I have a deep love for Zhenjun

186.

On this day, Yu Xin suddenly came to the door.

She was holding a small and exquisite hand stove, and she was wearing a red dress, showing a bit of complexion, no longer as sick as before, but her brows were tightly frowned, as if her heart was deeply depressed.

"Cousin, did I tell you? In a few days, he will go back to Fuyu Mountain to retreat and meditate." Talking about this matter, Yu Xin looked extremely worried, his eyes were covered with fog, and the ground was gray, unable to shine the slightest light.

"What?" My heart was originally concerned with the matter of leaving the fire, and I was a little careless when I greeted her, until I heard this sentence, the hand watering the flowers unconsciously trembled, lost my focus, and a few drops of water hit the flowers and leaves .

The last time Qiansang came back, I was worried that Fu Qing's indiscriminate use of spiritual power would cause hidden dangers to his body, so I used the excuse to probe his heart veins, but I didn't feel anything unusual, and I saw that his complexion was very good, so I didn't think about it any more.

Isn't that so?

Luo Xin clenched the hand stove tightly, his knuckles turning white.She lowered her eyes and said in a low voice: "Could it be... that the medicine I asked for earlier was not beneficial to my cousin? Otherwise, why would he go to Fuyu Mountain to meditate at this juncture?"

I suddenly remembered the joke of "I have been wounded in my soul, I am already a doctor, I can only wait for death", my heart suddenly became cold, but Xin Xin is so out of his mind, I must not mess up again .

"How can it be useless? Compared with before, Zhenjun's complexion is much better, and he no longer coughs for a long time, and went to meditate... Maybe it is to improve his cultivation. Lord, please don't think too much." I forced myself to put down the blue-glazed flower pot calmly, and after a few words of comfort, I dragged Xin Xin's heart back to its original position.

After Xi Xin left, I stood silently for a long time, looking at the blooming orchids.

At night, I took a glazed sky lantern and went to look for Fu Qing.When I was about to walk to the door, I deliberately stepped lightly, collected my breath, and listened to the sound inside the door.

It was very quiet at first, but after a while, there were several suppressed coughs, the more suppressed it became, the more unbearable it became, and in the end, it was almost heart-piercing.

When I heard this, my breath suddenly sank, and I couldn't contain the anger in my heart. I wished I could rush in, grab his collar, and ask him how it feels to lie?Since I am already a doctor without medicine and stone, and have no way to return to heaven, why give me unnecessary hope?

However, from the moment I exposed my traces, the dead silence returned to the house, like rain hitting plantains, and there was a pool of shock at first, and then in a blink of an eye, it was spring and scenery, and the ripples disappeared and returned to nothingness.

Suddenly, I seemed to understand many things.

From the beginning to the end, he didn't make any promises to me, so why lie?He has always been sober, sober to see me fall in love|desire, sober to go through the clouds and rain with me.

And the so-called release is not really release.

But because time is running out, he is no longer attached.

Those love-hate entanglements, seven poisons and eight bitternesses, finally came to his lips and turned into a sentence of "forget it".

——It’s helpless, it’s no choice.It must be so.

I stood dumbfounded, and after a long while, I smiled, not for laughing, but just for sighing.All the anger and resentment fell on this person, and they would slip away unconsciously, even if a tooth was broken, he could only swallow the blood silently, mouthful by mouthful.

What else could it be?

He is my helplessness, my no choice.

I ask for trouble, and I can't blame others.

187.

"What are you doing?" I collected my emotions, opened the door as if nothing had happened, put the sky lantern aside, walked to Fu Qing's side, and lowered my eyes to look at the paintings on the table.

The ink line is meandering, either light or deep, showing a sleeping face with closed eyes. Because the forehead and sideburns are covered, the facial features are not well depicted, but there is only one spot, condensed with cinnabar, which is as red as blood, which is taken away by the dead things in this painting. A little bit of vitality.

"This is me?" I stretched out my fingertips, landed on the spot of cinnabar in the corner of my right eye, and stroked it lightly.

There is a mole here from birth, it is too conspicuous, I don't like it, but placed in the painting, it is a little more charming.

"very nice."

"Then I will give it to you." Fu Qing did not raise his head, and added the last touch without haste, and put the pen into the inkstone.

I listened to his voice carefully, the clearness was like a stone hitting each other, and I couldn't tell the slightest difference. Then, with the gaze of the painting, I slowly traced his lowered eyebrows and eyes, reflecting the warm candlelight, appearing from the cold winter. Show a bit of freshness.

I don't know how many more times I can see this gesture.

After all, if you take a look at it... you will lose one look.

I pretended to be happy and wanted to put the painting on the case into my arms, but he pressed his hand and warned in a deep voice: "The ink is not dry yet, don't be impatient."

"So that's how it is." I stopped my movements, stroked his temples lightly with my backhand, "I didn't see Zhenjun painting in the past, how can I have such a good mood today?"

What Fu Qing thinks in his heart, he never tells others.Although I know it, I still don't have a long memory, and I intend to pry a few truths out of his mouth.

After waiting for a while, I saw that he didn't speak, and didn't want to force it. He pretended to laugh, and was about to turn the topic away, but Fu Qing stopped my voice, and said lightly: "The brush is for thinking, and the painting is for thinking. I burn it." The last stroke is to let go of thinking about a person."

"Have you let go?"

"Life is broken, life is broken and life is broken."

"It goes back and forth like this, it's better not to let go." I bent down and gently put my arms around him, "Zhenjun, let's get married some day, and it should be more grand, preferably the kind that is known to the world. After getting married, you don't have to Let's deal with those trivial matters in the East Pole again. We will leave Linlang Tianque and move to live in the mountains. At that time, we will build a wooden house, raise a flock of chickens and ducks, and take a adopted daughter... a adopted son is also fine. You teach swordsmanship, and I teach carving Mu, when he grows up and goes down the mountain, he will meet his ideal match. The two will become husband and wife, and their children will form a pair, and they will come to support their old age. Zhenjun, look, it’s another reincarnation.”

"Accompany mortals through their lives. After a hundred years, ashes return to ashes and dust returns to ashes. For them, it is a vicissitudes of life, but for us, it is just a blink of an eye. Isn't this feeling amazing?"

"Shao She." Fu Qingjing listened to me quietly, her tone was stagnant, without any fluctuation, "I will marry you, but not now."

My attitude is rare and tough: "I want to do it now, how are you doing?"

He was not good at refuting, so he fell silent.In the past, I would not be willing to say serious things to him. Every time I saw him in a difficult situation, I would just let it go, but today is different.

If he doesn't respond definitively, I won't make further concessions.

"Zhenjun, how are you doing?" I gritted my teeth, and repeated in a deep voice.

Fu Qing held my hand around his waist. I was keenly aware of his next intention, so I couldn't help exerting a little more force, but I was still no match for him, and my fingers were torn apart.

He didn't speak, and seemed to refuse silently.

"You said you wouldn't make me sad again." I was exhausted physically and mentally, and finally couldn't even maintain a perfunctory expression. I just stared at his back expressionlessly, and the sockets of my eyes were almost sour.

"Why..." He turned around, seeing me like this, his eyes darkened, "You want to marry me so much?"

"What does Zhenjun think?" I have said it so clearly, does he really not understand, or is he pretending not to understand?

He was dumb, and stretched out his hand to touch my face. I was angry at this moment, and I turned my head to avoid him without thinking. He was avoided by me, but he didn't give up. He insisted on touching my face.

"I have decided not to go to Fuyu Mountain for retreat in the future. When I will leave the customs is unknown, and I am not completely sure. Getting married at this time will only add to the bondage. If you are not married, you will be free. Can't wait, or don't want to Wait..." He closed his eyes slightly, and continued, "You still have room for repentance."

"Is Zhenjun afraid that I will become a little widow?" After the words came out, I immediately slapped myself, poohed three times, and changed my words, "Widower, a widower."

The corners of his lips moved slightly, and he looked at me with a half-smile, but didn't speak.

I really couldn't see his indifferent appearance, so I became more angry, and deliberately provoked him: "What is Zhenjun worried about? After you leave, I will not only marry another regular wife, but also take in two more concubines. Let's relax , I will never guard the empty boudoir for you at that time."

Hearing this, his smile faded away, his complexion turned cold, his phoenix eyes seemed to be condensed with a layer of frost, as if they were about to turn into a life-threatening blade in the next moment, and he would be happy only if he cut me into pieces.

To be angry is to care.If he is willing to tell the truth, that he actually wants me to wait for him, and that he does not want to see me marry again, I can swear to God now.

As long as he says, I can give it.

"...That's fine." He stared at me, and finally spoke, his voice seemed to be squeezed out between his teeth, and he paused every word, "But it's up to you."

What but according to my mind, it sounds really nice.Looking at his posture, if I dare to marry again, he will definitely hold a sword and wash my new house with blood.

"Are you serious?" I hated his incompetence so much, I walked towards the door and waved my hand without looking back, "Anyway, I'm going to marry again, it's better to marry sooner than later merry, I'm leaving."

I was so angry that I really wanted to just leave, but just as my feet crossed the threshold, my heart suddenly started to hurt for no reason.Suddenly, I turned my head and took a look at Fu Qing.

His face was stern, his lips were tightly pursed, he looked straight at me, his back was extremely straight, and he didn't say anything to stop me, or to save the last bit of dignity.

I looked back in a daze, with myriad thoughts, and at the end, only the eight characters "too rigid and easy to break, but tight to break" remained.

Forget it, why bother to get angry with him.There is not much time between me and him, and every glance may be the last, so we should cherish it and don't leave any regrets.

"...I lied to you just now." I sighed, closed the door behind my back, walked over to hold his hand, and said softly, "I will only marry you."

He let me lead him, and said in a very serious tone: "I lied to you too. If I go out and find out that you have married someone else, I will kill you with my own hands, and then I will kill myself with a sword."

"It's very good to rest until death." I smiled slightly, "It's just that we haven't married yet, so why talk about marrying another word?"

He was silent, his eyes were burning, it seemed to be affectionate, but also seemed to be evil.I secretly sighed, a beauty is a beauty, just a turn of the eyes is enough to teach the beauty and soul.

Well, let's just say I asked for it.

I waved my sleeves and waved my hands, and phosphorescence flashed occasionally in my palm. Wherever I went, whether it was a red sandalwood stand or a precious mirror on the table, they were all hung with red ribbons symbolizing festiveness.

That's all, I pondered for a while, and then turned into a red hijab and put it on Fu Qing's head.

It happened suddenly, and there was no time to prepare for the wedding dress. This bright red hijab, contrasted with his solemn and solemn black cloak, looked abrupt and funny. People who didn't know saw it, and maybe they wanted to ask a question, what is it? Where did Shura bring evil spirits, but Liang was forced to obey?

Following the rules of the world, I worshiped the heavens and the earth with him, and then worshiped the empty high hall. Finally, when the husband and wife worshiped each other, I bent down deeply, but did not get up in a hurry. I glanced at his figure from the corner of my eye. Unexpectedly, he changed his mind and said the joke he had just thought.

"Is Zhenjun forced to obey?"

His tone was a little annoyed: "Why do you always ask questions knowingly?"

I rolled my eyes with a smile, and stopped asking any more questions. I pulled him to sit on the edge of the bed, pinched the corners of the red hijab, raised half of it, looked at his jaw that was as bright as white jade, and said softly: "Then I'll be more straightforward. Really." Jun, I care about you."

It was lifted up a little more, revealing the thin lips that were just right in shape, the lips were light in color, a little less bloody than ordinary people.In this position, I kissed and murmured: "I love you."

He moved his hand again, and with this movement, he could see his eyes, with slender eyelashes and distinct roots, flapping one by one, like butterfly wings opening and closing.

He waited patiently for ten years for the nymph and I for the web-spinning spider, and finally coaxed him to fall into my trap willingly.

Whether it is life or death, I will go and return with him.

Throwing the hijab aside casually, I cupped his face and kissed his eyes lightly. This time I said, "I'll wait for you."

I don't know which words moved me, Fu Qing turned over and pressed me under him, lowered my head slightly, and the black hair fell down like a waterfall, intertwined with my hair, no longer distinguishing between you and me.

He stretched out his hand to hold the strands of hair in his hand, and looked at it silently for a long time, with a slightly gentle expression: "Sounds good, let's live for you."