Nongben is passionate

Randeng Temple - a temple that does not look like a temple. It is too small and looks more like a courtyard of a family in the mountains. There is a vegetable garden in the courtyard, where potatoes and tomatoes are grown. If you want to come here, the incense will never be strong. The temple All the monks need to be self-sufficient——Before coming here, Sun Lanye told them not to give money directly. The monks in those mountains spend most of the year practicing Zen, and usually only go down the mountain once a month to purchase necessary daily necessities. Sometimes their family members come from thousands of miles to see them and bring them things. If they are given some necessities of life, such as salt, rice, incense candles, and monk clothes, it will be more useful than money.

The life here is completely different from that of Xie Xuan and the others. They don't seem to care about material conditions, and pay more attention to their inner world.There are only three monks left in the monastery. I heard that there is another seventy-year-old monk practicing meditation in a cave in the mountains about ten miles away from here. The place is very difficult to find and the road is dangerous.

Sun Lanye gave them the things they brought, and a monk took Xie Xuan to see the place where Zhou Nansheng lived—they believed in fate, and believed that all those who could reach this place must have a previous life appointment, and they generously gave A clean dying place with a lonely man who is seriously ill.

The house is very simple, but there is a mural of Feitian on one wall. Although the paint has peeled off and faded, the original brilliance can still be seen.I heard from the monk that a painter found this place by chance before, lived in this room for about two months, and left this mural when he left.Other than that, the room was too clean. This kind of cleanliness means that Xie Xuan couldn't discern any signs that Zhou Nansheng had lived here——

The kitchen is behind the main hall, which is a simple shed built with reed sheds.Every day when the monks were doing morning classes, Zhou Nansheng would decoct medicine there. He seldom talked with the monks here, and he didn't deliberately blend in. Sometimes he would borrow the scriptures in the temple to read.He looked very quiet and indifferent, and he couldn't tell that he was a terminally ill person.

He walked out of the house, and the strong autumn sun outside made him dizzy. He saw Sun Lanye raised his hand to a monk and pointed in his direction, and then the monk came towards him with a tin box in his hand.

Xie Xuan took the heavy box with some numbness. Seeing the monk clasped his hands together, the expression on his face was neither sad nor happy, but diluted and understanding.

He looked down at the thing in his hand. It was an old-fashioned biscuit box, which was already full of rust. They agreed not to peek at each other for the things they thought were the most important to them, and exchanged them when they grew up, but they forgot them later.He remembered hiding things among the piles of rotten timber under the stage in the village.

"I always feel that you will definitely come to see him, so I leave this thing to you." Sun Lanye approached him and said, "He hardly left anything." Then she pointed to a tree in the yard and said, " There he was, and the monks here scattered his ashes under that neem tree—"

Xie Xuan raised his head and looked, it was a huge tree with feathery leaves, the huge canopy opened up a thick shade, and there were many green eggs on the tree, and the full sap filled the air——

Xie Xuan walked slowly to the tree, looked up at the fruits of the tree, then sat down slowly, and took a lot of effort to lift the lid of the biscuit box. There were not many things inside—a few Carefully selected marbles; a set of old cards from "Water Margin"; a photo of an airplane model cut out from a magazine; a group photo of participating in the finals of the provincial basketball school league. Zhou Nansheng was wearing a basketball uniform with a white background and red borders, his skin was slightly dark, and his sweat-soaked hair stood up short. He put his shoulders on his teammates and smiled brightly; a safe talisman was given to him by Xie Xuan The last thing was an old photo—Xie Xuan in the photo looked like a teenager, wearing a snow-white shirt and a bright red scarf, with the front of their primary school teaching building in the background Xie Xuan remembered that at that time, he had just been selected as a city-level three-good student, and the teacher took photos for him, and the photos were sent as materials to the provincial-level three-good student.When washing, the teacher specially washed an extra one for him. He showed the photo to grandma, and grandma pressed the photo under the glass of her dressing cabinet—when did it get into Zhou Nansheng's hands?

He closed his eyes, as if he saw Zhou Nansheng stepping into the courtyard gate. He didn't intend to sneak around like this, but the nanny was cooking in the kitchen, and there was no one in the house. He sneaked up the stairs as quietly as he did when he was a child, and of course he didn't find him. Xie Xuan, but he saw Xie Xuan's grandmother, sitting in her own bedroom, the TV was on, and she seemed to be watching seriously but didn't seem to be watching anything.Zhou Nansheng called: "Grandma—"

Grandma didn't hear it, and her eyes were still staring at the TV seriously and persistently.

Zhou Nansheng walked up to the old man, bent down and raised his voice, "Grandma, how are you?"

The old man finally noticed this person slowly, but his eyes were full of strangeness and defense.

"I'm Nan Sheng, don't you recognize me?"

"Excuse me, who are you?" The old man looked confused.

Zhou Nansheng gently held the old man's freckled hand and said, "Grandma, I'm Nansheng, I'll come and see you, how are you?"

The old man smiled slowly, "Okay."

Before leaving, he saw the photos under the glass of the dressing table, and quietly took one of them away. The old man returned to his dull expression, and the nanny was still cooking in the kitchen, so he exited silently.No one knew that he had been here, and no one noticed that there was a photo missing under the glass of the dressing table-it was not an important thing-

Xie Mingyu stood on the porch watching him from a distance, and Sun Lanye stood beside him, smoking a cigarette with his head bowed.Xie Mingyu glanced at her and said, "You have changed a lot."

Sun Lanye smiled, "You are the same." She paused, and said, "You and Xie Xuan..." She didn't go on, but the unfinished words revealed that she had a clear understanding of everything.

Xie Mingyu raised his eyebrows, and said without hesitation: "Is this considered a writer's sensitivity?"

Sun Lanye shook her head, "I just know that with Xie Xuan's character, if you are just cousins ​​or friends, he would never bring you here—"

Xie Mingyu habitually mocked, "You know Xie Xuan well!"

Sun Lanye was not angry, he looked at Xie Xuan in the distance, and said lightly: "You know what? People's behavior is influenced by their own memories. We always think that when we grow up and are strong enough, we can face Against everything, against everything. But in fact, the shadow of our childhood, good or bad, has always enveloped us and determined our behavior patterns—”

Xie Mingyu wanted to say, do you know that Lu Mian has been waiting for you—but he thought about it, and swallowed the words——Lu Mian's persistence may not only be Sun Lanye, but also the former Young and frivolous love, as well as the remorse, infatuation, melancholy, abstinence, the self who sacrificed to the only love in his life.Just like the narcissus boy who fell in love with the reflection in the water.Xie Mingyu really can't say whether the two will really make it to the end if the two reunite and settle their suspicions?

Anyway, it was between Lu Mian and Sun Lanye.

He saw Xie Xuan lighting a cigarette, so he walked over.Xie Xuan looked up at him, and said tremblingly: "Mingyu, I'm very conflicted, I don't know whether I should take him back to Zhoutang—it's very nice here, very quiet, there's not so much right and wrong going on, I don't know. I heard that he was very peaceful in those last days, so I feel at ease—”

Xie Mingyu sat down and covered his cold hands.Xie Xuan took a deep breath and said with difficulty: "All these years, I know that he wanders around and has no sense of security. I am a selfish person. His father passed away when he was young, and his mother remarried - he has always longed for his own I also like children, if it wasn't for me, he would have married and had children long ago, and he would live a peaceful life—" He couldn't continue, Xie Mingyu grabbed his hand, as if to pass on his own strength to him.

When leaving, Xie Xuan wrapped a piece of soil under the neem tree with a cloth and brought it back.In Xindi, Sun Lanye broke up with them and gave Xie Xuan a book before leaving. The title of the book is "Childhood Sweetheart", which is a collection of short and medium stories. The author is You'an, which is Sun Lanye's pen name.

Xie Xuan went back to Zhoutang, listened to a Taoist's suggestion, sprinkled the soil into the wide river that was slowly flowing around Zhoutang, while sprinkling, calling in his heart——

Nan Sheng, come back from the streets!

Nan Sheng, come back from the ends of the earth!

Nan Sheng, come back from thousands of mountains and rivers!

That night, he read You An's "Childhood Sweetheart" by the light of the bedside lamp, and Xie Mingyu was already fast asleep by his side.You'an wrote at the end of "Childhood Sweetheart": "When the hibiscus leaves, it is the time of harvesting the golden ears of rice. The little mute is holding the huge kite made of rice paper and galloping on the ridge of the field. Working in the field The man looked up at the slender figure, smiled kindly, shook his head and said, "This little mute is going crazy again." At that time, the sun was pouring down, and the flowers, grass, and birds on the kite seemed to be alive, as if they knew their master would leave them forever—

When Mu Jin got into the car, she looked up at the sky, the sky was as clear as blue, without a cloud, and of course, there was no kite either. "

Xie Xuan closed the book, turned off the lights, and went to sleep.