troubled times reckless

I seemed to be asleep at night, but many faces passed in front of me like ghosts.

There was Song Haoyuan, there was Liu Ruxu, there was Liang Zhiyuan, there was Wang Quan...all of them were in a mess, so strange that I even thought I had come to another world.

Opening my eyes, I looked around exhaustedly...it's morning...still the same ceiling, same window, same bedding...same sunshine...

The brilliant light shone on my face, as if the darkness of those nights had never existed, and I felt a trance.

I saw a person sitting by the bed, I frowned slightly and moved my body lightly.

The man turned his face: "Jingyu...you're awake!"

His eyes were red, and there were even tears at the corners of his eyes. A fine line spread from the eye circles, haggard and pale.

I propped myself up and sat up: "You...why are you here?"

He suddenly jumped on me and started to cry: "You... Ever since your household registration was given to Liang Zhiyuan, I have missed you so much... Woooo... But I am not your father anymore, I am afraid that you will dislike me and dare not come Look at you... Later Chongyu told me that you were arrested, I was so scared to death, I couldn't sleep...It's good that you are released now..."

"Hiss... you... let go..." He took a breath, his chest was covered with wounds from the whip, which were not healed yet.

"Oh..." He raised his face obediently, wiping away the tears already on his face.

Only then did I realize that he was wearing new clothes, which were the presents I gave him the last time I saw him.

Wiping his tears with the corner of the quilt, I smiled and said, "Don't cry, my lord...I'm fine."

He choked with sobs: "Well... as long as Jingyu is fine..."

For some reason, when I saw him, the hatred, panic, and darkness disturbed in my sleep seemed to be calmed down by a warm force.

The sun shone into the room, making the satin quilt look golden. When he raised his eyes, he quickly found the white hair mixed with his black hair.

I suddenly remembered that when I was very young, he held my hand and walked forward.

At that time, I hated him a little because of his cowardice.

This dislike disappeared after he clumsily protected me time and time again.

At this time, there was a knock on the door, but I saw my eldest brother push the door in neatly dressed, still wearing a long gown, but I smiled lightly: "Jingyu is awake... Dad has always wanted to see you, so you should have a good talk with him .”

As soon as he saw his eldest brother's face, the memories of last night's affair came to mind bit by bit.

I hooked the corners of my mouth, but didn't speak.

The eldest brother said again: "Put on your clothes and don't catch cold. I will come out for dinner with Dad later."

I nodded and the door closed.

"Jingyu, come here." The arm was shaken, pulling my thoughts back.

The clothes were handed to me, and when I took them, he looked at me with satisfaction. I thought, he is really old... Liang Zhiyuan has his own ideals, so he has no self for women and children. It's important, but this person seems to have always regarded me as the center of his life from the very beginning.Just because I... called him Dad.

"Father...let me go for a while." I put on my clothes, lifted the quilt and stood up.

His eyes widened in surprise: "You What do you call me?"

I put my arms around his shoulder and said with a smile: "It's been called for so many years, and you still haven't gotten used to it?"

When he saw me smiling, he smiled too, his eyes narrowed into a slit, and many crow's feet spread out from the corners of his eyes.

"Jingyu..."

I got up and took the coat from the closet, looked back at him, and saw that he was still smiling.I said, "Let's go out and have breakfast."

Pushing open the door, I saw that the furnishings in the living room had been changed. It seemed that the room had changed overnight. The previous western ornaments had disappeared, and all the Chinese furniture that my elder brother liked... New carpets, new desks , the new sofa...

I saw the elder brother leaning on the chair with his face propped up, Jingui came in at some point and stood beside the elder brother to report.

Seeing my father and I coming out, the eldest brother waved his hand, and Jingui bowed and backed out.This place really seems to be the second small mansion of Luo.

A Chinese breakfast was already set on the table, still steaming.I walked over and sat down, and pulled a chair for Dad by the way.

"Did you sleep well?" The eldest brother sat down opposite us and smiled.

I saw the sun shining through his eyelashes, casting a circle of dark shadows around his eyelids, which half covered the indifference and coldness in his eyes, revealing some charm.The white skin on the face is smooth and flawless, but it still looks pale in the sun, only a pair of eyes are as black as a deep pool, and the bottom cannot be seen.

I looked at him and said nothing.

He smiled nonchalantly, and brought some food for Dad: "Come, Dad, eat while it's hot."

"Yeah." Dad stuffed it into his mouth obediently.

I picked up a crystal dumpling and put it in my mouth.

"Jingyu..." Dad said, "Don't make Chongyu angry anymore...I know Chongyu, a child who doesn't care about anyone...I just care about your well-being. Can you do it this time? Come out, thanks to Chongyu. You are a younger brother, and it is only natural for him to let you help you, but you should also be considerate of him, and don't let him worry about you all the time."

I said "uh..." on my lips.

A pair of silver chopsticks was poked into the plate, and a piece of tender shallot tofu was put down.The fingertips on the chopsticks are round, protruding from the bamboo-colored cuffs.

Watching him pick up food for me, I can't help but think...

...Me and him...and why did it become like this?

The exquisite long gown has already buttoned up the neckline, but it still can't hide the traces I left on it yesterday.

I was confused, as if washed to the shore by a huge wave of fate, and when I looked up, I saw him.

He just stood there, leaning over me, as if he had been waiting for me for many years.

I don't know why, but I feel that way.

"Jingyu... drink more soup." The elder brother urged.

I nodded and picked up the porcelain bowl.

I saw that when he was eating, the tip of his tongue was faintly visible in the color of his lips... I swallowed the soup in my mouth, and my Adam's apple couldn't help moving.

The jade wrench still lay quietly on his hand.

It's as if his power, his indifference, his disguise...have never changed.

Putting down the bowl, I wiped my mouth with a napkin.

He's strong, I know that.

But today, he seemed to be afraid that I would get angry when I got up, so he dragged my father here, maybe he wanted to please me.Thinking of this, I can't help but feel proud.

Before... I resisted him.

I even hate myself for not being able to stretch myself in front of him.

But all this changed yesterday, no matter how strong he is, so what?

Can't you just be conquered by me?

No matter how strong he is...everything he does is for the purpose of being able to lie under me.

In this world...even if he conquered thousands of mountains and rivers, and stepped on thousands of corpses and bones...but I alone can conquer him.

He has no choice.

Yesterday I was angry, even terrified, I felt like he was controlling me, that I had lost to him.

But today, everything seems to have changed.

The same world, in my eyes, has a different color.

He reached out to pick up food for the old man, but the feet under the table were wrapped around the long gown of the person opposite.

He looked up at me.In the deep eyes, there are some things that I seem to understand after all.

When I laughed, he was taken aback and didn't speak.