I have known love for many years

Fei Lian thought that Bai Xuecheng would ask about the hotel, but Bai Xuecheng didn't ask. The two chatted about their experiences in the past few years, as if they were really old friends who hadn't seen each other for a long time. The bit by bit feeling is back.

Fei Lian was sitting in a chair, listening to the noisy night market, watching Bai Xuecheng talking and laughing while holding a wine glass, the neon lights were mottled on his face, making that smile reveal the vitality and endless beauty in his memory At that moment, Fei Lian really regretted it. If they hadn't broken up, if they hadn't had such a big quarrel, if they had had a good talk a long time ago...

Maybe he can still have this smile now, and he can be saved by this smile when he is the most tired and confused.

Fei Lian felt that he was not drunk, but looking at Bai Xuecheng's smile, he felt as if he was drunk, very drunk.

Bai Xuecheng sighed: "...so I just... Fei Lian? Are you listening to me?"

Fei Lian came back to his senses, and the reflex arc circled around before he realized it, and said, "Well, I'm listening, that sink..." Fei Lian picked up a bunch of baked potatoes and ate them, pretending to be nonchalant, and said, "I have someone I know who can make it custom-made, why don't you contact him and try?"

"Really?" Bai Xuecheng was amused, "That's really a coincidence."

Fei Lian fidgeted for a while, and said, "That... the Jiang Fan I met before, Chen Xin said that you met in the game?"

Bai Xuecheng: "..."

Bai Xuecheng said in his heart: Chen Xin, you can push your blame on me?But anyway, when Chen Xin was kind at the beginning, Bai Xuecheng naturally wouldn't expose him, so he nodded perfunctorily.

"Ah, yes." Bai Xuecheng said, "The game we played together before, remember? It's in that guild."

Fei Lian thought of it, he groaned, and said again: "Are you still playing?"

"Occasionally." Bai Xuecheng smiled dryly.

The barbecue restaurant is overcrowded, and the windshield curtain keeps the cold wind out.

The winter wind rolled up the dead leaves and raged through the middle of the road. It seemed that there were two worlds inside and outside the store.Bai Xuecheng was sweating from eating, took off his coat and rolled up his sleeves, Fei Lian's coat was stained with oil, and his expression, which was always too serious in the eyes of outsiders, seemed to have softened a lot, giving it a bit of a worldly air.

It wasn't until we were almost done eating, and it was getting late, that Bai Xuecheng said: "You came to the hotel that day..."

Fei Lian paused, thinking: I finally asked.

Who knew that Bai Xuecheng said, "I'm very happy."

Fei Lian: "..."

Fei Lian was taken aback for a moment, but before he recovered, he heard Bai Xuecheng say, "Do you have a boyfriend now? Where's your girlfriend?"

Fei Lian subconsciously shook his head: "No."

Bai Xuecheng raised his eyebrows: "That woman in the movie theater that day..."

"That's my cousin." Fei Lian said blankly, "Don't get me wrong, that's my cousin. I don't have...a boyfriend, let alone a girlfriend."

Bai Xuecheng stared at Fei Lian for a while, tapped his fingers on the table twice, then suddenly lowered his head and laughed.

Fei Lian: "?"

Bai Xuecheng rubbed his nose, and said a little embarrassedly: "Me neither."

Fei Lian suddenly felt something, he couldn't believe it, and his heart beat violently like a drum.He felt that maybe he should think of something else, if it wasn't what he guessed, wouldn't he be very disappointed?

But...disappointed?Fei Lian felt something was wrong.How can you be disappointed if you never expected it?

Fei Lian's mind was in a mess, but he didn't know that Bai Xuecheng's mind was also in a mess at this time.

He stretched out his hand and poured himself another glass of wine, using the wine to boost his courage, he said: "We are all adults now, not children, what...there is not so much time to waste, and there is no time to waste It’s necessary. Let’s stop talking about it, I just want to ask…”

Bai Xuecheng swallowed his saliva, and pinched the cup nervously: "Are you short of a boyfriend?"

Fei Lian was stunned for a moment, he didn't know how to react.

He stared blankly at Bai Xuecheng for a long time, he didn't want to understand how things developed like this.Shouldn't they have been estranged from each other?Shouldn't it be... is everything over?It ended six years ago?

Fei Lian rarely stuttered: "I... no, what do you mean?"

Bai Xuecheng was also a little incoherent, two 30-year-old men in the crowded barbecue shop, flushed like two big fools, one stuttered than the other: "Just, I just want to ask you, is there any shortage of men?" Friend, why don't you understand human language?"

Bai Xuecheng was a little annoyed, and patted the table: "Just say it's missing, or not!"

Fei Lian's tense muscles tensed up: "No."

Bai Xuecheng pinched his red ears: "I'm missing it too, what do you think, I..."

Before Bai Xuecheng finished speaking, Fei Lian suddenly stood up.

Bai Xuecheng was taken aback: "Hey? What's wrong?"

Fei Lian walked out in a panic, got up and turned over the chair, his thigh touched the corner of the table with a muffled bang, and it hurt when he heard it.

Bai Xuecheng hurriedly followed: "I haven't finished talking yet...Aren't you in pain? Slow down!"

After Fei Lian paid the bill, he was almost walking on the same foot. He quickly pushed the door out, and the cold wind cleared his dizzy mind a little.

He went down the steps, but was grabbed by Bai Xuecheng behind him.

"Fei Lian!" Bai Xuecheng shouted, "If you don't agree, just say a word! Are you still a man?! What does it mean to run away before listening to the words?!"

How about Bai Xuecheng being impulsive and emotional?If it were an ordinary person, he probably knew that he was rejected, maybe he didn't even have the courage to chase after him and question him, but Bai Xuecheng didn't care about it, he pulled Fei Lian's arm and shouted: "You don't want to have sex with me?" Involvement, then why are you chasing after me to the hotel? If I'm wishful thinking, it's also your fault!"

"I'm sorry..." Fei Lian said suddenly.

Bai Xuecheng was taken aback.

There are no people on the street, and occasionally a car speeds by, rolling up fallen leaves.The wind pulled their hair, and the shadow of the street lamp swayed on the ground, Bai Xuecheng's alcohol finally subsided a little.

He hesitated for a moment and let go of Fei Lian's hand: "What apology?"

"I shouldn't bother you, I'm...too selfish." Fei Lian took a deep breath and looked into Bai Xuecheng's eyes, "There's still six years ago, I broke up with you without any explanation, Sorry for breaking your heart. I owe you this apology."

Bai Xuecheng: "..."

Bai Xuecheng took a step back, put his hands in his pockets, and tucked his chin into the collar of his down jacket.

The sweat he had eaten was gone by the wind at this moment, and his whole heart was throbbing and aching slightly hidden in the warm clothes.He smiled wryly and said, "Oh, I'm being self-indulgent, okay."

Bai Xuecheng turned around to leave, walked two steps and then backed away, his tone was very stiff: "I don't blame you for what happened six years ago. No matter what your reasons are, I know you are not... You didn't mean to hurt me on purpose .At that time we were all too young and didn’t understand a lot of things, so it’s okay.”

Bai Xuecheng pretended to be nonchalant and turned his head sideways, squinting at the man: "I told you six years ago, it doesn't matter, don't keep remembering it, it's all over."

Fei Lian's nose felt sour instantly. He wanted to give Bai Xuecheng a hug, but he couldn't open his hands.He felt that his whole body was so heavy that he couldn't breathe.

He didn't know how to explain to Bai Xuecheng, explain his family, explain his helplessness, explain that he didn't know if Bai Xuecheng would be hurt again in the future—maybe that hurt would come from Bai Xuecheng's family, It will come from his family, it will come from the colored glasses of outsiders, and it will come from many, many unexpected places.

He didn't want to make Bai Xuecheng sad, but looking back, it seemed that he was the one who made Bai Xuecheng sad every time.

Fei Lian opened his mouth, but in the end there was only one sentence: "I'm sorry."

Bai Xuecheng stared at him without saying a word, and walked away after a while.

The night wind was cold and silent like some kind of silent howling, Fei Lian stared at the ground, his fingers and the tip of his nose were cold, but he didn't seem to notice it.He just stood there blankly for an unknown amount of time before the sound of footsteps returned.

Immediately, a hand pulled him fiercely, Fei Lian raised his head, before he could see clearly, his eyes dimmed, and a cold kiss fell on his lips.

Bai Xuecheng put one hand in front of Fei Lian's eyes, took Fei Lian's collar with the other, and kissed him so rudely and simply.

In the dead of night on the road, under the dim street lights, and in the howling winter wind, Fei Lian felt that his brain was probably frozen, and actually played the song "Kiss Goodbye" on a loop.

Bai Xuecheng's kiss was very short, the tip of his tongue hooked Fei Lian's lips lightly and then backed away.

His hand was still on Fei Lian's eyes, not knowing whether to block Fei Lian's view or to block his own, he said in a grumpy tone: "I don't know what you are thinking, I am not your stomach Don't give me the set of 'you don't understand my heart', no one will accompany you to make a bitter TV series!"

Bai Xuecheng roared: "If you really don't want to have anything to do with me, if you really... don't care, then don't act like you're about to cry! Who are you going to see?!"

Fei Lian's throat moved, but he didn't speak.

Bai Xuecheng paused for a while, and seemed to curse secretly, his voice was too low for Fei Lian to hear clearly.

Immediately, I heard the man say word by word: "I like you Fei Lian, I'll just say it straight, I like you, I still like you. If you still... have that thought, I want to try again."

Fei Lian's heartbeat almost stopped, he thought: why?why are you so niceBut I don't deserve you at all.

Bai Xuecheng slowly took away his hand, his palm was already soaked, Fei Lian closed his eyes, his eyelashes trembled, and tears fell down his face uncontrollably.

Bai Xuecheng smiled lightly and said, "You are still the same as before, crybaby."

Fei Lian raised his hand to cover his eyes, a whimper of unknown tune came out of his throat, Bai Xuecheng pulled him into a hug, and patted the back of his neck.

Bai Xuecheng leaned into his ear and said, "You chased me once, this time I chase you once, are we even?"

Fei Lian couldn't laugh or cry, his voice was hoarse: "Are you stupid?"

Bai Xuecheng sighed: "Yes, can I fall in love with you if I'm not stupid?"

Fei Lian finally raised his heavy hands slowly, his mother's hysterical screams flashed through his mind, the bewilderment and confusion of knowing his own sexuality for the first time, and the heartbeat and excitement when he fell in love with Bai Xuecheng flashed across his mind. Joy, flashed through the six years of loneliness and loneliness.

He had already planned to be single for the rest of his life not to harm anyone, but now, he once again had a piece of luck.

Although he didn't know how long it would last, Fei Lian had a thought: this time he might not be willing to let go.

Fei Lian finally hugged Bai Xuecheng back, and buried his face in his neck: "Are you short of a boyfriend?"

His muffled voice seemed a little embarrassed, a little ashamed, a little uneasy.

As before, Bai Xuecheng had no resistance to Fei Lian's appearance, and his heart softened for no reason. He also trembled a little when he heard his own voice: "Que."

"...how do you see me?"

Bai Xuecheng closed his eyes and smiled, and then the smile got bigger and bigger, his eyes were slightly red: "There is no one better than you."