Rebirth Night Talk

At [-]:[-] p.m. on May [-], [-], Zhao Xuejun was carrying a half-worn military schoolbag and stared blankly at the garbage dump of the Municipal Hospital of Traditional Chinese Medicine.

Just a few minutes ago, Zhao Xuejun was standing on the balcony on the fourth floor and watching that person quietly with a telescope.He clearly remembered that behind him, pear soup was still stewed on the pot at home. In the past few days, the man had a big fire lump under his nose, and he felt a little distressed watching it.

Later, just like that, Song Changan stopped the car, comforted the people around him, and looked up at the balcony as usual.He trembled in fright, and that trembling brought him here.At five o'clock in the afternoon on May [-], [-], the trash can in the back street of Wanlin City Hospital.Zhao Xuejun stared blankly at the adults and children who were happily rummaging through garbage in front of them. The older ones were looking for unburned coal nuclei, while the younger ones were looking for all kinds of garbage, cigarette skins, matchboxes, and old books. iron block.

Stretching out his hand, the hand was not big but it was so black that the original color could not be seen. When he looked at the sleeves, he was immediately disgusted.Is that the snot from last year?The entire sleeve was glossy black and gleamed with a strange light.Unable to suppress the physical habit, two streams of yellow snot slipped from Zhao Xuejun's nose. The moment he approached his upper lip, he took a deep breath as he was used to, and then wanted to spit it out from his mouth... After that, he hesitated After a while, I still vomited out, and then lay down on the stone platform at the corner of the street and vomited again.

How did you ever live so dirty?That’s right, this is his own body, of course he recognizes it. The deep scratch on the tin box of canned lunch meat under the little nail of his left hand has been with him for more than 30 years.what is this called?Back for no reason?

Looking up at the street scene, the small town in the dream, the buildings are not as tall as in the dream, the roads are so narrow, and those buildings are even old-fashioned, full of gray colors from the past.

An old Jiefang truck with a trailer flew past an important street in the urban area, leaving behind a trail of fly ash, which made Zhao Xuejun sneezed. After many years, this kind of trailer was allowed to go around the city at most in the middle of the night. What a strange year, the old Jiefang cars are like Mercedes-Benz cars with arrogance, galloping on the avenue in the city center. At this time, the driver is an arrogance.

How weird? !A seven-year-old child with a 40-year-old soul lost in the streets of his hometown. Zhao Xuejun could not find his way home. Even in this city where he has lived for many years, he has no memory of his seven-year-old. , At most, I remember that on New Year's Eve in those years, there would be fifty cents under the pillow, and in the big stew pot at home, the pig skin and hair were stewed with pork.It's delicious and fragrant.

"Xuejun! Xuejun!" Someone beside him shouted his name with a hint of showing off.

Zhao Xuejun suddenly felt tears streaming down his face, no matter who he is, he knows himself.He doesn't know the name of this guy who is as dirty as himself.Human life is said to be short, but when you go back, you can find that you know a lot of people, and then you don't know them anymore as the years go by.

"Did you see it, did you see it? I'll just say you have a treasure." This thin-looking guy was dancing up and down with a piece of infusion hose.Zhao Xuejun knew this thing. When they were young, they didn’t know where they got it. They put a ballpoint pen refill with the balls removed on one end, and then filled the tap with water. This is a 70s. Everyone loves it. 15 Handmade water guns loved by teenagers.Sometimes it can also pretend to be a kettle.

The little guy played for a while, and seeing that Zhao Xuejun didn't answer, he felt bored. He thought for a while, opened a dirtier schoolbag, took out an iron shell pencil case that couldn't see the original color, and took out a black lacquer pencil case. Qi's blade generously cut off half of the rubber tube and gave it to Zhao Xuejun.

"Give!"

Want to say thank you?Zhao Xuejun held the half of the rubber tube, his mind was in a daze, and he was led by the little skinny man to a familiar direction.Then, it got darker and darker...

Zhao Xuejun's family used to live in Houying, known as the Municipal Party Committee Courtyard. The house was a brick cave dwelling built by the Municipal Real Estate Bureau.It was the best house in the city in that year.

Zhao Xuejun's father, Zhao Jianguo, was demobilized from the army and could have stayed in Beijing, where the army was stationed, but Zhao Xuejun's grandmother had quarreled with Zhao Jianguo many times because of this matter.There was really no way, Zhao Jianguo returned to Wanlin City with his wife and three children, and this was the closest place Zhao Jianguo was to his old mother.

Zhao Xuejun's mother, Gao Juzi, works in the Municipal Federation of Trade Unions. She is not a cadre, but a worker.At that time, the elder brother of the worker earned much more than the cadres, so Gao Juzi, who had been with the army, was assigned to the Federation of Trade Unions. For the sake of the status of the worker, it is said that he also made some small backdoors back then.

Zhao Xuejun was brought home by his little friend, that guy is Xu Butang, and in the years to come, he will become the vice president of the Procuratorate in this small town.With the status and the occurrence of that incident, the relationship between Zhao Xuejun and this childhood friend will collapse in the first year of junior high school, and then there will be no intersection.

Zhao Xuejun sat on the stone pier at the gate of his house, and sat blankly for a long time. He didn't have the key to the house, he had it before, and lost it.Later, his eldest brother Zhao Xuewen and second brother Zhao Xuebing returned home one after another and sat together on the stone pier in front of the house. The same was true for these people. They had lost their keys to the house.When Comrade Zhao Jianguo got angry, he simply refused to allow them to bring the keys, so whether it was windy or snowing, the three bald guys of the Zhao family sat together at the door of the house and waited for their parents to come home before they could enter. It wasn't until the team returned home that they changed their minds, and the children of the Zhao family never lost their keys again.Never heard of the lost key until the death.

Zhao Xuejun looked at his brother Zhao Xuewen's butt, and wanted to kick him.

It's so cute, with a runny nose, his brother who is three years older than him, lying on the stone pier doing his homework, is so cute.Why didn't he find this guy so cute before?Wearing a little green military uniform that has been washed white, the sleeves are no less greasy than him. While writing, he sniffs his nose and hums a strange tune, occasionally glances at himself, and then hums proudly.This pig looks down on himself.He looked down on himself since he was a child, and Zhao Xuejun, who was at the bottom of his class, had always been looked down upon by his family and all his relatives. In those days, poor study meant bad moral character, bad moral character, and of course not popular.Zhao Xuewen was cute at that time, with the two stripes on his sleeves, the main players of the school team, and many coaches from the Municipal Sports Committee went to the school to poach corners, and in the end they did succeed in poaching corners, which also harmed Zhao Xuewen's life. At the age of 26, Zhao Xuewen returned to Wanlin City from the provincial sports team. Weighing less than fifty catties, he couldn't stretch his body, because he was bent over there.

For no reason, Zhao Xuejun suddenly felt sore in his stomach, and tears fell down.The second brother Zhao Xuebing, who was also doing homework beside him, was taken aback, and immediately defended himself, exposing his mouth without front teeth and shouting: "I didn't do anything to him?!" The eldest brother Zhao Xuewen turned his head without saying a word and kicked Zhao Xuebing's ass , Therefore, Zhao Xuejun looked at this little fat man who had bullied him all his life, grinning and howling with his mouth without front teeth, feeling extremely relieved.

My family is just a small corner of this country, and ordinary people cannot be in ordinary people's homes.The father of a cadre who was transferred from the army was a deputy bureau-level cadre until he died. Because of his inclinations, the old man left before he was 60 years old.Then my mother became a worker because of a salary of ten yuan, and then she was laid off. She asked her father for money all her life. If she had no money, she would have no family status. The two daughter-in-laws of the family don't know how to respect this woman who has dedicated her whole life to the family.Before coming here, Zhao Xuejun hadn't seen his mother for four months. The last time he saw her, she was cooking for Zhao Xuebing's family.He was timid, and his mother was also timid and didn't ask him to come in, but just said to him through the anti-theft door: "Go quickly, don't let your second sister-in-law see."

When he walked away, he turned his head, but saw his mother watching from the balcony far away, and saw that he couldn't see the balcony when he turned his head.He knew Mom was still there.Will stay for a long time, will cry quietly at night, still nothing can be done.

At seven o'clock in the evening, Zhao Jianguo came home. He first stopped his broken bicycle, looked at the three bald sons huddled together in front of the house, and said angrily, "Where's your mother?! Didn't come back? !"

"Mom works overtime, she said there is overtime pay." Zhao Xuejun raised his head and explained for his mother.

Zhao Jianguo glanced at his son strangely. How can this child speak Mandarin?

Opening the door, the three brothers walked into the yard slowly, stood in the middle of the small backyard, put their schoolbags aside and waited obediently.Zhao Jianguo entered the room, and not long after, he came out with an old towel and patted his sons vigorously.Suddenly, a burst of dust bounced off the naughty child layer by layer.

"Bastards, did you go to school or go to dig coal? The coal diggers come out of the coal mine and know to take a shower before returning home. Look at the ashes on this body. Whoever repairs the house in the future does not need to buy ashes. A pat is enough to build a building..."

Seeing that, one by one, the father's big towel finally fell on Zhao Xuejun's body, "Snap!" At that moment, it hurt like a dream, Zhao Xuejun cried again, and tears flowed out silently. drip.

Dad, since you left, no one in this world can beat me, scold me, and scold me like you.Dad, since you left, no one has been able to wait for me to come home in the middle of the night like you. Since Dad, since you left, no one is afraid that I will be hungry, cold and unattended.dad!You don't even know how much I miss you...

Zhao Jianguo's waist was suddenly embraced by the old son, and the child's strength almost strangled him.

"What's wrong? San'er? Who bullied you?"

The child was crying, crying as if he had been greatly wronged, and Zhao Jianguo's liver was about to be torn from crying.Zhao Jianguo turned around, picked up his youngest son, coaxed him, and checked whether his hands were heavy.

"Ah!!!!!!!!!" Zhao Xuejun cried heart-piercingly...

Zhao Xuejun came back for no reason, but he also had no worries. He had been quietly following Song Changan since the third year of junior high school, being the person behind him.He doesn't know whether Song Changan loves him or not. Anyway, every time he quarrels, he remembers that they all yell... In the next life, I never want to know you again.

On May [-], [-], Zhao Xuejun was reborn. That afternoon, he stared blankly at this familiar yet unfamiliar world like a stupid bird. He saw that all the houses in his hometown were a bit shorter. When he arrived at the dead eldest brother, he saw the mean second brother changing his front teeth, and he saw the mother who had worked hard all her life with black hair and neat braids.She made hand-rolled noodles, a whistle made with eggs, and everyone in the family had eggs in their bowls.He saw his father again, his drooping bags under the eyes were gone, his eyes were extremely sharp, and when he changed his pants, the belt buckle on the belt with the keys jingled.Of course he remembered that belt. In the past, it kissed his skin every day, and three meals a day were provided according to meal times, and it never stopped before the third day of junior high school.