[Comprehensive] I don't want it anymore

If a person's love and hate can fade, what kind of monster will he become?

This question, Sakuraya Rie is trying to answer.

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Sakuragani Rie, female, died suddenly of a heart attack, at the age...it doesn't matter.

She no longer remembers.

But underage is true.

The parents who once loved her refused to accept this fact anyway.They cried so hard that they wished they could replace them with their own bodies. In just a few days, they became terribly old.When she drifted to her home, the funeral was being held, so she saw that her parents' hair, which had been grayed a lot because of her illness, was completely gray now.

The girl tried to reach out and wipe away their tears.

Yet she encountered only icy air.

...So sad.

What made her feel the most uncomfortable was that she obviously felt sad—a heart-piercing sadness, but this feeling was quickly swallowed by an unknown black hole, which made her feel suddenly cold, so cold that she began to be afraid.

She knew why.

But......

Even if you want to deprive yourself of feelings——

Even if the feelings are to be deprived, can't her love and sorrow for her parents be left to her?

Obviously, as long as this is left to her, it will be fine.

Just a little bit.

[Don't show me this scene again. 】

After a while, she withdrew her hand with a light voice.

[This is a rule that in the first twenty worlds where the host performs the task, the relevant scenes must be repeated repeatedly during the intervals.The host is requested to consciously fulfill its due obligations. 】

A mechanical and cold voice sounded in my mind.

Her fingers trembled.

【Does this make any sense? 】

Because she has not yet adapted to [Fu Jiang], her life was very uncomfortable in the first few worlds.After finally surviving the survival period, and being tortured like this during the rest time, what kind of hatred and resentment are there?

She even wondered if the system wanted to change hosts.

[Please don't misunderstand the host, the regulations must be followed, and I have no right to refuse or change them.I hope that the host will stop doubting my idea of ​​abolishing the public due to personal interests as soon as possible, and it is the correct behavior to maintain a good attitude and continue to cooperate. 】

【...I see. 】

It's so official.

... Having said all of this, what else is there to talk about?

After hesitating for a long time, the brown-haired girl tried to kiss her mother's tears.

Even if I know I can't touch her, even if I know this is just an image repeated over and over again, even if... my feelings are constantly being robbed.But when she saw her mother's desperate and numb expression, cold tears still flowed down her eyelashes, across her face, and finally disappeared without a trace as invisible data.

The system watched all this silently.

How long has it been?

Sakuragani Rie did not calculate.

Until it suddenly sounded in the ear.

[Excessive mood swings, overloaded.According to the regulations, the number of replays of images needs to be moderately increased, and the host is requested to learn to control his emotions as soon as possible. 】

The girl just pretended that she didn't hear it.

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[Fu Jiang] is actually a very powerful ability.

In the system's evaluation list, this ability is classified as S-level.

——Of course there is no such thing as SS and SSS.

Perhaps for the fun of the game, in fact, there are no powerful and easy-to-use abilities in the system list.The abilities set at S level are all very complicated to use, with as many advantages as disadvantages, but if used properly, the host may even be able to conquer the world.

[Fu Jiang] is such an existence.

——Even if the host himself has no power to restrain the chicken.

Of course, the system will not tell her (in fact, all the precautions for this ability are all groped out by her).However, after Sakuraya Rie researched this ability, she still realized it.

conquer the world.

Sounds really good.

But why does she want to conquer the world?

The girl really couldn't figure it out, so she stopped thinking about it.

In just a few worlds, she has learned not to think too deeply about the problem.

...because it doesn't make sense.

Sakuragi Rie remembered the first world she experienced again.

Memories and emotions have been blurred, but she still remembers how she was in that world—curious, lively, and happy.Because of her previous heart disease, she couldn't do many things.So in a short healthy time, the girl tried everything once, and even considered whether to try to be a star.

That was probably when she smiled the most sincerely.

She almost forgot the existence of the system, her mission, and... this world does not belong to her.

Then she was taught to be a human by the system.

——The deeper the love, the crueler the forgetting.

No matter how much the system emphasized or reminded her, she still didn't understand what "leaving" meant until she experienced it for herself.And when she was forced to understand, it was too late.

When she was forced to leave the first world and was deprived of all emotions, for a moment, she really was about to resent the system.Even these unknown "creatures" keep her alive.

Only after experiencing it herself did she deeply realize what the word "passer-by" really stands for.

...how cruel.

Maybe there is really someone who can be so strong that he has no distractions, and who can be so cold that he can abandon all of this, but that person is not Rie Sakuragani, she can't do this, at least not now.

When the system selected her, did it know her character like this?

Or did they just enjoy her struggle and pain?

Late at night when she couldn't sleep, the girl tossed and turned between the quilts, and she thought of the TV series she had watched time and time again.The most exciting dramas all need a turning point. There may be simple cool movies, but they can't really hit the altar.

For them, Rie Sakuragi is such a pawn to show them TV dramas.

How ridiculous.

How ridiculous.

But she has no ability or reason to resist.

It was she who agreed to the system's conditions with her own mouth, and she chose to embark on such a life. The system did not coerce or lure, nor did any coercive behavior.Things have developed to this point, and the only one who can blame her is herself.

The girl smiled.

The way she smiles is really beautiful, that is a charm that no one can refuse.

But she looked at herself in the mirror.

Compared with her once, this smile is so strange and pale.

She is beautiful.

All that was left of her was this empty beauty.

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seventh world.

Because of [Fu Jiang]'s ability, Yinggu Lihui overturned five times, and each time she persisted until the survival period by various ways of losing her illness. Among them, Xiao Heiwu Shihui was physically disabled twice.

No.17 worlds.

Sakuraguli destroyed her own face three times, and then lived miserably in that world, and the scale of the overturned car was even larger.After the task was over, the system rarely extended the rest time to relieve her ptsd symptoms.

No.20 seven worlds.

——She can finally finish the "Tutorial for Beginners".

Obviously, she always hoped that the system would stop torturing herself, but when it really came to this moment, she was thinking again... Should she try to fluctuate her emotions so that she can see the appearance of her beloved relative again.

It's still the same hospital, or the familiar house.

She looked at the strange yet familiar faces of her parents, and even the dead girl became so strange that she seemed to be watching an actor with poor acting skills.She wanted to cry, but her mood was so calm, so calm that tears seemed to be a physiological instinct, not because she felt sad.

This was the last time she saw her parents.

From now on, this is forever.

The girl who has learned to control her emotions reaches out and touches her parents' faces tenderly, even though she can't touch them.She couldn't see her own appearance, so she didn't know that her eyes were so compassionate that it was like a god pitying mortals.

[I love you all. 】

[I'm sure, I still love you. 】

【But even I don't know whether this kind of love comes from my sincerity, or the only stubbornness and rebellion left in me.Yes, can't remember the face and name of the person you love, is this really love? 】

【...I don't want to do this, but I can't help it. 】

[I have worked very hard. 】

[I can't change anything. 】

These are the parents she once firmly believed that she would never forget, even their appearance will be blurred, and what will be left of her memory in the future.

Could she be considered a human like this?

...she doesn't know the answer.

Maybe no one can give her the answer.

The system is still silent.

Yes, there is no need, why does it talk?

They are purely transactional relationships.

Only.

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From this day on, the "Tutorial for Beginners" ends.

Sakuragi Rie's memories of the past were completely taken away.

According to the regulations, my previous appearance in memory was deleted, and the memories of my life were thrown into the trash can by the system, and the word "parents" became a simple definition.

——Only these memories are not blurred, but deleted.

She completely turned into a heartless monster.

She has no love, because her love was taken away by the system; she doesn't know what hate is, because too strong hatred will be swallowed up.She can like something, she can hate someone, but that's all.

...She can't cross the line, and crossing the line means she will have nothing.

In order to grasp this boundary, she suffered many times.

——It was so painful that even the system couldn't stand it.

[The host please pay attention, although the system should not pay attention to the psychological problems of the host, but I still hope that the host will not affect the state of completing the task. 】

【I will not.Haven't my tasks been completed well? 】

But—if she can't even keep the feelings of like and dislike, what is left for her?

A skin?

She doesn't want to become like that, she still wants to keep something that once belonged to "Sakura Valley Rie".

This is her last stubbornness.

She never gives up.

The author has something to say:

Most of the stories described above are about the early days, so the system looks very annoying ()

In fact, as the text says, this is a deal.From the perspective of the system, it is fair that they provide life to the host, and the host completes the corresponding "game".They don't understand why many hosts suddenly betray the original contract in the later stage.

Li Hui herself agreed to the deal and agreed to pay the relevant price. During the process, the system judged that there were no involuntary factors, so there was no room for her to go back on her word.

I don't know if this is a kind of progress or a kind of sadness.

Ahhh, in short, this chapter may be boring, but it is coming to an end, I hope everyone can stick to it.

There are two more chapters.