Chang'an ancient meaning

Xue Chongjian wanted to stand up in a daze, but found that his legs had long been numb, and a slight movement would cause a burst of pain like needle pricks.He slowly stretched out his hands to straighten his legs, waited for a while, and then stood up with difficulty, pushed open the door and walked out.The sky is as clear as blue glaze, and the morning glow as light as crimson crepe spreads in the east.

Although he had been here for a few days, he was not familiar with the roads of Pujiu Temple, so he could only walk on foot, walking out of the small courtyard along the road paved with gravel.Insomnia and lack of food for several days and nights made him feel as if he was walking in water when he raised his legs. He was top-heavy and seemed to fall down at any time.

He didn't know where he was going, this wasn't his home, neither was Puzhou Biejia Mansion at the foot of the mountain, Luoyang was no longer there, so Chang'an was?People who are related to him and people who can be missed are disappearing one by one, so can the places he walks be called home?He was a little restless in his chest, as if he was looking for something, the thick linden tree covered him with compassionate shade, he reached out and knocked on the trunk like a dragon tendon, the tree had grown for years and made a sound like jade.He was still at a loss. Didn't he say that the Bodhi tree is empty, and the mirror stand is also empty? This tree of enlightenment stands peacefully, without giving him the slightest hint.

He slowly entered the front yard again, he always wanted to find something that made him understand why he was alive.In the past, there was always a person from afar who wanted him to miss, and there was always a patient nearby who wanted him to take care of him. Now, Wu Linglan doesn't need him anymore, and after Wu Linglan gave her life for him, is he still thinking about Li Chengqi? Is it a blasphemy against the dead?But if he doesn't even have thoughts, how can he survive?Is it true that you live only because it is not worth dying?

He gradually heard people's voices and bells, and suddenly a loud and clear voice took the lead and recited: "Fuluna, if you want to unite with love, if you can't leave love, then the world, parents and children, will continue to live together." A group of monks followed. He chanted in unison, humming all over, like thunder rolling in the distant sky, both dull and vague.Xue Chongjian understood that this was the monks doing morning lessons.In the early years in the city of God, everyone from the empress's mother to the princess and the county lord believed in Buddhism. Although I felt that these words were a bit alarming, I couldn't remember which passage in which scripture it was.

The leading voice read again: "If it is true, it is based on desire and greed. Greed and love grow together, and if greed cannot be stopped, the world, eggs, transformation, wetness, and wombs will be swallowed one after the other according to the strength of the force. And so on, killing greed is the foundation. People eat sheep, sheep die for people, people die for sheep, and so on for ten lives, life and death, life and death, eating each other, evil karma all born, poor future, etc. It is based on stealing and greed." The voiceless voice pierced through the hall, shook the walls, and lingered in the air, which really had the meaning of a Buddhist lion's roar.

Xue Chongjian's heart trembled violently, as if a spiritual altar had been clogged with depression, pain, resentment, longing, fear, grievance, and despair for three years, and this string of Buddhist voices containing great wisdom loosened loosely.It's like being in a dark valley, the surrounding mountains are about to collapse, but there is a glimmer of mysterious light coming out from behind these mountain barriers.Greed, love, and evil karma are the words often mentioned by Buddhists who are used to and tired of listening to them. At this moment, I can finally chew and ponder every word carefully.

After all the monks finished chanting, the clear and vigorous voice said again: "You owe my life, and I will repay your debt. Because of this fate, after hundreds of thousands of kalpas, you will always live and die. You love my heart, and I pity your face." , because of the cause and condition, after hundreds of thousands of kalpas, it is always bound."

Before he finished speaking, Xue Chongjian only felt that a whistle had been with him for more than twenty years, mercilessly piercing through his heart, and the gurgling out was full of pus and blood.The pain made him tremble all over, but he couldn't help but want to call out freely.

He has the bodhi tree in his heart, as well as the euphyllum and the bright mirror stand. No matter how many kalpas he experiences, they will always be there, immortal.Wu Linglan and Li Chengqi, those who love him and those he loves are all bound by him, because of this bound, there will be the pain of life and death, parting and reunion, reluctance, longing, wishful thinking, regret, hope, if there is no pain, there will be nothing. Knowing that life is precious and love is deep, he has been contaminated with this love in this life, he loves them because of his heart, and loves them because of sex, this love cannot be released in this life, and if there is an afterlife, he will not seek release.This is his karma, his life and death, his bondage.

The warm morning light finally pierced through the darkness in front of his eyes, and the life he thought he had nowhere to linger or pursue finally revealed a long road.His mourning was summed up clearly by Foyin in twenty words, and his timidity was finally explained one by one.What he thinks and loves, he struggles out from the silent silt deposited in the past three years, and blooms into a pure white lotus.

He quickly turned around and rushed to the stables. Sure enough, Shi Chun bent over and was adding fodder to his sapphire horse. He tremblingly went to untie the reins. Shi Chun asked in surprise, "Your Majesty is going out?" Suppressing the agitation of his mood, he said in a trembling voice: "I'm going to Chang'an, where is the horsewhip?!" Shi Chun has never seen anger appear on this handsome face in the past three years. Handed him the riding whip with the handle of the rhinoceros horn, and hurriedly took out a sign and said: "This is what the lord asked the servant to ask for from Biejia Mansion. The lord holds it, and it will be useful all the way through the customs. Do you have any money on you?" Xue Chongjian suddenly smiled, and said: "No, my horse will be able to reach Chang'an in half a day, Ah Weng, thank you, I will send someone to take you home." He stepped on the pedal and turned on the horse, shook the reins, and Qingyu After walking out of the narrow stable door, I still walked when I heard the sound of hoofbeats, but gradually the sound of hoofbeats trampling on the stone road in the mountain became more rapid, and I think I started to kick and run.

Shi Chun knelt down slowly and bowed devoutly to the west, where there were the tombs of Princess Taiping and her son-in-law Xue Shao, the treasure tree whirling in the Paradise of Ultimate Bliss, and Avalokitesvara Tathagata to overcome all hardships.Turbid tears flowed into the damp and cool land in the mountains, mixed with the astringent fragrance of grass and the smell of livestock, he murmured: "Amitabha, Gods and Buddhas bless you, the princess son-in-law has a spirit in the sky, and I wish you a safe journey... "

Xue Chongjian didn't drink or eat all the way, except for checking his waist badge when passing the customs, he went west to Tongguan and went straight to Chang'an Jifu without stopping.His sapphire horse is a rare and good horse. It ran nearly [-] roads from Puzhou to Chang'an, and he ran it in one day. When he entered Chang'an City, it was not yet you. It was dark and late in summer, and the sunset in the west was like blood and fire. In the morning, the smoked willows in Chang'an City fluttered in the evening breeze.

He rushed into Xingqingfang, but was stopped by the guards, who told him that this place had been changed into the Emperor's Palace, and Li Chengqi was no longer here.He was thinking about the place where he was attached, and he thought that the place where Li Chengqi stood on a tall building every day and looked at him hundreds of miles away already belonged to others.This lotus is no longer their lotus, the bird's voice is no longer their bird's voice, and the willow is no longer their willow, just because the world is no longer their world.He stared blankly at the old Song Palace and today's Huaexianghui Building for a while, and finally turned around slowly with the horse. In, he will always find him.

It was evening when King Ning Li Chengqi returned from the court, he took off his heavy white court clothes and changed into a white shirt.Because of the edict of Emperor Rui, the day changed to the moon, and the funeral was done in three days. The descendants of the subjects refused to accept the sackcloth. Li Chengqi could not wear sackcloth to embarrass the emperor. It's barely a mourning for my father.

All the officials in the court and the central government have resumed their official duties. Li Chengqi and several princes have to go to the court with the class since they are in the middle of the capital.The emperor was building Xingqing Palace and Huae Xianghui Building. In order to show the brotherhood of the emperor, the couplets and murals in the building were handed over to several princes. The younger brothers were impatient with this matter, so Li Chengqi had to bear it all.He was already slow at painting, and the murals were more laborious. He only painted one horse after half a day. He didn't dislike it. He painted the mane of the horse monotonously and boringly[1], which made his Forgetting some things a little bit can be regarded as finding an outlet for his grief and self-blame.

I just stood and drew for a day, and when I came back, my legs felt sore, and my mind was slightly dizzy.Originally he had no appetite in summer, and Li Chengqi never had dinner, so he came to the garden alone, sat on a stone fence, and relaxed his legs a little in the cool evening breeze.

The concubine Yuanshi knew what was on Li Chengqi's mind. A few days ago, when Xue Chongjian's request to go to Beijing to bury his wife in Puzhou was rejected by the emperor, Li Chengqi's brow became more depressed.The princess didn't dare to point it out directly, and she was afraid that he would be bored. Seeing him sitting alone in the garden, she ordered the wet nurse to hug Li Jin to play. Li Jin is two years old this year and can talk. He is round and round like jade. On the face, there is a pair of black, round and bright eyes.When he saw Li Chengqi, he smiled, stretched his round, white and tender arms and said, "Daddy, Daddy hug!"

Li Chengqi sighed softly in his heart, so he had to stand up, took his son and said to the princess: "What are you bringing him for?" Gently took away Li Jing's hand that was holding Li Chengqi's head and soft wings, kissed his arm, and said, "Good boy, you can't play with this." The nurse was not happy to see Li Chengqi, and wanted to show off, and said to Li Jing: "Tell Daddy , what did you do just now?"

Li Jing stared at the round eyes and thought for a while, then said in a crisp child's voice: "Play the drum! I can play the Jiegu!" Li Chengqi's face darkened, and he said to the princess: "Who makes the musical instrument?" The princess's heart skipped a beat, knowing that the wet nurse was reckless , violated Li Chengqi's taboo of not having feasts in funerals, and hurriedly explained: "No one. Just now when Chunying packed the box, she dug out an old Jiegu from somewhere, and the drumsticks were not lost. He wanted to play, so he knocked on it." Put it away after two hits." Li Chengqi was about to speak, but for some reason, his heart moved, and he seemed to see a young man with red lips and white teeth, who was half-drunk, swaying the Qin King's Breaking Music, is it the drum he beat?Now the flower slave holding the drumstick is no longer that flower slave, he punched the door fiercely, not wanting the princess to find out, so he turned his face away in a concealed manner.

Xue Chongjian stood on the saddle and leaned against the wall to watch the family of three drawing pictures in harmony. He felt as if he was hanging in the air, unable to get up or down. There were cracks in his heart that were blocked by the dust of time. When he saw Li Chengqi They all swelled and burst.In the past, Li Chengqi was locked up in Luoyang Palace. He climbed over the wall every day, and as soon as he poked his head out, he saw Li Chengqi looking this way in surprise and worry.Would he still be looking at the wall so eagerly now?Xue Chongjian looked at it quietly for a while, and finally couldn't help it, and called out in a low voice: "Cousin."

Li Chengqi heard someone whispering, and smiled wryly in his heart. He really fell into a dream because of love, and became obsessed because of the dream, but the nurse had sharp eyes, and saw a person appearing on the wall at first glance, and exclaimed: "Who is it! Come... come here Hey, there are thieves!" Li Chengqi looked up, and his whole body trembled as if being rolled by lightning, Xue Chongjian climbed on the whitewashed wall of the garden, looking at this side with a smile that was not a smile.Li Chengqi's mind was buzzing. The smile on the wall was too similar to what he had seen in his dream. Instead, he was terrified, thinking he had fallen into a dream again.how come?After such a long time, there are conspiracy, life and death, estrangement, every flesh and blood turned against each other, every relative turned to dust, every old friend went away to the end of the world, Hua Nu came to climb his wall again?

Seeing the nurse yelling, he hurriedly shouted: "Shut up!" He hurriedly put his son into his wife's hands, took a step, and said in a hoarse voice: "Huanu, Hua Nu, is that you?" The princess turned pale. He covered his mouth, isn't this person in Puzhou, how could he appear on the wall of his house?

Xue Chongjian climbed on the top of the wall and smiled, took a deep breath, exerted force with his hands, and jumped up. When he turned into the wall, his arms suddenly failed to hold on to the wall, and he fell onto the grass with a plop.He smiled wryly in the severe pain all over his body, he had done this movement no less than a thousand times, and sometimes he missed it.

Li Chengqi was stunned for a moment, then rushed forward with big strides, knelt beside Xue Chongjian and helped him up. Xue Chongjian looked sad and happy, rubbed his buttocks with a grin, and said with a smile, "It hurts." Li Chengqi couldn't bear it anymore With tears in his eyes, he hugged the person in front of him with all his strength, his wife and children were beside him, his house was surrounded by eyeliners, Xue Chongjian went to Beijing against the decree, and all obstacles in reality disappeared like smoke.The appearance of Xue Chongjian restored the cruelty and beauty of the whole world. There were more than 1000 days and nights in three years. He was tortured every day and night, and God treated him kindly. Today, I was finally able to hold Hua Nu in my arms again.

Li Chengqi dragged Xue Chongjian to the inner hall with half support and half hug. When Xue Chongjian passed by the princess, he glanced at the boy in her arms and said with a smile, "I haven't congratulated my sister-in-law yet." Li Chengqi blushed, Guilt and pity made his heart and lungs hurt, and he said in a low voice: "I'm sorry for you." He nodded to the princess: "Don't disturb anyone, pass some wine and food." The princess gave Xue Chongjian a deep look, and stepped like Walking like a sleepwalker.

Xue Chongjian said: "My whole body is so dirty that I can't eat without washing." Li Chengqi said: "Change my clothes first, wipe your face, and then I will prepare fragrant soup for you, and then wash after eating." Xue Chongjian said Leaning close to his ear, he said in a low voice, "Huanu wants my cousin to wipe the bath beans." Li Chengqi couldn't help smiling, but two lines of tears slowly slid down his cheeks.

After entering the door, Li Chengqi asked his maid to bring hot water, first took off Xue Chongjian's dusty shirt, and then took off his white shirt to cover him.He helped him to lie on the couch, pillowed his legs, and laid out a towel to wipe his face and hands clean.Come to comb again, open Xue Chongjian's bun, comb to remove dust and weeds, smooth out the messy hair, and tie it into a bun.He pulled out a wooden hairpin from his own head and held it, not knowing whether he was sad or happy, it turned out that he still had a chance in this life to tie a hairpin for Hua Nu with his own hands.

With Xue Chongjian's eyes closed, he felt his scalp tightening up and down, bringing a mild and comfortable numbness. His body seemed to be lying in the clouds, gradually sinking into a gentleness, sinking, sinking, but he would never touch the ground. Pain.He wants to see this side, this moment, no matter the next moment, whether there will be bull-headed horses leading him three ways, suffering from the mud plow of ice and fire.This body of broken skin and broken bones has gone through hundreds of thousands of calamities, but it is still difficult for him to return to this person. This is his bondage, and he is willing to fall into it.

Xue Chongjian said in a low voice: "I sneaked back, will he cause trouble for you?" Li Chengqi said: "You eat and rest later, I will go to the palace to see him, don't worry, I will deal with it properly." Xue Chongjian opened his eyes and smiled: "Li Yanu still regards you as an elder brother?" Li Chengqi gently stroked Hua Nu's hair bun, was silent for a moment, and finally smiled and said: "I respect him as the supreme before the world, so he naturally respects me too. It's brother."

Just as he was talking, the official of the Wangfu hurried in to report: "Your Highness, General Gao from the Ministry of Internal Affairs has come to deliver an edict."

Li Chengqi frowned slightly, looked at the white silk jacket on his body, and ordered to the secretary: "Bring me the court clothes." The secretary hurriedly agreed, and then there was a sound of boots in the courtyard, and a shrill and loud voice He said with a smile: "Your Highness Shengchang, I heard that there are distinguished guests from the palace, and Gao is here to congratulate you!" A burly young man led eight Habayashi soldiers and eight young eunuchs straight into the inner hall. Gao Lishi, the general of the prison gate guard and the governor of the Ministry of Internal Affairs.

The author has something to say: [1] Liu Zongyuan: "Dragon City Records - Ning Wang's Painting of Horses": "Ning Wang is good at painting horses. The emperor loves the jade-faced flower ponytail the most, and it is said that there is no fiber and no equipment, the wind mane and the fog mane, and the letter is as great as it is."