Critically ill 'love' letter

Lu Chen went from the living room to the kitchen, and then back to the living room. In a short period of time, Lu Chen came to the conclusion that Cheng Ming was too obedient and sensible before, but now he acts arrogantly from time to time. The contrast is too great. He is just not used to it.

And even if Cheng Ming can play petty temper now, the situation is countless times better than his female classmates in college, so Cheng Ming is still far from the princess disease.

Not long after Lu Chen sat back on the sofa, Li Shichang came over.

In the past, when Cheng Ming and Lu Chen were together, Li Shichang usually would not disturb them.

Lu Chen glanced around. Didn't Li Shichang pretend to monitor him somewhere? He didn't know?

Cheng Ming looked at Li Shichang with hatred.

Li Shichang: "?"

Lu Chen: "..."

Li Shichang coughed uncomfortably, and said: "It's eleven o'clock, go to bed early."

Li Shichang didn't mention that Lu Chen really didn't remember it. He glanced at his watch, and it was a few minutes before 11:30, and said, "Well, Ming, eat less when you're hungry."

Cheng Ming replied: "I have eaten."

It must have been eaten before he came back. Lu Chen turned off the TV, got up and said, "I'll go wash up first." After he was about to leave, he suddenly remembered something, and said, "By the way, Brother Yuqing told me He'll come tomorrow morning, call me if I don't get up."

Li Shichang nodded in agreement.

After Lu Chen left, Cheng Ming also stood up, arranged the pillows, and turned off the lights.

"Is Cheng Cheng hungry?" Li Shichang asked.

In a daze, Cheng Ming realized that he couldn't remember when Li Shichang first called him Cheng Cheng.

Inexplicable and unstoppable loss.

His chest felt uncomfortable, Cheng Ming looked at Li Shichang, then immediately lowered his eyes to hide the emotion in his eyes, and shook his head without saying a word.

Li Shichang thought that he was tired, walked to Cheng Ming's side, supported Cheng Ming's shoulders, and led him back to the bedroom.

Cheng Ming sat on the edge of the bed with his knees bent, his chin resting on his knees, his hands hugged his legs and curled up into a ball, and his flat voice was very gentle, "Hey, Chief Poetry, I think I need to tell you something."

Li Shichang was changing his clothes, when he heard what Cheng Ming said, he slowed down his hands and said, "What?"

"I feel that something is wrong with me recently... I'm not in a good state." Cheng Ming thought for a while, and then said, "Maybe you have noticed it too?"

Li Shichang didn't answer immediately, changed his clothes neatly, sat back beside Cheng Ming, let Cheng Ming lean against him, and said, "Well, can you feel it yourself?"

Cheng Ming relaxed, almost lying on Li Shichang's body, and sighed, "Probably, maybe every patient is different...at least I seem to be different from them."

"How to say?"

"Well... there is a detour I didn't get around. I met patients on the street who may be like me, talking to themselves on the road, and read some lost news. I was very sad to see them, I think they should be very tired, they probably don't want to do it themselves, but they can't control themselves. I know the body is controlled by the human brain, uh...but their mind can't control the human brain, do you understand me ?”

"Go ahead." Li Shichang said simply.

Cheng Mingdao: "For example, I know that I should go home, and I want to go home, but I can't make my body do what I ordered, but my brain seems to be controlled by something else. They didn't listen to my orders, and wandered around the streets."

"Or, the logic of my mind is that I just shouldn't be home, I should be somewhere else, a destination. The destination is anywhere and it's not going to be home anyway, and I don't realize that's wrong. I think It's better that way, because I don't know what I'm doing."

Li Shichang: "Why do you think so?"

Cheng Ming chuckled and said: "I'm superficial, seeing myself doing some crazy things, it's better to let me die, but what makes me sad is that I want to die, but I can't die, because I can't control it." Myself. But if it’s the other way, I don’t realize that I’m wrong, I just think I’m doing the right thing, then I’ll try to stick to it, just because I’m right, so I’m motivated, even if everyone thinks It’s wrong, I’m the only one who thinks it’s right, and I can persevere happily and energetically. Even if everyone thinks I’m abnormal, I don’t know anyway.”

"I have never experienced many things. Some things can be tasted even if I have not personally experienced them. Whoever has experienced this disease will know who knows. Do you think I am lucky or unlucky? Others can't feel it. I can feel it."

Li Shichang understood everything Cheng Ming said, and the last sentence Cheng Ming said touched Li Shichang's heart.He especially hoped to understand, understand all Cheng Ming's thoughts and feelings, but he couldn't do it.

All he can do now is to make Cheng Ming believe him, "No matter what, I will keep a close eye on you, no matter what you do, only I can see it."

"You put it that way," Cheng Ming giggled twice, "I don't want to be like that anymore."

Cheng Ming's answer was completely expected by Li Shichang. Li Shichang held Cheng Ming's hand, and a deep voice rang in Cheng Ming's ear, "You are too selfish, I think, in order to stop your unwanted thoughts, I also You need to be selfish so that you only love me and don’t give your eyes to others. In this way, whether you can only control yourself or not, your goal is to find me.”

"You're right. I'm really selfish. I can't put my figure down in front of you. No matter how I try to persuade myself, it's useless." Cheng Ming pinched Li Shichang's finger casually, "Maybe your method works again, I hope You work hard. Recently, I found that I can't live without you more and more, what should I do?"

"It's a good trend, you are rarely clingy." Li Shichang said.

"You like it? Actually, I didn't want to do that, but in fact I did. I can understand that you don't expect me, okay?"

"No, I want you to be healthy more than anyone else. You must be aware of this. In addition, clinginess is also a kind of character. You don't need to be ashamed and admit it. You were too ambitious before, and you didn't even have time to think about how to get along with me. , to be honest, I like you better now."

This time Li Shichang really wronged Cheng Ming.

"Don't label me, how do you know if I've thought about it. Also, are you saying, you don't like me before?" Cheng Ming said dissatisfied.

Li Shichang sighed helplessly, "Cheng Cheng, it's not good for you to stay with Lu Chen every day."

"What's the matter with Lu Chen? Don't change the subject." Cheng Ming stopped his hands and looked at Li Shichang.

"No matter what you look like, I will like you for the rest of my life." After Li Shichang finished speaking, he immediately explained: "I mean, haven't you noticed that you are talking more and more like him? You were very gentle before."

Cheng Ming: "..."

"Well, I admit, you shouldn't say I'm selfish, even if you think so in your heart, you shouldn't say it." Even if I know it myself, you don't need to say it.

"You treat me as an outsider too much." Li Shichang summed it up in one word.

"No," Cheng Ming immediately vetoed it, and said again, "How can this be selfish?"

"Because you love me, you try to hide all the bad things, and you don't want me to worry about you. You didn't consider my feelings. I want to share it for you, but because you love me, you don't give me a chance."

"..."

Cheng Ming hated himself for only learning a little from Lu Chen instead of directly learning from him.

There is no room for refutation, the fact is true, he will not deny that he loves Li Shichang.But Cheng Ming was not willing to admit defeat, it was a once in a thousand years to argue with Li Shichang, Cheng Ming found it very interesting.

"You have also changed. You never accused me of anything before." The implication is that you will accuse me now, is it because you dislike me?

Li Shichang could see that Cheng Ming didn't really doubt him, he knew that Cheng Ming was not suitable for quarreling, at most he would speak forcefully, and it was the same.

"A person who remains the same is regressing. You must understand that the lack of communication between us will cause those conflicts that should not exist. In order for us to be more stable, we all need to open our hearts. This is not an accusation."

"It's not unreasonable what you said, but distance creates beauty, and if you get too familiar, you will get tired, not to mention that we will be together for a long, long time."

"You like a stable life, there is no distance to produce beauty. I won't let you get bored, all you need to do is stay by my side."

Cheng Ming laughed uncontrollably, "I like your confidence so much."

Li Shichang smiled slightly, "Is it not narcissism but self-confidence?"

Cheng Ming shook his head, "You are not narcissistic at all, all you have is strength."

"I think what I understand should be what you want to express." Li Shichang put Cheng Ming in his arms, made Cheng Ming sit up straight, and kissed Cheng Ming.

Cheng Ming said with a smile: "Yes, I believe you can do it. Now that I think about it, you have never made me feel tired. Before that happened, I never thought of leaving you."

It goes without saying which thing 'that thing' is.

Li Shichang was about to say something, but Cheng Ming didn't stop, and continued, "I haven't asked you yet, is it fun to have sex with him?"

The curvature of Cheng Ming's mouth did not disappear, and Li Shichang almost watched Cheng Ming say this with a smile, feeling both sad and angry.

Li Shichang gritted his teeth and answered word by word: "It's terrible."

Li Shichang's appearance like this is rare, Cheng Ming was surprised and found it interesting.Li Shichang's heart is very complicated, and he is even more convinced that it is not a good thing for Cheng Ming and Lu Chen to stay together for a long time.

Cheng Ming laughed twice and said, "Don't look at me like that, I'm just curious, really."

"There's nothing to be curious about. It's better to be with you than anyone else to satisfy me."

……

Li Shichang, who has always been rational, made an exception today, but he was far from being impulsive. Punishment of Cheng Ming was enough, and there were still things to do tomorrow.

"It's like... like... um... how much...experience do you have."

On the way, Cheng Ming said something abruptly.

"..."

It's really dangerous without knowing it.

The next day's treatment was postponed from morning to afternoon, just because Cheng Ming got up late.

I was still very tired and uncomfortable, and I also felt a sense of relief that I had never felt before.He didn't care about talking to the doctor about his illness. Even if he knew the specific situation, he didn't have the energy to think about it. All he could do was pray that it would end quickly.

The author has something to say: It's so late, why is Lu Chen coming back?