried that if you are not prepared, you will be very sad when you lose me-I don't know if you will, but if I am, you will live in the shadows for the rest of your life.

To be honest, I have been through the gate of hell many times.In the third month of being here, I was transferred to the front line.The Sichuan brother I mentioned to you before was just dug out of the corpse by me.But I was also hit by a stray bullet, so I couldn't write a letter for a month.

I wanted to ask the nurse sister to help me, but they are so busy, taking care of the wounded day and night, I really can't bear it.I had no choice but to let my longing go away with the wind along with the gunpowder smoke.Wait a little longer, I think, at most half a year, I will be able to go back. ]

When the autumn of the next year came, Pei Lin's illness completely dragged him down.The man who was half-wrapped by the smoke and lung disease was lying on the couch, lifeless, and his only entrustment was to his son.

"Xiao Shan, you have always been sensible." Pei Lin's wrist was so thin that it was a bone, and he held Pei Shan, "Wanwan probably won't be able to marry. Even if she does, the child will have a different surname. But you, the girl of the Ruan family, is so Nice offer, I don't see why you don't want it."

Pei Lin's cough was harsh, and the Confucian education that Pei Shan had received for most of his life did not allow him to refute these words, so he could only stand aside and protest with silence.

"Ruan Qing, I'll be graduating in two years. You can get engaged first. At least let me see some light in the two years I've been alive, right?"

Pei Shan still didn't speak, he helped Pei Lin back to bed, coaxed him to sleep with a good voice, and then went back to his room.

The repaired radio didn't work as well as it used to. Pei Shan lay down holding it, tuned in, and when he heard the rustling sound, he suddenly said: "The whole army is wiped out."

completely annihilated.

Obviously the person who contracted the disease was Pei Lin, but Pei Shan coughed in the middle of the night, his eyes were red and swollen, he asked for leave early in the morning, and went to the post office with his clothes disheveled like a lost soul.

The line was very long, and countless men and women like Pei Shan were waiting before dawn, waiting for the list to be pronounced dead or reborn.

The post office didn't open until eight o'clock.Pei Shan was too nervous to walk, and could only be pushed by the crowd, staggering towards the gate.In fact, there were too many people, and he couldn’t see clearly what was hanging at the door. He only heard someone at the post office say, “Don’t wait, most of the elite troops in South China are gone.” “The list of casualties is too long to count. Come again", and so on.

Now that it's autumn, there really shouldn't be thunder.But Pei Shan really heard the bolt from the blue.That sudden blow made him dizzy, a white light flashed in front of his eyes, and his feet softened and he fell face down.The post office was bustling with people, and no one cared about the mourning and fainting person. After all, there were plenty of people rushing to the ground in the yard. It was not until after noon that someone with good intentions sent Pei Shan to the hospital.

"It's nothing serious, I'm in a hurry." The young doctor's eyebrows and eyes looked a bit like Tang Liyan, "What? Someone at home is in the war zone?"

Pei Shan didn't say yes or nod, but just looked at that face for a long time, silently thinking about which one looks like and which one doesn't.Dazed, he shook his head and asked, "Are there any wounded soldiers who have retired from the hospital recently?"

"No, they are basically under the care of the military doctors. Otherwise, they would have died after traveling so far."

Pei Shan only felt buzzing in his ears, and he couldn't remember how he got home or how he saw Wan Wan.

[Mr. Pei, my injury is fully healed.

I can finally write you a long letter properly.I think I made a wrong judgment, half a year may not be enough.Now the situation is not only not good, but worse.I hadn't eaten dry food for two days, and the water was boiled in the river. Many people in the team were not acclimatized and had stomach troubles.Fortunately, I traveled all over China when I was acting, so I am not afraid of these things.The only thing I'm afraid of is not being able to contact you.

I dare not count how long it has been since I left you.I'm afraid I won't be able to hold on and get distracted on the battlefield.

It's horrible, I can hear the shells exploding every day, so that I have severe tinnitus now.Many of my comrades were gone, their hands and feet were blown off, or their foreheads were blown off.At first I would be afraid to look at them, but now, I can collect their bodies, letters, and photos for them without shedding a single tear.

I have the thoughts of many people here.I'm so scared, really, Mr. Pei, please don't laugh at my uselessness, I'm afraid every day, if I die, what will happen to these thoughts, they will rot in the soil, and they will never see the light of day in this life.

So I'm desperate.Run away desperately to see you.

Escape, see you... live, see you! ]

Pei Wanwan didn't shed a few tears for Pei Lin's illness, she was busy for a while.But now that Pei Shan fell ill again, she really couldn't bear the pressure and cried out in front of Pei Shan.

Pei Shan was naturally distressed, and comforted her softly, telling her not to think too much, it was just a temporary anger and it would get better soon.

"I know why you are sick." Pei Wanwan couldn't breathe from crying, she was so anxious to pour water for someone, but she was so angry that she didn't want to give it out, "Because of that little brother from Liyuan, right?"

Pei Shan was so startled that his hands softened. He knocked over a cup of hot water on the bed and didn't have the energy to take care of it. He just grabbed Pei Wanwan's sleeve and asked, "Do you know what you're talking about?"

Pei Wanwan pointed to the radio and asked, "Then do you know what you're doing?"

It is inevitable that she loves her brother, but she is afraid that Pei Shan, like the people in the playbook, will be seduced by something dirty.Tang Liyan is kind, but in her world, the combination of kindness and kindness is not necessarily a good thing, and it is impossible to end well if you risk the world's displeasure.The love and worry in the words are greater than other emotions.

But this is also what Pei Shan dared not argue the most.His mouth was dry with bitter explanations, and in the end he had no choice but to say to Pei Wanwan: "Whether he is dead or alive, are you sure?"

Do you have a letter?

These words seemed to pinch Pei Shan's life, making him unable to say a word.

"Don't worry, there are only a few people on top. Me, Dad." Pei Wanwan pointed at his heart, and asked crying, "Even if there is one more him, he's dead, do you understand?"

There is no reason to give up the heart and soul that is still lingering for a dead person.

How could Pei Shan not understand, but when he thought of the artillery fire in the distance, his internal organs began to churn.How can I die?He didn't even see the list, how could he die?

Pei Shan kept his mouth stubborn, wishing he could drag his sick body to the post office, and refused to let go of the matter of marriage every day he didn't see the person he was looking for on the increasingly long list.

However, no matter how much he tried to withstand the pressure, he did not expect that the girl from the Ruan family was a bold and confident person, even worse than Tang Liyan—she went straight to the university and hung a Banner, confess to him with Xu Zhimo's poem.

Pei Shan had never seen such a straightforward scene, and was completely confused by this incident, but at every intersection and street in Yancheng, he could hear someone congratulating him: Mr. Huaizhang, what a blessing!

[Small!

Please allow me to call you Xiaoshan, okay?Because I am so happy.I don't want to tell you how tragic the scene was, and I haven't eaten or closed my eyes for a few days. I just want to write these four words for you seriously-full, line, big, fast.

I've heard many radio stations say we're all wiped out?Pooh!They must have underestimated the elite troops.How many days of extra training has earned this word "fine"!

Sorry, do you think I'm too impetuous?But I really couldn't hold back the joy and wanted to share it with you.Although in the past year and a half, I lost countless brothers, got more than a dozen scars on my body, and broke a hand and a leg once, but I have grown back whole.I can stand in front of you wearing a medal of merit and a more prestigious military rank.

Xiaoshan, I want to salute you.

These days, I have only dared to hide you in my heart, together with my costumes and women's clothes, in the innermost layer of my duffel bag.

But now I want to salute you in the sun.

My belief, my one and only, my husband.

To you, salute.

Love you forever, Zhibai. ]