I have a deep love for Zhenjun

139.

don't say goodbye?

I was stunned, looked over the Linggui, and looked back. Zhu Niao had jumped into the sea of ​​clouds at some point and moved away. The man got off the chariot at some point and was walking in the opposite direction drifting away.

I know he won't look back.

On the moon chariot, he actually woke up a long time ago, or he never fell asleep.Keeping your eyes closed is probably because you feel that you have nothing to say to me.

I was not on the same path as him.

Even if they were together because of certain opportunities, it will not last long after all.There is always a banquet in the world, and now it is finally time to separate.

Looking back, I nodded: "If that's what he wants, then he should follow his orders."

"...the promise was so straightforward." Linggui suddenly frowned into a small hill, and after a while, snorted again, "Bad man, you really are not good to the master at all."

After finishing speaking, I turned around and chased after the figure who had gone far away, while I stood silently at the same place, watching the two of them disappear at the end of the sky.

140.

Langfeng Palace was always cold and quiet. The guards on duty looked tired, holding long halberds, and their eyes were still closed.

I walked in front of him and said in a deep voice: "Please inform Master Xi, I have something urgent to find her."

The guard shuddered and looked me up and down a few times. His drowsy eyelids lifted suddenly, and his face showed joy: "It's Immortal Qi Guang? You're back!"

I never expected his attitude to be so enthusiastic, and I was flattered for a moment. Before I could react, I was dragged forward by him: "Please follow me to see the Lord Luo quickly."

The man led me to the front of Yuxin's gate, and after whispering to the inside of the gate, he gestured to me to open the door and go in, and left quietly.

I pushed open the door, the room was a little dark, only an oil lamp was lit.

Luo Xin was sitting by the table, holding a hand stove, wrapped in a layer of silver-white fluffy coat, with long eyelashes drooping slightly, casting a dancing shadow under his eyes.

I thought that she would no longer be tortured by the poisonous fire, and her complexion should have improved a lot.

Now it seems that he is even paler and haggard.

I stood in front of her for a long time, but she didn't move, and she didn't know where to go.In the end, I couldn't bear it anymore and called her, and then she seemed to recover and raised her eyes to look at me.

"In the past two days, I have sent many people to look for you nearby, but they have been fruitless. I thought you would not come back." Luo Xin was expressionless, and his eyes were even more expressionless, "Since you chose Abandoning him, why is it suddenly appearing now?"

I tore off the token on my waist and handed it to her.

Yu Xin didn't take it, but pursed his lips tightly.After a while, he said calmly, "Other than that?"

——I still want to sneak a last look at Fu Qing.

Although I thought so, I didn't dare to tell the truth, I just said indifferently: "Besides this, there is nothing else."

She kept looking at me: "It seems that you don't care about how my cousin is doing now, do you?"

It's not that I don't care about him, it's just that now... I don't have the position to care about him.

Seeing that I was silent, Yu Xin's face finally revealed a bit of anger.

But she has always been gentle, even when she was angry, her voice was still soft and slow: "Is this what you call 'like' when you treat him like this?"

I knew what she was referring to, but everything was irreversible, and now, I can only say in a low voice, "I'm sorry."

"Excuse me?" She laughed out loud.

"During the time you were unconscious, my cousin didn't close his eyes overnight, and even tried his best to save your life. I asked him what to do if you couldn't wake up, and he told me... he and I said……"

I didn't know why I panicked, and my fingers unconsciously clenched.

She paused, and her eyes gradually turned red.

"Cousin said that the poisonous fire is gone, and his wish has been fulfilled. Among the nine borders and six realms, there is no more worries. If you really die, he will accompany you. Immortals commit suicide, and they can't escape the 'purgatory' Sea of ​​fire, mountain of swords and punishment' these eight characters."

"But he said, he will accompany you."

He... stays with me?

Luo Xin's eyes were condensed, and he rarely showed a bit of aggressiveness: "Now that he has collapsed for you, you actually just walked away. Shaohe, how could you just walk away like this?"

My heart suddenly turned cold, and I hurriedly asked: "What did you say? He collapsed? Then—" At this point, my voice was a little more cautious, "Then... is he okay now?"

"Since you still care about it, why don't you take a look for yourself?"

"...Forget it." I lowered my head and said softly, "He probably doesn't want to see me again."

"How do you know he doesn't want to? Shaoshe, do you really understand him? Do you really understand him?"

I was at a loss for words.

I really don't know anything about many things about Fuqing, but it's not that I don't want to know...

"He doesn't want to tell me many things. It's like that day in Lihuo, when I asked about your past with him, he just said that he was young and ignorant, so that he made you suffer."

"So that's what he told you." Yu Xin murmured with a bewildered expression, "Actually, it's not his fault."

"Back then, my cousin had no intention of bringing me along. I was the one who secretly followed him into Lihuo Realm because I was concerned about his safety when I learned about it."

"That day, he watched Fu Huai die. His ashes were wiped out, his bones were gone, and he was completely burned by a fire. There will be no talk of reincarnation."

Mentioning this matter, she looked pained: "And Cang Tian—he, he is a devil who plays with people's hearts! What kind of torture? To put it nicely, it is a life for another life. To put it bluntly, this What is the difference between living and suffering?"

"People who are tortured have to endure thousands of years of suffering, and the days pass by, and they are one day less. Those who are not punished have to endure the inner torment all year round. Even if we finally leave the fire environment and we die, we will die." Is there not much difference?"

I was slightly moved.

"However, between the two, if you have to choose one... I feel that suffering in the heart is better than suffering in both body and mind. So, taking advantage of my cousin's unconsciousness, I told Cang Tian that if you want to Suffer, come to me."

I was stunned and said, "You let Cang Tian plant the poisonous fire on you?"

"That's right. When the poisonous fire broke out, it was really painful. I couldn't make a sound from the pain, but I looked at my cousin and felt very happy..."

She smiled: "I used to always worry that he is unrestrained and disobedient by nature. Sooner or later, he will fly to a place where I can no longer see him. He doesn't know, but I am really grateful to Cang Tian, ​​and I am very grateful to him. The punishment of poisonous fire can keep him by my side for thousands of years."

After finishing speaking, he sighed again.

"Is it because I'm too selfish? Knowing that he doesn't want to be trapped in Dongji, let alone Langfeng, he still insists on doing this. For thousands of years, how did he survive the countless times in Langfeng Palace? Day and night? Do you feel a little bit of resentment against me?"

I shook my head: "Fu Qing never hated you."

"I know." She was silent for a moment, and said softly, "But as long as I have this thought, I will be extremely anxious, tossing and turning, unable to sleep, and often sitting until dawn. Especially in the days when you are sleepy. .”

"So I finally couldn't help it. In a sleepless night, I ran to ask him if he hated me or not?"

"I...actually hope that he can scold me or scold me like he did many years ago, at least I will feel better. But you know what? He smiled at me and said something... Xin'er, it's not your fault, it's my cousin who is sorry for you."

When she said the last sentence, she deliberately manipulated Fu Qing's tone of voice, and then seemed to think that this move was really funny, and then laughed out loud, but the tears poured down and couldn't stop.

"That's when I understood."

"The cousin I like died a long time ago with Fu Huai in the Lihuo environment that year. What I tried my best to leave behind was just a lifeless shell.

"He didn't want to live for a long time. It's just because I'm still alive that he can't die."

He no longer wants to live.

He no longer wants to live...

I suddenly remembered that when I woke up that day, he was sitting on the side of my bed, and the night covered him in it, showing a bit of loneliness.

Maybe that's not my illusion.

"Cousin is so smart, so there are things he can't see through." Yu Xin wiped away tears, his voice choked up, "I voluntarily took on the burden of poison for him, but he really doesn't owe me anything. If you really want to talk about it The word owed, but I owe him."

I looked at her silently and sighed in my heart, how could it be as easy as she said?Received kindness from others for no reason, but had no way to repay it.

If things go on like this, those sufferings and anguish that have nowhere to relieve are enough to overwhelm a person.

"After that, I thought about it for a long time, and I decided to give in and let him go. But Shaoshe...how did you treat him?" She suddenly raised her eyes, "Tell me, have you been lying to him all this time? ?”

"I didn't... lie to him." I said shyly, "It's just that I'm really confused, and I don't know how to face him."

"Why?" she asked.

Why?

Why don't I want to ask myself why?Since I woke up that day, there have been one after another of bad news coming towards me, but I am in the center of the whirlpool, and it is unavoidable.

The grief and grievance in it...

Who can I talk to?

Who else would want to hear it?

"You only know that I abandoned Fuqing and ignored it. But you don't know that I can stand here now because I took away other people's opportunities. I can learn to love because..." I stretched out my hand to my chest, "There are other people's hearts here .”

Her expression changed suddenly, as if she couldn't believe it.

Seeing her like this gave me a moment of joy in my heart.After the pleasure, there are countless helpless emptiness.

"That person is very good to me, but in detail, in the years of being in the Crown God Clan, I have never made him happy. Even at the last moment, what I said to him was—"

"After you die, I will forget about you."

At that time Yun Man covered my eyes, I don't know what his expression was after hearing these words.If I were him, I would be heartbroken.

"As I promised, I completely forgot about him, and even fell in love with Fu Qing in the blink of an eye. Lord, may I ask, is there anyone more despicable than me in this world?"

She hesitated and said, "Then you..."

"It's true." Thinking of this, my expression became even more terrified, "But tell me, why am I moved? There are thousands of immortals in Linlang Tianque, why is it not any one of them, but Fu Qing?"

Could it be because he and Yun Zhi had similar eyes...?

Luo Xin bowed his head, fiddled with the stove, and said: "I think...if you like someone, sometimes you don't have to give yourself a reason."

If it were the past, I could use this sentence to convince myself.But today, I don't dare to agree easily: "This passionate love that arises out of nowhere is too strange."

Isn't it weird?

After facing Fu Qing, I broke too many exceptions.

Not only was I not willing to say a serious word to him, but even in order not to make him sad, I even gave up my own life.

Knowing that bloodletting will damage one's cultivation, knowing that exchanging blood will undoubtedly lead to death.But thinking it was for him, I didn't hesitate at all.

This is really, really weird.

"When the love is deep, many actions should follow the heart." Yu Xin asked, "Is there any reason to follow?"

Is there no reason to follow?

I read this sentence silently, feeling exhausted physically and mentally.

"You say follow your heart, but...my heart is not my heart, and my person...may not belong to me. Thinking about it this way, I feel very guilty, very disturbed, and feel that I owe a lot to the previous person , I should have stayed by his side and slowly repaid this kindness."

"But that person has a better destination now, and I definitely shouldn't bother him anymore. However, even if we are destined to be separated from him in the future and never see each other again, I can't let go of it easily, after all—"

After all, I have a life on my back.

Thinking of this, I raised my eyes slightly, but my eyes were scattered and I didn't know where to fall.

"At this point, I can't and shouldn't like Fu Qing anymore. It was a mistake between me and him. Now that I've realized it was a mistake, should I keep making mistakes again and again? What's more, all these years , how he treats me, how he sees me... I also know it well."

"In the past, I was the one who stalked him. In the future, without those entanglements, he will live in peace, and he will live a better life."

Will live...better than me.

Xi Xin was silent for a long time: "Shao He, everyone says that the authorities are delusional. I just think this is very good. People always worry too much in the game and make many wrong moves."

"You know, I took the poisonous fire for my cousin. I did it voluntarily. It has nothing to do with him. He doesn't owe me anything. The story just now, the person who cut out his heart was also voluntary. It has nothing to do with you, and you don't owe him anything. .Why do you have to paint the ground as a prison?"

I want to interrupt her, I want to contradict her, I want to tell her that these things are not as simple as she said.

But she didn't give me the slightest chance to speak: "Of course, it's normal to feel guilty and uneasy, and I can understand it. However, among all sentient beings, how many people can be indebted and let down by no one? Wanting to share the rain and dew evenly, but hurting those who are cherished in your heart, this is not kindness, but stupidity."

"You may wish to ask yourself, who is the person you like the most... the person who wants to be with him the most? Since there is nothing wrong with it, it is wrong if you don't. Grasp what you can grasp at the moment, and don't let it go again. Have regrets for yourself."

I paused, feeling extremely disturbed.

I listened clearly and carefully to every word she said and every question she asked, and I tried to ask myself for an answer, but to no avail.

At this time, there were several knocks on the door, and Yu Xin responded, "Come in."

The door was pushed open, and a fairy came in carrying a medicinal soup.She didn't say anything, just shook her head with a serious expression.

Xi Xin is silent.

She put down the hand stove, got up to take the medicinal soup, and turned to look at me: "I have already talked to this point, are you willing to go with me to see my cousin now?"

I frowned, knowing that at this point I should flatly refuse.The word love should be broken as often as possible, otherwise it will leave troubles in vain.

Pain is but a moment, and time will dilute everything.

Think clearly and thoroughly.But these thoughts fell apart very easily when they met the word Fu Qing.

I thought that his situation was not optimistic at this time, and I was in a mess, and I couldn't leave decisively no matter what.

After struggling for a long time, I was defeated, succumbed to instinct again, and nodded slowly.

What the reason is for, I don't quite know.Maybe it's just because I really want an answer.

——An answer that won't make you regret.