Rebirth promises you to love

2003. 6, 1

When I was on duty this morning, I encountered an emergency department. I was so busy that I forgot the agreement with my little cousin and asked her to wait at the door. I was very ashamed.

I hurried out of the department and saw beside my pretty cousin, a tall boy wearing well-cut jeans and a light gray V-neck sweater. He was probably impatient of waiting, and was walking around in circles.He just happened to turn around as I walked past.

Black thin-rimmed glasses, the upturned phoenix eyes still reveal a bit of high-spirited and rebellious through the lenses.The moment he saw me, I don't know if it was my delusional illusion. I saw his eyebrows raised slightly, and a smile appeared on the corner of his lips.

I felt as if I was suffocating, and I couldn't move at that moment.

Fortunately, the reaction was fairly quick, and they didn't let them see my gaffe.

He had heard that his cousin had a boyfriend a long time ago, and the name Han Ruo had already made cocoons in his ears.

He called me brother just like Cheng Cheng, with a sense of intimacy, and a little smile in his slender eyes. I don't know why, but I don't think it's easy for him to show this attitude to others.

I exchanged phone numbers with him, looking forward to seeing him again, Han Ruo.

2003. 7, 4

Make an appointment with my little cousin, come today to get the medical report from me.

Clinically, on the operating table, academic research must also be taken into account.A few years ago, an article was submitted to an international magazine. It has been reviewed several times in the past few years. Recently, it was learned that it is expected to be published.I have been busy revising papers these days, and I have to oncall again. The doctors, nurses, patients, and family members in the corridor are all in a hurry.

He had already slept to the point of being unconscious, when he suddenly heard someone's voice beside him, he opened his eyes, and a solid body with a clear fragrance was right in front of him.I didn't know where I was for a moment, and I only heard a soft voice that was deliberately lowered: "Brother, you are too tired, lean on me for a while."

Maybe it was because my body was too tired at this time, or maybe Han Ruo's voice was too gentle, so I was really rude and fell asleep on him in a daze.

Although it was only 10 minutes, it was already an excellent break for me.

When he woke up, his consciousness was clear, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Han Ruo calmly kneading his waist.

Catching my gaze, his slender eyes approached with kindness, "I had a good fight with Duke Zhou's son last night, and now I still have a backache."

A noble and proud young man has such considerate intentions, probably because he was afraid that I would be embarrassed, so he gave such a cheerful and escaped reason.

I felt like spring sunshine was shining in my heart, and I couldn't help laughing with him.We got closer to each other, and when he patted me on the shoulder to remind me not to overwork, I clearly felt my heart beat eight beats faster.

……

2005. 7, 16

Han Ruo was hospitalized for acute appendicitis and underwent surgery.

Chi Cheng, an international long-distance caller, told me that Han Ruo's grandfather passed away, and the family was in chaos, with no one to take care of him, so he asked me to take care of him.

Seeing him with a sallow complexion on the hospital bed, taking off his glasses, and a clean face, he felt heartache.

A man like him, lying on the hospital bed and allowing me to be fished by mermaids, made me think it was a joke made by God.

Thinking about it in a trance, a chance encounter, the two sat together in a Costa coffee shop for an afternoon, Han Ruo ordered a double serving of Italian espresso, no milk or sugar, and he would drink it without frowning and smiling laughed at my american coffee too weak.

In the quiet afternoon, half a day's leisure was stolen.His slender fingers brushed the title page of the book, and his clear male voice sounded in my ears, God saves fate, and the doctor is the only hand of God.

I feel lucky for the first time.

I am glad that I am a doctor, I am glad that I can be by his side at this time, and I am glad that I am the only one who sees him like this.

……

2006. 10, 3

Han Ruo is married.

It was planned from the beginning, seeing him as beautiful as a flower, full of children and grandchildren.I have never expected that my secret and ugly intentions can be answered.

It's just that I didn't expect that my heart would hurt like this when things came to an end. I wish I didn't have this heart because of the pain.

I have been a doctor for so many years, and I have seen so many life and death, joys and sorrows, and many family members have exhausted their wealth to ask for a miracle.

But a miracle is a miracle only because the probability of it happening is close to zero.

Even if there is a little bit of extravagance, to expect a man like Han Ruo to be attracted to me, a big man, I think it is a dream.

Drunk for the first time in my life, and hope never to wake up again.

……

2007. 9, 4

After tidying up a few passbooks and salary cards at home, I took back the IOU with Han Ruo's name on it.

Han Ruo, the two big characters flying like dragons and phoenixes, was emotionally agitated when he wanted to write, his gestures were slightly bent unnaturally, and his force penetrated the back of the paper.

Life had forced him so far!

In the evening, Chi Cheng was drinking in a bar in Houhai and asked me to accompany him.

The marriage of the golden boy and the jade girl is not perfect. Han Ruo's mother lives in their house, and there is a small quarrel every three days, and a big quarrel every five days.

From the noisy position of the salted egg scissors at the meal to the arrangement of the clothes when taking a shower, one day she blamed her for coming home too late and having too close a relationship with male friends, and the next day she blamed her for frequent business trips and disregarding her family.

The proud son of heaven at the beginning is now an ordinary office worker. Although the monthly salary is generous, he cannot afford to be dragged down by an incompetent father.

The special attention of a successful boss, LV bags, Chanel earrings, Tiffiny pendants, bombardment of extravagant gifts, compared with the mother-in-law who blames the husband for his frustration and indifference, of course, the former is more attractive.

Persuade her until her mouth turns bitter.

My happiness is already very humble, just looking at Han Ruo's happiness.However, such happiness is so fragile now.

A woman who is in the blessing and does not know the blessing.

But I have no right to scold her.

……

2011. 11, 9

Chi Cheng, my dear little cousin, her living body has now become a skin in the morgue.

One dead body and two lives, and the flesh and blood of that person was still in the belly.

Then came the sad news of Han Ruo's mother's death.

And the man whom I have been thinking about for eight years is still asleep on the hospital bed.

There is nothing worse than this!

A big man cried hoarsely like he was insane, and was finally carried into the lounge by his colleagues.

……

2012. 1, 1

Knowing this for the first time today, I cried with joy.

Han Ruo woke up.

I know how difficult his road ahead will be.

However, he woke up, and I was able to regain the hope of life.

……

January 2012, 1 New Year's Eve

Crazy in love for many years, unexpectedly entered the room overnight.

I don't know if it's lucky or sad.

The seven-year itch and the eight-year war of resistance are over.

It will be our ninth year together soon.

It's just a new year, so dark, and his health is getting worse.

I am a doctor, and for the first time hated myself for being a doctor.

Because modern medicine can't do anything for the person I love.

Look, even though this person didn't fall in love with me, he gave me so many emotions for the first time. I really can't imagine that there is no him in this world.

Without Han Ruo, how could Su Ruchun stand on her own?

……

The diary is like Su Ruchun, clean, tidy and elegant, full of variety, short in length, but it records the man's affection for the past 9 years.

It turned out that my life was full of ups and downs, and this person was by my side.

Closing the diary, I used four words to describe it in my heart: surprised and angry.

Surprisingly, this man who has been with me for 9 years actually has such feelings for me.

The essay I wrote for the advanced English writing final exam I took in college supported the legalization of homosexuality.

In my college days, I even had affairs with a few boys who concealed their sexuality.But it's just greedy for novelty, and I have always made up my mind to find a matching woman to have children. Two men together, after all, have no future.

However, such feelings, placed on Su Ruchun, who is a modest gentleman and star-eyed, still make me stunned like a puppet.

What's more, it has remained unchanged for so many years.

No wonder, he is 4 years older than me, and he is not married until now, and he doesn't even have an ambiguous partner.

What makes me angry is the couple who have been married for many years. I didn't know that there were green clouds floating above my head. I thought that the husband and wife were happy and had a happy life.

But Su Ruchun knew the inside story well and didn't reveal it.Just watch me become a turtle egg for ten thousand years.

And the anger towards Su Ruchun turned out to be a little bigger than the secret betrayal towards Chi Cheng.

Just think about it, think of Su Ruchun's cold star-like eyes, hands that smell of disinfectant, and the feeling of walking while holding him a few centimeters taller than him with the attitude of "brothers are good", such a person To actually love me deeply, to have loved me for so many years, to be so sickly, and to have my heart beating wildly.

The face is red and the ears are hot, and the symptoms are like estrus in puberty.

If, if I can do it again, I must warn my 22-year-old self not to know this man named Su Ruchun, not to break into his life.

If you can have another life, if you really meet this man named Su Ruchun again, then you must love him well and promise him love to repay the debt of love in this life.