I have had him walk hand in hand in my life

20

I had sex with him for the first time on the night of my 23rd birthday. In order to avoid regretting and blaming him, he recorded a video of me saying that I wanted to marry him. Word.

Two men together, to be honest, I am also human and find it ridiculous.

But after calming down, it was the first time I thought about a problem so calmly. I could live without a wife but I couldn't live without him. Before I knew it, he had already taken up half of my life, and having him gave me inexplicable peace of mind.

In this life, it seems that I can only admit defeat.

I never dared to ask Yige why it was me, until he came back with injuries all over his body, and the reason that had been hidden in my heart for a long time was exposed in front of me.

Yi Ge was born with it, and he had planned it long ago!

I calmly listened to what he said without answering, and he continued, "I want to be with you openly, so I'm coming out."

I suddenly felt a lump in my throat, "...then my mother should know too."

Over the years, we have gotten closer and closer. Both parents have noticed it. It is hard for me to think that it is me.

"I'm sorry." He lowered his head, clenched fists betraying his emotions.

On the contrary, I am very calm, since I have already decided, I will stick to it to the end.

"I'm going to ask for a leave of absence, you also put your work at hand aside, we'll book the earliest flight to go abroad tomorrow." I looked at him, "By the way, I'll show you the injury, and let them calm down during this time. "

He looked at me in surprise and said, "Are you still willing?"

"So what if you don't want to? You fucking can let me go straight back."

He didn't speak, and I continued, "Yi Ge, there is something I have to tell you before going abroad. I am already like this, and you have made me a useless person. If you dare to abandon me, I will kill you and then commit suicide."

"Okay." He answered decisively.

"You also need to leave me a note to give all your property to my mother."

"it is good."

"If you don't die, you will be my mother's son and take care of her for a hundred years."

"it is good."

"I'm going to see the paper you wrote now."

"it is good."

Then there was the back of him running to the small shop downstairs, and I watched him leave and cried loudly.

21

The first time Yige said to me: "I love you" was the night he signed the unequal note, and I pretended to be asleep and didn't respond to him.

It has been more than half a month since I came back from abroad, I think they should have calmed down almost, and my attitude can be seen from the fact that I shut down the phone and did not give any audio when I went abroad.

He came home with me, and we braced ourselves for great blame, only to find the house empty and empty.

I called my parents but no one got through. In the end, it was Yige who called her mother before I found out that my mother was hospitalized.

When I rushed to the hospital to see them, my mother called my name with a pale face and said nothing.

I thought they would use this hospitalization to force me to separate from Yige, but they didn't, they seemed to be ignorant of this matter from the beginning to the end and didn't mention anything, they just said coldly when Yige came to see them: "You go ! We don’t need outsiders for our family’s affairs.”

My mother was very cooperative with the treatment, but her condition went from bad to worse. Looking at her face that was getting thinner and thinner, I couldn't taste it.

Know the child Moruo mother.

We know each other that this silent contest is taking out the deadliest weapon to hurt the closest relatives.

I have always been a soft-hearted person, and this silent protest really almost made me surrender.

22

I promised my mother that I would break up with Yige when she recovered, and then her condition improved.

Yi Ge came to see me in the hospital, I subconsciously wanted to escape, I always felt sorry for him because I had something hidden in my heart.I didn't really want to separate from him, I just felt guilty.

Yi Ge said, "If I threaten you with suicide, how would you choose?"

"Don't make trouble." My heart was complicated. After growing up, Yi Ge said that one is one, and I was really afraid.

He was silent for a while, stretched out his hand to rub my head, and said, "Yang Muchi."

"Ah."

"I regret."

"……what?"

"I shouldn't fucking provoke you."

I was beaten by Yige, and it was the first time I was beaten by someone since I was a child. After the beating, I was stunned for a long time and didn't react, and I didn't feel the pain on my face. "It made it hard for me to breathe.

No matter how you say it, I was the one who was hurt the most, why did you hit me, and you were instantly filled with grievances.

23

On the day my mother was discharged from the hospital, Yige's mother came. It was a bit embarrassing to see each other when this happened. In the end, it was Yige's mother who asked about my mother's situation.

Finally, he said: "Ge Ge is going abroad, and he didn't say where he was going, he just said that staying at home is very annoying. I know there may be a big reason with me...and Xiao Qi, but I only have such a son, I feel distressed .”

"This is a matter of your family, and it is inconvenient for us outsiders to participate."

From childhood to adulthood, this is the first time I have seen my mother speak so indifferently to a person.

The end result is not happy.

After I got home, I kept thinking about Yige's going abroad, thinking about it, and all kinds of emotions came to my head.

I called him and the phone connected but I didn't know what to say?

In the end he said, "Is there something wrong? I'll hang up if nothing happens."

"Wait." I called him, "Are you really going?"

"Waiting for notification."

In fact, I always knew that his company wanted to send him back to overseas headquarters to study many times, but he always refused because of me.

Now it is also because of me that he is going again.

"Can you not go?"

"reason."

"I..." Before I finished speaking, my mother knocked on the door and asked me who I was calling. I was anxious and didn't know how to reply. Yige on the other side had already hung up the phone.

He heard it.

I replied casually, and buried my head in sleep.

I closed my eyes for a long time, I didn't feel sleepy at all, all I could think about was Yi Ge, the little things when we were together.

I don't want to leave him, not at all.

At this moment, I really understood that I was the one who couldn't do without the other party, and I was the one who got stuck the most.

24

Yi Ge left, and that night when I finished calling him, he was waiting for me to keep him on the phone, but I didn't.

During the time after he left, I missed someone crazily as if I was crazy, and I couldn't be interested in anything.He lost his job, and spent all day at home, facing loving parents and acting as a good child in their minds.

In fact, I know that I am also fighting silently, just like my mother did to me back then.

Say nothing, say nothing, in an extreme way that forced her to submit.

I lost a lot of weight, and my body, which used to eat well, gradually began to not like to eat. In my dreams, it was often the figure of Yige cooking for me.

I don't blame Yi Ge for leaving after saying a word of regret, because this is not a novel, and he is not omnipotent either.

We all have our own last resort, compared to me, he has given up more.

Yige didn't call me or send me a message, so he cut off all contact.

I tried to get some news about him through people I knew, but I was told nothing, he really seemed to disappear.

25

Day 127.

After Yi Ge left, I remember every day very clearly.

I met my elementary school classmate who went to school together when I was young, and I learned from his mouth that going abroad and regretting it are all fucking lies.

He actually committed suicide.

I dialed the number I knew by heart over and over again, but the phone kept ringing and no one answered.

It's ridiculous that I was stupid enough to think that he had gone abroad, so the number would definitely not be used anymore.

I found him at his house, he was thinner than me, with a bearded beard like a middle-aged uncle, lying on the rocking chair on the balcony, basking in the sun with his eyes closed, he was quieter than before.

"Why didn't you die?"

He opened his eyes, saw that I was a little surprised, and heard the sharp sound in my words, and said: "I wanted to die, but God said that my sins in this world are not over yet, so he brought me back to continue to suffer. "

"Do you still want to die?"

He shook his head, "I don't want to."

I didn't speak, I didn't know what to say, he pointed a stool for me to sit on, and then said: "It's not so lucky to die once, and it's not so lucky the second time... I said, death is for you, and life is for you." For my mother, I don’t owe you anything, that’s fine.”

Yige's mother stood behind her, her eyes were red from crying.

I opened my mouth, but couldn't say a word.

No wonder Yige's mother, who is so strong, would give in and take my mother out of the hospital to say that.

26

With such thoughts in mind, I went home and told my mother, "I want Yi Ge."

My mother was taken aback and asked my father what happened to me?

I stubbornly said one sentence after another that I want Yi Ge, I want Yi Ge.

Unlike when I was a child and played tricks, they can feel my persistence.They were silent with each other, relatively wordless.

My dad finally got angry and got up to hit me, but I didn't hide and said, "Then I'll die!"

"Jump off the stairs of our house. If you die, you will die. If you don't die, what do you say?" I looked up at them.

"Okay, you, you go to die, go to die now." The incident happened for so long, my dad was also very angry, and my mother had been persuading him to hold back, and finally broke out at this moment.

In an instant, my brain was hot, and I didn't have time to think about anything. I stood up and rushed to the window of the room. My parents realized that I was already floating in the air.

When I fell to the ground, I couldn't help calling myself an idiot. I even forgot that my house was on the second floor, and I couldn't fall to death. No wonder my dad let me jump so unscrupulously.

27

I was very happy when Yi Ge came to see me, but for a moment I didn't pay attention to why my parents would allow him to come.

He said: "Why, you want to learn from me? This is, you don't want to find a high point."

I blushed and retorted that he was being sentimental.

"Xiaoqi."

"What?" I was annoyed.

He suddenly came up to hold my head and gnawed on my mouth, using a lot of strength, I could only let him gnaw if I struggled or not.

When he let go of me, he cried, and I was startled, instantly at a loss and panicked.

I don't know how to comfort people, but I watched him silent for a long time, and finally he stopped crying, hugged me and said, "You are still mine for the rest of your life."

I realized it later, and asked him regardless of the pain in my leg, and it was really true.

28

I was very curious why my parents suddenly changed their attitude. Later, under my persecution, Yige told me: "I told your father that you like me very much, and you can't live without me. If you don't let us be together You're still going to die, and he agreed."

Yi Ge said it lightly, but I know it will never be so simple.

During the five hours I was lying on the operating table, there must be some reason I don't know, but no matter how much I begged, Yi Ge would not tell me.

Life has returned to normal again. The seemingly simple and ordinary life is what we pay for with our lives.

The author has something to say: PS: The short story is over!After reading the little cutie, remember to leave a message in the comment area and let me know what you think.