I'm really just an ordinary person

The helicopter in the fourth room directly sent me to the door of my house, attracting countless passers-by to watch.

"Hey, hey, if you just park the helicopter here, the impact will be bad?" I said.

"Then I just told you to jump off the plane, why didn't you jump?" Fushimi Saruhiko said.

"Am I crazy? If I jump from a height of 1000 meters, I will fall into a puddle of mud, okay?" I said.

Fushimi Saruhiko looked at me suspiciously, then pushed his glasses and said, "If that's really the case, then it's fine."

"Hey, are we still friends?" I couldn't help complaining, "Do you really want to see me turn into a puddle of mud?"

"Yes." Fushimi Saruhiko said without hesitation.

"Ah! Our friendship has come to an end, I want to break/break up with you!" I said loudly.

Daoming Si, who was driving the helicopter, poked his head over: "What is Jue/jiao?"

"...Minors are not allowed to drive!" I said.

Daoming Si made a gesture to shut up.

"Okay, after I find out who is offering you a reward, I will tell you as soon as possible." Fushimi Saruhiko said, "You go, I have to go back and write a report."

"Okay, I'll trouble you then." I waved at Fushimi Saruhiko who was standing on the hatch of the helicopter, "Goodbye, little monkey!"

"Goodbye, Chiyo."

It was only after the helicopter left that the neighbor's aunt came over cautiously.

"Chiyo, was that young man your boyfriend just now?" the aunt asked gossipingly.

"Huh? The one just now? The one with glasses?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah, a handsome young man." The aunt said, "It just doesn't look very healthy."

is not that right?Fushimi Ape is 1.7 meters taller than Gu Mingming, but weighs only a pitiful 50 kilograms. In addition, he doesn't eat well and works overtime all day. The dark circles on his eyes become more and more obvious. His whole body It is simply false.

"Auntie, you really misunderstood, we are not boyfriend and girlfriend." I explained.

The aunt gave me a look that I understand, then patted my shoulder meaningfully and left.

No, Auntie, you really misunderstood.

When I got home, what greeted me was Osamu Dazai hanging himself from the headlight.

"How does it feel to hang yourself?" I asked modestly.

"...No... how about it." Dazai Osamu said intermittently, "Let me...down..."

I went to the living room, picked up a fruit knife from the table, and cut the rope by throwing the knife.

With a plop, Osamu Dazai slumped to the ground like a dead fish.

"Why did you want to hang yourself today?" I asked.

Osamu Dazai turned over weakly, and looked at me with resentful eyes: "What's the point of living if I don't have crabs to eat?"

"Can't you go buy and eat by yourself?" I was a little speechless.

"I-no-want-" Dazai Osamu replied in a long voice, "I want to eat the crab cooked by Xiao Chiyo."

"Okay, okay, let's eat crabs tonight." I said helplessly.

"By the way, how is the filming of Oda Tsukuru's film going?" I asked while cleaning up the mess made by Osamu Dazai.

Osamu Dazai sat on the ground with his legs crossed, and replied, "It will be released in three months."

"So fast?" I was a little surprised.

"After all, it was invested by the Suzuki Foundation." Osamu Dazai said, "How are you doing in Tokyo? What did Reji Munakata tell you?"

"He asked me if I wanted to join the fourth branch, and I said no." I replied, "I always feel that if I do join, I will be squeezed very hard."

"Just look at your little best friend. That kid should have been squeezed and won't last long." Osamu Dazai said, "Every time I see him on TV, I find that he is even thinner than before. , and continue to work overtime, I think he will probably be skinny and skinny."

"That's why I don't want to be your Japanese civil servant." I said, "It's easy to die from overwork."

"Then what career does Chiyo want to pursue?" Osamu Dazai asked curiously, "Actor? Teacher? Or become a novelist like Oda Saku?"

I said with some embarrassment: "Actually, I just want to be a squat at home."

"Oh——" Osamu Dazai said with a long voice, "It's a good idea, the same as mine. However, your parents probably won't agree with you to do this, right?"

I nodded and said, "They always wanted me to take the civil service exam, saying that it would be more stable, and it would be easier for girls to find a partner in the future."

"You're only 17 years old, have your parents already worried about your finding a partner?" Osamu Dazai widened his eyes in surprise.

"Yes, this is also a common phenomenon in China." I said helplessly, "Before entering university, they strictly forbid us to fall in love, but after entering university, they will immediately start urging us to get married. Have a baby. Where am I going to conjure him a boyfriend?"

"Hmm..." Dazai Osamu thought for a while, and then said, "Boyfriend. What does Chiyo want from a boyfriend?"

"Just live." I said.

"Is it that simple?" Dazai Osamu said with a smile, "I thought you would say a lot of conditions."

I thought about it, and then said: "Actually, it's useless to talk about a lot of conditions, because I don't know what kind of person I will meet. assumptions are not valid.”

"You're right." Osamu Dazai said, "Then, does Chiyo have someone he likes?"

"No." I said, "From my birth to now, I haven't even had a single person I like."

"Oh, this is really a pity." Osamu Dazai said.

I looked at Osamu Dazai and asked, "Does Dazai have a favorite woman?"

"Yes." Osamu Dazai replied with a smile, "I like all the beautiful sisters. If they can die with me, I will like them even more."

"Be more serious." I rubbed my forehead.

"I'm serious." Dazai Osamu looked at me with those beautiful peach blossom eyes, and the affectionate eyes showed that if I hadn't known his true nature a long time ago, I would have fallen directly into his big hole.

So, the man Dazai Osamu is really too dangerous.

"Hey, if Chiyo was asked to choose one of all the people he knew to be her boyfriend, who would Chiyo choose?" Osamu Dazai asked.

"Hmm..." I squeezed my chin and thought for a while, then said, "If I were to choose one of you, I should choose Zhongye."

"Hey? Why is that sticky slug better than me?" Osamu Dazai said with a dissatisfied expression.

"Because Chuya is super cute." I said naturally, "Who wouldn't like Chuya Nakahara?"

"Cute? The only thing that little slug can be considered cute is his height, right?" Osamu Dazai complained.

"Who said that?" I objected, "Zhongye is very cute, and he has small canine teeth. He is innocent and shy, and he will blow his hair when he teases him. He is super cute, isn't he?"

"I don't think so at all." Osamu Dazai put on a disgusted expression.

"The little slug is obviously short and has strange tastes. He often wears a hat that is ugly as hell, and the clothes he wears are also pitch-black. The whole thing is a dark dwarf." Osamu Dazai said, "And He is also simple-minded, with well-developed limbs. He obviously likes to drink, but his capacity for alcohol is terrible. When he is drunk, he also likes to be drunk. How cute is such a little thing?"

"Hmph, you don't understand!" I said, "Chuya, he is super cute! He is obviously a mafia, but he always subconsciously helps many people. Although his mouth is hard to death, his heart is very soft. ...Moreover, his dressing taste is obviously super good! The three-piece suit really fits his figure, especially the part between his gloves and forearm, which is absolutely in the realm! Choker, super sexy/qi!"

I listed the outstanding points of Chuya Zhongyuan bit by bit, and the more I talked, the more excited I became, and finally I even said what I always wanted to do in my mind.

"I really want to put on a pettiskirt, and say to me in the tone of a lady with inner characters, 'Master, welcome back, do you want to eat first or do you want to eat me?'!"

Hearing my words, Osamu Dazai's eyes lit up.

"Oh~ this is really a good idea." Osamu Dazai said.

"Yeah, I think Chuuya would be super cute in a skirt." I said excitedly, pulling Dazai Osamu's hands.

He rarely agrees with me here.

"The only thing that little man can see is his face."

"So you will die even if you don't lose a day?" I was a little speechless.

"It's going to be crazy." Osamu Dazai said.

I curled my lips and wanted to continue talking to Osamu Dazai, but the phone rang suddenly.

I took out my phone and looked, and the caller ID on it was Katsuki Bakugo.

"What's the matter? Who's calling?" Osamu Dazai stretched his neck curiously and leaned over to see, "Katsuki Bakugo? A student from Xiongying High School, how do you know him?"

"Just a coincidence," I said, "I'll explain to you later."

After connecting the phone, I heard the familiar impatient voice on the opposite side: "Are you there yet?"

"Ah, I'm home," I said.

I just remembered that I promised Katsuki Bakugo to call him back when I got home to report that he was safe.

"Then why didn't you call me?" I could imagine his villainous face through the phone.

"Accidentally forgot." After all, I never had this habit before.

"You... Forget it, as long as you get home safely." He seemed to want to say something, but he didn't say it in the end.

Although he didn't speak, he didn't hang up the phone either. I didn't know what he was thinking and whether he had anything else he wanted to say to me, so I didn't hang up the phone either.

In this way, after we persisted in silence for 2 minutes, Osamu Dazai, who was watching, burst out laughing.

"You two are too interesting." Osamu Dazai said.

Hearing a strange man's voice, Katsuki Bakugo asked, "Hey, Chiyo, who are you with now?"

"I..." I was about to answer, when Osamu Dazai came over and put his arms around my shoulders, put his head next to the phone, and said, "Hi, Bakugo-kun, I'm Chiyo's boyfriend."