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High school work is heavy.

Qu You's body is busy between school and home every day, but his heart is flying far away, building his own pure land.

Outside of schoolwork, he was obsessed with reading philosophy books, all of which were borrowed from the school library.

At this time, the deepest question in his heart is-why do people live, and how do people face death?

He often becomes more and more pessimistic about life because of thinking about this kind of problem.

By chance, what he first borrowed was Schopenhauer's treatise, which is a thoroughly pessimistic philosopher, because Qu You was also infected with this kind of melancholy - life is inherently painful, life must die, In the end, it will inevitably lead to nothingness, and this nothingness reveals that life will be meaningless.

Moreover, Schopenhauer advocated physical abstinence as the highest virtue.

The meaning of life, life and death, Qu You naturally can't think of a reason, not to mention him, the whole human race has not thought of a reason.

Therefore, even though Qu You was confused, he couldn't stop doing other things because of this obsession.

However, he thoroughly implemented the abstinence rule.

Qu You is still young, he actually doesn't understand the overall meaning of abstinence at this time, but he has practiced it, living a bit of an ascetic life.

Sleeps on a hard bed, is a vegetarian, has strict requirements for standing and sitting sleeping positions, gets up early every day, studies hard, does not enjoy good food (the mistake he made when he was a child because of gluttony should be a lifelong warning), does not covet money , not greedy for fun...

He is not addicted to smoking, does not drink alcohol, and is not lustful, so the above is his implementation of the word abstinence.

At this time, the ideals of other students are to become scientists, entrepreneurs, CEOs of large companies, actors, filmmakers, the richest man in the world, and so on.

Qu You thinks that his ideal in life is to pursue wisdom...

It has to be said that the thoughts that Qu You had in his heart were very special and surpassed those of his classmates.

However, in the eyes of his classmates, he is firstly silent, secondly is in a daze, thirdly is shy, fourthly is not gregarious...all these things don't seem to be good words , apart from his cute appearance, he has a very weak sense of existence among his classmates. Others don't know that there is a rich world in his mind, and they will only see him as cowardly and easy to bully.

When Ji Hong met the 16-year-old Qu You, Qu You had already walked out of Schopenhauer's world, and he was about to fall into Nietzsche's embrace. He borrowed the only book in the library——Su Lu Zhi Quotations".

After reading the first few pages, he was happy and excited. He was as excited as an addict who took drugs.

In the evening self-study, his face was flushed with excitement, and his amber eyes became dark and sparkling.

Several classmates around looked at him like this, and they felt like a deer, hey, when a person is shining, it is easy to provoke others.

He rode his bicycle home after evening self-study and get out of class, out of the city, there were few cars on the road, the black sky was dotted with stars, the moon's brilliance seemed to be weakened by the stars, and the light of the street lamps quietly illuminated the open road , the evening breeze blows, comfortable from body to heart.

Qu You rode a bicycle all the way, alone, but not lonely, yes, he didn’t feel lonely, because he still had too many books that he hadn’t finished reading, knowledge that he hadn’t explored, oh , His mind was full of Su Luzhi's words at this moment.

Regardless of whether he was on the road, he recited aloud what he saw today on his bicycle all the way. Those words that Nietzsche yelled more than a century ago, he yelled out at this time, as if he had seen the truth that he wanted the most in his heart. Crying, needing to vent, he is eager to tell these things, just like what Su Luzhi chose must fall, the sun needs what it shines——

At that time, you say: "What has my happiness to me! This is poverty, filth, a pitiful comfort. But my happiness will justify my existence!"

At that hour, you say: "What have I to do with my reason! Is it not seeking knowledge like a lion seeking food? She is poor, filthy, and a pitiful comfort!"

At that time, you said: "What has my morality to do with me!..."[1]

-

Qu You sang so freely all the way, riding a bicycle from outside the courtyard of Ji Hong's grandmother's house.

Ji Hong knew that he would pass here for self-study next night, so he leaned on the car door and waited for him.

He saw Qu You riding over from the darkness in the distance, and rode to the front, as if Qu You came here, bringing light; he heard Qu You's voice, which seemed to be full of admiration like an aria A subdued voice; he saw Qu You's happiness, bright smile, as if shining...

Is this his song you? It makes him more fascinated than the moon in the sky.

Ji Hong knew that Qu You was reciting Nietzsche's most famous "Thus Spoke Zarathus", in which God died.

He wondered if Qu You was already reading such a profound book, seeing how happy he was, as if he had owned the whole world.

Indeed, now Qu You really feels that he owns the whole world.

If Ji Hong doesn't bother him, he will always be happy like this.

Ji Hong stopped Qu You, - "Yuyou."

Qu You was so absorbed in his own world that he couldn't hear Ji Hong's voice. After Ji Hong called him several times, he realized that someone called him, so he stopped the bicycle and supported himself with his legs.

The excitement on his face was too late to restrain. When he looked at the courtyard of Ji Hong's grandmother's house, which was still full of sorrow and joy, he saw a black car very close to him. There was a person standing by the door. In the backlight, he couldn't see who it was, but a figure immediately appeared in his mind. He was startled by this, and his feet on the ground moved a little.

Ji Hong walked towards him, and stepped into the moonlight and street lamp lights from the dark place.

If it was really him, Qu You's heart that was enthusiastic and happy just now jumped a few times, and the expression on his face also calmed down, and then he thought that his crazy appearance just now was completely seen by this person, so he felt very embarrassed again , Embarrassed, his face turned red.

He tentatively called out, "Brother Ji Hong?"

Ji Hong is not the same as when he left five years ago. In Qu You's eyes, he is already an adult. I don't know when he became short-sighted and has glasses on the bridge of his nose. Don't look at his height. Speaking of face shape, it's not quite the same as before.

This kind of Ji Hong is completely like a stranger, but he feels more pressured. Seeing him walking over, Qu You knew that it was the familiar person, but his heart became anxious, unfamiliar, and afraid.

Qu You is a coward, but he is not afraid of the dark or ghosts, he is afraid of people.

When Ji Hong stood in front of Qu You, Qu You looked at Ji Hong with a look of timidity in Qu You's originally cheerful eyes.

Ji Hong looked at him, smiled at him, his expression was very gentle, and said, "Self-study next night? I'll wait for you here."

"Huh?" Qu You was startled.When he went home for lunch at noon, he heard from his mother that Ji Hong's grandmother, Mrs. Ji, had passed away, and her children and grandchildren had returned, and there was a funeral in her old house, with many cars and many people coming.At that time, he thought that Ji Hong might come back, even though he thought so, he never thought that he would meet Ji Hong, what's more, Ji Hong was waiting for him by the side of the road.

Ji Hong reached out and rubbed Qu You's hair, it was still as soft as before, and smiled, "Why, you don't recognize me? Are you so surprised?"

Qu You tilted his head, he was not used to others touching any part of his body, Ji Hong rubbing his hair like this made him very sensitive, his face became redder, his eyes blinked, and he replied uncomfortably, "It's been a while." You have changed a lot in such a long time."

Ji Hong smiled, Qu You had also changed, but it seemed that he hadn't changed.

Qu You lowered his head, got off the bicycle, and said in a low voice, "Grandma Ji passed away, please mourn."

Hearing Qu You's words, Ji Hong wanted to rub his soft hair again.

He looked back at the old house behind him, and said, "Grandma is suffering if she is sick and procrastinating, even if she passes away."

Qu You looked up at him because of his words, Qu You is not yet 1.7 meters tall, standing like this looking at Ji Hong, she had to raise her head slightly, and couldn't help but lament that Ji Hong had really grown a lot taller.

When he was a child, he also had to look up like this.

Ji Hong always had a smile on his face. He looked down at Qu You, and Qu You raised his head. Under the street light, his clear eyebrows were radiant, and his porcelain-like skin was even more white and radiant because of the moonlight. Ji Hong couldn't help but Want to reach out and touch it.

But he immediately turned his eyes away again, and asked Qu You, "Are you hungry, do you want supper?"

Qu You could hardly keep up with his train of thought, he thought Ji Hong should let him go if he asked him a few more casual questions.

Of course Qu You was hungry at this time, he didn't go home after school every evening, he just ate something to fill his stomach at school, and dinner was the meal that he would eat when he went home after class in the evening.

But Qu You didn't answer.

Ji Hong continued, "Last night's self-study was the most brain-consuming, you must be hungry! There is a lot of food in the room, let's go in and eat some!"

Qu You wanted to refuse, so she immediately said, "My mother is waiting for me to go back to eat at home."

Ji Hongdao, "Then it's good to bring some food back to eat! I see that they packed a lot of food, so I'll bring some back for you! I'm going to stay at your house tonight, the house here can't accommodate people."

Hearing that Ji Hong was going to stay at his own house, Qu You couldn't suppress the big change in his face. He was extremely unhappy in his heart, thinking that he had no place to live, so why would he go to stay at his own house? .

Qu You didn't answer for a moment, but Ji Hong still led her by the arm and walked into the yard, leaving her bicycle on the road.

This yard, on the side of the road, is separated from the house by a big pond, which is the pond that Ji Hong pushed Qu You down before. On the pond is a curved bridge. When Qu You was a child, Qu You was afraid to walk on this bridge. Now that he has grown up But there is no such fear.

He was dragged by Ji Hong across the Quqiao. After crossing the pond, there was a small courtyard dam. Someone set up a mahjong table there to play mahjong. There were two tables in total. They saw Ji Hong pulling people into the house and asked With a sound, Ji Hong casually replied that he was an ex-friend, so they didn't care.

Although the funeral was held here, the corpse was not parked here, but in an ice coffin in the funeral parlor.

To be honest, Qu You didn't feel how sad this family was because of someone's death. Thinking about it, the old lady was really tormenting people in the past. Everyone hoped that she would leave early.

However, there are no mourners in this way, which really makes people feel a little sad.

When Qu You’s grandmother died, he had no relationship with her, and he fainted from crying. Qu You was not because of sadness at the time. He knew that death is the end of human beings, so he didn’t think death was anything, but the atmosphere at that time It was so sad, he couldn't help himself not to cry, and then passed out because of his small size and lack of water.

Ji Hong brought two big bags of fruit to Qu You, and then there were two bags of dried fruit and jerky, etc., and said, "No one will eat it here, so you can take it back!"

He went to talk to his second uncle who was guarding the spirit, picked up a small bag containing daily necessities, and went out with Qu You.

Ji Hong's father and mother went abroad for inspection, but were not in China, so they didn't come to attend the funeral at all.

After Ji Hong and Qu You went out, when Ji Hong rode Qu You's bicycle and let Qu You sit on the back seat, Qu You still wanted to die, "Brother Ji Hong, my bed is not good, and there is no air conditioner. I'm not used to that..."

Ji Hong ignored him at all, and said, "Come on! I just happened to go to see Aunt Xiao, how has she been these few years?"

So Qu You had no choice but to sit on the back seat, and Ji Hong took the bag in his hand and hung it on the handlebar.

Ji Hong rides Qu You on his bicycle and rides on the way to Qu You's house.

In this way, it takes only 5 minutes to get there by bike. Ji Hong sighed while riding the bike, "I haven't been back for a few years, and the changes here are quite big!"

Qu You had no choice but to give a weak "hmm" in a low voice.

The changes here are indeed quite big. The previous rice fields have all been built into lotus ponds, and the largest lotus root planting base in the county has been built.

A road passes through the middle of the lotus pond and directly enters Quyou's village.

Qu You's house is at the entrance of the village.

When I got to the door of the house, I saw Qu's mother was still sitting in the yard enjoying the cool and watching TV (the TV was moved to the door of the house).

The author has something to say: [1] Nietzsche’s Su Luzhi Quotations, translated by Xu Fancheng, is my favorite translation, and the other translation is called Zarathustrarus.