[Twilight] Bright sunshine

He opened the door and rushed into the bathroom to take a shower and brush his teeth.I carefully folded the clothes I wore from Karen's house and put them aside, intending to wash them and return them.Return the underwear, too, although it's embarrassing.

I took out my loose old T-shirt and put it on as pajamas, and put on a pair of shorts before I ran upstairs and rushed into the bedroom.Regardless of his long wet hair, he lifted the quilt that was not folded in the morning, got in, covered himself with the quilt, and fell asleep.

I fell asleep in a daze, and woke up in a daze, with a splitting headache. I grabbed my hair and found that it was still damp.Outside the window is rain and night.

I didn't turn off the light, and the round clock on the wall pointed to two o'clock in the morning.Except for insomnia, my biological clock never wakes me up at this time.My mind went blank and I couldn't remember why I woke up so early.

His face was wet, and his face was full of water.I stared blankly at the wet hands, only to realize that they were all tears.Then he wiped the corners of his eyes, and the tears fell even more fiercely.I finally couldn't control myself, hugged my knees tightly with both hands, buried my head in it, and cried without any sound.

I was frightened and trembled uncontrollably.It seems that everything is going in a good direction, whether it is vampires, Twilight, movies and novels, the Cullens or the damn bastards who have been told a bunch of secrets, none of them are life-threatening.I think even if I go to school tomorrow, the Cullens will just pretend they don't know me.I'm still Claire, the loner, the American girl who lives a very free life.

Those nonhumans have nothing to do with me, anywhere.

I tried my best to convince myself that it doesn't matter, no one can disturb my life, and I can always work hard to live.It's just a small setback, they're good non-humans, and they never hurt me.

I cried and cried, why did I act like a poor raped|raped bastard.I swallowed with difficulty, trying to swallow my turbulent tears.I found it hard, very hard, and my body didn't listen to me.

In the dark night and the cold rainy day, it reminded me of the scene in my previous life when I was alone in a cheap hospital bed, facing the pain alone.Afraid of frightening the patient next door by crying, I swallowed all the broken sounds to the position of my heart, and the pain often rolled in my chest.

Even if I become Claire, I'm still that cowardly fool who can't do anything.I dare not cry out loud, and because of the trivial things that all parties feel, I am so scared that I want to suffocate.

I told myself to just cry for 10 minutes, and if I cried too much, my eyes would be swollen and ugly tomorrow.I was already dead white like a ghost from long-term lack of exposure to sunlight, and if my eyes were destroyed, I would be more inhuman than the Cullens.But within 10 minutes, I put my hands on my throat, trying to calm down my hysterical emotions, as if no one had helped me in the past.I can calm down by myself, I'm that sure.

I was walking around in my room while crying. I touched various CDs and books on the table, awkwardly picked up the photo frame of Emma's family of three, and wiped it with my sleeve.The tears and the flooding of the Amazon never stop.

I feel so angry that I really want to gouge out my eyeballs and make you cry and cry.

I found that at times like this, I had nothing to do but continue to circle helplessly, stepping on the cold floor and imagining that I would soon fall asleep.Finally, after going around many times, I remembered that there was one thing I hadn't done.

I should write back to C, yes, it's polite.

Deciding what I should do, I hurried to the desk and opened the cabinet, took out a pen and letter paper with a four-leaf clover pattern, and then climbed under the quilt again.I reached out and pulled the pillow over and put it under my elbow. There was a book of La Traviata under the pillow. I put a stack of letter paper on it, lay on my stomach and bit the end of the pen, organizing my words to reply to the oldest pen pal.

He doesn't have a bad temper at all, ha, his tongue is poisonous and capricious.Such a person must have a wonderful family, that's why he is so spoiled.

I shivered and wrote on the white letter paper, dear C: "The weather in Fox is still the same recently. In this wettest town in the United States, the sunshine seems to have become a beautiful legend. Although I like rainy days very much, but occasionally In fine weather, the sun is shining on the tall cedar trees of Fox, and shining bright prisms on the snow-covered peaks of the mountains. The scene is like a beautiful scene in a dream.

"Although that means I have to wear thick clothes, apply special medicated sunscreen all over my body, and use my hundreds of yuan UV umbrella to go out.

"I also like the Beatles album you gave me very much. Summer is coming soon, and I decided to buy you a sunshade that can resist ultraviolet rays. I know you don't like sunny weather. Don't dislike my gift, you It's not like you swipe your card without a frown knowing that I've never had a few bucks in my pocket. A good umbrella will keep my lunch bill down again, and I'll probably be stuck with an apple for lunch for a long time.

"Sometimes the weight of a gift is not how much it is, but how much money is in the pocket of the guy who gives it. I know you must be laughing at my poverty again, but if being poor is a sin, then you are surrounded by sinners Yes, all the prisons in this world will be overwhelmed.

"Oh, by the way, stop mocking your family to me in a showy tone, whether it is A who likes to adopt orphans and is kind, or M who is healthy and eats a lot, they are all your family. You know, they can feed How successful my own family is. You are a well-deserved successful person. I can hardly even support myself. I am not as good as you in this regard.

"It's great to have a family, I only have Charlie. Charlie also has Bella and Renee. Although Renee has left him for a long time, Charlie still regards her as his family.

"I think that when I can work hard to be the most successful in the future, I can support myself, retired Charlie, and Bella. Charlie loves Bella so much. I have to make sure that in the future Bella loses her job or something, and I can support her for Charlie. .But I have to work hard to graduate and go to college."

……

As I write this, I can't help but have a sore nose, and new tears are pouring out of my eyes that were about to stop crying.God, can you stop making me cry.

I don't want my life to be like Fox's rain, with three hundred days of tears streaming down my face every year.

But I'm starting to feel depressed now. With my solitary character who doesn't fit in with American society, how can I find a good job and save a lot of money for Charlie's retirement.Although he has a pension, my greatest hope is that he doesn't have to spend his own money, because I will give him a pension.

Reaching out to wipe away the tears, I continued to write... "Today is a wonderful day. Our school has transfer students. They are so beautiful and make people feel inferior. But they are very nice and polite. I think I am like them. There is no intersection. Although their father sent me home, I hope he will not be frightened by my ugly face."

……

The pen stopped, I felt like I was lying, and I couldn't write any more.

I am afraid that my fear will be expressed on the pen, and even my friends in Italy will see my cowardice.But this feeling of fear is so deep, like a huge forest swamp, I'm stuck in it and can't find anyone to talk to.

In the end, I couldn't help it, and wrote in trembling handwriting at the end of the letter: "C, I'm a little scared, I don't understand this world anymore. When I thought I had accepted everything, when I had enough courage to accept me Living alone, the second I stood up again, I was knocked down again. I didn't understand how it all happened, and I was afraid that if I closed my eyes, I would find that I was living in a dream."

……

I stopped all movement and stared blankly at the yellow stained wall in front of me, only now did I truly understand my fear.

It wasn't vampires that I was afraid of, nor the pain that they would hurt me in the first place.

What I'm most afraid of is that I can't be sure. When the Karen family appears in my life, how can I be sure that I am not a vegetable, and this place is just my dream.

The Twilight Saga is a fiction, and even my rebirth is beyond the comprehension of any scientist. All of this is so miraculous that I am baffled.

How terrified I opened my eyes again, still in that cramped hospital full of disgusting disinfectant smell, no one loved me.I waited so desperately and painfully for my own death that everyone gave up on me, and no matter how far I stretched out my hand, I couldn't reach the light of hope.

Instead of continuing to write, I buried my head in the soft pillow and held back for a long time.It was a long time, so long that I thought I was dead, a corpse.Like in the forest outside the door, a huge fir lay dead sideways on the dark wet land, and all kinds of moss and leaves covered its body.I suddenly jumped up and sat up from the bed, exhaled a long breath, and felt better after inhaling enough fresh oxygen.

I almost killed myself.

It's good that I'm alive.Even dead trees can bear seeds and grow big trees again.My tears finally stopped, I picked up the pen and wrote the end of the letter-"It's just a dream, such a wonderful dream is worth my effort to pursue. C, please bless me, and also wish you happiness, I will give you My friend who bought the parasol - Claire. Finally, can you give me a list of survivors of the Titanic wreck, you like all kinds of lists so much, I know you have one."

He took the letter in his hand, put on a jacket, opened the bedroom door and ran downstairs with bare feet.Downstairs is my study, I rushed in and took out the envelope from the box on the bookshelf, stuffed it in, and put a stamp on it.After I finished, all my strength was lost, and I sat down heavily on the rocking chair in the study, looking at the ceiling without feeling sleepy.

I was so excited, accompanied by self-pity and self-pity sadness that didn't go away.I was sure that I was suffering from insomnia, so I took out the album given by C from my schoolbag, opened it and put it into the computer to connect it to the speaker.

Then I sat on the floor, hugged my knees, raised my head and stared at the ceiling like a fool.

The music in the album is in my ears, lively, tearing, and the Beatles angels shaking their heads are always chanting, herecomesthesun, herecomesthesun... the sun is out, the sun is out.

andisay, it's all right... I said, everything is fine.

Yes, who knows if the sun will shine tomorrow, but all is well, everyone.

I shook my head and followed the rhythm and shouted: "sun, sun, sun... the sun is coming out."

When the morning sun shines through the window, the soft and hazy pale green is so clear, I think a new day has come.Climb to the window, open the window, and the moist air rushes in with the smell of the forest.

I can feel the almost painful burn as the sun lightly covers my skin.

Before it really burned me, I turned my back and stretched out my hands and yelled, "Claire, you have to work hard on your life, you have at least [-] days left in your life."

I am not a different, non-human being with a special identity.

I don't have an eternal life, even if I can't walk into the sun, I still have my own sunshine.