How's your day

After hanging up the phone, Cheng Fei withdrew his gaze and restarted the car. Just as he was about to step on the accelerator, he suddenly heard the passenger's glass being knocked twice. He turned his head and saw Song Yu standing outside the car.

Seeing that he saw her, Song Yu opened the car door and said in a steady tone, "I forgot my coat."

Cheng Fei didn't react for a while, and was stunned.

"I heard it." Song Yu looked at him with a calm face.

"I..." Cheng Fei opened his mouth but didn't say anything.

"Want to chat?" Song Yu bent down and took the coat, and seeing that Cheng Fei didn't speak, she sat on the co-pilot.

"What did you hear?" Cheng Fei stared at him.

"All." Song Yu said.

Cheng Fei clenched his fingers on the steering wheel, "Then you know about my going to study abroad?"

Song Yu nodded and added, "I just heard that."

"Oh."

Cheng Fei turned his head and looked at the steering wheel, smiled a little relieved and sad, "Is there anything you want to ask me?"

Song Yu looked at him, "What about you, do you have anything to say?"

"No." Cheng Fei shook his head.

Unbelievably, he found that he felt a sense of relief that he had let go of a big burden.

There was a silence in the carriage, neither of them spoke, and Song Yu finally said after a long time: "When was it decided?"

"Before college." Cheng Fei said.

Song Yu chuckled, and said a little strangely: "I thought it was decided recently."

Cheng Fei turned to look at him, "How could I?"

"How is it impossible?" Song Yu seemed to be talking to herself, and said in a very soft voice, "When did you plan to tell me?"

"Actually, I've always wanted to tell you about this, but I never found the opportunity." Cheng Fei said.

Song Yu's expression seemed to want to laugh, but he didn't laugh, "Didn't find a chance?"

"It's true." Cheng Fei said sullenly, "Every time I wanted to tell you, I would be stumbling over various things, and before I knew it... I dragged it until now."

"Really." Song Yu said.

They were silent for a while, and Cheng Fei finally said, "We're only going for two years, and we'll be back in two years."

"You?" Song Yu was keenly aware of Cheng Fei's words, "Are you going with Lin Xuan?"

Cheng Fei nodded, "I'll go with him, it's been arranged before."

Song Yu tried his best to control the rushing things in his voice, "You two, go abroad together for two years?" He smiled shortly, "Where is it? England?"

"London." Cheng Fei grabbed Song Yuhang's hand by his side, "It's only been two years, and now there are many people in foreign relationships, it's not a big deal, and I will come back every year, there will be no change between us."

Song Yu didn't speak, and withdrew the hand held by Cheng Fei.

Cheng Fei looked at his empty palm, paused, and pursed his lips.

"Do you know that Lin Xuan likes you?" Song Yu said what he always wanted to say in his heart, but he didn't bother to say it.

"What?" Cheng Fei couldn't believe his ears.

Song Yu looked at him and said again, "Lin Xuan likes you, have you never felt it?"

"How is it possible?" Cheng Fei opened his mouth wide, and gave a short "ha" dryly, "Don't be ridiculous, he and I are buddies."

This is ridiculous.

Cheng Fei's reaction was within Song Yu's expectations, "You can ask him to see if he likes you."

Cheng Fei came out of the shock, and said resolutely and firmly: "Impossible, absolutely impossible."

Song Yu smiled, "Really?"

Cheng Fei stared, and it took several seconds to realize, "Do you mind if I go abroad with him?"

Song Yu put away the smile on his face and gave him a deep look.

"This, no, why do you mind this?" Cheng Fei finally came to his senses, and said impatiently, "Lin Xuan and I grew up together, and we live in the opposite house. The kind of familiarity that doesn't respond when we stand together. And Lin Xuan is a straight man, how could he like me, it's absolutely impossible."

"He told you himself that he likes girls? Has he ever had a girlfriend? Have you ever told you that he doesn't like you?" Song Yu threw out a series of questions, and Cheng Fei couldn't say a word when he pressed them.

"But..." Cheng Fei wanted to find a strong rebuttal point, but his mind was blank and he couldn't think of anything.

He tried very hard to recall the past actions of himself and Lin Xuan, trying to find out what caused Song Yu to misunderstand, "Is it because Lin Xuan lived in my house that made you unhappy? He... His parents are right He is not very good, that's why he came to live in my house, we are really pure buddies, nothing happened, and nothing happened."

"Forget it, let's not talk about this." Song Yu looked tired, "It's boring."

He didn't want to argue with Cheng Fei about this, and he didn't say it to discuss whether it was true or false.

Cheng Fei looked at Song Yu's silent side face, as if he had a premonition, the blood in his body began to coagulate gradually.He felt that his heartbeat slowed down for a moment, and then sped up when it was about to stop, beating vigorously, as if it was about to rush out of his chest.

Song Yu turned her head to look outside the car, her tone light and airy, "Did you know that in fairy tales, princes only save their own princesses?"

"What?" Cheng Fei didn't understand what he meant.

But the panic in his heart began to expand continuously, spreading to his limbs bit by bit, eating away at his flesh and blood.

He didn't even notice that his hand on the steering wheel was shaking slightly.

Song Yu looked down at the wooden box wrapped in velvet in his hand, and said softly, "Let's separate."

Sure enough, he still said it—this was the first thing that came to Cheng Fei's mind in a blank mind.

He forced a smile, but couldn't suppress the trembling in his voice, "What do you mean?"

Song Yu finally looked at him, and said calmly, "That's what you think."

Cheng Fei couldn't believe it, "Just because of Lin Xuan? Just because I went to study abroad with him? Didn't I say that I really have nothing to do with him, and it's impossible for him to like me. Even if he likes me, isn't it My fault?"

"Cheng Fei." Song Yu called his name, "You know, it's not because of this."

Not because of this, why?

Cheng Fei didn't ask, because as Song Yu said, he knew it.

How could there be only one Lin Xuan in the problem between them.

"You can't do this." Cheng Fei said with difficulty, his heart was overwhelmed by overwhelming panic, "You can't just decide our relationship like this."

"I can." Song Yu looked at Cheng Fei, his eyes were filled with unbelievable tenderness, and he repeated, "I can."

Cheng Fei suddenly collapsed, "Is it alright if I don't go to study abroad with Lin Xuan? I won't go either, I'll stay in China and be with you, don't do this... okay?"

Song Yu closed his eyes.

Cheng Fei looked at him in despair, and said helplessly, "Can we go together?"

Most of the despair in his heart at this time came from the fact that he knew that he could not change Song Yu's mind, nor could he make Song Yu take back what he said.

He was desperate because he knew they were really going to separate.

There is no room for it, and no hope of redemption.

"Is it okay not to separate?" Cheng Fei asked again.

Song Yu didn't answer, he didn't know how to answer, so he had to turn his face away, looking at the dark night outside the car window, and the extraordinarily dazzling street lights in the dark night.

"I don't want to break up." Cheng Fei said with difficulty, his voice was choked in his throat when he spoke, "I know I'm useless, and I also know that I have too many shortcomings, but I can change, I can learn, as long as you Tell me, I can change anything."

His hands started to tremble again, he clenched his hands tightly and gripped the steering wheel, concentrating all the strength in his body, the knuckles on his fingers were protruding, as if they were about to break out of the skin, "Don't... .break up with me."

He let go of all his self-esteem, even though he knew it was useless, he still prayed humbly.

Song Yu stared blankly at the street lamp outside the window, and repeated his words in a low voice, "Everything can be changed?" He smiled, "You don't need to change, you are fine, you are fine everywhere."

He originally wanted to say that he was the one who was bad, and he was the one who was wrong, but he was afraid that his words would hurt Cheng Fei, so he didn't say it out.

Cheng Fei listened to Song Yu's calm voice in a daze, and suddenly felt his eyes sore, thinking that he was crying, but when he raised his hand to touch his face, he found that there were no tears.

"I've been really tired for a while, very tired." Song Yu said softly, "But I found that I'm not the only one who is tired, you are even more tired than me."

"I didn't." Cheng Fei quickly retorted.

Song Yu bent the corner of his mouth, reached out and took Cheng Fei's hand that was tightly grasped on the steering wheel, and kneaded it in his hand.

"You always say that I'm skinny, but you haven't realized that you're skinny too. You're almost out of shape and ugly." Song Yu said, "Look at your own dark circles. The eyes are even bigger, how scary."

Cheng Fei didn't dare to move, he held his breath and looked at him.

But Song Yu's next sentence uttered directly hurt him, "Let's let the other party go."

"Live the life you should live, do what you should do, go to college well, if you want to see me, come to Wulong to find me, have a drink together. We all live the life we ​​should live, no one should Who are you torturing?" Song Yu smiled, and said something off topic, "By the way, I haven't told you yet, we are going to terminate the contract with DMD, and we will return to Oolong afterward."

A little monster popped out from the bottom of Cheng Fei's heart, bumping and biting wantonly in his heart, he looked at Song Yu with a face full of despair, "Are you tired of being with me?"

Song Yu held his hand silently, and there was a sadness in his expression that Cheng Fei had never seen before.

"Did I make you very tired?" Cheng Fei asked again without giving up.

But he didn't wait for Song Yu to answer and said again: "I'm not tired, I'm really not tired at all, I lost weight because I have a bad appetite recently, dark circles... Which college student doesn't have dark circles now, can this be What does it represent?"

He didn't want to hear Song Yu's answer at all, because he knew that Song Yu would never answer him, but he still insisted on asking.

"You are tired, right? Tell me what makes you feel tired. Can I change it?"

"Tell me, I'll change everything."

In the questioning without answering again and again, Cheng Fei told himself sadly in his heart: "You are finished."

Song Yu suddenly thought of a question when he was walking back to the apartment building from the entrance of the community. He stood under the street lamp, looked up at the light bulb with a yellow circle of light, and asked it softly, "It's so dark, aren't you afraid?"

This scene was a bit funny, and he felt quite funny after he finished speaking.

What kind of nerves do you have in the middle of the night.

But he still stood in front of the street lamp without moving. After a while, he took out the velvet belt Cheng Fei gave him, took out the wooden box from inside, and smiled silently when he saw the wooden box studded with diamonds.

Cheng Fei, a straight man, is really hopeless.

He opened the wooden box and found a note inside with a line written with a gel pen.

I will accompany you.

The writer must have written very hard at that time, and the handwriting was so hard that the paper was about to be torn.

Song Yu carefully read these five words from beginning to end several times, over and over again, tirelessly.

Suddenly, as if he couldn't bear it anymore, he slowly bent down, clutching his heart with one hand, tears fell from his eye sockets and hit the ground, merging with the darkness.

In the silent and empty space, he cried wantonly.

When Cheng Fei just got off the car, he smiled at him, the smile was far-fetched and pale, but he knew it at that time, and he would never forget this smile.

Cheng Fei loves to laugh, always laughing, as if he has endless joy, and what he likes the most is when Cheng Fei looks at him, his eyes sparkle and he smiles.Whenever he saw such a smile, he would feel that the darkness in his heart suddenly became brighter, as if a street lamp was lit.

But there is no other smile like the one just now that makes him unforgettable. Maybe one day in the future—tomorrow, next month, five years later, ten years later, this smile will suddenly appear when he is not prepared In his mind, this sudden smile will make him sad no matter what he is doing at the moment, no matter whether he is happy or sad at the moment, and then recall today.

Also remember their past.

The best time was at the very beginning, how good it was at that time, none of them could hurt anyone.

The author has something to say:

We broke up on the last day of 2018, hey

Today is the New Year's Eve. Although it is not yet 2019, Happy New Year! ! ! ! ! !