Offer him a belated lily

I explained everything, and I told the police that I stabbed Zheng Shan on purpose.

I was temporarily detained, I did not seek a lawyer, and I did not intend to defend myself.

The night was very quiet, and I curled up in the corner with my arms folded.I have thought about many futures, and this outcome is one that I have never considered.In fact, if you think about it carefully, my life is enough.

When I was young, I met Zhang Qinghe.When I was most frustrated, I met Zhang Yan.My life is much better than others. I can enjoy luxury cars and villas since I was born, and I have all kinds of beauties.I should be satisfied, even if my life ends here, I won't be too sad.

In the past few days in the detention center, I ate, drank and drank very comfortably.I know that I will only have a good life these few days, and when the Zheng family makes a move, my life will be over.

On a peaceful day, I was sitting on the bed in a daze as usual, when a policeman came and told me that I would be sent to another place.

I followed him to go through the formalities, and they told me that I had been identified as having a mental illness, and now I was going to be sent to a mental nursing home.During the time when Qinghe passed away, I really suffered from insomnia all day long, and I was in a trance. I had been to a psychiatrist for a long time, and I had to rely on sleeping pills to fall asleep in the past few years.

I'm a bit confused about how the Zheng family plans to deal with me. Sending me to prison would torture me even more, but now the Zheng family plans to fish me out.

A young policeman saw me going out like this, and was a little annoyed, "It's good to have power and power, and you can escape punishment even if you committed a crime! I said, do you rich people like to pretend to be mentally ill!"

"Pay attention to your own identity!" An old policeman interrupted the young policeman in time.

"Hahahahaha..." I couldn't help laughing.

"What are you laughing at? Are you really sick?" the little policeman asked suspiciously.

"Yeah... I have an incurable disease, and sometimes living is more uncomfortable than dying." I moved my body a bit, but I didn't exercise for a few days after being locked up, and my body was a little numb.

I got into the car leisurely and was sent to a mental nursing home.

It was only after I entered the nursing home that I understood the intentions of the Zheng family.In any case, I'm Zheng Shan's cousin who is related to the Zheng family. Rather than letting me be a prisoner in prison, it's better to declare to the outside world that I'm mentally abnormal.

I was pushed into a room, the whole room was empty without any decorations.They locked me in and ignored me. They didn't have any food or water.

The weather is transitioning from late autumn to early winter, and the temperature is gradually decreasing.I was only wearing a thin hospital gown, and the sun was still relatively warm during the day, but at night, the cold clung to me like tarsal maggots.

I hadn't had a drop of water for three days, and I was so dazed that I could only lie motionless on the ground.Someone came in and dragged me up from the ground. They took out the needle and didn't know what to inject me. I had no strength to resist and could only let them inject some unknown drugs into my body.

I was too hungry to eat, so they kept me alive with fluids.

After they left, I lay on the ground again, and I tried to make a fist, feeling that I had regained some strength.

I don't know if the medicine they gave me had an effect. My whole body began to twitch uncontrollably.My eyes were black for a while, and I felt a little nauseous.

I started having hallucinations, if it wasn't for hallucinations, how could I see Qinghe again?

He stood in front of me again, not the gentle and clear look I remembered.He was cold, his skin was swollen, and he stared at me fiercely, "An Jiarui, why are you still alive? You should have died a long time ago, didn't you say you love me? Then why don't you go to hell with me! An Jia Ray, I want you dead! I want you dead!"

"Qinghe..." I didn't even have the strength to raise my arms, my whole body hurt like my soul was being pulled away.

Enduring the pain, I wanted to explain to Qinghe, "I love you, Qinghe...you believe me, I have never forgotten you for a single moment."

How Qinghe answered me in the end, I can't remember, I can only remember the way he looked at me, there was no love in it, it was all hatred that wanted to crush me.

It was dawn when I regained consciousness, I don't know how long I slept, I don't even know how long I was locked up.

The drug those people were injecting me was supposed to be a hallucinogen, which would not only physically damage me, but also cause me a mental breakdown.The Zheng family wanted to turn me into a real lunatic and make my life worse than death.

I was injected with drugs several times in succession, and each time became more painful and unbearable.

I would see Qinghe every day and listen to his resentment towards me.

I kept comforting myself, it was fake, the real Qinghe would not say these words to me, the real Qinghe loves me, he hopes that I can live well, and that I can get happiness.

In the last few days, I can't concentrate at all, and I feel in a trance all day long.I don't want to be crazy because it makes me forget a lot of things.I can't forget Qinghe, and I don't want to forget Zhang Yan either.

I knew they would come and give me an injection every day before sundown, and after this injection, I didn't know if I would be able to stay awake.So, I want to wrap things up before they come.

After they saw that I had no ability to act, they relaxed a lot about me.This gave me a chance, and one time when they were feeding me water, I broke the glass on purpose.They were very angry, kicked me a few times, and asked me to hide a piece of broken glass.

I've been sharpening this piece of broken glass since I was awake, and now it's so sharp I don't think it's going to take much effort to slice through my skin.

I stretched out my wrist and aimed the glass at the veins on it.Without hesitation, I used all the strength left in my body to stroke down hard.The glass is really sharp and can easily cut through an artery.

Blood gushed out like money. I tasted it, and it smelled of rust and was very warm.In the end, it was my own blood that could warm me.

I could feel my body slowly getting cold and my life draining away.It doesn't feel good, it's helpless and lonely.But it doesn't matter to me at all, I'm even a little glad that my life is complete, and I haven't forgotten any important people and things.It's a hundred times better than being a lunatic, at least it's my own choice.

My consciousness gradually drifted away from me, I seemed to hear a burst of noisy footsteps, I seemed to see a person running towards me quickly, but at this moment I was unable to meet him.

Smelling a smell of disinfectant, I opened my eyes, and the surrounding scene changed from blurred to clear.

"You finally woke up!" Liang Rongchen's face was full of exhaustion and worry.

"Hiss—" There was a tingling pain in his wrist, which was covered with a thick layer of gauze.

"The doctor said that your wound was cut deeply. If I'm one step late, you will be completely hopeless!" When Liang Rongchen arrived, An Jiarui fell into a pool of blood, and fell asleep quietly like that. Now thinking of that scene , Liang Rongchen felt lingering fear.

"So, I'm still alive." My body is too weak, and I can't even speak. "How can the Zheng family let me go? I hurt Zheng Shan, even you can't take me out easily."

"Yes, I want to save you, but I really can't shake the Zheng family in a short time." Liang Rongchen didn't know how to speak the rest of the words. He was afraid of irritating An Jiarui, so he could only say cautiously, "Actually, I won't talk about you." I can also guess who it is, except Zheng Shan, no one can let the Zheng family let you go so quickly. The first thing Zheng Shan does when he wakes up is to ask the Zheng family where you are. As soon as I receive a call from Zheng Shan, I will look for you , fortunately I didn't come late."

"Is my cousin okay?" I knew that the knife avoided all the vital points, but I still couldn't help worrying.

"Zheng Shan is fine, the knife didn't hit the vitals, but he lost too much blood. When I heard you stabbed Zheng Shan, I was shocked. I don't know how you guys got into this situation." Liang Rongchen tried to persuade me." Zheng Shan is really good to you. When he was a child, he talked to me and Zhou Shiliang all day long, saying that his greatest luck was to have such a lovely brother like you. At that time, Zhou Shiliang and I were so envious! Miss some things, but you can't erase his feelings for you."

"I'm dissatisfied with Zheng Shan, and I once doubted his feelings for me. He did a lot of things that I can't forgive, but I never thought of hurting him. It's just...he refused to let Zhang Yan go, I can't help it..." I was incoherent and a little excited.

"I understand! Don't get too excited!" Liang Rongchen was a little scared by me, and he hurriedly comforted me.

I slowly calmed down and sorted out my words, "I feel guilty for hurting Zheng Shan. I can feel that he really treats me as a family member. I plan to pay him with my life! Whether it is Zheng Shan or Zhang Yan, I feel guilty. I don’t want to hurt, there is no perfect way in this world, I can only choose the less bad one.”

"My life is such a failure..." I was a little frustrated.

"Jiarui, no one can live this life without regrets. We are all human beings for the first time, and we will definitely make mistakes." Liang Rongchen held my uninjured hand, his hand was warm and tolerant, "You didn't escape Mistakes, but try to make up for it, although you can’t be forgiven, but at least you know how to atone. We have no way to change the past, we can only move forward with this regret and guilt.”

"Zheng Shan asked me to bring you a sentence. He said, he let Zhang Yan go and let you be free." Liang Rongchen observed my expression, and felt relieved when he saw that I didn't have much reaction.

I've waited a long time for this sentence, for all the pain I've endured is nothing.

After thinking about it, I decided to ask Liang Rongchen to help me bring a sentence to Zheng Shan, "Brother Liang, help me tell my cousin that I will always be his younger brother."

It feels much easier to say it, Zheng Shan owes many people, but he never owed me.

"I will tell Zheng Shan." Liang Rongchen was very relieved to see that I could let go of the past. "The doctor said that you can be discharged from the hospital the day after tomorrow. The wound should go to the hospital every week for dressing changes. Before it heals, you can't get wet."

"Well, I will pay attention to these, I am not a child." I am a little funny, Liang Rongchen is really like my mother sometimes, he can remember to tell me some things that I don't care about.

Looking at my expression, Liang Rongchen could guess what I was thinking, "Are you slandering me again, thinking I'm long-winded?"

"No, brother Liang cares about me, I'm too happy!" I said this from my heart.

"Jia Rui, what are your plans for the future? Do you want to find Zhang Yan?" Liang Rongchen asked me seriously.

I can also be regarded as a person who has passed through the gates of hell. I know that there are some things that I can’t force. "I won’t go to Zhang Yan, and he probably doesn’t want to see me. start."

"Okay, as long as you can live a good life, you can go anywhere. I thank God for allowing me to arrive in time, and thank him for not taking you away..." Liang Rongchen's eyes were full of tears, and he rubbed his eyes with his fingers "Jia Ray, I hope you can live the life you want to live, I hope you can be happy."

I can feel Liang Rongchen's joy at this moment, he sincerely thanked me for being alive.

I pretended not to see Liang Rongchen wiping his tears, "Brother Liang, I hate parting, so can you not see me off when I leave?"

"Okay, I won't send you off. But remember, when you settle down, you must notify me." Liang Rongchen agreed very readily, because he didn't want to see me leave with his own eyes.

On the day I was discharged from the hospital, it was sunny and sunny, and I walked out of the hospital gate with a few changes of clothes.The sun was a little harsh, and my eyes narrowed slightly.A figure appeared in my line of sight, I thought I was wrong, rubbed my eyes, the figure was still there.

I always feel that the sun is too strong, and it makes me hallucinate.

Even if it was an illusion, I still walked towards him step by step.After walking to him and confirming that he is real, I dared to call out his name "Zhang Yan."

☆, end chapter

I never thought that I would see Zhang Yan again, and I seemed a little embarrassed.There are many things I want to say to him, and I want to tell him that I love him and want to be with him forever.I understand that these are all extravagant hopes. If he is willing to come to see me, I should be satisfied. People can't ask for too much.

I thought a lot in my mind, but what I said was just the most common polite words, "How are you doing?"

"What can I do wrong? It's you..." Zhang Yan's eyes flashed with distress, "Have you ever looked in the mirror, you are as thin as a skeleton now."

"Scared you." I stretched out my hand to touch my thin cheeks, and smiled embarrassedly, "I haven't eaten much recently, and I will become white and fat after I raise it for a while."

"An Jiarui, do you have anything to say to me?" Zhang Yan wanted to give An Jiarui a chance, and also give himself a chance.

"Yes, I want to say... Zheng Shan won't bother you anymore, and you don't want to provoke him anymore. I have no way to protect you now. No one will disturb you. Live a good life and take care. I I'm leaving, and I may not meet again in the future, so can you smile at me once. I've known you for so long, but you haven't smiled at me much..." I won't extravagantly ask for Zhang Yan's feelings, I just want to remember Zhang Yan's smile.

"An Jiarui... What kind of request are you asking?" Zhang Yan said with disgust, but still showed me a bright smile.

That's great, Zhang Yan's smile is different from Qinghe's, Qinghe's smile is like a clear and pure lily, while Zhang Yan's smile is shining like the sun.I think I will remember this smile for a lifetime, enough for me to get through the cold nights in the future.

"Thank you." This is the best parting gift I've ever been given.

"An Jiarui, I want to ask you something." Standing in front of me, Zhang Yan brushed my eyebrows with his hand.

"I can give you whatever you want." As long as Zhang Yan opens his mouth, I can give everything, even this life.

"I want you." Zhang Yan seemed to be afraid that I didn't hear clearly, so he repeated again, "An Jiarui, I said I want you."

"Want me?" My eyes widened in surprise.

"Yes! I want you!" Zhang Yan pulled me into his arms, "Stay with me."

I hugged Zhang Yan tightly, I was afraid that Zhang Yan would disappear as soon as I let go, I was afraid that I was dreaming "Zhang Yan, tell me, it's true! Tell me you really want to be with me! "

Zhang Yan didn't answer me, he directly proved it with his actions, he kissed me, and I responded gently.

After he let go of me, he became a little shy, his eyes drifted and he refused to look at me, I thought it was funny, and couldn't help teasing him, "It's useless for you to regret it now, anyway, I'm relying on you!"

"I don't want to go back on my word, but you look so sick, no one can take a liking to you except me." Zhang Yan never forgot to diss my skinny figure.

"I want to take you somewhere today." Zhang Yan put away his joking look.

I can vaguely guess where Zhang Yan wants to take me. "Before I go, I want to buy a bunch of flowers."

Zhang Yan and I found a flower shop, and I went in to choose a bunch of fresh lilies.

When I came to the cemetery, I felt very anxious, and my pace gradually slowed down, falling behind Zhang Yan.For so many years, I have never seen Zhang Qinghe once. I am afraid to see him, very afraid.

Zhang Yan knew my fear and anxiety, so he stopped and took my hand.

Zhang Yan's palm is generous, with the power to calm people's hearts, allowing me to let go of my worries and face Qinghe calmly.

Standing in front of Zhang Qinghe's tomb, looking at the photo on the tombstone.He smiled so innocently, so young.This is the boy I love, his time will always stop at that moment.The teenager I love will never grow up and grow old, and will always be so beautiful.

"I'm sorry Qinghe, I didn't have the courage to come to see you until today." I put the bouquet of lilies in front of his grave.

Scenes of the past flashed, from the first time I saw Qinghe to the last time, all I remembered was his smile.My body trembled uncontrollably, and all the pain, regret and guilt came to my heart, "Qinghe, I miss you so much. I want to find you, but I don't know where to find you. I want to go back in time countless times, but there is no way, we I can't go back, neither you nor I can go back..."

I was so distressed that I couldn't stand still, Zhang Yan stood behind me in time and supported my shoulders, "You are not in good health, don't get too excited."

I leaned on Zhang Yan and continued, "I once had a dream. In the dream, Qinghe told me that he would love me forever. He said that he could not accompany me in this life, and asked me to find someone who loves me to spend my life. .He also asked me to find him in my next life, and he will definitely follow me.”

"That's why I will be by your side, and I will guard you for the rest of my life." Zhang Yan tilted his head and secretly wiped away tears, "Qinghe loves you very much, I think he can't bear to hate you."

"What about you? How did you know the relationship between Qinghe and me?" I asked the doubts that had been hidden in my heart.

"When I was packing up Qinghe's belongings, I found a diary. There were many portraits of you drawn in that diary, including you playing basketball, attending classes, being in a daze, and sleeping. Every day of Qinghe revolves around you, all of you Little habit, he knows what you like to eat. Before you notice that he is in love with him, he already has a deep-rooted love for you." Zhang Yan smiled self-deprecatingly, "I, follow this diary, feel Looking at your joys, sorrows, sorrows, and joys, I gradually become addicted, and I fall asleep looking at your portrait almost every day."

Zhang Yan slowly opened his heart, wanting to tell An Jiarui his truest feelings, "Later, when I faced my girlfriend who had been with me for many years, what I thought of was your face. I knew I was done, I fell in love with someone I had never seen before. This person may be the murderer who killed Qinghe, but I just can't control myself!"

"The first time I saw you, I have loved you for a long time." Zhang Yan turned my body and faced me "I have been avoiding, I feel sorry for Qinghe, I fell in love with his boyfriend, loved His murderer. I sometimes feel jealous of Qinghe because you love him more than me."

I kissed Zhang Yan's cheek affectionately, I didn't know what he said, I always felt that I was the only one giving affection, it turned out that Zhang Yan had loved me for many years.

"I have something to say to Qinghe." I pinched the tip of Zhang Yan's nose affectionately, turned around and half knelt in front of Qinghe's tomb, and gently stroked his photo "I apologize to you for everything I have done in the past, I'm sorry Qinghe. You don't have to forgive me, just please don't refuse the flowers I offer you. I have found someone who can spend my life. Like you said, he can take care of me and cook. The most important thing is him Love me very much! Qinghe, I can’t just love you anymore, I love him very much, and I will spend every day with him from now on.”

"Qinghe, please forgive my brother's selfishness. I fell in love with your lover without permission." Zhang Yan came to me and promised Qinghe firmly, "I will love him twice and spend my whole life to give him happiness. I Knowing that he is selfish and greedy for vanity, and even failed you, I still want to be his salvation. He promised to find you in his next life, so let him love me in this life."

Years of knots were finally unraveled, unprecedented relaxation.

Before leaving, I took a deep look at Qinghe's photo.My happiness is stolen, I will cherish it, Qinghe, please wait for me in the next life.

Zhang Yan and I discussed where to go. We planned to go to a fourth-tier city and buy a second-class house.With the remaining money, Zhang Yan is going to start a small business. I want to open a flower shop.

The next day, we went to the airport with our luggage.

When checking in my luggage, I felt that someone was following me all the time. I patted Zhang Yan's arm and said to him, "I always feel that someone is watching me."

Zhang Yan didn't take it seriously, and even laughed at me, "Aren't you too narcissistic, you think you are a country and a city, and everyone is staring at you."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him, telling him it was useless.

Before boarding the plane, I felt that sight again, I turned my head quickly, and saw Zheng Shan.But he was quickly overwhelmed by the crowd, and I suspected that my own eyes were wrong.

I didn't tell Zhang Yan that I seemed to see Zheng Shan, I didn't want him to think too much, after all we both decided to let go of the past.

When I got on the plane, my heart was at ease.I was finally able to leave, finally able to start over.

The plane was about to take off, and the stewardess reminded us to turn off our phones.I took out my phone and was about to turn it off, when I suddenly received a text message. I saw the number was from Zheng Shan, and there was only one sentence, which read: I will always be your brother, I wish you happiness.

After turning off the phone, I laughed out loud.I can finally be completely relieved that all the love and hate in the past have nothing to do with me.

When Zhang Yan saw me happy, he also laughed with me.The two of us smiled at each other like fools on the plane, and felt a little ashamed when we came back to our senses.

Zhang Yan fell asleep, and he leaned his head on my shoulder.When the plane was about to land, I woke him up by scratching his chin.

When I got off the plane, I stretched and took a deep breath, "Have you smelled it, this is the smell of happiness!"

"No, I only smell the smog." Zhang Yan always dismantled my desk, feeling unable to have fun.

After getting the luggage, I asked Zhang Yan, "Where shall we stay tonight?"

Zhang Yan asked me back, "Didn't you book the hotel? You still ask me now."

"Ah? Maybe I forgot..." I guess I was too excited to remember anything.

"What else do you think you can do?" Zhang Yan looked full of hatred.

I leaned closer to Zhang Yan, and whispered in his ear, "I can do you..."

"Please stay away!" Zhang Yan rubbed his red ears, took out his mobile phone to book a hotel.

I dragged my luggage, led Zhang Yan, and walked quickly to the future.

In the end, I waited for my lover and redemption, and this time I will definitely be happy.