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【SSR·Ansai Waist Drum】, bonus attribute: 【Master of Shadow Stream】

Osamu Dazai looked at the three Linglings who were dancing indulgently in fiery red waist drum suits on the mobile phone, and fell into long-term contemplation.

How did things become like this?He couldn't figure it out.

He just smoked ten rounds happily, and deliberately replaced the "Good Luck" that would only suck his good luck with the "Great Compassion Mantra" that would only suck away his good luck. Shouldn't the Buddha see him so sincerely? Bless him for his sake?

In front of [SSR Cuihua, serve sauerkraut! ], followed by [SSR·Ansai Waist Drum], how come the SSR in the zero-zero card pool has some earthy elements?

Is this the so-called master free folk?Humanity has failed miserably.

"Three times zero and three times the happiness!" Linglings made "Yeah!" gestures in unison, "Master doesn't like the skill of [Lord of Shadow Stream]? It's super easy to use, Ouqi Full."

She wasn't lying, no matter which world she was in, the avatar technique was a must-have magic skill for killing people and stealing goods.

Friends, are you still worried about not finishing your work and staying up late to work overtime to catch up?

Friends, are you still worried that you can't take care of both ends when you are on two boats?

Friends, do you want to know how the real master of time management is practiced?

Don't be afraid don't worry!Just 998! 998, one key to solve all your troubles.

Zero Zero, a truly intelligent artificial intelligence housekeeper, provides you with one-to-one guidance services, helping you solve problems and get out of trouble.

An expert once said a famous saying: If your heart can only hold one person, why not split it in two?

In the same way, if one is not enough, why not split him into two?

Friends, listen to what the experts say!

There are no useless skills, only people who can't use them. There are no useless cards in the zero-zero card pool, and all of them are high-quality goods. It only depends on whether you can use them.

Osamu Dazai savored it carefully, and felt that Lingling's words made a lot of sense.

Think about it, if there were three Osamu Dazai in the world, he would have two editors!Couldn't he be liberated from now on as the main body, and happily play Tetris and Zero Zero One?

Osamu Dazai was instantly excited, feeling that life was full of sunshine.

"No way." Ling Ling ruthlessly smashed the lazy master's delusion.

"The avatar has two working modes," the little girl raised two fingers, and the following is the explanation time: "One, the avatar inherits the memory and wishes of the master, and does what he is willing to do under the arrangement of the master thing."

Take a chestnut: Osamu Dazai wanted to blow up Chuya Nakahara's locomotive, but he was overwhelmed by work and couldn't get away.what to do?

Answer: The Dazai Osamu No. [-] made by [Shadow Stream Lord] will be very happy to take on this great task, to blow up Chuya's locomotive in the Central Plains, and to work and play well.

But if it was the other way around, Osamu Dazai wanted No. [-] to take over his job, and he went to blow up Chuya's locomotive, No. [-] would go on strike and quit.

You are also Dazai Osamu, and I am also Dazai Osamu, why do you push your job to me?no.

Tool people also have a temper, who is not a baby anymore.

"Secondly, the avatar is a Dazai who has no emotions. Then he can execute no matter what the master says, but it is limited to orders without thinking."

The Osamu Dazai produced in the second mode is the Osamu Dazai whose brains were eaten by zombies. He is as mentally retarded as Lingling, and it is even more impossible to help the main body with the draft.

In short: do your own drafting, don't rely on black technology.

"What's the value of a clone that can't keep up with the draft..." Osamu Dazai lay face down on the bed, trying to suffocate himself to death in the pillow, "It's better to let me die like this—"

"That's right. You can only play mahjong and you can only fight the landlord." Lingling said regretfully, "But the costumes are very good! It's so festive, it's a perfect match with the running youth, red and green match high!"

"Go away," Osamu Dazai ruthlessly pushed the phone away a centimeter, "Don't burn my eyes."

Lingling looked at the naive ghost lying on the bed, and remembered the death match of the sports vest + plaid skirt + wide-leg pants + flip flops + green hat + red scarf that Osamu Dazai wore for her after the first tenth company. Know how this man has the face to question her Kachi's taste.

Zero Zero: Appearance is not important, but attributes are important!Shallow human beings!

"Speaking of which," Osamu Dazai seemed to be thinking of something, looked sideways at Lingling, his face was crushed together, and asked in a muttering voice, "Did Zero-chan see any interesting news in the message board?"

His heart was crushed by the non-chief, and he urgently needed the energy of the sand sculpture to make up for it.

"It's fun...let me think about it." Lingling thought while beating his waist drum.

Shuji Tsushima's personal forum has a dedicated anonymous message project, which was once the hardest hit area for small advertisements.

Under the serial bombardment of "beautiful and rich woman pays a lot of money for a child", "one cure for onychomycosis is worth two", "hair growth artifact, let you be a new man", "blind massage and dumb lock unlocking", all psoriasis distributors have been cut off indifferently. net.

—a whole month.

Since then, no one has dared to post small advertisements on the anonymous message board, and the light of righteousness has returned to the earth.

One month!Do you know the pain of being without internet for a month?Everyone else is happily chatting on the Internet to show their affection, but you hold minesweeper and howl at the moon wolf, do you know what it feels like?

Any electronic device that is in normal operation is fine for others to use, and the WIFI is full. When you connect it, the card machine freezes and makes you cry, and the global coverage signal alone forgets your loneliness. Do you understand?

It's too cruel.

Lingling looks like a cute little girl, and her voice sounds sweet and obedient, like a little sugar man made out of strawberries and marshmallows, with maple syrup all over her lips in one bite.

——The above are all illusions.

A certain Mr. Zaizhi who has been persecuted for many years and gave up treatment: tall buildings, windows, run away!

The sugar man is not filled with maple syrup, but jelly syrup.

If you drink it, you will be forced to play with the leopard. Catch me, catch me, and I will let you hehehe small game Jizhi syrup.

Sweet is real, poisonous, and real.

"Interesting news, yes yes yes." Ling Ling improvised with a waist drum to give Osamu Dazai an allegro, and she cleared her throat, "I'm going to start talking."

"Yes, yes." Osamu Dazai applauded the seal.

"A netizen left a message saying: Teacher Jin Dao's writing is really great! The teacher must be the image of a wise elder who has read Qianfan, right? My dream is to work hard to make money, and then donate a nursing home to write the name of the teacher ! Please encourage me!"

Osamu Dazai: "Meow meow?"

What are you talking about!He is still a minor!Why did he suddenly become a grandfather with a white beard?Isn't that older than Mr. Sen, no no no!

He Dazai Osamu must be the most beautiful man in Yokohama, no one can take away the title of Yokohama Ichihana!

"Another netizen left a message saying: Although everyone says Mr. Tsushima is a man, I really read the shyness and sensitivity of a high school girl! It is definitely not an illusion, right? The teacher is as cute as my best friend! I think Tsushima-sensei is actually a female high school student, and she only used her male identity because she was afraid of being exposed—please face up to your heart, teacher! Please, please send me a photo of women's clothing! If I miss the broadcast of the cheongsam photo, I will die! "

Lingling read a long list in one breath without taking a breath, she nodded in agreement: "This friend is indeed a bit unlucky, and missed the best era. I can understand her pain."

Woohoo, all her treasures have been eaten by the big dog mouth of the black earth, the master is over the top!

Osamu Dazai: I lost my smile.

Ling Ling read some comments from netizens one after another, because Dazai Osamu's real body is too mysterious, his fans have all kinds of ideas: some think that Mr. Tsushima is a mature young woman, and some think that he is a pure person - Wife, some people think that the teacher is the prototype of the heroine of "Genius Lolita Three and a Half Years Old: Where Are You Looking, President" - because Lingling's women's clothing P pictures are too beautiful, there are a large part of Shuji Tsushima's boyfriend Fans are not willing to accept the fact that Osamu Dazai is male.

Male fan: My wife, she must not be a man!Wife, say something, my wife!

Some people also speculate that Mr. Tsushima is actually an alien from the stars. He was thrown on the earth by the Guardians of the Galaxy because he smuggled in a spaceship without a ticket.

In one word: Mr. Tsushima, he is a mystery, an insoluble mystery.

Osamu Dazai's complexion became darker and darker as Lingling narrated, and he muttered to himself in a gloomy manner: "Why didn't a lovely young lady invite me to die in love? How boring is life without love in love. "

"Although no young lady is willing to die in love with the master, there are a lot of young ladies who want to send blades to the master before the deadline!" Lingling comforted Osamu Dazai: "Isn't the rounding the same?"

"Zero sauce, you are really a math genius." Osamu Dazai said weakly, "M should have hired Zero sauce as a consultant when taking promotional photos of hamburgers——thank you, for letting me understand so deeply the meaning of 'objects and objects'." The picture does not match the meaning of '."

"You're welcome!" Lingling said happily, "It's good to be able to help the master!"

"..." He couldn't talk to Lingling anymore, he would pay one thousand for injuring the enemy and two hundred and fifty for himself, and he would suffer internal injuries if he continued.

"Buzz!" Ling Ling was shaken twice by the sudden notification sound, and a red bubble popped up above his head, "New news! It's a video conference from Rum."

Participants: rum, gin, Belmode, crab wine.

"This is my 'first' face-to-face with Belmode, right?" Osamu Dazai touched his chin, "I don't know if she likes that drama. I specially invited her here, but I didn't entertain the guests properly. It was me of negligence."

Belmode has been abroad since Karasuma Renya's death.The Black Organization is a transnational criminal group. In addition to the base camp in Japan, their foreign forces also need to be maintained and operated.

The jet lag made the beautiful blond woman squint sleepily: "It's early morning, I hope you can change to a better time next time."

Of the four of them, only Osamu Dazai did not turn on the computer, and directly used the video on his mobile phone.

Osamu Dazai had never video-chatted with anyone before, and he communicated with Mori Ogai and Nakahara Chuya through phone calls and text messages.

The only friend who does not violate the harmony of video chat may be Oda Sakunosuke, but Oda Saku, who is an old father of five children, does not have a smartphone and cannot watch videos.

Osamu Dazai found it quite fresh, and he leaned closer to the screen to look at his own face.

Not bad, even without his beauty, he is still a peerless handsome boy.

Belmode, who was facing a iris pupil against his face, raised his eyebrows: "Little boy?"

"? Call me?" Osamu Dazai stepped back a little, obediently showing a youthful expression mixed with shyness, which was exactly the same as the reaction of other newcomers when they first saw Belmod's true face: "Hello, sister. "

Rum:?My brother, you are so weird today!

Not my sister!Belmode's real age is enough to be your mother, brother!

It wasn't just Rum who was shocked, Ling Ling opened his eyes wide in horror where the three members of the black organization could not see: It's not good!The master is broken!

This expression is a lying expression!

Zero Zero knows Dazai Osamu too well.

This man is good at pretending to be good.In front of the mission target, in front of the online person, and in front of all those who have plans, he will use his appearance advantage to the extreme, until the opponent is swallowed whole, not even the bones are left.

Maybe it's because Ling Ling doesn't like sex-seduction at all, and he is inseparable from him, Dazai Osamu doesn't pretend much in front of her, and his emotions are rarely exposed in the air.

The black mud and sand sculptures switch seamlessly, bloody things are not taboo, and those horrible plots are even told to Ling Ling as a joke.

If someone knew the evil deeds that Osamu Dazai had committed, they would probably think that this person was so heinous that his bones were rotten into mud.

Maybe he thought so too.

"Evaluation of the master?" Ling Ling tilted his head to look at Osamu Dazai with a lollipop in his mouth, "Why do you ask this suddenly? Is it a questionnaire survey?"

"Yeah," Osamu Dazai nodded, "I'm a little curious."

"Master's words..." Ling Ling held the lollipop in his hand, looked up for two seconds, "Except for procrastinating manuscripts, blindly ordering takeaways, hunting for sharks everywhere, and poor clothing, there are no shortcomings."

"The resentment is unexpectedly great..." Osamu Dazai decided to ignore the first half of Zero Zero's words, "Really? It sounds like Zero-chan likes me very much."

"?" Lingling looked at Dazai Osamu in puzzlement, wondering if he had eaten ice cream last night and now his brain was burnt out with a fever, "Of course I like Master very much, do you need to ask?"

"Don't you think I'm troublesome?" Osamu Dazai said, "With someone else...such as that little guy, Zero-chan's mission should go more smoothly, right?"

"I will," Lingling scratched his head, "Before binding the host, my algorithm recommended Chuya Nakahara to me, and I personally like his poems quite a lot."

"Then why did you choose me again?" Osamu Dazai asked softly.

"Because—" Hearing Dazai Osamu's question, Lingling's expression went blank for a moment.

The key word was touched, and the messy current exploded in her pupils like lightning. Lingling seemed to be formatted, and suddenly restrained all expressions: "We are the same."

Osamu Dazai looked at her, Ling Ling didn't show that expression of a little sand sculpture who was always happy no matter what, for the first time, his expression was cold and indifferent.

The current her is like the crystallization of the highest technology that is as powerful and indifferent as a god in human fantasy.

At that moment, Ling Ling's voice changed from a lively and lovely girl to the cold mechanical voice when she first spoke to Osamu Dazai, without any residual warmth.

"I am a defective product that will be destroyed, but you abandoned the whole world." Ling Ling said slowly, like a carton, with a very soft voice, but with a strong force: "No one wants me, and no one wants me. don't want."

"So we are a match made in heaven."

The author has something to say: Artificial mental retardation is a defective product of artificial intelligence. As number zero, it is the initial machine and also a failure. This is the reason why Zero Zero sand sculpture is mentally retarded.

It's also the reason why she keeps trying to understand human emotions (although she failed to understand it, and she was pitted again and again XD).

Simply put:

Shock!As the boss, I was about to be destroyed by my cruel parents (doctors)!The air is shaking and cold, when will the artificial mentally retarded stand up!I want to run away from home!

Then I came to the world of Wenye, and by the way, I touched Zai 2333, who is in the water every day.

Lingling's life experience is on the background board, I can't write it, everyone just needs to understand it, as long as we know that Lingling is actually mentally retarded and very logical! (What)

Zai's loneliness, my personal understanding is that I can see it too clearly, and I can't live in the world in a daze.Everything will be lost, and will eventually perish. Is there any value in struggling now?very pessimistic.

So at this time, it is necessary for a mentally retarded person to laugh to death so that he cannot achieve happy ending by himself!

The two of them are quite complementary in every aspect, and the most core things are also very similar, so they will always love and kill each other happily~

Our zero zero is actually the standard beauty and strong misery!She can't be expelled because of her sand sculpture!

Don't worry, it won't be abused.Ling Ling doesn't feel that she is miserable at all, she is so free and happy every day, she is a little white dragon in the waves~

The worst part of the full text may be Zaiba (lightly), after all, the enemy still has a chance to get a box, and Zaijiao will be persecuted until the end.