Accidental Hide and Seek

When Fan Weichen realized it, he panicked and panicked, sweating profusely thinking about how to make up for this statement. All this fell into Lin Xiyang's eyes, and he did not act abnormally or paranoidly.

He looked at Fan Weichen and was silent for a long time. Just when Fan Weichen was about to apologize, he suddenly spoke, and he said—it was not like that.

Reality will never be as beautiful as a fairy tale. The beauty of the entertainment industry is a phantom made of gold and stones. Lin Xiyang, who is in it, naturally needs some decorations.Chinese father, American mother, and won many awards abroad when he was young... The hypocritical life experience is just a means to cover up the scandal.

Lin Xiyang shook his head amusedly, "My father is a foreigner named Frank. He once stayed in China for two months on official business. My mother's surname is Lin and she used to be a receptionist in a hotel... It was just a dewy marriage, but my mother insisted that my father He loved her. After my father left, my mother believed that he would come back. I gave birth to me despite the opposition of my family and lost my job because of it... You should have guessed the ending. My mother’s infatuation was not reciprocated, and my father never came back , and she conceived me as an illegitimate child out of wedlock, so her reputation is naturally bad."

Lin Xiyang has almost forgotten how he spent his childhood, but he can be sure that he does not have the happiness and beauty of his peers, and his mother's alcoholism cannot give him a normal life, so he is kicked around like a football by his relatives. There is no meal, and this kind of life is not over until I meet Shao Shiting.

"However, there is only one thing I remember deeply when I was a child, that is, my mother would lock me in the room with the piano every time I went out, so that was my only "toy". I like the sound of the piano, and it accompanied me through life Many lonely hours..."

Lin Xiyang once also had dreams and hopes. He wanted to study music, he wanted to study abroad, but it was just a thought.In fact, because his family had no money, he didn't even go to college, and instead went to bars to play the piano to earn money. This was also the opportunity for him to meet Shao Shiting.

"I knew that I was not interested in girls when I was in high school, and I was sure about my sexual orientation when I was working, but it didn't matter at that time, no one cared what I liked, and I naively thought that two Men can really have a future..." After saying this, Lin Xiyang suddenly laughed at himself, "How fragile feelings are, it's ridiculous that I didn't realize it before."

Facing Lin Xiyang like this, Fan Weichen couldn't say anything, it was a feeling he couldn't understand, and it was unforgettable, but it should be considered a good thing that Lin Xiyang could tell something about the past...

"Don't think about these things. It's true to heal your wounds. Feelings... Ah, wait a minute!" Halfway through the conversation, Fan Weichen suddenly stopped, turned to get up and walked into the room.

Lin Xiyang's thoughts were pulled back and he was still a little confused. After a while, Fan Weichen took out his son wrapped in a thin blanket from the room. When he sat next to him again, Lin Xiyang noticed that the child seemed to be awake dimly. After snorting a few times, Fan Weichen carefully coaxed him into his arms, and soon the child fell asleep again.

"Are you all right?"

"It's okay, it's okay, the little cat wakes up in the middle of the night and is very sensitive to the surroundings, and he will cry when he doesn't see anyone." Fan Weichen replied with a smile, "I heard some movement just now, so I'll go and have a look."

Children's cries are sometimes loud and sometimes soft. Parents often listen to it almost as an instinctive concern, but Lin Xiyang can't do it, so he is a little envious.

"By the way, where did I go? That..."

Fan Weichen wanted to say something more, but Lin Xiyang stopped, "Stop talking, I know your kindness...you take care of me and stay with me tonight, I am already very grateful."

Yes, I am grateful. What Fan Weichen has done has exceeded a lot. Not to mention those relatives who only care about money, Lin Xiyang has never experienced such warmth even when he was with Shao Shiting, because they are always very busy. There is not even time to cook and talk together at home.

"Don't worry, I'm fine, I'm... fine..."

Hearing him blindly emphasizing his own situation, Fan Weichen felt upset. Although the young master had changed his habits over the years, his temper was still a bit capricious. He didn't understand, what's so good about Shao Shiting, why Lin Xiyang forced himself to be like this for him! ?

"What's the matter, are you alright?" Fan Weichen glanced at his hands.

These words obviously stimulated Lin Xiyang, his face changed slightly, and there was a hint of fear in his astonishment. This expression made Fan Weichen quickly realize the consequences of his indiscriminate words. He wanted to change his words, but he didn't know what to say. What.

In the unusual embarrassment, Lin Xiyang suddenly laughed dryly, the smile forced out of the corner of his mouth was very stiff, and his words were also extremely indifferent, "...do you think I am bad?"

"..."

"I also know that my situation is very bad, but... I can't control it. When I think about the past of living with him, I feel sick and want to vomit. When I see people, I feel headache and fear. I really can't do anything..."

These are not fake, and they are all abnormal. Lin Xiyang knew it himself, but he was helpless.

Lin Xiyang was lonely. From the moment he chose Shao Shiting, he cut off contact with his relatives, silently but firmly stated his sexuality, and was kicked out of the scope of "normal people". For Shao Shiting, he did everything. Everything he could do was cut off at the same time, and now he has nowhere to turn back, and he even lost one of his own hands for it. The future for him... seems to be gone.

It has nothing to do with beauty or ugliness, good or bad, right or wrong, true or false, Lin Xiyang's helplessness was fully revealed at this moment, and Fan Weichen was shaken.

It's not sympathy or pity, but another more subtle feeling. It may be because Lin Xiyang is very similar to Kitten, so Fan Weichen can't see him sad, and wants to comfort him, but finds that he has no position at all, a little unwilling and a little frustrated , This heavy sense of loss has never been seen before.Cherish the library card and don't spread it at will.

The conversation of the night stopped here and could not continue.

◇

"...Then the three of you slept in the living room all night because of someone surnamed Shao?" Situ Yao asked absent-mindedly with a straw of iced coffee in his mouth.

"What, I hugged the sleeping kitten, and then he fell asleep leaning against me again, I couldn't move and naturally fell asleep with him!"

Fan Weichen sat across from him wearing an apron, and the two of them were not afraid to be heard in the "Cat Paradise" where no one is allowed to enter.

The so-called "Maomao Paradise" is a small private room that Fan Weichen vacated in order to take care of his business while taking care of his son at the beginning of the store. There are toys, food, air-conditioning, sofas and TVs in it, just like a small lounge. It is full of pictures of kittens and cats, a very cute little house.

Since that night, Fan Weichen felt that something was wrong with him, especially when he saw Lin Xiyang, he felt uncomfortable when he saw it, and it was even more uncomfortable when he didn't see him, but he couldn't explain the reason himself, so, in order to find the answer, he could only Invite Situ Yao, a bad friend, to the store to "sit" and ask for opinions.

But well...

"Shiyao, did I say did you listen to the point? I'm talking about my feeling, feeling! Do you understand?"

Seeing that he was about to beat someone, Situ Yao hurriedly raised his hands in surrender and said, "OK, OK... I feel it, so what do you want to tell me after talking for a long time?"

"Hmm..." When asked this, Fan Weichen was embarrassed, "It's that kind of... um, sad, uncomfortable, wanting to say something to him, but don't know what to say... I don't know myself, so I just wanted to ask you, what exactly does this mean?"

Situ Yao was stunned, looked at Fan Weichen pondering for a while, and asked, "Will you be happy seeing him smile?"

"Yes, he looks pretty when he smiles."

"When he is sad, you also feel down?"

Fan Weichen nodded, "You also know that he is so similar to a kitten, and when he is sad, he is exactly the same as a kitten. I almost couldn't bear to go over to give him a hug."

"Then his surname Shao was dumped, how do you feel?"

"Hmm...it sounds like nothing, but after reading it, I feel very worried..."

"Forget it, let me ask in other words, if you can choose again, do you want them to separate or combine?"

To say that it is a cruel idea to divide, but to say it is very unfair to Lin Xiyang, Fan Weichen thought about it and finally replied: "The nature of such a person is hard to change, it is better to divide!"

"...Ah Chen, are you the same?"

"How long have you known me? I'm twin!"

"Oh, then congratulations, you are back, oh no, you have stepped into the whirlpool of love."

"……what?"

"Ah, what, you have a lot of experience in that field, but it doesn't mean that you also have a lot of experience in love. Maybe it's not as good as that of your family!" Situ Yao was discussing the matter.

In the past, Fan Weichen liked to hang out in nightclubs. He liked to have a room with the men and women he liked. Headache.As for love, he jumps directly to the level of "father" without any experience.

Hearing this, Fan Weichen's mouth naturally formed an O shape, but soon gradually recovered, and he began to think seriously.

"You mean... I like him?"

"Shouldn't you be in love with him?"

"But we have only been together for more than a month, and I was terrified of him before!" Fan Weichen was a little unbelievable, or even unbelievable.

Situ Yao shrugged, "Feelings, if you meet them, you meet them. There's no reason for that... But if you're just impulsive, I advise you not to look for him."

In Situ Yao's eyes, Lin Xiyang is the most untouchable kind, because he doesn't take feelings as a trifle, and if he wants to have fun, he must never find this kind of person, otherwise he will lose his life!

"Of course, if you really want to live with him for the rest of your life, then I'll say "Congratulations" first." As he spoke, Situ Yao took out two bags from his side, "I almost forgot about this, here, kitten Gifts for cats, toys, and..."

"That little windbreaker I gave you on the website, right?" Fan Weichen continued his words, and took out the little clothes he had chosen to have a look, "Yeah, it's not bad."

Situ Yao looked at his excited look from the side, and suddenly thought, "Ah Chen, about the kitten and your family...have you talked to your family?"

"Uh..." This question overwhelmed Fan Weichen, "I'm thinking about it."

consider?Situ Yao raised his brows, and the look of watching the show immediately turned on his brows, "Yes, this matter must be carefully considered!"

After sending Situ Yao away, Fan Weichen immediately went upstairs with two big bags. At this time, Kitten and his father were watching a DVD together. The eerie content was the ghost movie that gave Fan Weichen the most headaches, but obviously at this point The cognition kitten on the Internet still followed Lin Xiyang, the two of them could laugh and watch ghost movies as comedies, but poor Fan Weichen could only tremble alone beside him.

"Little cat, please stop for a moment and come over to see the toys and clothes Uncle Yao gave you."

As soon as he finished speaking, the little cat came to report to him: "Oh yeah, toys!"

Children of this age always like toys. As for clothes, everything is a matter for parents to worry about. Lin Xiyang also walked over curiously, but when he saw the trademark on the gift bag, he was a little dumbfounded.

"...Your friend, you are really generous."

Fan Weichen smiled, but didn't hear the implication. After all, he never knew what restraint was when buying clothes for his son.His parents know about seasonal discounts, but he only knows how to snap up new products. As long as his son looks good in clothes, he will still buy them no matter how expensive they are. Anyway, someone will pay for them!

"It's handsome!"

Fan Weichen eagerly put the small windbreaker on his son for Lin Xiyang to see.Although there are no matching clothes or pants, the style of the windbreaker itself is the latest this year. The design is trendy and stylish. The kitten looks good, and it is naturally handsome and childlike when worn.

Lin Xiyang smiled and nodded, "Very nice."

To get his praise, the happiest person is not Kitty, but Fan Weichen, just like a child who has been praised, smiling very contentedly.

At this time, no one realizes that their lives have tended to the most ordinary happiness.

◇

Well, take back the foreword, at least until Lin Xiyang has not stepped out of the shadows, this kind of life is still not a complete happiness.

Although Shao Shiting's wedding and the night talk that night made Lin Xiyang realize the reality, it still couldn't cut off the obstacles in his heart. The involuntary tension and fear when seeing people, and the repulsion and rejection of the past, except for kittens, Fan Weichen became the only one who could get close to him.

One afternoon, Kitty Maomao took a new toy to the neighbor's children's house to play together, and there were only two of them left in the house.

With nothing else to do, Fan Weichen went into the kitchen to make some pastries, while Lin Xiyang sat on the sofa that was Kitty's favorite, and after a while of silence, he held the remote control, took a deep breath and turned on the TV.

When he heard the human voice from the TV, Fan Weichen was startled, and immediately put down what he was doing and was about to turn it off, but Lin Xiyang stopped him before he touched the remote control.

"It's okay... I drove it."

The difference in age made Lin Xiyang understand certain things better than Fan Weichen. He knew he couldn't go on like this, and he knew he had to cheer up, but he didn't know exactly how to do it, so he could only bite the bullet and insist on getting rid of it quickly. With the shadow in my heart, I thought of this method of "fighting poison with poison".

That's what he said, but Fan Weichen could feel the uneasiness and apprehension in his voice, and sat beside him when he was worried.Lin Xiyang did not stop, but focused on watching the TV screen, even though his face was gradually pale, he did not divert his gaze.

At this time, there was no entertainment breaking news, but the TV station didn't know which nerve was wrong. In the fashion show that was broadcast on weekdays, they actually made a special episode of celebrity babies, and Shao Shiting's children were also recorded in it.

The baby was born a few days after their wedding. It was a girl. Not long after she was born, her photo was posted on her mother's blog. Fan Weichen saw the introduction and knew for the first time that Shao Shiting's wife was not just a group The chairman's favorite is also a fashion model, so it's not difficult to explain why Shao Shiting has something to do with her.

Lin Xiyang looked at the picture of the child, bit his lower lip tightly, with a look of resentment and unwillingness, but when the man's smiling face appeared on the screen, he actually grabbed the cushion beside him and threw it over.

"Be careful!"

Fan Weichen pulled him, not wanting him to get too excited, but he didn't know what to say to comfort him, while Lin Xiyang curled up on the sofa, hiding his severed hand, with his head buried between his legs and his whole body trembling.

After a long time, the muffled voice came slowly, "I... I knew it was like this..."

"Know?"

Lin Xiyang raised his head slowly, looked at the TV screen and said leisurely: "No matter how much he values ​​it, no matter how much he likes it... In his heart, I will never be the first."

Fan Weichen opened his mouth but did not make a sound. After a while of silence, he asked, "Do you want him to put you first?"

Lin Xiyang didn't answer quickly, but finally nodded.

Since he was a child without the care of his parents and relatives, Lin Xiyang has become extremely paranoid in terms of emotional convenience. He wants a warmth, a family, and a complete love. Whether he is selfish or caressing, he just wants Becoming the number one existence in someone's heart is not exclusive, but a proof - proof that there are still people in the world who will love you.

"He said he loves me, but I think he loves his job more..."

"Then why do you like him?" Fan Weichen asked.

"He was... the only one who was kind to me."

After hearing this, Fan Weichen didn't wait to think, and blurted out, "Being kind to you doesn't mean I can hurt and use you casually!"

"...!"

Other than using and hurting, Fan Weichen couldn't find any other words to describe what Shao Shiting brought to Lin Xiyang. Although the car accident was not caused by him, if he really cherished it, then these things would never have happened!

When Lin Xiyang heard this, the initial shock passed, and what appeared in his eyes was the resentment just now.

"Yes, he doesn't have the qualifications, but I can't change it..."

This is what makes him hate the most!

He shouldn't care about it, shouldn't be jealous, and shouldn't put himself in such a mess for this man, but he can't change it.He couldn't help but care about the relationship of the past eight years, and he couldn't help but envy that person's life now. He had everything, job, status, money, love, marriage, family, children... But he lost everything, even the only one. The way to earn a living is blocked, how does this cheer him up! ?

The expression was almost desperate, and Lin Xiyang was tormented by infinite pain, making him unable to escape from the swamp of the past.

Seeing this, Fan Weichen stretched out his hands involuntarily. He wanted to help him, to liberate him from the pain, and hoped that he could return to the way he was before—the man who caught his attention when he first met.

Stretching out his hands to hold Lin Xiyang's arms, he made him look up at him naturally. Looking at those charming and sad amber eyes, Fan Weichen felt that he was being tempted, so he spoke so naturally, without deliberate exaggeration or exaggeration. Emphasize that everything seems to be so logical.

"Without that man, you still have Kitty, and I... We will accompany you, so do you want to come with me?"

◇

Facing the sudden confession, Lin Xiyang was dumbfounded, but Fan Weichen was relieved.Although there was no response, he finally said it out of his mouth.The unusual embarrassment made Lin Xiyang a little unaccustomed, but the excitement and paleness just now had disappeared from his face, at least he didn't have to worry that he would fall into self-pity again. Thinking about it another way, it's always good.

Fan Weichen was not in a hurry to ask for an answer, and only said that he could think about it carefully. After that, the relationship between the two of them returned to the previous mode, what to do, but Lin Xiyang was at a loss.If it was said that Shao Shiting brought him disaster and pain before, then Fan Weichen definitely brought him shock and surprise.

Lin Xiyang knew that Fan Weichen loved Kitten and Mao, and also knew that he was a good person, but that was the end of his knowledge.He always thought that it was because of his blood relationship with Kitten and Fan Weichen's kindness that he helped himself in this way, but just like that, he never put Fan Weichen in the perspective of a lover, because, because this is not right at all. possible thing.

In the evening, when Kitty and Maomao came home, the three of them had dinner together. Fan Weichen was all smiling, just like before, and there was no difference at all. Instead, Lin Xiyang seemed a little dull because he cared too much about this matter.

When it was time to take a bath, Lin Xiyang was embarrassed, because it was inconvenient to cut off his hand, in the past, Fan Weichen went in to help him wash it, and there was no extra thought at that time, after all, homosexuals are not in heat with anyone... But now it is different, Fan Weichen From another perspective, Lin Xiyang would feel embarrassed.

But obviously, this was his wishful thinking. The nervous Fan Weichen skipped over the column of shyness, and continued to carry a small bench into the bathroom to fill him with water for a bath.

Lin Xiyang was embarrassed but couldn't refuse his kindness, so he half-pushed and put his clothes into the bathtub, while Fan Weichen also sat by the bathtub and began to wash his hair as usual.

Fan Weichen's hands are very gentle, because he also bathed the kitten before, he will not hurt Lin Xiyang, but will rub it very comfortably, with a sense of rhythm.

Lin Xiyang sat in the bathtub, felt the gentle movements, and felt a little confused.When Fan Weichen hummed a ditty in his ear, he couldn't help asking: "Are you kidding..."

"Huh? What?"

"The thing about being together..." Lin Xiyang said lightly, he didn't have confidence, "Don't worry, I didn't take it seriously."

Once bitten by a snake for three years, he was afraid of well ropes, not to mention that Lin Xiyang hadn't recovered from the previous blow.In his eyes, Fan Weichen is a good man. He has gone from his previous gangster temperament, and now his appearance and conduct are impeccable. There is no need for such a person to spend his whole life guarding a useless person. He will have a better future. Like Shao Shiting...

But Fan Weichen who heard the words suddenly interrupted his thoughts, without thinking too much, he replied directly: "No, I'm very serious."

He didn't think too much about Lin Xiyang's thoughts, Fan Weichen just said what he wanted to say.

"I can't do it? Not your type? Or do you not like me? I can correct my shortcomings..."

"It's not like that... Homosexuality is already very troublesome, and you are still young, I..."

"No way, can't you accept someone younger than you?" Fan Weichen was shocked, and even the movement of his hands stopped.

His exaggerated tone made people laugh, Lin Xiyang looked up at him and said, "I mean your future possibility is greater than mine...I don't think we should confuse sympathy with love."

"Have you messed around?" Fan Weichen frowned, and he didn't have an answer, but he knew he had something he wanted, "Would you like to try with me anyway? Anyway, I can't be with other people. Together, you don’t have to worry about getting hurt.”

"Not with other people? Why?" Lin Xiyang felt strange.

Speaking of this, Fan Weichen also felt a little helpless, continued to move his hands, rubbed some bubbles and said, "Because Kitty Maomao can't accept other men or women as his father and mother."

As a soul boy, Kitty Maomao has a strong desire to possess his parents. In the eyes of the child, there should be no one else around his parents except each other, so Fan Weichen can't get close to other people. Will cry down the Great Wall to show him.

"Then these five years..."

"I solved it all with my hands." Fan Weichen was not afraid to tell others, "Hey...it's really miserable."

Lin Xiyang blushed a little when he heard this topic, and immediately shifted to ask: "Then you...have no lovers before?"

There are many bed partners, both men and women can benefit from it, but when it comes to lovers...

"No." Fan Weichen felt that he had failed in life at this time, and sighed in frustration, "After being cut off from father and son by my father, I pretended not to know anyone I knew before, let alone anything else."

"...is your father?"

"Uh, my family is a 'hardware store', and my father is the chairman." Fan Weichen weighed his words carefully, "Both my father and grandpa were able to make money, so I used to be considered a rich second, oh, a rich third...but they were all It's past tense."

"So, it is impossible for me to fall in love with others now, so you don't have to be afraid that I will cheat..." Fan Weichen said, shaking off the foam in his hand, "Come on, lie down a little, I will help you wash your hair clean."

There was no difficulty in doing the movements he was used to. Lin Xiyang slowly sank down, and after a while he could feel the warm water flowing over his head.

Lin Xiyang closed his eyes, relaxed himself, and seriously thought about what Fan Weichen said just now, his heart was a little shaken.

He fell too badly before, so he is no longer confident in the next success. The "together" proposed by Fan Weichen to him is not so much a "new beginning" as a "place to hide".Don't think about the future and happiness, Lin Xiyang only understands one thing - Fan Weichen can't betray himself, because he has a child, because he loves Kitten, and he...

"Okay." Opening his eyes suddenly, Lin Xiyang replied with a guilty conscience, "Let's... give it a try."

"Really, you agreed?" This answer couldn't be better, Fan Weichen was so happy.

Lin Xiyang nodded, and couldn't bear his excitement, because he knew that for Fan Weichen, he might not be able to give the deep affection he had for Shao Shiting. He was afraid and didn't want to repeat the same mistakes, so he could only... Try it.

Fan Weichen was very happy without hearing the implication. He didn't say what the next step would be, but just hearing him say yes made him feel very satisfied. That feeling was something he had never experienced before, probably just love.

"By the way, since that's the case, the title should be changed too. Calling me by name is too outlandish. You can call me Ah Chen in the future, so what should I call you?" Fan Weichen asked with a smile.

Lin Xiyang thought for a while, and was about to answer "Xiyang", but Shao Shiting's voice immediately appeared in his mind, making his syllable stay on the sound of "Xi".

Fan Weichen didn't know why, but readily accepted the answer.

"Hey? Okay, I'll call you that from now on."

Looking at the big boy's smile, Lin Xiyang couldn't veto it, he could only keep the guilt in his heart, and said silently: I'm sorry.