Dust of hidden love

Shiwei is September, and the autumn colors are endless.

In the morning, the dew and frost had finally disappeared, and the chill of the night's solitary moonlight slightly invaded the human body, and Ling Qing was awakened from her sleep again by the cold.

It was said to be a dream, but in fact it was only a light sleep for an hour or two. In the first half of the night, my stomach was very noisy, and in the second half of the night, I had cramps in my feet for a long time.Ling Qing sat up with a haggard face, and looked down at her stomach... It was obviously only five months old, but this time her stomach looked significantly larger.

After that night of confusion and obsession by the pond, it really happened. His inexplicable premonition at that time was quickly confirmed by the successive reactions not long after. A hurdle that cannot be crossed.

If it was unintentional last time, it was still the crystallization of Yan Yunlie and "Qin Lin"'s sympathy, but this time there was an element of compulsion in it, and as soon as you think of Yan Yunlie's treatment of "Qin Lin" and "Qin Lin" When "Ling Qing" had a completely different attitude, his heart felt like a knife was piercing him.

Ling Qing always wanted to leave. After falling into several traps and wandering around in the mountains for a long time before returning to the same place, he gave up the idea of ​​going alone, and grabbed a congregation and threatened him to take him down the mountain, but he forgot After eating what Tianjuejiao is best at, he lost consciousness when the other party swept his hand away. After waking up, he found himself back in the hut again, and this happened several times until he found out that he was pregnant again.

Although the child was not what he really wanted, and the life growing in his stomach was always reminding him of the innocent child who died under the knife because of his concealment and Yan Yunlie's selfishness. , but after losing it once, he knows that he should cherish it even more, even if the arrival of the child is not his wish.

So Ling Qing didn't dare to venture around to find a way to escape, but calmed down and waited for the child's death.

In fact, even if he wanted to run around, it was impossible.Now this little guy in the stomach is too noisy, the first two months can be described as earth-shattering, during that time Ling Qing was almost in a daze, and when he woke up, he dragged his weak body out of bed to eat a little, even if he didn't have an appetite , Most of the time, I vomited immediately after eating, and fell back to bed to continue to sleep after vomiting.

However, the first child was too well-behaved and quiet. When Ling Qing was pregnant with him for two months, she was still flying over the walls of Licheng and the carriage was bumping, and her reaction was always small. It was as if she owed him like she is now. .

Yan Yunlie never showed up, as if he had already forgotten that he existed.

Ling Qing thought to himself, maybe he doesn't care if he can give him another one, even if he can, "Qin Lin" and "Ling Qing" are two different existences in his heart... He is really willing to accept and " The child born by Ling Qing? According to the situation at the time, that person might just want a place to vent his grief and anger.

But... Who should I confide in the grief I have endured?

Days passed like this day by day. Fuxia in the mountains was not too hot, but the lingering dampness and stickiness in the wind made people uncomfortable. Mae Chan lonely "knew" the whole summer, the abandoned pond behind the house Here, the wild lotus swayed by itself, and then one day, the autumn wind blew up and cut the lotus leaves...

There is no doctor, and no one to take care of it, only the person who doesn't care about anything who brings meals regularly every day.Ling Qing woke up several times in the middle of the night. The fatigue and physical discomfort made it difficult for him to remember to pour himself a glass of water. He lay on the couch and looked at the teapot on the table in a daze. come up.

After finally surviving the violent reaction in the first few months, the symptoms were slightly relieved, and the little guy in his stomach began to move slightly, as if he was constantly thinking of ways to remind Ling Qing of his existence.Ling Qing was also used to his fuss, but luckily Ruan Suxue taught him a lot at that time, no one would take care of him, so he could take care of it by himself.

Ling Qing frowned, and patted his stomach twice with his hands a little dotingly and slightly annoyed, and the little life in his stomach seemed to move in response, acting like a baby.

"Don't worry... I will give birth to you well." Rubbing her swollen belly gently, she promised lightly.

Got up, opened the door, the person who delivered the food had put the food box at the door early, he took the food box and turned to the tail.

The dishes couldn't be simpler, or even crude. It didn't matter to him at first, but now there is a little guy in his stomach.Ling Qing put the steamed buns aside, saving them for later when she was hungry, and just ate the already cold porridge with some pickles.

Halfway through the meal, Ling Qing put down the bowl and chopsticks when he heard someone's footsteps outside, thinking he was hallucinating.In the past six months, no one else has set foot here except for the food delivery man, and he is already familiar with the footsteps of the food delivery man, but this time it doesn't sound like it.

Ling Qing opened the door and went out, walked to the courtyard, and was a little surprised to see a servant coming to this place where almost no one set foot.The servant was sweeping the fallen leaves on the ground carelessly with a broom, stepping on one or two dead leaves from time to time, making a crisp clicking sound.The servant seemed to be very interested in sweeping and stomping like this.

Ling Qing couldn't help laughing softly, thinking that it would be inconvenient for others to see her now, when she was about to turn around, a series of crisp and clear voices slid past her ears.

Jingle bell... jingle bell...

Ling Qing stopped in her tracks, looking in surprise at the string of silver bells tied around the man's waist with a red string.At this time, the autumn wind was blowing, and the servant straightened up, and with his hands, he smoothed down the hair that had been blown up by the wind and stuck to his cheeks. When he turned around, his face was still beautiful and beautiful, and it was the same when he saw the people standing in the courtyard. I froze on the spot.

"Ling Qing?!"

"Master Suzu..."

Both of them were surprised at the same time.

Ling Qing was about to speak, wanting to ask him why he was here, but immediately remembered something and hurriedly turned to go into the room.

"Ling Qing, wait a minute!"

A silver bell rang behind him, and Ling Jun caught up and grabbed Ling Qing's arm to prevent him from leaving.

"Ling Qing, your stomach..."

Sure enough, it was seen.

Ling Qing was anxious and embarrassed, seeing Ling Jun's eyes fixed on her bulging stomach, which didn't match her figure at all, like a wealthy land gentry, she really wanted to dig a hole in the ground.

He must feel that his current appearance is very strange, maybe he will be regarded as...

Ling Qing pulled her arm out of his hand, and walked into the room indifferently and without turning her head, but within two steps, the little guy in her stomach moved uncooperatively, the movement was not too big or too big It will hurt, but Ling Qing can't help but slow down, covering his upper abdomen with his hands to wait for the pain to subside.

At this moment, a pair of white cloth shoes appeared in his sight.Ling Qing closed her eyes and turned her head slightly, not wanting him to see Bai Ji's ghostly appearance.

"Ling Qing, did you... also eat the Kuishi lotus?"

When Ling Qing heard this, she was startled for a moment, then raised her head abruptly, and looked at Ling Jun in disbelief. How could he know Kuishi Lian?

Seeing him like this, Ling Jun showed a clear expression, and smiled slightly as if to comfort him, "Don't be afraid, I didn't regard you as a monster." After finishing speaking, she lowered her head sadly and reached out to touch her stomach , "So I have one too, but I didn't know it and didn't pay attention, so..."

Ling Qing opened his eyes wide. Ling Jun's words were so unexpected that he couldn't react for a while, so he just blurted out, "Is... Yan Yunlie's child?" Ling Jun raised his head, his face suppressed sadness Then she smiled lightly, she was so beautiful, but she raised her slender eyebrows and shook her head in denial.

This was a big surprise to Ling Qing, but Ling Jun didn't say much, just stretched out his hand affectionately, grabbed Ling Qing's arm, and carefully helped him walk into the house.

"How old is it?" Ning Xiang entered

"Five months."

"Yan Yunlie's?"

"..."

The two sat down next to the threshold, and the rising sun dissipated the chill of the morning, spreading warmth on their bodies.

"Mr. Ling, why are you here? And...you are still like this?" Ling Qing finally came to his senses after successive accidents, and expressed the doubts in his heart.

"You say I'm like this now?"

Ling Junzhong opened his arms, smiled and showed off the plain cloth clothes worn by servants, then withdrew his hands, put his elbows on his knees, rested his cheeks on his hands, and sighed, "Because I violated the religious rules, I was punished." For servants..."

But the disappointed expression stayed on his face for a moment, then immediately turned back, Ling Jun patted the ashes on his clothes with his hands, "But it's fine now, I don't want to be that poor hall master..."

Ling Qing looked at him, not knowing what to say.

At first, I thought that Ling Jun was a bit cold and arrogant, and he didn't seem to be very close to him. When he first arrived at Tianjue Mountain, he was ridiculed for a while, but now that the two of them are sitting side by side on the threshold and talking, it seems that they have known each other for a long time, and they seem The relationship is just as good.

Seemingly aware of Ling Qing's gaze, Ling Jun also turned his head to look at Ling Qing, then his eyes still fell on his stomach, after watching for a long while, he suddenly stretched out his hand to caress the raised area.

Ling Qing was taken aback by his move, and instinctively wanted to jump away, but found that Ling Jun was not malicious, but envious in his eyes, so she let him go.

"Is it Yan Yunlie's?"

Ling Qing didn't say a word, she only lowered her eyes slightly.

Seeing him like this was considered acquiescing, but Ling Jun suddenly got a little excited, and pointed around, "You have his child, and he actually left you in this kind of place?!"

Ling Qing shook his head, "Maybe he doesn't know at all..."

He raised his eyes, then looked into the distance, sighed a long time, and then spoke slowly.

"It's a long story..."

Ling Qing told the whole story, many parts that she didn't want to think about or bring up, but now she said that her mood has calmed down a lot.

He did still have hatred for Yan Yunlie, but it was not as strong as it was then.

There are ups and downs in the world, many mistakes have been made many years ago, and when they are discovered, it is too late to regret, and the love that once burned bones and hearts is gradually worn away in each other's hurt, like a vow of eternal love engraved on a stone, always Some old things will be weathered by the wind and rain, and the changes of the years. At that time, who will remember the drunken wine?Do you still remember walking side by side?

He will not remember that he...maybe there will be a day when he will let go...

When everything was finished, the sun was almost noon.

Ling Qing didn't know why he told Ling Jun all this, he even told all the parts that Ruan Suxue didn't know, obviously he and Ling Jun didn't even know each other well.But after he said all the words that had been hidden in his heart for a long time, he only felt that the depression that was suppressed in his heart was relieved a lot.

Ling Jun's eyes were red, and he stretched out his hand to caress Ling Qing's thin face, "It's all my fault, if I hadn't forced you to leave at that time, maybe the result like today wouldn't have happened..."

"It's not your fault." Ling Qing gently patted the hand that was caressing her face, and comforted him in turn, "I planned to leave, but I was hesitant. At that time, you were just behind my back. Give me a push to make up my mind to leave."

Hearing what he said, Ling Jun felt a little relieved and took his hand back.

"At that time, I saw your eyes looking at Yan Yunlie, so pure, so eager, and all the affection was written in the bottom of your eyes without any concealment, I knew you must be sincere."

"There have been so many people around Yan Yunlie, and the number is too many to count. Everyone wanted to be the one and only one around Yan Yunlie, but in the end they all had to realize that those were just wishful thinking. The same...so I don't think you should stay, before you get into it, at least it's just a moment of sadness instead of getting hurt..."

Ling Qing thought to himself, it turned out that he was doing it for himself at that time... It's a pity...

"It's a pity, at that time, I was stuck in it and couldn't pull it out..."

How long ago was that?

Did you start by searching for that romantic and unrestrained figure in the crowd intentionally or unintentionally?Or do you start by getting used to wearing white clothes with wide waists and sleeves?Or did it start from that chance encounter on Sao Dao many years ago?

Ling Qing smiled self-deprecatingly, and turned to ask Ling Jun, "Then you? You said just now... you also had a child, but it wasn't Yan Yunlie's. Then I'm very curious, dare to have a child with him under his nose. Do you have a dark knot in your bead?"

"What kind of tire..." Ling Jun snorted lightly, two red clouds instantly floated on his face, he stood up a little awkwardly and straightened his clothes, as if he was going to get away with it, but Ling Qing grabbed his sleeves.

"I am willing to confide my heart to Mr. Ling, but Mr. Ling still treats me as an outsider?" Ling Qing pretended to be angry.

Ling Jun pursed his lips, lowered his body and helped Ling Qing stand up, but he was obviously still hesitating. After hesitating for a while, he stomped his feet and leaned close to Ling Qing's ear, biting his ear, and said something in a low voice.

At first Ling Qing laughed at him for being mysterious, but when he heard it, he blurted out in shock.

"Wei Yu?!" Ao^Xue^Ning^Xiang^ entered

"Shh-!"

Ling Jun was shocked, and quickly covered Ling Qing's mouth. Knowing that no one would come here, she still dragged Ling Qing into the house with a guilty conscience, and closed the door blankly, with the blush on her face still not fading.

Ling Qing's mouth was covered by him, and his arms were pulled again, only a pair of eyes blinked.

Ling Jun let go of his hand and complained, "I knew you would react like this."

Ling Qing frowned. Although he was really surprised that the other party was Wei Yu who hardly showed any expression and only knew how to obey orders, but... obviously your reaction was the bigger one.

"Actually, I already knew Wei Yu's affection for me..."

Ling Jun twisted her clothes with her fingers and recalled slowly.

"That was not long after Yan Yunlie took over the position of leader. At that time, the former right envoy refused to accept this decision, and secretly struggled with manpower to remove Yan Yunlie from the position of leader. Unfortunately, I overheard it. In order to Ding Youshi brought back the news of the rebellion as soon as possible, and I was injured by Ding Youshi's men.

"The situation at that time was very chaotic, Yan Yunlie left me in Xuzhou to recuperate, and brought someone back to deal with the affairs of the church. After three months of going, there was no news, not even a single question. During the time when I was recuperating in Xuzhou, it was Wei Yu who took care of me, asking about my health, decocting medicine and pouring tea, and also endured my self-willedness and temper when I didn't come to the mountain."

Speaking of this, Ling Jun couldn't help laughing, while talking, he plucked the string of bells around his waist with his fingers.

"Didn't you see that he knows that I like to play with these things, in order to relieve my boredom, such a tall man, who is as silent as a stone, with an expressionless face that can make people retreat three feet, actually ran to me at a small stall. Picking the silver bell..." Ao^Xue^Ning^Xiang^Input Ling Qing imagined that scene, and couldn't help laughing, the two giggled, adding a bit of popularity to this lonely and deserted place.

I learned from Ling Jun that when he returned to Tianjue Mountain after recovering from his injury, what he saw was another person beside Yan Yunlie.Yan Yunlie thought that he had made great contributions to the teaching, and appointed him as the master of Jiecao Hall, which is why he stayed in Tianjue Mountain all the time.

Ling Jun's falling out of favor is obvious. He saw Yan Yunlie's side changed from one person to another. Over the past few years, from being hurt to giving up, it was thorough.

During this period, the only thing that warmed his heart was the bells that Wei Yu secretly put on his house every month, silently branding Wei Yu's traces, making him inadvertently approach this silent and loyal man.Then, finally on a rainy night, driven by wine, the two pierced through the thin paper separating each other.

I don't know who hugged who first, the curtain hangs down, lingering and sewed.

But after waking up, they all chose to keep silent.

"Don't he know you...?"

Ling Jun shook his head, "He doesn't know, I ate Kuishi lotus by mistake, and the fact that Kuishi lotus can make men pregnant is because I overheard Yan Yunlie and Yuan Bugui's conversation."

Looking up, seeing Ling Qing's worried gaze, Ling Jun said helplessly, "He thought my heart was still with Yan Yunlie, but I thought of his identity and status in the church. Not good for him..."

Ling Qing didn't expect that these two people were also hindered by many obstacles.Just didn't know how to comfort him, he didn't want Ling Junbai to wipe his face, and when he put his hands down, he still had that beautiful face with a faint smile.

"I'm not sad, I know it's good that he has me in his heart. It's you..." Ling Jun said, his eyes fell on Ling Qing's half-eaten meal on the table, his complexion changed drastically, he walked to the table and pointed The half bowl of cold porridge and a small dish of pickles, "Is this what he gave you? Is this what he gave you when you were pregnant?"

Seeing Ling Qing's silence, Ling Jun turned his sleeves as if looking for someone desperately, "Yan Yunlie is a bastard, I will go to him to help you get justice!"

"Master Ling! Ling Jun!" Ling Qing hurriedly grabbed him, "Don't go! I don't want him to know!"

Ling Jun took half a step and was held back by him, tilted his head, puzzled.

Ling Qing pursed her lips, "Can you give me another bamboo tube like that?" After a pause, she looked down at her obviously raised abdomen, "I don't want Yan Yunlie to know that I want to leave here."

Ling Jun thought for a while, and showed a troubled expression, "The "Guiding" on me is gone, but "Guiding" is not a Gu that is difficult to raise, and you can raise it again."

Ling Qing grabbed his arm, a little excited, "Then can you raise some more?"

Ling Jun smiled and patted his hand, "It's possible, but it takes a hundred days, and you have to let them attach to a person and walk a mountain road to be considered a real "guidance"."

Ling Qing raised her brows and thought for a while, a hundred days... At that time, the child in her stomach was more than seven months... Seven months was fine, and she could still bear running around, but she didn't know if the child would be fine.

"Don't think too much, the boat will be straight when it reaches the bridge."

Seeing that he was frowning as if thinking about something, Ling Jun pulled Ling Qing to sit him down on the couch.

"Before the development of 'Guiding', you should raise the fetus peacefully, don't think about anything..." Ling Jun squatted down as if talking to Ling Qing's stomach, "Even if he is not sincere to you I want it, but he has already come after all, so you can accept it with peace of mind. To be a blood relative, I don’t know if it’s the fate of many lifetimes..."

Ling Jun lowered his voice as he spoke, Ling Qing only felt that something had landed on his hand, shattered in his palm, and fainted with dampness.

Ling Qing raised his hand to touch Ling Jun's head, and suddenly remembered what Yan Yunlie once said——

Love is fate, ruthless lovesickness...

After that day, Ling Jun went to Ling Qing almost every day.Every time I don’t come empty-handed, sometimes I bring one or two hot steamed buns, sometimes it’s herbs collected from the mountains that can nourish the body, and sometimes I bring a small cup of chicken soup.

Ling Qing was very grateful, but Ling Jun didn't like hearing him thank you.Ling Qing knew that Ling Jun had transferred all his feelings for the lost child to the unborn little life in his stomach. Thinking of this, he acquiesced in everything he did. Not until the day of leaving.

Ling Qing is very aware of her physical condition, her belly is getting bigger and bigger, but her body is getting worse day by day.

I think that when I was in Xujia Village, although I was in a remote mountain, at least I had enough food and clothing at that time. Ruan Suxue also had good cooking skills. Knowing that he would get scared when he saw soup and medicine, he changed his way to make medicinal food for him. Make up, I made him up several times...

Thinking of this, Ling Qing couldn't help but looked out of the window. It was already the severe cold of the twelfth lunar month, and there was a thin layer of snow outside. It seemed that the Chinese New Year was coming, and the place was still as bleak as ever. There is only a small brazier inside, which was found by Ling Jun.

Ling Qing turned her head, and her gaze fell on the brazier in front of her. The red-burning charcoal was shining with flickering fire points, emitting almost imperceptible heat.Last year was the year I spent with Ruan Suxue in Xujia Village, and I was also pregnant for these months.There are braziers all around the house to keep it warm.Ruan Suxue entertained the villagers in the front room, but because he hugged Qi Zhao like a piglet, Ruan Suxue stayed in the back room with a porcelain pillow in his arms to practice how to hold the child.

At that time, he also told Ruan Suxue that this year he failed to accompany his parents and fulfill his filial piety, but next year they will be able to have a reunion dinner with their grandson and live up to their old age... Thinking about it, it was only a year ago, but it seems It has been a long time ago.

He still remembers the smell of drunken wine that filled the room on New Year's Eve; he still remembers playing head to head with him while holding Qi Zhao in his arms, which made the silly boy giggle; I stole some free time in the afternoon, moved a recliner chair to the yard, and took a nap in the sun with the quiet little guy in my stomach...

It was an extremely short but beautiful time in his memory.

The door was pushed open with a creak, and the north wind whizzed in with a few snowflakes, but was quickly blocked by the visitors.

Ling Jun walked in with a quilt in her arms, "I'm afraid you'll be cold, so I brought you a quilt."

"Then what do you do?" Ling Qing asked.

Ling Jun spread the bedding for him, "Don't worry about me, take care of yourself and the baby in your stomach first."

After finishing her busy work, Ling Jun turned around and smoothed out her wind-blown hair on her temples.Although he was punished as a servant, the arrogance in his body has not diminished at all, and he doesn't know what kind of face he will show to others when he is assigned to work...

But seeing him come and go freely, and his body is always clean, I think he was raised as an idler, but his identity was changed.

Ling Qing couldn't help sighing inwardly, some people are born to be held in the palm of their hand and protected, while some...

"What are you thinking?" Ling Jun came over and used the tongs to turn over the charcoal in the brazier, then took Ling Qing's hand, rubbed it for him, because the blood was not flowing, Ling Qing's fingers were frozen It was red and had many chilblains.

"I have negotiated with the person who delivered your meals. From now on, I will deliver your meals. I will bring you hot ones from the kitchen. How can I always eat cold food?"

Ling Qing didn't make a sound, his eyes fell on the string of silver bells on Ling Jun's waist, he stared at the string of silver bells, thought for a moment, then smiled and said: "You can't bring that quilt from Wei Yu, right?" Immediately showing a "how do you know" expression.

Ling Qing laughed, "You have put several new ones on this string of things."

When Ling Jun heard it, he immediately stretched out his hand to press the string of silver bells on his waist as if a deep hidden secret had been discovered.

Ling Qing thought it was funny, but when he thought about it, his nose felt a little sour. He reached out and took the string of silver bells out of Ling Jun's hand, and put them in his palm to examine them carefully.

Only after looking at it like this can we know that there are thousands of wonders on this small thing, all kinds of fine patterns or engravings or carvings, not only can we see that the people who made it carefully, there are more than ten pieces on the string, each of them is beautiful. It is different, and it is obvious that the people who selected have spent a lot of thought on collecting.

"Find him out and tell him what's on your mind..."

"Huh?" Ling Jun couldn't hear clearly.

Ling Qing didn't say it a second time, but just looked at one of the string of silver bells, and the corner of his mouth slightly twitched.