brightest star in the sky

That day was the last time Lu Chenxing saw Gu Ran.

The word breakup has never been said, neither has he, nor has Gu Ran, but he just knows that they have broken up.

For Gu Ran, it started when he ran into Ling Jie in his dormitory that afternoon. For himself, it started when he heard Wang Yang tell Gu Ran that he would not make him sad like this.

I also hated, hated Ling Jie, hated Chen Feiyue, hated Wang Yang, and hated Gu Ran.

Hate your father?No hate because he did nothing wrong, all he did was what any parent would do.

It was me who was wrong, and I was the one who should hate the most.

For Ling Jie, knowing that he couldn't give her what she wanted, but he accepted all the conveniences she gave him. Did he just lose his mind about what he did with her in the dormitory that day?Not all, but also because I have doubts about myself.

Can't I really like girls?

By the way, that was the mentality I had at the time.

Hurt Ling Jie, also hurt Gu Ran.

Wang Yang was right, being with him really brought him sadness.After all, because I was afraid, I was not ready to face everything with him.

After all, he gave up.

Afterwards, Ling Jie never came to look for her again. I heard that a man often came to the school to look for her recently, and I saw it once on campus. Judging by his clothes, he should not be a student.Seeing her, Ling Jie blinked her eyes and greeted herself, as if nothing had happened, maybe the rich lady finally lost interest and turned to other stimuli.

One day, Lu Tianbin comforted Lu Chenxing in the dormitory.

"Xingzi, don't be sad, there is no grass anywhere in the world, why bother to fall in love with a single flower. If you break up, break up, Ling Jie is really not suitable for you."

Lu Chenxing didn't bother to say anything, let them think whatever they wanted!

"Thinking back, I was the first one to find out that you were good at our dormitory. I remember when your buddy Gu Ran came to look for you at the beginning of school. I said that I couldn't find you recently. Ling Jie drove out with you every day. Well, you don't come back at night, hey, Lu Chenxing, how far have you and Ling Jie developed? Are you... still a virgin?"

Lu Chenxing was still silent, feeling a tear fell in his heart, it was cold and cold, just like Fairy Zixia falling in Zhizunbao's heart.

And the one in my heart belongs to Gu Ran.

Misunderstandings are accumulated little by little. He doesn't say anything, I don't explain, and the wall between the two people is getting thicker and thicker.

On the campus in late autumn, the ginkgo is yellow, the maple leaves are red, and the fallen leaves are all over the ground, rustling among them.

Standing there, Lu Chenxing saw that Gu Ran stepped on a dead leaf with every step like a child, and the crisp sound of the shoes when they landed could please him.

"Morning star, do you know that autumn is the season of love."

"What do you mean?"

"The weather was cold, two people walked together, one said it was cold, the other went to hold his hand, and then the first one found that the other's hand was so warm, and after holding it, he couldn't bear to let go, so, That's how a lot of people fall in love, understand?"

I laughed to myself: "What kind of nonsense are you talking about?"

Gu Ran is always like this, bringing him inexplicable happiness.

Gu Ran who was stepping on the leaves in front of him disappeared, and Lu Chenxing heard his own laughter also disappeared.

Obviously it is his own university, but there are his shadows everywhere.

On the basketball court, in the cafeteria, downstairs in the dormitory, in the hidden bamboo grove, in the empty playground, and even in the pre-study classroom, there is his back lying on the table.

One Friday at the end of the year, it happened to be Christmas. Lu Chenxing recalled how he spent Christmas last year. He passed by the window of Gu Ran’s house, and when he looked up, the window was still closed. It’s been almost three months, and there was no message. Not a single phone call, not a single meeting.

I had hoped that he would come back to find himself and say: I miss you, Xing Xing.But never again.The lights in Gu Ran's house were never turned on again.

He won't be coming back.

I remembered that when I met Gu Ran’s roommate more than a month ago, it was on the subway to school. Whether Lu Chenxing was walking or taking the subway, he usually kept his head down, or he only looked at the road and not people, or Zhang Qi When I saw him, I called him.

"Lu Chenxing? What a coincidence, I met you!"

Lu Chenxing was shocked when he saw Zhang Qi, because he was Gu Ran's roommate, and he could get news about Gu Ran when he saw him.

"Zhang Qi, hello."

"Hello hello, long time no see!"

"um, yes."

Lu Chenxing didn't know how to ask him about Gu Ran.

"Lu Chenxing, can I ask a question? What's the matter with you and Gu Ran? We've got a good relationship, but why did we break up all of a sudden, and you didn't come for the breakup meal, it's a pity."

"Party meal?"

Lu Chenxing was puzzled, what breakup meal?

Zhang Qi frowned, "No way, didn't he tell you? What's wrong with this guy? How did you provoke him?"

"He asked me to have a break-up meal? What happened to him?" I had a bad feeling.

The expression on Lu Chenxing's face did not seem to be fake, Zhang Qi knew very well that he was not the kind of person who knew but deliberately pretended not to know.

"You really don't know? He left and went to Canada, so I invited everyone to have a meal last Friday. You also know Chen Feiyue, right? He also came that day."

Lu Chenxing's face turned pale, and he looked at him with disbelief in his eyes. Zhang Qi was a little worried that he would be stimulated. He also knew what to say, and he didn't know what happened between the two of them.But what could be the reason for the breakup between friends, it is similar to stealing a friend's wife!

Gu Ran suddenly said that he was going abroad, and everyone was shocked. He was about to graduate, so why go abroad at this time?However, all the exams that should be taken in the school are over, and only social practice and graduation thesis are left. For a school like HKUST, it is not impossible to go abroad for practice.

But everyone can see that his condition is not very good recently, and he refuses to tell him what's the matter, and then suddenly says he wants to leave.

"Well, don't be like this, he may not be able to think about it for a while. By the way, he said that his mobile phone in China will be used for a while. If you have anything to say, you can still send him a WeChat message."

"Did he say he would come back?" Lu Chenxing asked hoarsely.

"I really don't know about this. It is also possible for our school to graduate remotely. Just hand in the thesis and pass it. Then come back and get a certificate. It's a pity that Gu Ran's grades are so good. He originally planned to take the postgraduate entrance examination, but he doesn't know if he will be able to." I can't take the exam, if I don't come back, I shouldn't take the exam!"

Lu Chenxing couldn't listen to what Zhang Qi said later, and he was numb all the way to school.

For a long time after that, he was in a dissociated state, no one could approach him, and he did not actively talk to others.If someone came to him, he would answer twice, but if no one came to him, he would be alone, attending classes, eating, reading, and sleeping every day, like a walking dead.

Lu Chenxing thought, it's okay, if he hadn't met Gu Ran, wouldn't he still be living like this?The happiness of these seven years seems to have been stolen.

I have no plans to take the postgraduate entrance examination, graduate early, work early, earn money to support the family, take care of my father, and mother, so let's live my life like this!

Nothing.

The key to Gu Ran's house is always with him. He has never wanted to go back, that is, he doesn't want to see him anymore. What kind of key do he need? Wouldn't it be easier to just change the lock?

Lu Chenxing has never checked whether Gu Ran changed the lock, isn't it good to have an unrealistic fantasy?Although it is so ridiculous.

Sometimes I would go for a walk along the Binjiang alone, remembering my confession to Gu Ran back then.

Gu Ran, you see, not only you have confessed to me, but I have also confessed to you, it’s just a year later than you, I didn’t even wait for the university notice to tell you, I said I Promised, want to be with you, I like you too.

Do you remember?

I met Chen Feiyue in Binjiang that day. I was with his girlfriend. It should be called Jiang Ling, right?The girl saw me and greeted me from a distance, but Chen Feiyue didn't, so he pretended not to see me, and dragged Jiang Ling away.Originally, he and I were not friends.

Before that, Chen Feiyue went to the Polytechnic University to find him once.Later, Lu Chenxing calculated the time and found out that he should have come to find him when he learned that Gu Ran was going to the news.

That afternoon, he was standing at the school gate, staring at Lu Chenxing who was about to leave the school gate. He could see his fists clenched tightly. He wanted to give him a beating, but then he seemed to answer a phone call, and then held back. He left angrily, and pointed at himself before leaving, which was to express a kind of extreme disdain and dissatisfaction. He always looked at himself like this, but this time he seemed to be disgusted to the extreme.

It was almost the Chinese New Year, and it was already a holiday. When Lu Chenxing came home, he happened to see his father just hung up the phone.

"Xingxing, what's going on with you and Xiaoling? Why isn't she here? I won't answer the phone either."

"Stop calling, I told you last time, she has a boyfriend now, what are you doing?"

Is Lu Chenxing really? There's nothing you can do about him, sometimes you want to get angry with him, but you can't say harsh words for fear of irritating him.

"I called her and asked her to come to my house for dinner. Isn't this a holiday? You won't really divide, will you?"

"What's a true score? I've never been with her before!"

Lu Haitao jumped.

"Xing Xing, tell me honestly, is it Gu Ran, who messed you up?!"

Lu Chenxing didn't bother to tell him, took off his shoes and entered the room, sat on the bed and ignored him.

"Isn't it? Tell me! I know it must be him! The last time Eleven Xiaoling came, I ran into that guy surnamed Gu in the supermarket. It's better not to tell him that your girlfriend came to eat at home. He walked away with a cold face, and I asked him to come to eat at home, he was fine! I must have troubled Xiaoling later, Xing Xing, you should go to Xiaoling to explain! This kid surnamed Gu is really bad!"

Lu Haitao became even more anxious when he saw that he suddenly turned around and lay down on the bed, ignoring himself.

"Xingxing, speak up!"

"what happened to you?"

"Why are you crying?"

"you…"

Lu Chenxing was laying on the bed, sobbing loudly, he understood, he understood everything, why Gu Ran called him suddenly that day and asked him to come out, why did he go home after drinking like that for his birthday the next day, why did he say to himself Say something hysterical like that?

And myself, what the hell did I say to him at that time? !

In this life, I will never forgive myself!

Lu Chenxing thought so.

Except for the time when his grandma passed away, Lu Haitao had never seen him cry like this before, so he was too anxious.

"Star!"

"Dad, please stop talking, please stop talking! Gu Ran, Gu Ran has already left, I will never see him again!"

Hearing Lu Chenxing's desperate voice lying on the bed, Lu Haitao raised his hand just now, wanting to pat him on the back to comfort him, but now he put it down again.He also seemed to understand something, and finally stopped talking, and let Lu Chenxing cry.

It has been more than three months, and the emotions I have been suppressing are out of control.

Why did she only know what happened after she and Gu Ran separated?All of them were spread out in front of him, and each of them stabbed his heart with a sharp knife!

And after knowing so much, it seemed that he finally accepted the fact that Gu Ran had really left him, and he had really lost Gu Ran.

Goodbye, Gu Ran, my love.