Nongben is passionate

"Why do you look like this?" Xie Mingyu pursed her lips in disgust.

Xie Xuan forced a smile, looked at Xie Mingyu in front of him - sunny, healthy, proud, mature - how many times he had thought about what it would be like to see Xie Mingyu again, thought that he would get angry and angry, thought that he would speak sarcasticly, I also thought that I would not be able to remember anything, I would not care about anything, I just wanted to look at him and hold his hand tightly - but now that Xie Mingyu was really standing in front of him, he didn't know what to say ——

Xie Mingyu looked around the garden before asking, "Where's the rice pocket?"

Probably the reason why Xie Xuan often took his rice bag for a walk. The animal was obviously his pet, but he was closer to Xie Xuan. Whenever Xie Xuan appeared in the yard, he would always run to him affectionately, following him. of.Xie Mingyu didn't really care about that dog, but was just looking for something to talk about.

Xie Xuan said: "I'm old and dead. I lay down for two days and didn't get up again. It happened years ago."

Xie Mingyu was suffocated all of a sudden, he looked at Xie Xuan's desolate expression, and felt that all the words had become powerless, but he tried hard to say something, "Third Brother——"

Xie Xuan looked away, "You just came back, go and rest for a while, we'll talk about it at night if you have anything to do."

He didn't ask him where he went or why he left, as if he just went out this morning and came back naturally at night.

Xie Mingyu went upstairs, the window of his room was facing the garden, he could see Xie Xuan lying there, under the strong sunlight, he looked so light, as if he was going to disappear in an instant, Xie Mingyu's heart contracted suddenly Cramp up.

In the evening, he went downstairs to eat, and the tabby cat lying at Xie Xuan's feet in the afternoon suddenly rushed up to the dining table, lowered his head and sniffed the dishes, then raised his head, with a reluctantly satisfied expression, Take a slow walk on the dining table with graceful steps, like a king inspecting his territory.He watched it interestingly, and stopped the servant who was about to carry it down, "Where is the cat?"

"It belongs to the third young master."

Xie Mingyu held it in his hands, the cat was not afraid of strangers at all, squinted at him, and yawned selfishly, showing its pink tongue and sharp teeth.

When Xie Xuan went downstairs, Xie Mingyu had already named the cat "Jack". Xie Xuan was taken aback for a moment. Xie Mingyu casually stroked the cat's smooth fur with one hand, raised her eyelids and looked at Xie Xuan, "Isn't this for you?" Mine? Then I should have the right to name it!"

Xie Xuan recalled that when he brought this cat back from Zhoutang, he was almost like a boy in love at that time, but now that it has finally arrived at its real owner, Xie Xuan was a little unimpressed, "Just as long as you like it."

He sat down to eat, and Han Ruoying happened to be away, and there were only the two of them at the dinner table, and there was only the sound of cups and plates clinking lightly, and in the middle of eating, Xie Mingyu said, "Do you still remember that Lixia took me to Zhoutang? Does that count?"

Xie Xuan paused for a while holding the chopsticks, looked down at the plate of roasted eggplants in front of her and said, "Lixia has already passed."

It has been too long since the beginning of summer when he said this, Xie Mingyu understood the meaning of his words——

"But I want to go." His tone was firm, his eyes were as bright as the North Star on a summer night.

Xie Xuan raised his head, looked at him for a while, and then said, "Then go tomorrow."

After Han Ruoying came back, when she heard that Xie Xuan was going to Zhoutang, she tried her best to stop her, "What is so important that you need to go there yourself? The most important thing for you now is to take good care of yourself—"

She wanted to continue, but Xie Xuan immediately blocked Han Ruoying's mouth by saying "I have something to do". Facing her son who has grown up and killed him decisively, she lost her previous strong control and dared not interfere easily with Xie Xuan. Xuan's decision, "Then let Xiao He drive you, or I will go with you—"

"Mingyu will go with me."

Han Ruoying shut her mouth, feeling a little unhappy that Xie Xuan asked Xie Mingyu to accompany her instead of going by herself.She didn't like Xie Mingyu very much, she thought he was arrogant and had a bad style, and she looked down on his mother Huang Ziyi's background.Xie Xuan knew what his mother was thinking, but he was not interested in comforting her—Xie Ya said that he was cold-blooded, and he was indeed right.

The second day was sunny and sunny, and He Lin drove them there.Along the way, Xie Xuan didn't speak, and the ever-changing scenery outside the window passed before his eyes. He still remembered that he was looking at the scenery outside the window like this when Han Ruoying took him to Zhoutang—those people wearing white sweaters and shaking sunflower fans to enjoy the cool air. The old man, those children running wild like monkeys, those women shouting loudly for their children to go home for dinner, those luxuriant plane trees, seemed to have changed, but never seemed to change. The closer he was to Zhoutangnan Village, the more his heart became Heavy, almost resisting, for a moment, he almost wanted He Lin to turn around——

Xie Mingyu kept looking at him, wanting to hug him and kiss him, but he didn't move, like an indifferent judge, just examining his sorrow and pain.

The house has not been touched since the old lady passed away, entrusted to the third uncle next door to look after it.Xie Xuan called last night and knew that he was coming today. The third uncle opened the courtyard door early in the morning, opened the upper and lower windows of the house to ventilate, and did a simple sweep of the dust with the third aunt, but Xie Xuan did not expect to arrive so early—

"I don't know if you want to spend the night here. Your third aunt originally wanted to take the quilt apart and wash it—your grandmother loved cleaning the most when she was alive. The quilt cover and bed sheets were all washed clean, but they have been placed in the cabinet for a long time to dry." That's fine—or else get a new quilt from my house, it was given to my grandma when Libo got married, and the quilt has not been slept on—"

Xie Xuan refused, "It's okay, I don't have to sleep here, thank you for your troubles with the third aunt." Xie Xuan said and handed over a cigarette, and the third uncle took it with his hands as rough as dry bark, not Whispering, pinching it in his ear, "That's fine, if you have something to say, I'll go back first."

When Xie Xuan was talking to the middle-aged man, Xie Mingyu was standing in the middle of the courtyard and looking at this historic house. Although it had been cleaned briefly, the house itself still inevitably exuded a dilapidated smell, and the dust in the dim interior Flying, everything, shows the unstoppable decline and despair——

In fact, the house did not suddenly decline to this point, but in the past, there was its owner here, and scenes of old times out of touch with this era were staged. Those times, soaked in the misty rain in the south of the Yangtze River, were slow and elegant.Although there are still all kinds of remnants of the past life, the plantains in the corner of the back room are still green and pleasant, the broken porcelain pieces and tiles under the trees are covered with moss, and the lotus in the tile vat has begun to pull out branches again, but the plumpness has disappeared. Alluring goldfish, a house without an owner is like a soulless man.

Xie Xuan had finished speaking with his third uncle, and turned to look at Xie Mingyu——

Xie Mingyu smiled and said, "Let's dry the quilt."

Xie Xuan originally didn't intend to stay here overnight, but Xie Mingyu insisted on staying overnight. His eyes looked at Xie Xuan, stubborn and self-willed, like a spoiled child, knowing that adults would eventually compromise, so there was something wrong in his eyes Set your hatred and pride.

Xie Xuan and Xie Mingyu set up bamboo poles in the yard, and took out the quilt from the chest of drawers. The satin from a long time ago was still brand new, and the dragon and phoenix peonies woven with golden threads were shining brightly in the sun. Puffs of dust were raised, and there was a fragrance of wood in the flying dust, which retained the delicacy and warmth of the past life.

Xie Mingyu slowly shuttled between the quilts, and said: "I think of Zhang Ailing's "Changing Ji". Xie Xuan was on the other side of the quilt, and neither of them could see each other's expressions, "I have never liked Zhang Ailing, she is too mean. , once a woman is mean, no matter how good she is, she can only look at it from a distance—maybe a man can appreciate such intelligence and sharpness, but after all, he prefers a woman who can relax his body and mind. I remember that Eileen Chang’s aunt had a good relationship with her, but she also said that she , no matter how absurd your father is, he is still elegant, and you are only left with vulgar—"

Xie Xuan didn't speak, and Xie Mingyu didn't seem to need his answer, so he said to himself, "I was in Venice in October last year. It wasn't the peak tourist season, and there were very few tourists. The autumn sun was like wine, and the wind brought Feeling a bit desolate, I wandered slowly by myself, Venice at that time was very vicissitudes, old and sad, and I thought of you—”

They are separated by the quilt, but what stands between them is not only the year when he disappeared, but also Xie Xuan's frustration during those days, and the ensuing blows of death, which almost exhausted his original strength. Not quite capable of love.

Xie Mingyu paused for a long time before sighing softly, "Third brother, can you talk to me?"

Xie Mingyu waited for a while before hearing Xie Xuan's hoarse voice from the other side of the quilt, "I don't know what to say—" He paused and said, "Didn't you always want to eat Lixia rice? I'll ask Does Sanbo's house have peas or broad beans?"

He turned around and left the yard, Xie Mingyu knew that Xie Xuan was avoiding him.

They built a simple stove with bricks on the east wall of the yard, put a pot on it, put glutinous rice, round-grained rice, broad beans, peas, bamboo shoots, pickles, added water and salt, covered the pot, and lit the fire with straw. The third uncle was afraid that the two people in the city would not know about this, so he called his wife over to help and told them to just wait and eat, but Xie Mingyu was very interested in all this and must do it by himself.

It took a long time for the rice to cook, and when the pot was uncovered, the courtyard was filled with the fragrance of glutinous rice mixed with beans. A curious neighbor stuck his head in from the courtyard gate and said, "San'er is back!" They used The word "come back" seems to be that Xie Xuan belongs to Zhou Tang, but is only leaving temporarily.He also said, "This is cooking Lixia rice. I have freshly picked peas at home. If I had known about it, I would have sent you some—" Nowadays, there are not many people who know Xie Xuan in Zhoutang. Holding or dragging the grandchildren, the child's eyes will look at Xie Xuan curiously, not knowing the relationship between this stranger and this place.

Xie Xuan and Xie Mingyu couldn't finish the big pot of rice, so they filled several bowls and distributed them to the neighbors.

I don't know if it's the wrong way, Xie Xuan always feels that this Lixia rice is not the taste in memory.

He remembered that Lixia was a big day for children when he was a child. Every household could boil eggs, and the whole village was filled with a strong aroma of tea leaves. Women would weave egg bags with colorful wool and put boiled eggs in them. The bags are hung around the children's necks, and some sophisticated adults will dye the eggs purple. On that day, each child has five or six eggs on their chests, and they will compete to touch the eggs when they meet.On that day, the school will also relax the school rules, allowing students to bring eggs to school and hold an egg touching competition.In the evening, I will set up a stove outdoors to cook Lixia rice, put the dining table outside, and eat Lixia rice in the light of the last day of the day. I will not only eat it myself, but also distribute it to neighbors. Obviously others have burned it, but I still have to give it away. This is a custom, and it is also a courtesy. Of course, my family will also receive the Lixia rice from the neighbors. The taste of these rice is not the same, there are good and bad, and they will comment on it as a big event.

During those years in Zhoutang, every Lixia, my grandmother would knit egg bags for him the night before. At that time, the lights were still incandescent, and the color of the lights was warm yellow.Grandma wrapped the wool on the back of the bamboo chair, lowered her head and wore reading glasses, and her fingers danced deftly among the colorful wool.The egg bags she weaves have beautiful colors and fine mesh, which always attract the envious eyes of girls.Even in junior high school, he no longer needed those egg bags, she still kept that habit.And grandpa would always give him a goose egg like a magic trick. At that time, the eggs the child had were either eggs or duck eggs. Goose eggs were big and firm, and very rare. Xie Xuan felt a little proud in his heart.

I can't think about it any more, Xie Xuan just wants to go back quickly. In order to escape all this, Xie Xuan went upstairs and entered the piano room where he practiced piano when he was a child - a thin layer of dust fell on the brown piano, and he unconsciously Sitting in front of the piano in a daze.Xie Mingyu came up, sat next to him, lifted the cover of the piano, and pressed a few times on the keys casually with his fingers. The piano had been idle for too long, and the sound was a bit out of tune.

Xie Xuan was awakened by the sound of the piano, and turned to look at Xie Mingyu, "What do you want to do this afternoon?"

Xie Mingyu's fingers tapped on the keys, "I want to hear you play the piano."

Xie Xuan said: "Next time, how about it? I haven't touched the piano for a long time, I'm afraid I can't play it well."

Xie Mingyu said, "No, I want to hear it now."

Xie Xuan didn't know why he was so persistent, but it was just playing the piano, was it worth it?But Xie Xuan didn't say anything, if meeting all of Xie Mingyu's reasonable or unreasonable demands can make him stop having other weird thoughts and leave here earlier, Xie Xuan is willing to do so——

The old lady once said, "Xie Xuan belongs to the piano."

She was talking about Xie Xuan, not San'er, which meant that she said this seriously, and she was looking at it purely from the perspective of a piano teacher.When did you say this? It seems that after Xie Xuan's composition "My Dream" won the championship of the city's elementary school group——

"I have no wings, but music can take me to fly, through the mountains thick with thorns, through the dark and narrow tunnels, through the fairyland of beauty and joy, I am my own king, I will my sorrows and joys, I My love and hatred, my laughter and tears condense into the brightest star, which will never fall!"

It was him at the age of 13. He wrote that passage in a naive but serious style, and read it sonorously at the parent meeting. Grandma was sitting in the back row, with a serious look, and thunderous applause, but she didn't clap her hands, just the corners of her mouth. Slight smile.

When going back, she took his hand and walked on the long road, asking him: "What do you want to do in the future?"

"play piano."

"anything else?"

He thought for a while and said, "Have a piano recital." What he didn't say was that in his fantasy, at the end of his first piano recital, he would unexpectedly arrange for his grandma to hold four hands with him. They cooperated tacitly and performed perfectly. In the thunderous applause of the audience, he would proudly tell the people who came to listen to him, "This is my grandma, and this is my piano teacher." Then people will Cheers, will keep on yelling encore.

He remembered that grandma smiled at that time, and the beautiful fine lines at the corners of her mouth slowly swayed. It was one of the few soft moments of grandma, and it was at that time that she said that sentence.

There is no need for memory at all. His fingers are too familiar with this piano. They seem to have an independent soul and can easily play beautiful and smooth tunes. When he closes his eyes, he sees a pale and weak boy, in the afterglow of the setting sun, carrying The schoolbag stepped into the courtyard gate, and an old lady was sweeping the courtyard. He called grandma, walked up the wooden stairs step by step, pushed open the door of the piano room, put down the schoolbag, and finished his homework first on the piano , and then began to practice the piano, practicing a monotonous piece repeatedly. Gradually, the children of the same age downstairs came to his ears. He stopped playing the piano and listened carefully. He heard the sound of stones hitting the window. Looking down through the window, Zhou Nansheng smiled with his sweaty face showing his dazzling white teeth, and shouted, "San'er, come down and play."

The sound of the piano stopped abruptly, and he couldn't continue to play. The great grief grabbed his heart like a sharp and sharp claw.

Xie Mingyu bit her lip, slowly stretched out her hand, embraced Xie Xuan's shoulder from the side, put her forehead on his shoulder, and said softly: "Third Brother, I'm sorry."

Xie Xuan suppressed his grief, grabbed Xie Mingyu's arm with his right hand, and said hoarsely, "Mingyu, can you go back?"

Xie Mingyu raised his head, his black eyes fixed on Xie Xuan persistently, "Third Brother, I want to make you happy."

Xie Xuan said, "I am very happy that you are back."

Xie Mingyu shook his head, with sadness and anxiety in his eyes, "But you don't want me anymore, do you?" His eyes were covered with a film of water, but underneath were red-hot carbon balls, "You don't want anyone If you want it, you don't even want it yourself, you don't know how ugly you are now!"

Xie Xuan was speechless, even a little embarrassed——

Xie Mingyu's eyes were fierce, she stared at Xie Xuan like a drill, and said word by word: "Xie Xuan, you said you would be with me for the rest of your life, and now you want to quit halfway, there is no such thing in the world, you Don’t want to know where I’ve been this year?”

Embarrassment flashed across Xie Mingyu's eyes, and he plucked up the courage to slowly lift up the sleeve of his left arm, and Xie Xuan's gaze fell - there were a few shocking scars from cigarette butt burns - Xie Xuan grabbed it. Grabbing his arm, he opened his eyes wide in disbelief, "You..." But gradually, the astonishment was replaced by horror, and he saw the injection ports under the smoke scars, not densely packed, but quite a lot—a Terrible thoughts sprang up in his mind like lightning, blowing him to pieces, his lips trembling, "Are you taking drugs?"

Xie Mingyu's expression was terribly calm, "Yes." He seemed to be admiring Xie Xuan's anger and pain, and said in a flat tone, "That bastard Li Jun injected me with high-purity heroin during that kidnapping, but unfortunately you died with a single shot. He, or he wouldn't be so lucky—”

Xie Xuan's mind seemed to be in a dojo, humming and humming in turn, his eyes were bloodshot, as if he wanted to eat people, "You're telling me now?"

Xie Mingyu said: "Then if it were you, what would you do? Like a third-rate TV series, crying bitterly, making people cry by saying some sentimental words that make people cry, and then suffer so much. People get married? Stop joking, Xie Xuan, I can't do it, and you will never do it—"

Xie Xuan's fingers wrapped around Xie Mingyu's arm like a branding iron, getting tighter and tighter, almost breaking it, but Xie Mingyu didn't seem to notice it, "I could have said nothing, but Xie Xuan, you know what sucks?" 80.00% of people who have taken drugs will relapse—”

Xie Xuan shook his head, "You won't."

Xie Mingyu smiled slowly, "I will."

Xie Xuan looked firmly, "You won't, you are Xie Mingyu."

The corner of Xie Mingyu's mouth pulled a malicious arc, "I will, Xie Xuan, you can try."

After he finished speaking, he stood up and walked out of the piano room, but he didn't go far, and sat down at the foot of the stairs. He used himself to force Xie Xuan, which was low-level and childish, but it worked. But the bottom of his heart was miserable. Xie Xuan's suppressed cry came from the piano room. He raised his head to prevent the tears from falling——

This is a belated catharsis. From the day Xie Mingyu left without saying goodbye, he slowly accumulated, accumulated in Xie Xuan's spine, liver, and in every nerve and blood vessel. They became larger and larger, until the death of grandma, Zhou Nansheng's departure - he still looks perfect and strong, can eat and sleep normally, handles affairs wisely and decisively, he didn't shed a single tear, he seemed cold-blooded and ruthless, but his heart was actually empty, the wind came in, the rain came in, the snake And the mice run in, but the sun doesn't shine.

It was until this moment that those pains were transmitted from the blocked nerves to his senses little by little.At first it was silent, big drops of tears hit the ivory keys, he tried to stop, turned his head and tried to restrain, but like a broken faucet, no matter how hard you try, the tears are like a flood that has stopped the embankment. Then, a mournful cry finally overflowed from his throat, he curled up his shoulders, his whole body was like a leaf trembling in the wind, his body convulsed from crying, making everyone who heard it feel heartbroken.

This was the only time Xie Xuan could remember crying bitterly, abandoning everything, like a naked child.