After I slapped my wife, he wandered the streets

Since the reunion, Bai Qianmian has been unwilling to mention the past, strictly speaking, he is unwilling to mention the time before separation.

Unexpectedly, on such an occasion today, he suddenly took the initiative to speak up.

Pan Xun felt that he was too unpromising. He had been in Moka City for so long, and even lived with him for a while, but he was not ready to fully face the past, what he had done, and that despicable and selfish person. Own.

The words Bai Qianmian mentioned are undoubtedly the beginning of every nightmare he has.

He once shouted to the boy who was hurt and blood dripping from his heart, "What right do you have to control me, you are neither male nor female anymore."

After that... Bai Qianmian never took the initiative to speak again. After that, Pan Xun took it for granted that the person on the hospital bed was unimportant. Just like every toy he had lost, Bai Qianmian fulfilled his duty as a pawn Then it should disappear. Everyone will meet different people at different times, and they will leave after the time passes. There is no regret.

The car stopped abruptly on the trail and dust was rising. Pan Xun's fingers were holding the steering wheel so hard that it turned white.

"I..." He wanted to apologize. Over the years, he had previewed this scene countless times in his imagination, and repeated those three words countless times, but when it was really necessary, he didn't even dare to turn his head to look at the apology. Object.

"We were all young at that time, and I didn't remember what we said clearly or take it seriously." Bai Qianmian was unusually calm.

Because of his calmness, Pan Xun slowly turned his head to look at him.

"I believe you were unintentional. Maybe you were in a bad mood at that time." Bai Qianmian looked at the back of her hand, "You don't need to be bitter about it for so many years, and you don't need to make up for me. I never held any grudges." over you."

"You don't need to make excuses for me." The more tolerant Bai Qianmian was, the more worried Pan Xun became, his fingers still gripping the steering wheel, "You are still caring about me after all that, but I uttered bad words to you. "

"You're still young." Bai Qianmian didn't seem to care about these three words when she said them.

Pan Xun stared at him, and said with difficulty: "I regret that I said such vicious words."

"Ah."

Pan Xun took a deep breath and didn't let it out for a long time. He finally found a little courage after his face turned blue and purple, and turned his eyes away before he dared to speak, "Have you ever thought about..."

Having run out of courage, Pan Xun paused.

Bai Qianmian sat quietly in the passenger seat, her eyes fixed on the back of her hand without moving.

After leaving the steering wheel, Pan Xun's right hand fell onto his thigh, and he jumped out stiffly word by word, "Have you ever thought about it, that day, that day..."

Bai Qianmian moved her fingers, but kept her head down.

Pan Xun tremblingly said, "There."

Bai Qianmian was still hanging his head, Pan Xun turned his head to look at him, but couldn't see his expression.

"...I was there, I saw everything, I didn't go out to save you, because I was very scared." After finishing this sentence, Pan Xun gritted his teeth and remained silent.

Bai Qianmian was silent for a long time, with a light tone, he replied seemingly indifferently: "I saw it."

When the four characters landed, Pan Xun's face was distorted due to excessive surprise.

Bai Qianmian still maintained the previous movement, he lowered his head, Pan Xun could only see his chin and side face, Bai Qianmian had already closed his eyes.

He suddenly laughed after he finished the sentence that shocked Pan Xun to death.

That laugh was very short, with a sense of desolation and relief, Bai Qianmian repeated word by word: "I saw you."

"You, what are you talking about... What?" Pan Xun stopped shaking his fingers and connected his arms, his upper body was completely numb.

Bai Qianmian rubbed the back of her left hand with her right thumb, and said in a steady voice, "I saw you hiding behind a tree that day."

"..." Pan Xun was completely dumbfounded, his mind was completely blank.

Bai Qianmian slightly raised his head, but he still couldn't see his expression clearly, "We are still young, we can't do much in the face of violent adults, there are no people around the dilapidated house, even if you come out, you can't save me, I didn't blame you. "

It's not surprising that he said such excessive words, he can understand if he doesn't save him with his own eyes, Pan Xun just feels that he can't open his mouth, Bai Qianmian is too kind, he may not be able to imagine the selfishness of human nature, he may not be able to imagine that he had a How despicable.

"You don't understand anything." As if giving up on himself, or facing Bai Qianmian like this, Pan Xun didn't want to play any tricks and pay attention to any steps and strategies. He was eager to tell everything, and then even if the other party stabbed him twice He is also happy.

"If it was you," Pan Xun said softly, looking intently at Bai Qianmian's side face, "You would come out and save me."

From the beginning to the end, he never doubted this.

Bai Qianmian did not refute his words.

"You can't imagine the lower limit of a person. If I just dare not save you, I might blame myself..." But after so many years of suffering, Pan Xun finally stopped being difficult. His tone was very steady, only With intense emotion in his eyes, "Have you ever thought about why I played a role-playing game with you that day, why I asked you to wear my clothes and hat, and why I sent you home first."

Bai Qianmian's right hand was still touching the thumb of his left hand, but when Pan Xun said this, he didn't seem to have received any impact.

Pan Xun's eyes fell on the weeds outside the car. At this moment, he seemed to give up all the prisoners who resisted and waited to die, and said in all directions: "Because I know, I already knew in advance."

"Know what?" Bai Qianmian said at the right time, her tone still calm.

It's too peaceful, it shouldn't be peaceful, if it's normal, Pan Xun should have noticed this abnormality, but now his mind is fluctuating, and he is unable to pay attention to other things.

Like a sinner kneeling in front of a priest to confess, he focused on revealing the details bit by bit, "Three years before I left Connecticut, someone from the Pan family approached me and told me that I still had a chance to be able to When I returned to Pan’s house, he told me not to give up too early and to think about my future life.”

Bai Qianmian was very quiet.

"His contact with me has always been one-way. I didn't even know who this partner was until I returned to the Pan family for a long time. The person in charge of the Pan family is old, and the successor is a wimp. Steady, those smart people weighed in early, and this person chose me," Pan Xun recalled the past, and did not show any emotion when talking about this partner, "Three years later, he brought me a piece of news After experiencing various internal factional struggles, the person in charge plans to take back all the illegitimate children he raised outside."

Bai Qianmian didn't respond, and Pan Xun didn't need any response from him.

"You heard me right, it's Du." His tone became sarcasm, and Pan Xun said coldly, "Besides me, there are two illegitimate children. That person told me that one of the illegitimate children should also have the support of someone from the Pan family. So he knew that there were two other people who would be taken back besides himself, he was dissatisfied with malice, he spent money to find someone, and he wanted to get rid of the other two competitors earlier."

Bai Qianmian's complexion finally changed.

Pan Xun didn't notice, he was still looking at the weeds, "The person who chose me only told me that the Pan family would come to pick me up. I didn't quite believe it at first, but I was convinced after hearing Uncle Chen talk to someone on the phone. News, do you know how happy I am, I have even thought about a better life in the future, but that person concealed the news that someone was coming to harm me, and he didn't let someone notify until that afternoon, until he saw you Me, do you know why?"

Bai Qianmian raised his head slowly, and he looked at Pan Xun little by little.

Pan Xun didn't notice, he turned his head and looked out of the car, "He wanted to see my adaptability, he wanted to know what choice I would make, he said, if I can't even pass this test, then I will Not worthy of his continued support in the future, he will not completely tie himself to my boat."

Pan Xun felt the gaze, but he didn't dare to turn his head.

"So I know, I already knew in advance... I thought about hiding in the school, but those people would definitely come in, and I also thought about asking someone to ask Chen Qing for help, but it was too late , Chen Qing doesn't know anything, he dare not make any decisions alone, if he contacts the family again, I don't know who is standing behind that illegitimate son, let them think that I don't know anything and rely on Nothing is the safest thing." At such a young age, Pan Xun really thought about it a lot, "So I have to push someone out to protect me from this disaster, I have to temporarily paralyze that illegitimate child, and I have to make it possible in the future. The person who chooses me has a chance to stand up and protect me at that time, even if I don't win them over, there are still neutral people in the Pan family, I have to win their attention."

"I need time, and I need to prove it to the person who chooses me," Pan Xun slowly turned his head, his gaze met Bai Qianmian, who stared at him blankly, "You and I are close in age, and that illegitimate child is also Only then did I hear the news that I was able to return to my family. His supporters never expected him to act so boldly. Those people were just like the one who chose me. They made a bet but did not completely leave. This is the game of the rich, the game of the rich. Has its own rules."

After Bai Qianmian looked at each other for a few seconds, she avoided his gaze with a blank expression.

"People who spend money to look for, can get limited information, I bet they may not recognize the real me," Pan Xun looked at Bai Qianmian, "I don't mean to defend myself, but the words I received were about them They are going to destroy me, I really thought they would at most..." At first, I thought it was no big deal, but now Pan Xun only thinks it is cruel when I say it. , "I thought they would at most discount one arm or one leg of yours. The Pan family would not allow a cripple to be the head of the house. I didn't expect..."

At that time, no matter how much Pan Xun thought, he was only in his early teens. The most extreme thing a 12-year-old child could imagine was to break his arms and legs, until he changed his clothes and followed behind and saw what those people did to Bai Qianmian. , He was not convinced at all at the time, about the unspoken rules of the struggle of wealthy families, what is just abolished and will not be killed. At that moment, he completely believed that those people dared to beat a person to death.

They didn't kill the poor "fake Pan Xun", but they raised their feet and stomped them down. They cruelly destroyed the "fake Pan Xun" as a symbol of a man.

Pan Xun will always remember that scream. He will never forget the blood stained on the hospital bed. It is impossible for Bai Qianmian to have any offspring of her own, but the first thing he asked after waking up from the hospital was, "Master, how is it?" ?"

Pan Xun was standing at the end of the bed back then, and he even felt that Bai Qianmian had already seen something, otherwise why would he say the next sentence, "Master, don't go out these days."

Pan Xun felt that he was becoming angry from embarrassment, he had never felt so unbearable in the face of Bai Qianmian's concern, what did he say, he comforted himself that Bai Qianmian would become a passer-by, just the most common pawn on the road to success, he hinted that Bai Qianmian He was mocking his own filth with concern, so he yelled out the words that he would regret countless times in the future.

"What right do you have to control me? You are neither male nor female."

After that, there was no complete conversation until the two separated, and Pan Xun only showed indifference towards Bai Qianmian in the last few days of his stay.

He once promised on a whim that if one day he could leave the town, he would take Bai Qianmian to the most fun place to eat the best food, but he broke his promise.

He regarded those years in the darkness as an abyss, he equated Bai Qianmian with those unbearably weak and incompetent memories, he was eager to find an excuse for himself, he buried Bai Qianmian and the weak and despicable Pan Xun together .

Yes, he thought he could be buried.