Unpretentious campus essay

For the next four years, they never saw each other again, but Huang Heyuan often saw Baiyun Jian in his dreams.

He would dream of meeting him for the first time, with thick bangs covering his eyes, plastic black-rimmed glasses that are terribly dirty, sitting in the last row of the classroom, looking up at him through the booing classmates-? Eyes.

He would dream that the drizzle was falling, and he and he were walking on the Camphor Avenue in No. [-] Middle School, holding a sky-blue umbrella together, as if there was a clear blue sky above their heads.When the wind blows, they fly up with umbrellas, flying around the world lightly.

He would dream that during the exam, Bai Yunjian would sit in front of him, and he forgot to bring something, poke his back, and Bai Yunjian would hand him something.

These are rare sweet dreams, and most of the time, Huang Heyuan's dreams are not among the white clouds.

Some of them are very boring dreams, and I keep looking at files, as if there is no end.

Some dreams were very noisy, he was too young, no one convinced him, he cried and scolded in the meeting room, but everyone looked at him with the expression of seeing a kindergartener not getting a toy.

More often, he would dream of Huang Zhenhua.

Dreamed that he was four or five years old, Huang Zhenhua was still...a magician, a snow-white dove flew out from his cloak, he grinned in surprise and clapped his hands happily, Huang Zhenhua took off his magic hat and bowed to him, saying: "Son, this is? It's a miracle!"

Or he becomes...a kid, a family of three? Going out to play, Huang Zhenhua took his mother's hand and ran forward without looking back. His legs seemed to be filled with lead and he couldn't move. Crawling on the ground, crying and yelling to tell them not to leave me—? Individual.

What he dreamed most often was that villa in j city. At the age of 17, he was wearing a one-piece duck pajamas, holding a feather duster, and gently flicked the dust off the figure.

Huang Zhenhua came back from a business trip, and he ran out with a feather duster, "Didn't you say you came back last night?" His tone was a little panicked, "Fuck, Huang Zhenhua, why are you—? What are you doing so hard when you're old, go to bed!"

Huang Zhenhua's old face turned yellow and his eyes were red, as if he hadn't slept for several days.He stared at him for a few seconds, and pulled an ugly smile, "Son...the girl who went to the library with you to do homework with you before, isn't it, Xiaobai?"

"..."

"Are you and Xiaobai..." Huang Zhenhua struggled to utter three words, "Homosexual."

That was not a good time to come out, Huang Heyuan couldn't figure out why his father would suddenly question him, and seeing his -?

"I'm not gay." He heard himself say, "Who told you that? Gu Haiyu?"

"I just knew you weren't. Homosexuality is so disgusting, how could you be?" Huang Zhenhua was obviously relieved—heaved a sigh of relief, and whispered, "You just want to know what it feels like to kiss, right, Xiaobai Looks like a girl...Young man is full of blood, normal and normal."

kiss……

He and Bai Yun only kissed twice.Huang Zhenhua couldn't possibly know about the first time in the homestay.

The second time was Bai Yunjian's birthday, he gave Bai Yunjian -? couple necklaces, and they kissed -? times in his room.

Even in his dream, he could still feel that kind of shocking, tingling scalp. He threw down the feather duster, rushed to his room, rummaged around like crazy, on the bookshelf, and pulled out—? a small video camera.A thick layer of dust fell on the camera. It seems that Huang Zhenhua has been monitoring him for two days.

The biggest quarrel ever broke out between him and Huang Zhenhua.

He stomped on the floor and growled: "You spy on me, the cameras all over the room are not enough, you fucking pretend in my room secretly, are you perverted Huang Zhenhua?! You can't fucking be a voyeur, right? Peeping at your son taking a shower Do you want to change clothes?!"

"It's just aimed at the desk... I'm just afraid that you will stay up late playing computer... I didn't look at other things."

He slammed the camera at Huang Zhenhua fiercely, "So why? I'm good, right?! This house really can't stay any longer, -? There's no privacy at all? I want to run away from home!!!"

He cried and ran towards the door, Huang Zhenhua pulled him back with a green face, "Where are you going? Baiyunjian's house?!"

"Leave me alone?!"

"Does his parents know that he is a pervert?!" Huang Zhenhua roared and exploded, "If you don't learn well at a young age, you are a pervert! I saw it, it was he who took the initiative to kiss you!!! Don't go to school, I Immediately take you to move!"

"Don't you dare! He's not a pervert, I like him! I want to be with him-?!"

"Didn't you say that you're not gay! You've been bewitched by him!" Huang Zhenhua got angry and slapped him, as if trying to wake him up, "You forgot, why did you drop out of school? Just because ? Gay! Do you know how disgusting gays are?!"

He poked his neck, without the slightest sign of giving in, "Yes, I'm not gay! I just like him, I just like him! I like him as a woman, and I like him as a man!"

"..." Huang Zhenhua slapped him—? After slapping him, he seemed to calm down. He touched the slap mark on his face with shaking hands, "Baby, you are too young, you don't understand... Men and men, where are you?" Can it last for a long time... Isn't my Huang family going to end... How can I explain to your mother. Tell me, is it because? I spend too little time with you, so you like men. Dad supplies? How are you, You change it back, you can't be gay..."

"You...just? Are you concerned about whether the Huang family will become extinct?" He pushed Huang Zhenhua away, crying hoarsely, "When will you understand that I am not your pet, nor is it a tool for you to make up for your regrets! I will not marry— A woman who is almost like your mother, live the perfect life you imagined! I am not you, I am myself!"

"I don't?! You at least, you at least..." Huang Zhenhua said incoherently, "Have a child, yes, you can be a surrogate, son, you can be a surrogate..."

"Damn it! You have? Disease! Extinction is? Extinction. If you really can't get over this hurdle, you might as well live it yourself!"

"You...you..." Huang Zhenhua trembled with anger, "I knew there was? Today, your mother and I should have a second child!"

"While you don't have impotence, why don't you find a little wife in time!"

He knew too well where Huang Zhenhua's weakness was, and he knew where to poke it the most. He used the most vicious words he could think of to force him to compromise, "Don't you think? No mother—?like?. Huang Zhenhua, if you have a future——a little bit, will my mother commit suicide? If you treat me well, I won’t be what I am today?. What’s the use of making up for it now? I’ll just do it. If you want to be gay, you are not qualified to control me, you are not worthy!!!”

Huang Zhenhua picked up the feather duster and made a gesture to slap him, but he kept his face up and didn't dodge it, as if he had the ability to slap him to death.

Snapped.The feather duster fell to the ground and broke into two pieces. Huang Zhenhua took a deep look at him - took a deep look, opened the door, and slammed it hard.

Don't go, Dad, don't go, please... The Yellow River is floating in the air, -? Down-? Down to the door? Hit.He wanted to stop this—all, even in his dreams, and he wanted to have—a happy ending.But every time the ending is the same, he will be bounced back by the door, no matter how hard he hits, he can't get out, sometimes he will wake up in reality, sometimes he won't.The house was like—a prison, and it trapped him in his dreams.All he could hear was the sound of the car engine starting—until it disappeared.

He saw himself sitting on the ground and crying for a long time, counting how much money he had, crying and packing his luggage. He still remembered thinking in his heart that he would never talk to Huang Zhenhua again, and never go back. This is a home full of surveillance.He wanted to go to Bai Yunjian's house and lie in his arms and cry for a while, but because his face was swollen from Huang Zhenhua's beating, he looked ugly and miserable, and he cried so much that he-? Feeling ashamed, I took a taxi and stayed at the hotel.

Is this dream still not over?Huang Heyuan thought that when he dreamed here before, he would wake up for various reasons.How come? No? Someone called? He called?Or is it because he took too many sleeping pills and couldn't hear the phone when it rang?He won't die, is this the brain's dying memory?

At the age of 17, he was still crying, crying so much that Huang Heyuan was upset, so he raised his leg and kicked him — his foot passed through his body without any accident.

"—? Fan Daqie なモノを,—? Fan Daqie にしたい, そんな单纯なことが, 今は—? Ban で き nai..."

The phone rang, and the caller ID was Huang Zhenhua.

answer the phone! ! !Huang Heyuan shouted to himself, answer the phone, answer the phone, this is your last chance to hear Huang Zhenhua's voice, answer the phone, bastard! ! !

However, the 17-year-old couldn't hear him, and he wouldn't know what the call meant.With tears in his eyes, he angrily hung up the phone. "Huang Zhenhua, you can't coax me well!"

Is it the same as last time?Huang He looked at himself from a distance.Thinking almost masochistically, bastard, no one has coaxed you, and no one will coax you again.

"—? Fan Daqie なモノを,—? Fan Daqie にしたい, そんな单纯なことが, 今は—? Ban で き nai..."

The phone rang again, and Huang Heyuan thought in a trance, how many times did Huang Zhenhua call, twice?Or is it — this time.He can't remember clearly, he can maintain a certain level of sobriety in his dream, but his memory is not necessarily accurate.

The phone rang continuously, and he fell into a deep sleep on the bed. Huang Heyuan reached out tentatively and slid down the answer button.

"...Dad?" He said cautiously.What would Huang Zhenhua tell him?Would you scold him——Dun, or—like before—? Forgive him with a smile.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Just? Think death is the best relief for him.Then there was a muffled sound, slightly crisp, it was the sound of a shovel hitting Huang Zhenhua's body, maybe it was the back of the head or a leg, Huang He didn't know.The screams came to an abrupt end, leaving only a dying moan.

"Huang Zhenhua...!!!"

Huang Heyuan's body suddenly lost weight, and when he opened his eyes, he saw the snow-white ceiling. He was sitting on an office chair, so tired that he couldn't even lift his fingers.

are you awake?He was relieved—heaved a sigh of relief, finally woke up, great.

Tuk tuk.Secretary Sun is at the door? Knock on the door, "Xiao Yuan."

"Ah."

Huang Heyuan raised his heavy eyelids and looked at Secretary Sun's wrinkled face.

Is his current secretary Secretary Sun?It seems not, Secretary Sun has resigned.

I'm not awake yet, I'm still in a dream.

"This is the video you want." Secretary Sun seemed a little unbearable, "Do you want to watch it?"

"want."

Secretary Sun handed over the iPad slowly, and he pressed the play button impatiently.

——This is a dimly lit, extremely shaky video, just like—a small-budget cult movie, but the director is himself.Two men were beating violently—a man lying on the ground didn't scream, because the man's mouth was gagged, and the whole video only consisted of the muffled sound of fists and kicks, the man's beating gasps, and the weak whimper.

The man who knocked Huang Zhenhua into a vegetative state only received a life sentence.When he came out of the court, he smiled at Huang Heyuan. He just wanted to spend his whole life in prison, and life imprisonment was exactly what he wanted.

But now, Huang Heyuan looked at the video and raised the corners of his mouth.

The video lasted for -? hours, and he watched intently, his face full of morbid excitement. He still regrets that this video does not have? Screams and blood. The death of that? (Note: This -? paragraph is Xiao Huang's dream, whether it is true or false, everyone should treat it rationally. The plot of the novel should not be brought into reality)

"Xiao Yuan, it's not good for you to be like this." Secretary Sun sighed—"Your father wouldn't want to see you like this."

"How about me??" He said coldly, "Something like him can make him live longer——years are already cheap for him, shouldn't he die?"

"Those you hired? Two people... You are not... doing evil, Xiao Yuan!"

He seemed to be escaping from something, and said quickly: "They did it voluntarily, and their family will live a good life. Even if they are released from prison, they may not be able to give their family such a good life. I That's right."

Secretary Sun shook his head sadly, and two days later, he handed in his resignation.

Huang Heyuan saw that he had signed it, and threw the resignation letter on the ground in a fit of anger. Secretary Sun picked up the paper, sighed——heaved a sigh of relief and walked out of the office.

He should have recovered at that time.Huang Heyuan thought calmly, he didn't regret killing that scumbag, but he regretted it very much.He should do whatever it takes to keep Secretary Sun, whether it's a misfortune or a kidnapping, otherwise he won't have such a miserable life in the future.

No one thinks that at the age of 22, he can support Huang Zhenhua's career. —? Cooperation was canceled one after another, and employees resigned one after another when they saw that the situation was not right. The old people who remained either wanted to take over the company, or sold their shares to get out as soon as possible.He really couldn't afford it. He sold the house, the car, and the figures.He put down his dignity to ask someone to do something, got drunk and passed out on the side of the road.

He watched himself vomit, knelt in front of the stinky vomit, clenched his fists and shouted to the sky: "You can't grind me! You can't grind me! Come on, this king will never give in! Just? No!!! Never !!! NEVER!!! NEVER DIE!!!"

The dream that followed was a chaotic scene. He sometimes became himself, shuttling through the grotesque scenes, and sometimes became a bystander, watching himself doing all kinds of ridiculous things.

The cracks in reality cannot be repaired by blood and slogans.He hated Huang Zhenhua? He made some money to be an undercover kid, hated his hypocritical play, hated his cowardly appearance stuck in the past and unable to get out?What's ridiculous is that he lived like Huang Zhenhua, as if it was a kind of curse, he struggled desperately, or was he re-enacting Huang Zhenhua's life.

How? Wake up!How in the end? To wake up!Huang Heyuan lost all his patience, he didn't want to see himself again!Wake up, wake up!Or dream about something else, batching files is also good!

Huang Heyuan wasn't born with the ability to have lucid dreams, it's just that he had too many nightmares and exercised this ability, and now, he seems to be able to control his dreams.

He dreamed of the white clouds again.

When Huang Zhenhua's accident just happened - during that period of time, he hated himself extremely.Huang Zhenhua was attacked in front of his mother's grave. He is so strong and usually very vigilant. If he hadn't been disturbed because of arguing with him, maybe nothing would have happened.In addition, he also hated Bai Yunjian.He always thought, if he hadn't?His rationality told him that Bai Yunjian was innocent, everything was just an incompetent venting of anger, but he couldn't control it, something went wrong with him, and he couldn't help liking him without any grudges or impurities.

He ran away like a scumbag, thinking that he could forget Bai Yunjian.His life is so long and so young, and his acquaintance and love with Bai Yunjian is only a short-? years, everything will change, let alone the illusory love.

Time has proved that he thinks about feelings too simply.In the next few years, he never met again, just a look in the eyes, holding hands once, can make his heart beat faster, a person who is in the fog.Just like Huang Zhenhua only loved his mother in his life, it seemed that he only had one so-so-one chance in his life and used it on Bai Yunjian.

But if you missed it, you missed it. Bai Yunjian was not imprisoned in the past, he——moved forward, and he didn't like him anymore.

In the white clouds in my dream, I was wearing a blue and white school uniform, and I looked the same as when I was in high school. I sat in front of the computer and broadcast live, with a yellow parrot standing on my shoulder.The parrot flapped its wings and jumped around, sometimes pecking at his hair, and sometimes flying to the keyboard and stomping on it.Bai Yunjian didn't? Angry, it could be said that he gently scratched the parrot's head.

At this time, he didn't know what he saw in front of the screen, his eyes suddenly turned cold.

Fuck, I actually dreamed about this part... Huang Heyuan reached out and pressed his phone, but this time he failed to control the dream, and Bai Yunjian still said those words.

"I've said it many times. If you donate, please don't bring sunflowers with your ID. Don't give sunflowers as gifts. Thank you."

"No? Why? It's just annoying."

Huang Heyuan pressed the screen desperately, but it was different from reality, he couldn't quit in his dream, and the next development was even more outrageous, that chirping bird suddenly turned into a human, who looked exactly like him— Looking like that, he kissed Bai Yunjian with his head sideways, and pulled down the zipper of his school uniform.

grass!Give? I wake up!Huang Heyuan clenched his fists, and suddenly -? Turned over, the feeling of weightlessness was followed by a very real pain, he sat up on the floor, panting rapidly.

His whole body was covered in sweat, and the cold air wrapped himself, bringing an extremely touching sense of reality.

Finally woke up.Huang Heyuan rubbed his temples with a splitting headache, feeling a little nauseous.

The cell phone beside the pillow vibrated, and the caller ID: Lei Jinlong.

The world is said to be big, but he and Bai Yunjian have never met each other once, and they are said to be small. After graduation, Lei Jinlong applied his resume to his company.He especially remembered Lei Jinlong's expression as if he had been struck by lightning when he saw him sitting on the interview table, which was very funny.Because of this rare joy, Huang Heyuan left Lei Jinlong behind.And Lei Jinlong fell lame back then, didn't go to a good university? He couldn't pass the civil servant exam, so he didn't have the right to choose, so he became his secretary.

Before answering the phone, Huang Heyuan looked at the time—eight o'clock in the morning.

"Hey."

"Boss Huang, wake up." Lei Jinlong said.

"I told you to do it at seven? I'll call to wake me up." Huang Heyuan said in a bad tone, "It's fucking past eight o'clock now."

Lei Jinlong——Dun, "You didn't go home until after three o'clock last night, and the meeting with Mr. Zha was arranged at ten o'clock in the morning. You can sleep more—? for a while."

"What qualifications do you have to make your own decisions?" Huang Heyuan said coldly, "Next time, if this happens, just stop doing it."

"……sorry."

Huang Heyuan hung up the phone irritatedly, suffering from a terrible headache, and his heart beat fast when he took a cold shower. These few nesting doll dreams almost cost him half his life.

We have to start keeping healthy.Huang Heyuan thought, he can't die suddenly, he has to live well until the day when Huang Zhenhua wakes up.

After taking a cold shower, I finally feel better—somewhat.He lived in the company, and when he went out, he was in the office. He drank a cup of coffee in the pantry, and got up at ten past nine to meet his partner.

The partner's name is Zhagong, and I haven't seen it yet, but it seems a little strange.

"He made an appointment to meet at the gym?" Huang Heyuan asked, "Why? What?"--When people meet, they either meet in a company or a restaurant, or at some sensual place. The appointment is at the gym. Huang Heyuan? See you next time.

Lei Jinlong said: "His secretary said that Mr. Zha must lose his double chin within -? weeks, and -? Minutes -? Seconds must not be wasted."

Huang Heyuan: "..."

It was the morning, and there was no one in the gym, so Huang Heyuan saw Zagong on the treadmill.

Zagong was only wearing a pair of sweatpants, sweating and wheezing on the treadmill, his two-layer belly was shaking and shaking, which seemed to be quite rhythmic.

It's past ten o'clock, and Zagong hasn't got off the treadmill yet, which is actually very disrespectful to him.Huang He sat far away, drinking tea, full of patience.He has suffered a lot over the years because of his quick temper, and he has also suffered even greater insults. Waiting a little longer is nothing.

After running, Zagong went into the bathroom to take a shower, came out wearing big underpants, wrapped in a white bath towel, and fell down on the sofa like a beach of fat meatloaf.

"Boss Huang, right?" Zagong looked at him and smacked his mouth, "You have a good figure. You have wide shoulders, narrow waist and long legs, how did you practice?"

Huang Heyuan wanted to leave a little bit.He suspects that Zagong is gay, and wants to fuck him, or wants to be fucked by him.No, give? No amount of money.

"Mr. Zha has won the award." Huang Heyuan smiled hard, "I can't help it. I have to train myself better when I come out to work."

"I used to have a better figure than you. But? When I get old, I will always gain weight." Zagong patted his belly, "You don't look old, have you fallen in love?"

The more it sounds the more gay it sounds.Huang He sat far away calmly—somewhat, "I have a girlfriend, and I'm getting married."

"Hey, it's convenient for you guys to be heterosexual." Zagong turned his head, and there was a sense of...so?—? tears in his eyes, "I'm so hungry."

The corner of Huang Heyuan's mouth twitched, "Mr. Zha, I've already booked a restaurant. I wonder if Cantonese food doesn't suit your taste?"

"Don't eat! Don't tempt me." Zagong waved his hands and patted his face. A woman came over and applied a mask on him meticulously.

Huang Heyuan: "..." What is the origin of this palace? !

Perhaps Huang Heyuan's shock was too obvious, Zagong waved his hand and said, "Don't get me wrong, I'm not usually so particular. The main reason is that I met my first love."

Huang Heyuan: "Ah..." Fortunately, no matter how he collapsed all these years, he has maintained the bottom line of his appearance. Otherwise, if he encounters the white clouds in the morning and day, maybe he will be reduced to Zhagong like this? .

"It's said that time is a butcher's knife, hey, it just killed me, not him." Zagong put on a mask and said vaguely: "He's still so white."

The white clouds are still so white.

"I'm not fat, I'm not bald. The longer I look, the better. I'm a star, and I have a lot of fans."

Huang Heyuan drank tea—????, and Baiyunjian too. Time seemed to pass him by, and he—?hadn’t changed at all. He was still so good-looking. People called him husband or wife everywhere.

"Mimi is still so pink."

Huang Heyuan—? Mouth? Choking on tea, coughing violently.These descriptions, no matter how Baiyunjian fits them!

"What's his name?"

"What are you doing?" Zagong was wary.

"It's nothing." Huang Heyuan said, "Didn't you say you are a celebrity? Maybe I know him."

"I won't tell you." Zagong said, "Hey, is your first love your current fiancée?"

"……no."

"Ah...are you disabled?"

"No?" Huang Heyuan said, "He is very good-looking, even better than a celebrity."

"Better than that? What, does Lin Jiangxue look good?"

Who is Huang Heyuan at all? I don’t know who Lin Jiangxue is, but he must be a star.No matter who it is, Baiyunjian Tianxia-? Looks good, no matter whether it will offend others, he nodded firmly.

Zagong looked at him and said, "That? It's really good-looking. Mr. Huang, are you like this? No way, look at your dark circles, and your face is still haggard. If you are unlucky and meet your first love, how do you see him?"

Huang Heyuan: "..."

Although Zhagong is a wonderful flower, the talk went smoothly.It's just that Huang Heyuan was quite irritated. When he returned to the company, there was no approval document for the first time. Instead, he went to the toilet to look in the mirror.