I rushed to you

Huo Yan yelled over and over again, asking why, but the other side had already hung up, he clenched his phone tightly unacceptably, put his head against the wall, took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to relieve the tension in his heart. With violent thoughts, teeth clenched tightly, eyes reddened, fists erected, punching the wall one after another, until the fists were bloody and bloody, he calmed down.

why!

Why do you say break up!

Didn't you say you chose me, why did you lie to me!

What you say doesn't count, right?

He sat on the bed with a blank face, but the emotion in his eyes was deep and dangerous. He picked up the phone to call back, hung up directly there, and then turned off the phone after calling again. In the wound on the other hand, the knuckles were injured and the bones were visible, but he remained silent, the pain became more and more severe, and his eyes became clearer and clearer.

It's all lies, Gu Liang's deep affection for him is all fake, maybe it's not fake, it's because Gu Liang overestimated his feelings for him, in fact, when it came time to make a real choice, he was still the one who was abandoned.

If you say break up, break up.

So, from the beginning to the end, is he the only one who takes care of this relationship like a treasure? For Gu Liang, it is just a dispensable thing, and he doesn't want it.

He closed his eyes and felt the pain in his heart that was about to explode. He should be sad, but the pain was so strong that he couldn't feel the sadness anymore. They are all covered with sharp blades, densely packed like thorns, piercing the heart, lungs, liver, and layers of flesh...

How can it hurt so much?Huo Yan sat on the bed and thought.

After the pain, it was cold, like a serious illness, warmth, sun, and heat, but after a while, he couldn't feel it anymore, and even the bright red heartbeat was gone.

Some people are alive but already dead, Huo Yan thinks that what he is talking about may be what he is like now.

I don't know how long it took, Huo Yan looked up at the window, it was dark, thinking of his grandfather who was still in the hospital, he got up and went to the bathroom, his pale expressionless face was shown in the bathroom mirror, he tried his best to raise the corners of his mouth, stiff Smiling across the face is uglier than crying.

It turned out that the pain was so extreme that there was no expression on his face. Even if his heart was broken into scum, he could still show nothing on his face.

.......

Fang Ping's heart trembled when he heard Gu Liang's last voice of "Brother Yan", who suppressed his nervous and worried emotions. After hanging up the phone forcefully, he shut the person into the room without saying a word, closed the door with a "bang" and left.

Gu Liang walked back and forth in the room anxiously. Huo Yan should understand what he meant. He rang the bell three times, hung up three times, and said "Huo Yan" three times. Every time he said "I love you", he should Understood, he told him.

A loving couple live apart in two places. In order to express their love, they ring each other three times a day: I love you.

A pair of students who are in love, are at the same table with each other, buckle the table three times a day: I love you, call each other's name three times in a row, which means I love you.

Huo Yan used to force him to say that he loves him every day, but after he said it once, that person would take an inch, dissatisfied, and had to say it every day, but he was too embarrassed to say it, so he sent him an article about "three strokes" " love story.

There is a passage in it that goes like this: If I knock on the table three times, it means I say three words to you, if I tap you on the shoulder three times, I also say these three words, if I call you, the bell rings Hang up after three times, I am still saying these three words, I call your name three times, that is, I am saying these three words to you, even... if I wink at you three times, snap my fingers three times , puffing three puffs of cigarette...all saying "I love you" ①

Since then, Huo Yan will not force him to speak, but will remind him to nod his head less, glance less, call him less twice, and even sigh less...

Will Huo Yan understand what he means?

You'll understand, he made it so obvious.

Gu Liang walked over and twisted the door. The door was locked from the outside, and he couldn't open it no matter what. He walked to the window and leaned out to look to the side. The light in the next room was still on, and his mother was still asleep.

Gu Liang took a deep breath, calmed down his flustered heart, and lay on the bed, thinking that while his mother was at work tomorrow, he would find an opportunity to explain to Huo Yan, fearing that the idiot would be stunned by his words, and would not think about anything.

Perhaps it was because he didn't sleep much last night, and today was another day of nervousness and worry, Gu Liang looked at the ceiling, and his consciousness became blurred.

Gu Liang had a dream, the dream was filled with mist, there was a person standing in front of him, with his back to him, Gu Liang recognized that it was Huo Yan, he called out, the man didn't respond, and walked forward slowly , he yelled again, but the man still didn't respond, and continued to move forward, getting farther and farther away from him. Gu Liang didn't panic in his heart, and wanted to catch up, but found that there was a puddle of water under his feet, and his feet were covered by water. Something was firmly imprisoned, unable to move, looked up, Huo Yan was walking farther and farther, the mist between the two of them, it was almost impossible to see Huo Yan's back.

"Huo Yan, Huo Yan, Huo Yan," Gu Liang called out more and more forcefully, but found that his voice was getting softer and his whole body was sinking slowly, the back in front of him was almost invisible, Gu Liang Completely flustered now, he called out "Brother Yan" loudly, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make a sound, the figure in front was only a piece of clothing, and the sound of water coming from walking, Gu Liang was so anxious that he was going crazy, he felt that something important to him was moving away from him, he reached out to reach it, but couldn't reach it, he yelled loudly, unable to make a sound, he could only watch helplessly as Huo Yan got farther and farther away from him The farther he went, the deeper he sank himself, until the water choked the intake pipe and overflowed the top of his head.

Gu Liang suddenly woke up from the bed, breathing heavily like a dehydrated fish. In the cold winter night, his forehead was covered with beads of sweat. The feeling of despair, collapse and powerlessness in the dream still enveloped him. , He raised his hand to cover his heart, it was very painful, as if a piece was missing, it was so empty that he was about to suffocate.

He wiped off the sweat from his forehead, threw off the quilt, strode to the door, and started to twist the lock, but it couldn't be opened, and he started rummaging through the room to find a spare key.

No, can't find, what should I do?He couldn't wait for dawn, looked left and right, couldn't see any tools, and finally fixed his eyes on the window.

An electric wire was tied around his waist, he held the sheet in his hand, kicked his feet against the wall, and slowly slid down bit by bit. The cold wind blew by, and the corners of his clothes fluttered wildly. Gu Liang closed his eyes without looking down, biting His teeth continued to go down, and when he was still some distance away from the twelfth floor, he felt a tightness in his waist. The length of the wire was not enough. He took a breath, wrapped the sheet with one hand, and slowly untied the wire around his waist with the other.

Sleeping in the middle of the night, I heard the sound of someone knocking on the window. The 50-year-old man downstairs looked at the window. The sight almost scared him to death. There was a figure outside the vacant window on the twelfth floor. He was so scared Reaching out to turn on the light, I saw the figure knocking on the window again, and at the same time, a voice called him Grandpa Zhang.

After Grandpa Zhang found out who it was, half of his life was about to die, so he hurriedly opened the window and pulled him into the room with trembling hands. As soon as he entered the room, Grandpa sat on the ground without saying a word , Gu Liang grabbed his arm and wanted to borrow his mobile phone to make a call.

He looked flustered and anxious. Uncle Zhang has lived here for so long, and he has never seen him like this. He thought that something happened to his mother, and he didn't ask why he came down from upstairs. Hand it over to comfort him, "Baby, don't worry, take your time, the ambulance will be fast, grandpa will go up with you to have a look."

Gu Liang grabbed Grandpa Zhang's arm, turned his head away, dialed the number that he knew so well, adjusted his breathing, and pressed the dial button.

If there is no answer over there, the phone hangs up automatically, and he calls again. If there is still no answer, he calls again.

The panic and uneasiness in Gu Liang's heart has not subsided. He clutched the phone tightly, his fingers trembling a little.

Answer the phone, answer the phone!

Brother Yan, answer the phone quickly!

Please, don't have an accident, don't think too much!

Think about what I told you!

You answer the phone for me!

I was wrong, Brother Yan!

Gu Liang regretted it very much now, he was wrong, he shouldn't have broken up, he knew how far Huo Yan was with him, he thought that Huo Yan would understand what he was hiding, but every time he thought about that fool, every time he met He never calmed down when he heard about him, and he firmly believed in what he said every time.

So how did he feel when he heard himself say "break up"?When I said I would break into a bad world for him, when I said I loved him, when I said he would always be my first choice, when his dearest grandpa was in a bad situation, I heard my " break up" how he felt.

Gu Liang didn't know how Huo Yan felt at that time, but it must be a hundred times deeper than what he felt in his dream.

The phone couldn't be reached, Huo Yan returned the phone to Grandpa Zhang, and after saying that it wasn't his mother's fault, he opened the door and went to Shao Wen's house.

In the middle of the night, Shao Wen was pulled up from the bed by his mother. When he opened his eyes, he saw Gu Liang who was different from the past. Shao Wen's mother pushed Gu Liang to sit on the bed, "It's okay, ah, what's the problem? Tell Shao Wen , let him help you." After speaking, he went out and left the place for the two of them.

When he came up from downstairs, Gu Liang had gradually calmed down, Shao Wen asked him what's wrong?He didn't answer, picked up Shao Wen's mobile phone and dialed the number, but there was still no answer, he clicked on WeChat, found Huo Yan, and sent a message using Shao Wen's account, "Brother Yan, I'm Gu Liang, you answer Telephone."

There was no reply, Gu Liang sent another voice, [Brother Yan, I don't want to break up with you, answer the phone and listen to me. ]

There has been no reply there, no reply, Gu Liang kept calling, and continued calling after automatically hanging up.

Shao Wen looked at him and pressed his hand on the phone, "What's wrong? What happened?"

Gu Liang lowered his hand holding the phone, "My mother found out about Huo Yan and me, and forced me to break up with him."

Shao Wen was stunned for a while, then said, "So you broke up with him?"

"I...I didn't mean that."

Shao Wen didn't know what he meant, whether it was a score or not, and wanted to ask again, but he had already clicked on WeChat.

Gu Liang thought that no matter what, Huo Yan would never ignore his so many phone calls. Maybe Grandpa Huo's situation was not good. He knew that he was comforting himself. He didn't answer the phone all the time, as if he was in a dream. He kept calling "Huo Yan" but the man couldn't hear him and kept walking, getting farther and farther away from him.

Gu Liang became more and more flustered and frightened.

He stopped calling, clicked on WeChat, walked outside the balcony of Shao Wen's room, and started to make voice calls.

[Brother Yan, I'm Gu Liang. ]

[Remember the story of "Three Tones"?I didn't want to break up with you, it was a stopgap measure. ]

[Is there something wrong with Grandpa?Can you call me back when you're done? ]

Gu Liang stood in the cold wind and uttered his voice sentence by sentence, while Shao Wen leaned on the balcony door with his arms folded and looked at him.

Such a loss of composure, without the calm and self-sufficient Gu Liang in the past, he only met once, the time when Gu Qing died. For the first two days, he was cold and silent. When eating, he would eat the food that others gave him. If he didn’t put it in, he would just eat the rice, as if he had lost his soul. On the last day of the funeral, when he was about to be buried, he finally returned to his soul and cried loudly for a whole day , It is useless to persuade anyone.

When Shao Wen pulled Gu Liang out to comfort him, his tears continued to flow, but there was no cry. He still remembered what Gu Liang said to him when he persuaded him. He said he didn't want to cry, but the tears flowed down by themselves. , He covered his eyes with his hands, but tears still overflowed from between his fingers, he said he didn't know what to do, he couldn't stop, he was very serious when he said it, and looked up to stop the tears, but it didn't work.

The current Gu Liang is not like that time when he couldn't hold back his tears, but his demeanor is almost the same.

Shao Wen used to pull him into the house, "You didn't break up with Huo Yan, but now Huo Yan doesn't answer your phone?"

"No," Gu Liang told Shao Wen the specific situation. Shao Wen was stunned for a few seconds and asked, "You were locked in the room, so how did you get out?"

"Turn through the window and come out of Grandpa Zhang's house."

Shao Wen looked out of the window, his eyeballs almost popped out, and shouted, "You are crazy! Do you know that it is the thirteenth floor! Don't die! I can't explain it to him until tomorrow! It has to be tonight, We must hurry at this moment!"

"Urgent," Gu Liang looked at Shao Wen, "I'm afraid he will do something."

"What can you do, what can be compared to your jumping off a building!"

Gu Liang didn't know how to tell Shao Wen that it was a big deal to him that he didn't choose Huo Yan in the first place, and he didn't tell Shao Wen about the nightmare that made him palpitate.

After being silent for a while, after the fear in Shao Wen's heart dissipated, he looked at Gu Liang and said, "Then what are you going to do?"

Gu Liang laughed, "What else can I do, find a way to convince my mother."

Shao Wen thought of his mother's previous appearance, and it was almost impossible to persuade her. He opened his mouth, but finally said nothing.

"I'm going to sleep in my dad's room, he's not here tonight," Shao Wen opened the door, "you can sleep here tonight."

"Thanks."

"Get out." Shao Wen said to him impatiently, "You look through the window next time", and then closed the door.

After turning off the lights, Gu Liang sat on the bed in the dark, staring at the phone, repeating silently over and over again, "Call back, call back, call back."

Now thinking of Huo Yan's voice asking "why" during the day, the three hoarse words seem to be mixed with too many emotions, disbelief, grievance, unwillingness, helplessness, sadness, desolation, pain and a touch of hatred.

Gu Liang closed his eyes, how could he forget, his promise to Huo Yan, the words he said while hugging Huo Yan in the middle of the night kept reverberating in his mind: I love you the most. Choice, you are my top priority.

The scene was still vivid in his memory, but when he turned around, he broke up with Huo Yan.

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Note ①: This passage comes from an article in Yilin.