Qiushui Yiren

Anzhai, Ah Jing's only home, was destroyed by the war, and even our good memories were reduced to ashes overnight.

The only word hurt my heart deeply.

The night I gave myself to Ah Jing, we hugged each other sincerely and chatted. In the near future, we will have another home.

It's not called Anzhai, not Yuzhai.

We gave it a tacky name: Jingyinju.

Ah Jing said that her second home is my home.

Today it is today.

Without her, and without me.

What is home?

……

Picking up Ah Jing from the nightclub, I was eager to dedicate myself.I know very well that paper cannot contain fire.

All the truth will eventually come to light.

So I want to have a good lingering/tender relationship with my beloved Ah Jing before the conspiracy of Yu Zhengqing and Kahn is exposed.

She is so dumb.She is so stupid.She is so silly.she is so cute.She is so domineering.She is so gentle...

Ah Jing is a gentleman and abides by ethics.

If I hadn't taken the initiative, if I hadn't seduced me again and again, she would never have asked me to be innocent.

But I, can't wait.

Ah Jing was very tired that night and slept soundly.I'm tired too, but I can't bear to sleep.

After a night of indulgence, before Ah Jing woke up, I asked Sister Yunqing to arrange a driver to take me back to Yu's house.

I was afraid, afraid of seeing her affectionate eyes, afraid of hearing her call me "Yinyin" affectionately, afraid of her hug, afraid of her kiss... afraid of myself, desperate to stay.

The life of my family is far more important than my own life, just like Ah Jing regards Anshi and Anxi more important than herself.

Soon, relying on Ah Jing's sincere treatment of me, I completed the "mission" entrusted to me by Yu Zhengqing: let An Jing's reputation be ruined, and An Shi will never recover.

The day the newspaper published the kissing photo of Ah Jing and I, she came to pick me up.She took my hand and said: Come with me.

At that moment, my heart was riddled with holes and dripping with blood.

How much I want to just follow her away, wander the world with her, follow her ups and downs, and depend on her life and death.It's fine with her.

She didn't know that that photo was actually one of the traps we set.

So, how can I go?

After bearing the burden of humiliation for so many years, how can I fall short of success.Just let her hate me.Hate me at this time, maybe I can still have some thoughts.

Yu Zhengqing kept my promise and let my family go. I took them to the old city overnight and settled them in the house I bought earlier.I left some savings, touched the skinny faces of my younger brothers and sisters, and said "last words" to my mother.

I said: Mom, the life you gave me, I will give it back to you with the humiliation and the house of the past few years.Every day that follows, I will live for my hero.My life and death, your life and death, have nothing to do with each other.

These years, the lives of my biological mother and younger brothers and sisters have been held in Yu Zhengqing's hands. If I don't cooperate with him in carrying out the plan, they and I will die.

Life is like a mustard, it is our group of bottom-level ants living in the shed.

From life to death, you can't help yourself to choose.

From the day I stepped into the gate of the Yu family, every step I took was covered with thorns, and every step I took was like walking on thin ice.

……

It was only after I lived with Aunt Hong that I realized that Ah Jing had put all her efforts into preparing a safe future for me and my "mother" Aunt Hong.

She is always in a place where I can't see, taking good care of me.As for me, I was always in a place where she couldn't see, and was instigated by others to use tricks on her to lure the tiger away from the mountain.

Our love is so unfair.It was I who owed her, owed love and owed money.

The poor will not be able to pay back in this lifetime.

……

Later, Japan launched a new round of war of aggression against China, and the poor in the shantytowns and old urban areas, including my mother, younger brothers and sisters, all died in the Japanese massacre.

I did not search for their bodies.

I cried.

Not for them, but for myself.

I thought that I could use so many years of humiliation in exchange for their freedom and stability, but in less than a month, they died.

Their death made everything I suffered in the Yu family a big joke.

My life itself is a joke.

Even if it's a joke, I want to live.It's not because of the fantasy of seeing Ah Jing, but because Yu Zhengqing is not dead yet.

If I could go back in time, the day Ah Jing came to Yu's house to pick me up, I would go with her desperately.

But time it, never stay.

……

Later, the domestic parties/factions deployed joint operations in a unified manner, and achieved an initial victory in the resistance/Japanese war in two months, and the Sino-Japanese/battlefield shifted to the Northeast.

The United Kingdom, the United States and France withdrew from Shanghai one after another and returned my country's territorial sovereignty.In Shanghai, there is no longer a distinction between the concession and the Chinese world.

……

Later, without the backing of Kahn and the Bureau of the Ministry of Industry, Yu Zhengqing, whose family property was confiscated by Chen Xu, suddenly fell ill and was lying on the hospital bed. I sneaked into the hospital disguised as a nurse and fed him a whole bottle of pesticide.

He only dispenses pesticides.

Ah Jing, look, I finally did something decent for you.

The same goes for Madam Yu who lost everything. She is not going to live long without me making it worse.

……

Later, I was arrested and imprisoned for intentional killing.

When I first entered the prison, I heard that it was snowing in Shanghai.It's snowing, it's Ah Jing's birthday.

I tried to bang my head against the wall to die.Sister Yunqing said: Why did you die?

She said that Ah Jing only asked her for three things, one was to ask her to borrow 10 oceans, the other was to ask her to settle down with Aunt Hong, and the other was to ask her to take good care of me as best she could.

She didn't understand at first, but now she understands.

Yeah, why should I die?

My life was saved by Ah Jing and the brothers from the gang. My life belongs to Ah Jing. She wants to see me live in pain, so I should be obedient, live in pain, and wait for her to come back alive to see.

Doctor Fu also came to see me.

She said: I used to think that if you don't speak out, you can protect her silently, and you can stay with her for a longer time.But now, I envy you and Master Jing's vigor and vigor.Even if this relationship does not end well, at least, you have loved each other.

I asked: Did she know?

She replied: Yes.I love her, everything about her.But her love has been given to the two children, and no one can separate them.

I asked: Are you going to let go?

She replied: She made her own choice, and I have no power to change her position.

I asked: when are you leaving?

She replied: Maybe it was the day when I accompanied her to give birth to the child in my womb, maybe it was a year or two, or maybe it was any day, just leave as soon as you say.

I said: I would rather let her miss you than let her hate you.The hatred of your sweetheart will make you miserable.

……

Sister Yunqing spent a lot of money to open up contacts, and produced various evidence of Yu Zhengqing's crimes, so that I was released after only half a year in prison.

Half a year is enough for many things to happen.

On the day I was released from prison, sister Yunqing came to pick me up, and in the car was Fu Wenjing who was holding Xiaoning.

And, Xi Xi lying in the cage.Great, Xi Xi is still alive.There is one more connection between me and Ah Jing.

Unfortunately, you and I will depend on each other for our lives.

……

Later, the An family declined, and there was no more Master Jing in Shanghai.

……

……

Three years passed in a flash.

She has come back.

She is Boss An and Sister Jing, except that she is not my A Jing.

……

……

The war is cruel, and it has resulted in the destruction of countless families, the separation of wives and children, and the loss of life.

The war deprived An Xi of his life, and caused Ah Jing to lose his dear brother, and Ru Yue lost his beloved lover.

Ah Jing and Anxi have a deep relationship, and Anxi is a brave fighter.

I can't imagine how deep Ah Jing's grief is.I only hate myself and can't share it with her. For 100 years, An Xi, who was closest to her, failed to accompany her to the end.And I am no longer her favorite person.

Fortunately, the four of us watched "Thunderstorm" at the Pearl Theater and survived tenaciously.

Every sunny evening, I will try my best to go there to watch the sunset.

I will stand on the stone slab where I used to stand side by side with Ah Jing, watching the bustling crowd coming and going, watching my own long, long shadow in the afterglow.

Watching and watching, tears will fall down involuntarily.

Ah Jing was wearing a light-colored riding suit that day, which was cool and beautiful.My mirror looks good in anything.

I wanted to ask that day, can Master Jing know how to ride a horse?If yes, can you teach me?

I didn't ask.

Because of confusion, hesitation.

Ah Jing, you know, after that, I dreamed of riding a horse with you on the grassland chasing the sunset many times.Until I got the answer this year, I never had such a dream again.

It won't be me who rides with you.

At the racecourse outside the pomegranate garden, you handed Mr. Qiang your hand and your smile.There is no place for me beside you.

He also calls you: Ah Jing.

You grew your hair long for him, and you became his mirror, so you are no longer a hero for me alone.

Ye Hao, Ye Hao.

Master Qiang, Sister Yunqing, they are all better than me in loving you.

what am iI'm not even qualified to be jealous.

Fortunately, the photo of you and me in the sunset is still there, and the photo with you in front of the theater, Lord Qiang must not have it, right?No one can take away the mirror in the group photo.

This photo has become the belief that supports me to live without you.

When Sister Yunqing handed it to me, she said: "If I had known that her sweetheart could be a woman, I would not let her heart be occupied by any woman, including you, including me."

At that time, I was enlightened. Maybe many years ago, sister Yunqing's feelings for you were also love.It's just that I realized it later and missed the opportunity.

I feel sorry for Fu Wenjing, and I admire her persistence and openness.

Compared with Sister Yunqing, I am much inferior.

Ah Jing, what can I do?She has been protecting you and helping you; but I have been lying to you and hurting you.

On the back of the photo, there are six words written in black pen:

Sweetheart.big hero.

I've seen Ah Jing's handwriting, but it's not easy to recognize.However, these six characters are extremely neat.Every stroke is cautious, and every stroke hides joy.

I pressed the photo under the glass, and couldn't help but want to take it out many times, and look at those six characters again.

But I dare not.I'm afraid.

I am afraid that it will not be able to withstand the baptism of the years, that it will turn yellow, and that it will fade...

I am afraid that in the photo, I will not be able to see clearly again, big hero...

Although I know that my sweetheart is no longer in your heart.

It doesn't matter Ah Jing, you are in my heart, and will be there for every lifetime.You are my sweetheart.In the next life, I will say this sentence.

You wait for me, wait for me to speak.

Okay?

……

Sister Yunqing said that the day when the first snow falls every year is Ah Jing's birthday.

But it rarely snows in Shanghai.

Not the year before last, not last year, this year, I don’t know if there will be.It's my fault that I forgot to ask her if Ah Jing was born in Shanghai.

The last time the snow fell was the winter when I hurt Ah Jing's heart.

I'm also to blame for thinking that truth can overshadow lies, that broken mirrors can be reunited, that we have a future.

I missed that snow.

Missed my love too.

I only hope that in the coldest time of this winter, when I still have the courage, there will be snow in Shanghai.Give me a chance to spend her birthday with her, and cook a bowl of egg noodles in tomato soup for her.

Ah Jing once said that she has eaten countless delicacies from mountains and seas, but the noodles I cook are the most suitable for her taste.

In the following three years, whenever I thought about her late at night and couldn't fall asleep, I would cook a bowl of egg noodles in tomato soup.In the first few times, I ate a few more bites.

With tears, every mouthful is salty.

For every bowl after that, I only tasted it before the tears fell.

This bite is to confirm the taste of the noodles.

Because I am very afraid, I am afraid that after a long time, the taste of the noodles I make will change.I'm afraid that if it changes, Ah Jing won't like it anymore.

But why,

Before the taste changed, she didn't like it.

I know, it's not that she doesn't like noodles, she just doesn't like the person who cooks noodles anymore.

It's okay, Ah Jing, that person deserved his own fault, so you don't have to feel sorry for him.

……

……

What should I do, A mirror?I still love you very much.

That bad girl Yu Yinxia has already died in hell, how about replacing Hongying in the world to love you?

She will be more considerate and gentle than her, understand you better, know how to measure, and know the general situation better.She won't hurt you any more.

She loves you, everyone in Shanghai knows it.She loves you and has nothing to do with you.

What is related to you is the love letter that Yu Yinxia owes you.Counting from the day we separated in the basement, we haven't seen each other for 32 months, and I wrote 32 letters without addresses.

Ah Jing, I have written the love letter I promised you that year, would you like to take a look?Or, allow me to read it to you...

The author has something to say: Ms. Tang and Dr. Fu, think about it, it is cruel!Do you want to write...