bad-hearted lover

Chen Xiang finally stopped pestering me, and we completely broke off contact. Although this is what I expected, it is not what I want.I want a stable relationship that won't break up, but he is the least likely to do it, so I can only feel sad.

I put all my energy into my work and didn’t let myself have time to think about him. After a period of time, I published a few core papers. The school intends to promote me from a lecturer to an associate professor. I participated in the qualification assessment as required.

Chen Xiang's movie was finally released as scheduled, there are movie advertisements everywhere, one can see the big investment, I heard that he fainted during the movie promotion, I lost my composure and lost my mind during class, and was laughed at by the students below for a long time.

Passing by the movie theater after get off work, I hesitated, and finally went inside.

My eyes started from the movie and never left him from the beginning to the end. He is not the only protagonist in the movie, but he is the only protagonist in my eyes.

My field of vision is the stage on which he performs.

I should still have fantasies about him, fantasies that he can prove the firmness of his feelings, and make me believe that he is really just obsessed with me, not because of anything else.

Until the end of the film, I was still sitting in my seat in a daze.

The image on the screen has disappeared, but he is still performing in my mind.

Chen Xiang seems to be seriously ill. The official website is full of worried messages from his fans. There are all kinds of blessings and prayers. There are also cute cartoon image blessing paintings. He is designed to look like a playful prince, with a watery blue color Eyes take up half of the face.

I logged on to my "If I'm Not Lonely" account again, and I also went to leave a message of congratulations, and deliberately imitated the tone of other people's speech, because I didn't want him to recognize me.

I never thought that Chen Xiang would reply me, my heart almost jumped out, after reading the content of his reply, I calmed down with a sigh of relief, it turned out that he just replied randomly by treating me as an ordinary admirer.

His writing is clean and warm, and he added a smiley face, which is quite similar to himself.

After all, I still feel uneasy, I don't know what he will do to me, and I really want to do something for him.After much deliberation, the only option is to send him flowers to encourage him.

I went to a flower shop to pick flowers, and the young store manager asked me who I was giving it to. I was a little dazed for a few seconds, and then said,

"Lover."

The shopkeeper smiled sweetly and recommended to me the cosmos placed in the sun.

"This season, this kind of flower blooms the best. It represents pure admiration, and it is full of love and admiration. It means youth, and it will not look tacky. I believe your lover will like it."

The flowers are very beautiful, blooming gorgeously towards the sunset, looking very warm, a little different from what I imagined, and I began to understand why the rooster would choose it before.

"Just take it and wrap it up for me."

I didn't go to give it to Chen Xiang in person, but entrusted a flower shop to send it over. My name was not written on the flower, there was only a simple word of encouragement - "I will always support you".

I miss him and imagine how surprised he was when he received the flowers, but that's all, I still don't want to have anything to do with him.

I went back and logged on to his official website. As soon as I opened the homepage, a bouquet of warm and beautiful flowers occupied the entire computer screen. These vibrant flowers have become the header picture of his official website.

I can only comfort myself by saying that this is a coincidence, and even though I have been in a state of rapid heartbeat, it seems that I have returned to more than ten years ago, when I met Qianhui for the first time, I was so restless with rapid heartbeat. Emotionally tormented, I barely slept through the night.

Knowing that Chen Xiang is recovering from illness, I no longer go to his official website, nor deliberately collect his news, I try to let myself go back to living without him.

I am actually willing to share the suffering with him, but I just can't share the joys and sorrows with him, because what is needed to share the suffering is only the impulsive love that burns the brain, but what is needed to share the joys is far more.

If there is one of us who can't do it, it's useless to say anything...

I officially passed the assessment and was promoted from a lecturer to an associate professor. In order to help me celebrate, several familiar teachers in the school took me to a dinner party.

We first went to a restaurant for dinner. At the end of the meal, a male teacher of about the same age suggested to sing, saying that he knew a good place.Before I could open my mouth, the rest of the people were already booing. They were not young, but after drinking, they all became like children.

When we met Chen Xiang at the singing place, we were all taken aback, staring at each other stiffly, only the pupils of our eyes trembled.

He reacted faster than I did, hastily explaining to me:

"I'm here to cheer on the assistant, her birthday is today..." He stared at me and murmured, "I didn't know you would come here, Sorry..."

I moved my lips, but couldn't make a sound.

A few colleagues behind me also came up at this time, and they were all shocked when they saw Chen Xiang.

"I just said that there are many celebrities here, so I just met them!" said the male colleague who recommended to come here before, excitedly.

These few colleagues of mine thought it was because they drank too much, they all became crazy about alcohol, they shouted for me to introduce Chen Xiang to them, they also said that it was rare for them to be friends, how could we not get together, then they would be at a loss Chen Xiang forced his way into our private room.

Their behavior was no different from kidnapping, I couldn't stop it, Chen Xiang was not angry, he just smiled at me awkwardly, and then really sat down in the private room.

I felt uncomfortable and deliberately sat far away from him. He looked at me in disappointment and lowered his head to fiddle with the decorative buttons on the front of his shirt.

"I want to sing with a big star!"

"Wait, I should be first according to my age, let me come first!"

"Ms. Li, you are a tyrant, and you are determined not to let you come first. If you come first, we will be out of the game!"

"I've never seen such an unassuming celebrity, wash your eyes now, don't argue, let me do it."

"Go--!"

There was chaos in the private room, only Chen Xiang and I were relatively quiet, he still had a modest smile on his face, and became a little reserved when he caught sight of me inadvertently.

I took a wine glass, poured myself some beer, and quickly stopped me with one hand.

"You should drink the juice." Before I could say anything, he quickly walked across the table and took the paper juice box. The beer in my hand was taken away and replaced with his freshly poured orange juice.

"Thank you." I said.

He froze slightly, pursed his lips,

"you are welcome."

With a forced smile, he sat back where he was before.

A few shouting people finally decided to order, clamoring to sing with Chen Xiang, Chen Xiang actually agreed.

Although the teachers were already drunk, their taste was still there, and they picked good foreign songs. Chen Xiang smiled and praised their "Tastefashion".

"Mr. Han, you come too. Why are you sitting in the corner? After all, it's a waste to share the stage with a big star!"

I glanced at Chen Xiang who was looking forward to it, and looked away at the juice glass in his hand:

"I won't, you guys go on, I'll just listen."

Teacher Li, who was drinking too much, sighed "it's a pity".

Because it's a duet, it's inevitable that they will choose love songs, and it's impossible for the two men to look at each other. Although one of them is a heartthrob idol who is enough to fascinate people, all the teachers are consciously staring at the LCD screen, fiercely sharp At the same time, they also played their high-pitched wolves howling that they have suppressed for a long time on weekdays.

Chen Xiang was different from them, he was looking at the place where I was sitting, he was singing, and he was also looking at me, staring at me with lowered eyelashes.I didn't even notice the lyrics were wrong.

Where he shouldn't have sung "ILOVEYOU", he sang "ILOVEYOU".

I poured myself a beer anyway, tossing his orange juice aside.

It's not that I don't like drinking it, I like its taste, and I'm afraid that if I take a few more sips of it, I will change my mind waveringly.

When I was sitting in a corner in a daze, someone sat next to me. He stepped forward to hug me and put his face on my chest. His body temperature was slightly cool, not as good as before.

No one noticed we hugged, so I put down my glass and hugged him too.

"I know I have to let go, but I can't let go. I always fantasize about impossible miracles, and then it will only make me feel more uncomfortable."

"..."

"I love you……"

I was startled, then lowered my head and sighed:

"But I don't believe you..."

When the love is so strong, I can't control myself. Even if I know that it can't develop into the bed, I still want to be more intimate with him.

Seeing no one around, I pushed him to the car door, covered his body and kissed him, I covered his soft lips, touched them lightly, separated, and kissed him again.He couldn't help it, held my face, opened his lips so that I could easily slip into his mouth.

"I'm not a bitch, I have to find someone to fuck me..." He hugged me tightly, breathing hard, "Because it's you...I'm willing to open my legs for you."

After speaking, he kissed me again, and our lips and tongues were entwined again, soft and moist, mixed with emotion.

"Go to the room..." He was already gasping for breath while speaking, his breathing was hot.

I was slightly awake, and looked behind me:

"But it looks like someone is following you, maybe a reporter."

"I can't control that much, I want you now..."

This is undoubtedly the greatest encouragement to a man, I almost want to have sex with him directly in the car.

We finally endured it and went to the nearest hotel to open a room. We almost couldn’t wait. We kissed passionately all the way from the door, quickly took off each other’s clothes, and our bodies were tightly stuck together. We caressed and devoured each other fiercely bite.

Pushing him into the soft white bed, I couldn't wait to press him down.

When he woke up, he was awakened by the commotion, the door was kicked open vigorously, and then a bunch of reporters came in randomly, Chen Xiang buried his head in the pillow, his bare/exposed shoulders were completely stiff, before the reporters had time to raise the camera, I quickly wrapped him in a sheet and stopped in front of him.

There was no doubt that there was a commotion in the room. Some people wanted to pull the sheets, but I kicked them away. I didn't take clothes to cover my naked self, but just protected the person next to me who was huddled under the sheets.

Like a farce, the hotel security finally caught up and forcibly pulled the group of reporters out.

The door was locked again, and the person under the sheet hugged me slowly through the white sheet, with a weak voice:

"Thank you……"