Shuoyun Feidu

Shen Hanyan entered the shop, and walked straight into the inner room. As soon as he stepped into the room, he raised his eyes and saw a handsome man sitting and drinking tea, wearing a peacock blue cross collar robe, a golden crown and jade belt, The man's eyebrows were light, but he didn't speak. It was Bei Tangyun. Shen Hanyan's heart trembled slightly, and after a pause, he stepped forward to give a slight salute, calmed down, and said softly: "...Father."

Bei Tangyun didn't seem to hear it, and just drank tea on his own. At the end, he suddenly raised his eyes to look at the young man, and said slowly, "Where did you go just now?" He is neither busy nor slow, as if the father of an ordinary family is casually chatting about family affairs with his son. Now he is over forty, a middle-aged man, but his appearance is still very young, only about 30 years old. It is only from the precipitation in the eyes that it can be vaguely seen that he is not young anymore. The robes are gorgeous and elegant, and the jet-black hair is neatly gathered in the golden crown, combed in an orderly manner. In fact, the huge failure of the previous period is not so bad It was a heavy blow, but at this moment, Beitangyun didn't look like he had the slightest sense of depression and frustration after suffering a setback, let alone a sluggish expression, and he was still the same as before.Shen Hanyan lowered his head slightly, and remained silent for a while, Beitangyun also unexpectedly did not urge him, just sat and slowly sipping tea, but his eyes stayed on his only son, his expression could not be clearly understood Seeing joy and anger clearly, Shen Hanyan was silent for a moment, and then said: "Tonight, I went...to the East Palace."

"I went to the East Palace..." Beitang Yun smiled slightly, and the curved line of his mouth seemed to indicate that he was smiling, but there was no trace of warmth in that smile, which made people fall in love at first sight. He faintly felt chills all over his body, and he repeated Shen Hanyan's words in a slow manner. There was no ups and downs when he uttered such an ordinary sentence, as if Shen Hanyan did not take the risk of sneaking into the heavily guarded East Palace tonight. , but just went to an ordinary place like a wine shop and teahouse, Beitangyun didn't show any obvious anger on his face, but for some reason, even though he appeared to be calm on the surface, he had a kind of frosty aura coming from there. It was naturally revealed in the deep eyes, and Shen Hanyan's heart skipped a beat. When he came back from the East Palace, he was already full of sadness, and he was full of nostalgia for Beitang Jiaqi and Beitang Rongdu. Tang Yun's tone changed slightly, he lowered his head and restrained his face, and stood quietly at the same spot. At this moment, Bei Tangyun slowly put down the teacup, slightly raised his eyebrows, and looked up at the young man indifferently: "I went to the East Palace... so now, you finally know you're back?!"

The candlelight in the room exuded a slightly crimson color, and the flame danced from time to time, and the light seemed to gradually weaken and dim. Shen Hanyan's heart tightened when he heard the words, and his face suddenly changed color. Yun was already angry, and couldn't help feeling a little terrified in his heart, so he immediately knelt down on the ground, the coldness in Beitang Yun's words was ambiguous, and without the slightest emotion, he just looked sideways at the kneeling man. Shen Hanyan said coldly: "...you are still thinking about that kid in Beitang Rongdu? You even dared to sneak back because of him. Could it be that you are not afraid of being captured by mistake?...Or do you think that you and Beitang In the past, Tang Rongdu had a deep friendship, so he was [-]% sure of retreating completely?" Beitang Yu said sharply, his eyes were like a sharp blade unsheathed, cutting inch by inch on the body of the person in front of him, Shen Hanyan It seemed that he didn't dare to raise his head, and he didn't dare to argue too much. He just lowered his eyebrows in a subdued manner, and said in a low voice: "I just... just want to go back and have a look..." Before Shen Hanyan finished speaking, Bei Tang Yun had already interrupted his words, snorted softly, sneered disapprovingly: "...Go back and have a look? Do you think you are still the glorious Shen Shaojun back then? Then Beitang Rongdu will still praise you In the palm of your hand, everything is obedient? Stupid!"

The yellowish light from the lights cast shadows in the room. It was March, and the wind was blowing coolly. Shen Hanyan bowed his head and remained silent. Just as Beitangyun was about to say something more, he suddenly thought of this son. Although she has always been docile on the outside, she is actually stubborn and tough inside. Unknowingly, she slowly narrowed her eyes, raised her hand to caress her forehead, and then said lazily and coldly with a half-smile: "...You are going to visit your little girl tonight. Lover, it must be going very well?" Shen Hanyan heard Beitangyun's bad tone, and just wanted to make a distinction, but Beitangyun's deep eyes suddenly became sharp and piercing, and they only covered Shen Hanyan's thin body , and said coldly: "Don't forget who you are now, and don't forget what you have done in the past... Good son, don't do anything stupid."

Shen Hanyan heard the words 'don't forget who you are now, and don't forget what you have done', his heart sank suddenly, and for a while, thin sweat dripped down his back, Lowering his eyes, he bowed his head for a long while and said in a shy voice: "Of course I know..." He seemed to be having a difficult time speaking, and his expression was very gloomy. Ji's tone softened a little, but his gaze was still like a sword, and he said, "This man Beitang Rongdu has ruined my affairs several times. If it wasn't for him...hehe!" Shen Hanyan didn't seem to hear, just bowed his head Looking at the cold ground in a daze, she suddenly murmured: "...I went to see Jiaqi tonight. She seems to have grown a little taller and fatter. She doesn't know that my father is hiding behind the screen and watching all the time. She, I can't even go out and hug her, I can't do anything..."

As Shen Hanyan said, he couldn't hold himself back, and felt lost. He knelt on the ground, with a look of confusion in his eyes, almost as if he had lost all thoughts: "...Father, I was still young back then, and I could only do what you ordered. Listen, but for so many years, I have stayed by that person's side for so long. In the beginning, I always warned myself that I must be cautious, and everything is just to complete the tasks you gave me. A tool that only knows how to obey orders. I am also a human being, a person with flesh and blood, emotions, sorrows and joys. I have been with Beitang for more than ten years. I am lucky to be loved by him. How can we have no feelings for each other? Sometimes I also think, if I It’s not that my surname is also Beitang. If I was just an ordinary boy who was sent to Unsheltered Fort, how good would it be? I can live in peace without having to live in deception all the time. For the rest of my life..."

When Shen Hanyan said this, there was already an uncontrollable sense of sadness in his tone, and his expression was like autumn grass. Even if he was as restrained as him, even if he never said anything or showed anything, he would always be decent and dignified in front of people. Gentle, but how much helplessness and heaviness is hidden in the heart, who can know?He looked at the ground, clenched his fists involuntarily, and said quietly and lonely: "...Moreover, I miss Jiaji, I really miss Jiaji, she..." The young man suddenly raised his head and looked at Beitangyun firmly, deeply Staring at this man with a helpless expression, he suddenly smiled self-deprecatingly, and said in a hoarse voice: "She is my daughter...Father, maybe you can't understand it, although you are also a father, but you don't know what to do. Will understand my mood, you can't understand, even if I am your son... If there is no wedding, how much fun can I have in this life?" His voice seemed to be not his own, erratic, revealing deep fatigue With a trace of unspeakable sadness, but the gaze gradually seemed to go back to the past, becoming soft: "When Jiaqi's biological mother Li Nonger died in childbirth, Jiaqi was sent to me. She was just born at that time, maybe Because of the heart-to-heart relationship between mother and daughter, she seemed to know that her biological mother was dead. She kept crying and I hugged her and walked around, not letting go for a moment, which made her gradually fall asleep... Bei Since Tang entrusted the child to me, I naturally have to do my best. Since I had a good time, I seem to have something on my mind. After all, I am a man, and I don’t have the natural ability to care for children like a woman. I fumbled to do it. I watched Jiaqi grow up day by day. She can talk, walk, and call people. She is so caring and caring. I care about her more and more. She let me know the joy of being a parent... Later, when Jiaqi was a little older, I once overheard someone whispering that her biological mother was of a lowly status, saying that she was born to a concubine, and I punished those people severely at that time, and no one dared to discuss it in private No one dares to reveal her background, and I have raised her for several years, and in my heart, her weight may not be lighter than that of Beitang."

Shen Hanyan suddenly lowered his eyelashes, his voice was sad like a mist that was about to dissipate, he quietly looked at Beitang Yun who was sitting above him, there was a cold loneliness in his dark eyes, even his voice was so low that it was hard to catch Go on: "Father, I'm not afraid to tell you clearly that I will never have a physical relationship with another person in my life, nor will I have my own children. In the final analysis, being kind is not as good as raising kindness, I have raised her for so long, and Jiaqi is my own flesh and blood in my heart. If I can raise her to grow up, I would be willing to erase 20 years of life, but unfortunately, after all, I am not so old. Blessing."

Shen Hanyan's voice sounded very empty in the silent night, and even the originally warm lights seemed to be dyed cold by the lonely tone. He was silent for a moment, his eyes were gray, and he remained silent for a while. , he took a deep look at Beitang Yu, his slender white fingers were tightly clenched together, as if even his bones were about to be crushed, he tried his best to calm down, but his heart seemed to be on fire, Shen Hanyan was so silent After a while, his face was gloomy, and he no longer had the gentle and peaceful appearance he usually had. His slow breathing was always covered by severe winter, unable to be warmed up. Shen Hanyan smiled wryly: "...Father , I am your son, it is you who gave me this life, let me come to this world, so I have no other choice, ever since you sent me to Unsheltered Castle, you put me there as you Eyes, ears, hands and feet, you have obtained a lot of things from me continuously, I can only do some things that I have to do as you wish, but there are always some things that I can’t even control myself, then It's me to Beitang, to Jiaqi... I can't let myself let them go, I can't do it."

"...Are you accusing me of not being a loving father? Are you blaming me?" The sandalwood in the room was thin and had a peaceful smell, but Bei Tangyun's tone was slightly cold, and he frowned and sat upright. On the top, he held back his smile slightly, his face was already filled with a bit of vivid anger, the flickering light in his eyes made people feel a little shuddering, but after a moment of silence, Bei Tangyun suddenly stared at He moved slightly, and when he spoke again, he already softened his amiable tone a little. He turned his body slightly, rubbed the center of his eyebrows with one hand, and said slowly: "Han Yan, let me tell you, the kindness of a woman will only make you soft-hearted. , can’t do great things, do you really think so? None of the men in the main line of our Beitang family has a weak heart, and it’s not good for me.”

Shen Hanyan's fingertips were cold, he bowed his head silently, concentrating for a moment, but didn't speak, Bei Tangyu saw that he was just silent, his face showed a touch of emotion, and his expression became much gentler, after pondering for a while He said: "...Han Yan, you have to understand that since you are the son of my Beitangyun, it is destined that you are not the same as the people over there." The corners of Beitangyun's thin lips slowly pulled out a trace of indifference However, it seemed that there was a smile on his face, and his voice was amiable, making it impossible to tell what he was thinking. Shen Hanyan lowered his head and didn't say a word. After a long time, he suddenly slowed down. He raised his head, his nose was full of bitter fragrance, he looked at Bei Tangyun, and said softly: "Father, tell me... have you ever cared for me?"

After Shen Hanyan asked this sentence, without waiting for Beitangyun to answer, he suddenly smiled. At this time, his face seemed to have lost the weakness of the beginning, but his throat seemed a little dry: " I have been a pawn in your revenge plan since I was a teenager, I have never been really happy in all these years, but I can't help it, you gave me my life, raised me, you are my father , so no matter what you ask me to do, I will obey, even if I don't want to... But Dad, I only ask you now: Do you really regard yourself as my father, do you really love me? past me?"

Hearing what he said up to this point, Bei Tangyun couldn't help being dumb for a while, then suddenly hummed slightly, with deep eyes, slapped the armrest of the chair with a cold face, and said hesitantly: "...Are you questioning me? ?” Shen Hanyan stared at him in silence, and after a while, he said quietly, “Son, don’t dare.” He slowly raised the corners of his mouth, and said, "My son, since I am your father, how could I not know your soft-hearted temperament?" Shen Hanyan slightly pressed his teeth with the tip of his tongue, trembling, and said shyly : "Over the years, every time I see His Majesty caring and caring for Beitang, I can't help but feel envious in my heart. Sometimes I think, if my father can treat me like this, then I'm not in vain... as long as Unfortunately, my father would not treat me like this. I am indeed your son, but I am also your pawn. Father, have you really loved me? Although I am your flesh and blood to you, but more It's a valuable tool, isn't it?"

"Shut up! Is that how you talk to me?" Bei Tangyun suddenly waved away the teacup beside him, and the high-quality porcelain fell to the ground and shattered with a bang, leaving behind With broken porcelain pieces and some residual tea all over the place, Beitangyun's face was deep, a kind of coldness gradually gathered in his eyes, and he said coldly: "...you have to pay attention to your identity!" Shen Hanyan saw the man wave his hand earlier Knocking down the teacup, I couldn't help being slightly stunned instinctively, and immediately calmed down. At this time, after hearing Bei Tangyun's words, I don't know why, and suddenly laughed. Although you were defeated by His Majesty, you were lucky enough to have a substitute to save your life. Later, you recovered your martial arts. At that time, you were still so young, and you could live a peaceful life, but you did it for hatred You have been hiding for 20 years, thinking about how to get revenge all the time, you are thinking all the time to defeat His Majesty, get back everything you lost from him, and even sacrifice your own son for this... But have you ever thought about it? In the past 20 years, you have actually lost more than you did back then. How did you torture yourself for the word 'hate'? Even if you really avenge yourself in the future, will you really be happy from now on?"

Shen Hanyan said, with deep powerlessness and self-mockery in his eyes, he said in a low voice: "I have no choice, since I was born in the Beitang family and became your son, then I have no choice. But father... Father, you are really pathetic."

"Crack!" As soon as Shen Hanyan finished speaking, Beitang Yun suddenly stood up from his seat and stepped in front of the young man with just one step. Almost at the same time, a merciless slap was slammed on Looking at the other party's face, Bei Tangyu's complexion was gloomy and uncertain, and there seemed to be a cold shadow in his angry eyes. He stared firmly at Shen Hanyan who was kneeling in front of him, and smiled angrily: "... ...When do I need you to teach me a lesson?! You bastard, this slap is to let you see yourself clearly and know your dignity!"

Bei Tangyun's violent outburst was obviously very sudden, without any warning. Although he didn't use his internal strength, he still exerted a lot of strength in his hands under the rage. This slap made Han Yan's face sinking immediately. On the other hand, Venus burst out in front of his eyes, his snow-white cheeks went numb for a while, and a red palm print suddenly appeared. Shen Hanyan had been by Beitang Rongdu's side for many years, and had never been touched by a finger. At this time, Beitang Such a slap from Yun only caused severe pain on his face, but Shen Hanyan was only slightly startled by the slap, and then calmed down, and then slowly covered his face with his hands, still kneeling on the ground, that This kind of silent stubbornness in silence was completely inconsistent with his usual meekness and softness. He only touched the hot sore spot on his cheek a few times before kneeling straight again. He paused for a while, his whole face showing a serious expression: "What exactly do I, Beitangyun do, what do I want to do, how do I do things, I don't need other people to point fingers at me... ...Han Yan, you are too presumptuous, this is your attitude towards your biological father? Who taught you to be so unruly!"

"...Who can teach me? At least not you, because you have never really taught me well." Shen Hanyan lowered his eyes and said softly, he let out a breath slowly, and smiled slightly: "Yes, father, you never really taught me." He didn’t really teach me well. Instead, Beitang studied and worked with me when I was young. If someone taught me, it should be him...Father, I am your son, so I will obey whatever you want me to do. , Because this is what I owe you by nature, I should pay you back, but this does not mean that I will not blame you, because you want revenge, so my whole life has been filled in this matter, you, Ruined my life."

The light in the room was faintly dim, and the gelatinous atmosphere gave people a sense of suffocation. Bei Tangyun's eyes were deep, like bottomless black pools, far and unpredictable. He was silent for a moment, and then suddenly narrowed his eyes slightly. Opening his eyes, he stretched out his hand to support Shen Hanyan's chin, and said with a low smile, "Are you blaming me?... Well, it doesn't matter, of course you can blame me, it's not your fault." There was a sharp ray of light faintly, but his voice was kind and bewitching: "...Han Yan, you just need to know that you are my son, Bei Tangyun, and you were destined for this since you were born." , no one can change it, and it will never change.”

Shen Hanyan remained silent, Beitangyun slowly let go of his chin, walked back to the seat and sat down again, he patted the armrest of the chair lightly, a small cold light streamed from the bottom of his eyes, and pondered: "If it wasn't for that day Your little lover, how can Beitang Zunyue and his father and son get away? Beitang Rongdu doesn't know what it is, but it has such power, if..." Beitang Yu's expression flickered, and he said faintly : "I have already ordered people to match the items that Beitang Rongdu once asked for, and refine them carefully. Unfortunately, there is no progress at all... Han Yan, you have been with Beitang Rongdu for so long. Could it be that you don't even know about it?"

Most of the items that Beitang Rongdu asked Beitang Yu that day were actually useless, they were just to confuse others. What's more, the items he prepared not only needed raw materials, but also had to be in proper proportions, let alone making them. All kinds of operating procedures in the process, these conditions are indispensable, and no one can go wrong in any link, especially the danger is great. If one is not good, it will end up being blown to pieces on the spot. If Beitang Rongdu hadn't been forced to I'm in a hurry, and I absolutely don't want to take this risk. Right now, Beitangyu wants to master this thing, but he can't get a clue about everything. How can he really make such a weapon that frightens him?For a while, Shen Hanyan knelt on the icy ground with a silent expression: "...I don't know."

"I don't know?" Beitang Yun's long eyebrows raised immediately, and his eyes fell on the young man's slightly raised face: "You have been by his side for more than ten years, and Beitang Rongdu trusts you, the person next to him, so don't tell me? Has he never revealed anything in front of you?" Shen Hanyan smiled suddenly, with an indescribably strange expression: "...Father, don't forget that he is also from the Beitang family, so how could that be possible? Let others know about your last means of self-protection? Beitang is like you, he will not trust anyone completely and without reservation." Beitang Yun listened, and did not speak for a while, and after a while, Bei Tangyun suddenly said indifferently: "Forget it, you go back, without my order from now on, you are not allowed to act rashly and go to see the people over there without authorization." When he said this, he changed the subject: "However, these favors of yours Relationship, when it comes in handy..." Shen Hanyan seemed to be a little tired when he heard this, he laughed in a low voice, then looked up at Beitangyun, and said: "You always put everyone's Values ​​are measured, in your eyes, all people are pawns, only useful or useless, you don't care about the rest, you don't need feelings, you only need hatred...Father, in your life Among them, have you never loved anyone?"

As soon as this remark came out, Bei Tangyun didn't know why, and instinctively froze for a moment, then heard Shen Hanyan continue: "Father, although I blame you for sending me to Unsheltered Castle, I also thank you at the same time. , because if it weren’t for this, I wouldn’t have such an intersection with Beitang... Although he hates me now, he still has feelings for me. If he didn’t have a deep affection for me, how could he blame me for hating me so much now? He is What about my brother? What if he hates me? At least he will never forget me in his life."

Shen Hanyan's voice lingered in the room, and every word was extremely clear. Beitangyun's expression suddenly changed drastically, and his heart suddenly felt cold. In the dead, the only sentence echoed in my mind repeatedly, "If he hadn't had a deep affection for me, how could he blame me and hate me so far?" Beitangyun felt cold repeatedly in his heart, he could hardly think clearly for a while, a figure appeared in front of his eyes uncontrollably, and a layer of sticky cold sweat suddenly appeared on his palms, his whole body I froze there and couldn't move, I didn't believe this extremely weird idea at all, but in an instant, all the things from my youth suddenly flashed across my heart like a flash of light, suddenly reappeared, and turned over in my memory. Countless familiar memories of the past, Beitangyun's face turned blue and white, he did not admit this ridiculous possibility at all, but those deep golden eyes were always looking at him with a half-smile in his heart, waving Do not go.

He obviously hated him very much. From the time when he was young until now, each other wanted to put each other to death. However, why did he not think about it at all when Beitang Zunyue went to the danger himself and thought he was sure of him? Want to kill each other?That person has been against his elder brother since he was a child, and he has never had the slightest sincere respect and brotherhood, and he has never taken him seriously. If the other party can be more respectful and compliant with him, will he not treat him like that? Like a thorn in your side?If, if Beitang Zunyue respected and loved his elder brother a little bit, wouldn't he necessarily want to grab the position of Castle Lord?

Bei Tangyun was suddenly startled by the big difference. For a moment, his emotions were like madness, the shock was so great that it couldn't be described in words. He asked himself, if that person was not so alienated and hostile to him when he was still a teenager, How will I treat myself?Why can't I forget that person for so many years, and I can't even forget it for a moment?Every time you think of this, you will be irritable?Since he wanted to eat his flesh alive, but why when he heard the news that Beitang Zunyue was poisoned by Master Yuzhao that year, his first thought was not to be happy, but to want to kill Master Yuzhao. At that time, was it because he was afraid that Beitang Zunyue would die so that he could not take revenge personally, or was he subconsciously worried about him? ...The question that the young man asked just now is still lingering in my ears: Father, have you never loved anyone in your life?

For a long time, Beitang Yu could only hear a long mouthful of dull air from the bottom of his throat. In the dim light and shadow, he couldn't see the expression on his face clearly. On this night, right here, he seemed to suddenly understand What has been on my mind for many years... Beitangyun's eyes were uncertain, and he didn't say a word. Seeing that he was very different from usual, Shen Hanyan fell silent. Hissing, he laughed for a long time, and laughed out loud, even making tears flow from the corners of his eyes. Outside the window, the night was getting dark——

[If it wasn't for deep affection, how could you be resentful? ]——

[Have you never loved anyone in your life? ]