Professor Lin's middle-aged love

Taking out the heavy diary from the bag, Lin Yuxi stroked the combination lock with her fingertips, still feeling cold to the touch.

"Password... Xiaomo's birthday."

Lin Yuxi turned her head to look at her sister's photo, and her whole body was covered with coldness.

When the combination lock was dialed, Lin Yuxi's heart hung in response to the crisp sound.Opening the box, an exquisite book lay inside, with a blue cover, my sister likes blue.

Lin Yuxi's fingertips trembled, she bit her lips tightly, snowflakes fell on her eyelashes, trembling, as if she was frosty.

The beginning of the diary is written from the first encounter with Zhou Mo in the way of reminiscence, which is obviously added later and posted on the front page:

Zhou Mo, I think I need to introduce myself, my name is Lin Qingshu.The first time I saw you, you were covered in injuries, your thin body nestled in my arms, trembling and afraid.Your hands are always on my neck, let me not leave you.

My sister went back to find rescuers. We hid in the cave, listening to the crackling rain outside. I was anxious about my sister's safety, and worried about your safety.Although I have never met you before, I think everyone has a little bit of compassion.Especially seeing a dying girl.Being held tightly by you as a life-saving straw, no one will have the heart to abandon you.

The sound of the rain was getting louder, and the cool wind came in from the hole. You were shivering from the cold, and your wet clothes clung to your body.I was anxious in my heart, in fact, I was afraid that you would catch cold again, which would make things worse.

Hesitating, I still unbuttoned my clothes and put my body close to yours, wrapping us in a large coat.I've never liked being with people like that, I thought, I just treat you like a little sister.

Although, even in front of my own sister, I never let her see me naked.

You seemed to find a warm habitat, your cheeks were pressed against my chest, your trembling body began to relax, but your hands still hugged me tightly.

At that moment, my heart ached, and I really wanted to know what happened to you.

Seeing this, Lin Yuxi sighed, and turned the paper backwards with her fingertips. There were many pages in a row, Lin Qingshu was recalling her mental journey, and her experience when she met Zhou Mo again:

As the end of the year approaches, there are more and more people asking for debts at home, wave after wave.My mother scraped together and paid back, but it was still a drop in the bucket.I heard that when I worked part-time at the end of the year, my salary would be doubled, so I packed my luggage and went to a more prosperous city to make money.

I didn't expect to meet your mother and sister. When they saw that it was me, they immediately recruited me to work in your house, thinking that they could help me. I understand, and I am very grateful to them.

When I arrived at Zhou's house, that was the first time I saw your real appearance, a very clean and beautiful little girl, but her eyes were always looking at me blankly.

Lin Qingshu's diaries are all fragmented:

sunny on september 12

Today Zhou Mo started to talk to me on his own initiative, and his voice was very sweet.While I was cleaning, she sat on the sofa and watched TV. I could feel her sneaking glances at me from time to time, wanting to watch but not daring to watch.

Once I deliberately turned my head to meet her when she sneaked a glance over, her round eyes suddenly widened like black grapes, and then her cheeks were flushed.Knowing that she was embarrassed, I just smiled at her, bowed my head and continued to work.

cloudy weather on september 1

Today is New Year's Day, Zhou Mo changed into a red Tang suit cotton skirt, with white fluffy fringe on the collar, which made her delicate face very beautiful.She tied a ponytail today, and she looked a lot more lively.

Early in the morning, I was cooking in the kitchen when I heard the sound of thumping on the stairs, one deep and one shallow.Guessing it was her, my heartbeat also started to speed up.

Are you looking for me?I found that I really like getting along with her. Although she is not very good at smiling most of the time, compared to other people, I feel that she has begun to rely on me a little bit.

Probably because I know how to get along with children. After all, my sister was like her when she was a child and depended on me very much.

"That..." Zhou Mo stood at the door of the kitchen, struggling to know what to call me.

When I heard the sound and turned around, she pursed her lips and stared at me, reached into her clothes pocket, took out a few toffee and handed them to me.

"For me?" I was surprised and delighted.

After taking the toffee, when I was about to thank her, she turned and walked away.

sunny on september 1

Tonight Zhou Mo insisted on yelling to sleep with me, Mrs. Zhou saw that she couldn't resist her, so she raised her head in embarrassment to ask for my consent.

Before going to bed, Mrs. Zhou told me not to turn off the lights at night, Zhou Mo was afraid of the dark.

When the two of us were lying on the bed, she grabbed the corner of my clothes and asked me in a small voice: "Can you hug me to sleep?"

I was stunned for a moment, and hugged her sideways, just like that time in the cave, she naturally clung to my neck.After a while, I heard her heavy breathing.

It's just that at night, she is still a nightmare, as Mrs. Zhou said.She cried with tears all over her face. When she woke up, she opened her eyes and looked at me, sobbing, "Don't leave me behind."

She was sobbing in my arms, and my heart ached, mixed with some other unknown feelings.This night reminded me that our family had just moved to a mountain village, the cold wind howling at night, and the plastic windows crackling.

My sister buried her head in my arms, always yelling and fearing, asking me if there would be a monster jumping in through the window.I opened my arms and held my younger sister in my arms, coaxing her.

No matter how old girls are, they are always timid.My sister is, so is Zhou Mo, they all need my protection.

With the chilly wind coming, Lin Yuxi raised her hand to wipe her eyelashes wet from snowflakes, and continued flipping the paper with her frozen fingers.Her heart seemed to be frozen by this cold winter, unable to think.

This diary is actually recording my sister's daily life at Zhou's house.Lin Yuxi could read her thoughts about home from between the lines.For example, on New Year's Eve, when Lin Qingshu saw Zhou's table full of sumptuous meals and those plates of dumplings with various flavors, she would write:

My mother likes tofu with cabbage, while my sister likes meat-filled dumplings, but meat-filled dumplings are rare.My younger sister is very sensible, but she doesn't take the initiative to ask for it if she likes it.When my mother looked at us with guilt, my sister would always bend her crescent-like eyes and say with a smile that she didn't like the smell of meat, it smelled too greasy and made me want to vomit.

Fool, how could her little trick escape the eyes of my mother and me?

I laughed, but laughed and laughed, and cried again.Raising his hand to touch it lightly, his cheeks were already moist.On New Year's Eve, I don't know how my mother and sister spent it?

After reading this, Lin Yuxi raised her head to force back the heat in her eyes.Because the signal in the village was not good, and it was very expensive to make a phone call in those days, so my sister didn't call often.Tightening the down jacket on her body, Lin Yuxi put her legs together and curled up into a ball.

She remembered that on the first New Year's Eve when her sister left home to work, the debt collectors finally found their residence again and kicked open the leaky wooden door viciously. He stared at himself with eyes like eyes, and threatened his mother: "If you don't pay back the money, your daughter will be arrested to pay off the debt."

She was terrified at the time, but because her sister was away, she had to protect her mother.The thin body like a pole stood in front of the mother, looking up at them.Obviously at that time she was trembling with fear, but she was unwilling to show a little timidity.

Fortunately, before New Year's Eve, my sister sent some money home, and my mother took it out from the back room and handed it over to them.Those few people reluctantly left, but they didn't stop there.After all, to them, that debt is as numerous and heavy as a mountain.

Lin Yuxi was trembling with her breathing, she lowered her head and continued to flip through the diary, feeling everything that Lin Qingshu had felt, as if she had re-experienced the past with her.It felt as if her sister was living beside her, very close to her, very close.

Rainy weather on November 2

I found that Zhou Mo didn't like rainy days very much, every time there was a thunderstorm, she would hide in the quilt in fear like a frightened kitten.His thin body arched a small bag under the quilt, shivering.

I went up to hold her in my arms distressedly, stroked her up and down through the quilt, and comforted her.

Zhou Mo's mood is good and bad. When she is happy, she will drag her chin with one hand and rest her elbow on the table to watch me draw.Those bright eyes stared at me for a moment, until I blushed embarrassedly and blamed her, then smiled and looked away and landed on the painting.

"Does the lily I painted look good?" Seeing that she was staring at my painting with fascination, I couldn't help asking her.

Seeing her frowning and hesitating for a long time, she hesitated and said, "I don't look as good as you."

"Can you teach me to draw you?" Her voice was very sweet, and her smile was also very sweet, as if smeared with honey.

At that moment, my heart was throbbing, it was a wonderful feeling.

Pinching the diary with her slender fingertips, Lin Yuxi let out a long sigh.So, her sister's feelings for Zhou Mo... Lin Yuxi fell into confusion, and she was not completely sure, but she thought her sister must not have fully figured it out either.My sister felt a little sick, but she didn't know what kind of feeling it was.She likes Zhou Mo's clean face and the feeling of being relied on by her. She thinks that is probably the feeling of liking someone.

But even if my sister vaguely perceives the emotion afterwards, she will try her best to control it.After all, at that time, Zhou Mo was only 11 years old. Apart from the nine-year age gap between her sister and Zhou Mo, there was also a huge disparity in all aspects of life and background.

She can only take care of Zhou Mo like a close sister, recording her step by step towards a better life.

These complex emotions were all read out by Lin Yuxi in his diary.It's like, it's forbearance, it's intertwined like a messy web.

Lin Qingshu has been waiting for the day when her heart will be clear.Unfortunately, fate did not give her much time.One day, her whereabouts were discovered by those debt collectors, and they even started thinking about Zhou's family.

The Zhou family was kind to her, and she didn't want to involve them, so Lin Qingshu chose to leave the Zhou family and quit her job.Before she left, she wanted to take a painting with her, which she drew with Zhou Mo when she was at Zhou's house.Later, Zhou Mo gradually learned to complete the paintings by herself. She was very serious about painting, but of course she was also very stubborn. She had to decide who she wanted to paint and who she didn't want to paint.

When Lin Qingshu was about to leave, she realized that Zhou Mo's paintings were almost all her own.She didn't know whether it was happiness or worry in her heart, she didn't seem to be as happy as she imagined, but felt a little throbbing pain instead.

Meng Hao was met by Lin Qingshu when he was working part-time. He fell in love with her at first sight and pursued her fiercely.

Later, he didn't know where he found out about the Lin family's debts, and began to blackmail her with this matter. If Lin Qingshu didn't marry him, no matter where she hid, it wouldn't help.He'll tip off the rascals.

But if he agrees to Meng Hao's marriage proposal, he will help the Lin family pay off their debts and promise to treat her well for the rest of his life.

What a shameless and grandiose reason, the euphemistic name is to love her.

Lin Qingshu was unwilling, so the other party started to threaten her sister.

"I heard that your sister looks as pretty as you? Do you know that one of those debt collectors named A Qiang likes your sister very much? The reason why your father owes so much gambling debt is probably a trap set by him , what he wants is not the money, but your sister."

Lin Qingshu was startled by Meng Hao's words. She suddenly opened her eyes wide, stared at him, and asked him, "What exactly are you trying to do?"

"It's not you, it's them. I'm here to help you." Meng Hao corrected her words. Lin Qingshu didn't know until after she got married that Meng Hao had actually met him before she went to work, and asked around about her situation. .He was already prepared to touch himself.

Seeing Lin Qingshu's mood fluctuate, Meng Hao continued to put pressure on her, "I heard that the eldest daughter of the Zhou family likes you?"

Meng Hao's voice was deep and deep, but when he said it, it was like a hammer hitting his chest, painful and stuffy.Her whole nerves tensed up.

"I know that the Zhou family has a lot of money, but I can't cover the sky with one hand. If an accidental car accident breaks the girl's leg and ruins her dancing dream, I will at most lose some money or go to jail for a few years. Go in for the rest of your life, you have to think clearly." Meng Hao is used to cheating, stalking a person and sniffing out some news. He is used to it.

After a long time, he discovered that something was wrong inside.Zhou's parents and daughters seem to care too much about Lin Qingshu, every look and every movement is full of affection.He even saw the anxious and concerned look in Zhou Ying's eyes when she gave an umbrella to Lin Qingshu who was shopping for vegetables on a rainy day, and the smile on her face when she held Lin Qingshu in her arms, which was very meaningful.

Just like himself, love cannot be concealed, Meng Hao thought.

Lin Qingshu's whole body was as cold as frost, she clenched her fists tightly, looking at the distant mountains hazy by the drizzle, her heart was ashamed.

She wanted to die but found that they would not let her go even if she died.She also has a younger sister, if she can't get entangled with herself, they will find her sister's troubles.

They had already figured out their own weaknesses, and she had nowhere to hide.

"Okay, I promise you." At this point, Lin Qingshu vaguely sensed that maybe Meng Hao was the mastermind behind the scenes.

At that time, he was indeed rich and powerful.How could her thin arms twist him?She also thought about calling the police, but there was no evidence, and if it was serious, she would lock him up for a few days at most.With so many debt collectors, how many can be locked up?How long can it be closed?Will they come out with a grudge?

Lin Qingshu felt terrified.

In her diary, she simply stated this terrible experience. She had no one to talk about, so she could only write it in the diary.

After getting sick, she thought she would die soon, so she originally wanted to burn that diary.But she remembered that when she first wrote this diary, she wanted to record a subtle emotion, a hazy feeling that sprouted in the bottom of her heart like a bud.At first, she thought it was love, but then she knew, it wasn't.

But after all, there are too many records about Zhou Mo's daily life in it. Perhaps, it is more meaningful to give her as a souvenir than to burn it.

After all, Zhou Mo asked her to stay with her forever during the days when she was working in Zhou's family. She said that she liked the feeling of drawing pictures and sharing stories with herself.She agreed, but now, as her older sister, she broke her promise.

Yes, sister, Lin Qingshu felt that she, Yu Zhoumo, was probably a sister who could protect her, love her, and give her warmth.

Therefore, she hoped that if Zhou Mo regained her memory one day, she would not blame her sister for breaking her promise.

She has reasons.

As for the other paragraph, Lin Qingshu did not reflect it in the diary.She expressed it in a different way, which was an emotion that she hadn't had the courage to face for many years afterwards.

After closing the diary, Lin Yuxi sat stiffly on the stone steps, stunned for a long time.

So, my sister brought that man home, and all the love and sweetness between them was just pretending?

for me?To pay off debts?He ruined his life's happiness.

Standing up staggeringly with the stone tablet in his hands, Lin Yuxi stared at the woman with a sweet smile in the photo with red eyes and a painful expression. The cold wind blew on her face like a knife.Hot tears dripped down, Lin Yuxi shook her head and bit her lips until blood oozed out.

The north wind was howling, the snow was flying heavily, the mountains were covered in white, and it was cold. I don't know who I was complaining about.

Lin Yuxi's expression was numb, she suddenly knelt down on her knees, bent over and covered her face with her hands, broke down and cried, "Sister."

This cry is guilt, pity, and pain like a broken heart.

The author has something to say: I posted this chapter yesterday, read everyone's comments, summarized the loopholes and problems, and then modified some details. Thank you for your comments and suggestions, and thank you for your help.